even the smallest cuts can bleed — aka, i’m going to see now much john walker angst i can condense into shorter snippets (usually <1k words for each prompt / re: whumptober prompts)
celestial john au: i will die your son (it’s not in my hands now)
sentry john au: how much can you stand (what more can you lose)
pre-tfatws aus: i’m fine to wait in line (with all my heavy stuff)
tfatws aus: i’ve lost my patience (where is the karma)
thunderbolts aus: someone tell me why (why i’m all in my head)
•••
ALTERNATIVES
"a smile so bright, he’s the devil in disguise." - ego is certain john has the light within him.
concussion - it's a lovely car ride with lemar and olivia. until it isn't.
viral - john cannot afford to be sick. unfortunately, his body has not received the memo.
suicide - john is the alone in the vault. escape is not on his mind.
yearning - john has a crush. lemar also has a crush.
deal with the devil - valentina promised john a clean slate.
DAY ONE
"please don't cry" - not all of john's ops are successful.
lamb to slaughter - mantis has been alone for a long time.
ceremony - john walker recieves his first medal of honor.
beg for forgiveness - john faces the hoskins after lemar's death.
DAY TWO
"you've got a lot of nerve to dredge up all my fears." - bob does not cry when his father is brought back after the blip.
DAY THREE
isolation - john is not used to being alone, but ego's planet is devoid of most other life.
found family - bob finds himself in madripoor. he finds acceptance in a common ideal.
DAY FOUR
"don't be scared, i've done this before." - ego tries to draw the light out of john.
non-human whumper - ego considered planting that tumor in meredith as a necessity.
loss of powers - john is entirely mortal again.
DAY FIVE
phobia - valentina has left him to die in an incinerator. it is not the first time john has been abandoned in a fire.
DAY SIX
"no grave can hold my body down" - mantis shows john a secret she'd discovered about ego's other children.
late night talks (flufftober) - john and lemar have been sharing a bed for years.
DAY SEVEN
"tell me that you're okay, and i'm fine" - john lays in the warehouse in the aftermath of lemar's dies.
elevator - john steps forward, towards olivia, towards the fall.
DAY EIGHT
self-inflicted injury - john doesn't see an issue with causing himself harm. if the serum will heal it, then what does it matter?
dissociation - lemar is gone, again. olivia has been gone. it feels like john had left with them.
DAY NINE
"we'll make it alright to come undone" - john contends with being part of a family again.
touch - mantis is unused to affection.
DAY TEN
"there's nothing you can ever say, nothing you can ever do" - john and yelena have a talk on the watchtower rooftop.
secrets - john is realizing that ego has gotten complicit.
DAY ELEVEN
"can you get through all the pain inside you?" - john seeks solace at the bottom of a bottle.
forced reveal - ego learns that the child he'd hired yondu to fetch from earth might be special.
up against the wall kiss (flufftober) - john returns from deployment. olivia is there to greet him.
DAY TWELVE
"it'll be for nothing" - john can't make himself give up the shield. sam talks him through his grief.
withholding medical treatment - ego seeks out peter, and john gets hurt in the crossfire.
DAY THIRTEEN
never enough - john is five-years-old when he’s left behind in a housefire.
DAY FOURTEEN
body bag - the void beckons. john is drawn to its call.
wounded caretaker - peter meets john and mantis.
DAY FIFTEEN
failed rescue attempt - yondu doesn't plan to let ego take peter so easily. unfortunately, it is that easy for ego.
DAY TWENTY
resignation - john knows he needs help. he can't accept it.
DAY TWENTY-ONE
fireman's carry (flufftober) - teenage lemar, olivia, and john have a lovely summer afternoon.
DAY TWENTY-EIGHT
"is that my hoodie?" "...no?" (flufftober) - lemar can't find his varsity jacket.
DAY TWENTY-NINE
last one standing - bob always ends up alone.
DAY THIRTY-ONE
gunshot wound - lemar gets shot, and john patches him up.
