It seems an appropriate juncture to reflect upon my journey as a cell group leader, 2 months into the new cell, with old members, new members, new co-lead and new material.
Being a cell leader has truly been among the hardest things I have done in my life.
Not because the tasks are process-wise hard, not because of red tape, but from the simple fact that the only way to do it well is to invest unconditionally.
Learning to read the Word, digest it and process it has been a thoroughly enlightening journey, and I have Nicole/Kevin/Khai Feng/Ying Xian/Ningyi to thank for modelling the way in bring the Word to life, in making the Word accessible, relational and applicable.
Being humble to acknowledge that I know very little about the Bible, and being broken enough to confess my sin in front of others has also been this big leap forward. Accountability is a privilege not to be taken lightly, and shame is a prospect that always works against accountability. In doing so, I have also learnt to become more honest with myself about my own sins, doubts, shortcomings and my standing with God with respect to how serious I am about His call to discipleship.
Walking boundaries is a great challenge for people our age; relational, corporate, emotional, moral. At this age where we begin to apply our identity and character to real-life issues, drawing and walking boundaries comprises a good part of our successes and failures. I have learnt to walk the boundaries between boy/girl while working together, while ministering to ladies who are attached, learn how to protect both parties in making preventive decisions. I also learnt what it means to fight your head vs your heart and how important it is to seek God’s wisdom when I pursued someone from cell. Although that ventured was regrettably unsuccessful, and admittedly I am still recovering one year on, I am relieved that our friendship remains intact, and our ministries with each other too.
Embracing the unpredictable is an unavoidable encounter, and there were many moments I had to choose how to react when a cell member shared something, requested something. It was often a fight between others vs self, spending time on myself vs time for others. I still am not very good at this, especially when the problems are honestly way above my own ability.
This is still one of the best decisions I have made in my life, and I’m just chuffed I have another real capable co-lead to journey this with.