Sometimes being alone is the best thing for you. You can learn a lot about yourself. It's not desperate to want to get over things before your ex, it's normal. Just don't think of it as a competition. Everyone heals differently. Just keep moving forward and things will work out <3
tbh I know I'll never really "heal", at least not completely.
It was a full three years.
and if I was to be really honest, I did actually lose my virginity to him.
So maybe it'll never fully heal, because even though cuts sting in the beginning, they'll heal into scars, and maybe you'll look back at that scar and remember, but the pain won't be the same.
And yeah that wound may be healing quicker than most wounds, but its still open and really thinking about it hurts, but I'm learning how to deal with it.
and sometimes being alone is good, but I really don't have any family and even though I've lived my life without their help, and living on my own, he was always my emotional rock. I don't have a mom or dad or aunt or uncle or grandparents that I could go to when I'm down, because if anything they're my problem.
Really, again to be even more honest, I don't think he'll be finding anyone soon, probably years after I leave college and maybe even find somebody, or engaged, or hey who know maybe a twist of events leaves me dead by then. This isn't just because I'm bitter, though I am, it's also because of just me knowing him. Even though he ended it, it hurt him, a lot. It hurts him that I'm bitter, and hell, I was also his first. He feels alone, and wanted to be alone, I was there as an emotional rock and he didn't want it, so he's really just not looking for a relationship.
I'm not gonna fling my stuff around or beg for a boyfriend or cry because I don't have one, but it would be nice to get an emotional rock back in my life. It'd be nice to find someone nice.