#ceejay rambles

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Does anyone else enjoy OT4 polyville? It just makes sense to me that they would even if it's 150% toxic.

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As much as Josh is my favorite club member, Bill eerily creeps his way into my head a lot. He reminds me of myself when I was younger and that kind of thing terrifies me. I view his relationship with Jerry as BPD-haver / FP and the act of Jerry leaving him is similar to my younger self.

I absolutely love the headcanon that Bill has a cluster-B personality disorder whether it would be NPD, BPD, or ASPD and sometimes I think about epilogue Bill refusing to be diagnosed and/or him medicated.

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Thinking about Joshie from the GzEltingville AU. I think..while I believe canon Josh Levy has LSN autism, Joshie to me is probably M-HSN due to my own experience with MSN autism (and a deviantart kid) and my close friends who have HSN autism and are NEETs themselves.

Josh genuinely speaks to me on a deeper level and I'm not sure if that raises concern.

(For clarity:

LSN/MSN/HSN: Low/Mid/High Support Needs)

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I have both tags blocked, but I started self-shipping to see if it's fun and it is. I'm excited so far.

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⚠️ emotional incestual abuse

Talking about Bill + GzEltingville!Bill

I need to reread both comics to better regather my thoughts, but I reread dyellogin's backstory for Bill and my mind immediately recognised the emotional incest. (I'm typing as a victim interpreting the comic and I know emotional abuse is different than emotional incest, but parentification is a form of emotional incest. When a parent blurs the lines between parent and child and expects the child to appeal towards the comfort of the parent--it is considered incest and emotional will always precede physical incest (ie: CSA)) Women especially single mothers/failing marriage-mothers are suspectable towards emotional incest towards their children and that affects how the child develops emotionally. This makes sense to how Bill was easily influenced through Joe's backwards views if his situation growing up has a lack of a father figure, an emotionally-inappropriate mother because he has no genuine guidance and instead gets hooked into extremist content online in which he parrots offline to the people around him.

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I think the Northwest Comix Collective are so underutilized. I am so curious about them. I know they're undignified art snobs, failed cartoonists, and Underground Comix fanboys. I read the blurb about Art Spiegelman's Maus from James and had to hide my face from laughing so hard.

Very certain that they're Crumb fans but I'm hoping that they've probably read Backderf's graphic novels and think to themselves "Damn! I should've been friends with the quiet kid..." Or something along those lines (In reference to My Friend Dahmer).

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Yapping because i'm unemployed on a Saturday.

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Brain is filled with Emo!Jerry ideas.