#cenotaphy posts

[fromcenotaphy]

where are the dean edits set to the nobody's soldier snippet... pls im begging im on my hands and knees im losing my mind

[fromcenotaphy]

Dean and Sam hunting together: well that’s the show isn’t it? saving people hunting things etc etc. brotherly moments that make you either go awww or want to throw them off a cliff. practically reading each other’s minds on hunts bc they’ve been doing it for so long. terrible communication any other time

Dean and Cas hunting together: hunter husbands. standing 1.5 inches away from each other at all times. constant bickering constant eye sex constant rifling through each other’s pockets oh god they’re so fucking married

Sam and Eileen hunting together: extremely sweet together. heart eyes while discussing lore and/or tactics. pretending not to be worried about each other because they each really want to respect the other person’s independence and hunting skills.

Cas and Eileen hunting together: murder besties. taking turns beating the shit out of villains while the other person nods approvingly. roasting their boyfriends during stakeouts. mutual agreement not to tell dean and sam how many people they’ve blackmailed.

Dean and Eileen hunting together: sky-high levels of competence. kicking ass left right and center. off-the-charts wittiness. spn would only be 1 season long if it was about these two because they would immediately solve every apocalypse in the most practical way possible and then spend the rest of the season getting drunk together at dive bars.

Sam and Cas hunting together: terrible, terrible idea. the case may get solved but fifty new problems will be created. maximum chaos minimum planning. all ancient curses and alternate dimensions are fair game. cosmic regime changes ARE on the table. 90% chance that one of them ends up in a coma.

[fromcenotaphy]

you're really going to make your prequel revolve around John and Mary when Castiel, angel of the lord, multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent, weird dorky little guy, inventor of free will, bastion of pettiness, hottest angel in the garrison, backed the neanderthals, didn't step on that fish, how many times Naomi, frankly too damn many, freedom is a length of rope, famous spanner in the works, it's in just being, for the first time I feel, it gets worse, not you not the one off the line with the crack in his chassis, was RIGHT THERE

[fromcenotaphy]

eileen and dean interactions that I am outraged we didn’t get to see:

- dean memorizing Eye of the Tiger in ASL and performing it with 10x more enthusiasm than skill any time it comes on the radio

- eileen making dean blush the first time he makes her a burger and she won’t shut up about how good it is

- repeated gag where they’re arming up on a hunt and dean turns to offer the relevant weapon to eileen and she just shakes her head and pulls an identical one out of her pocket/boot/bag/car because my girl is prePARED

- the weapons get more and more ridiculous as we go. bone knife. obsidian machete. spray can of holy oil. shuriken dipped in lamb’s blood. sanctified grenade launcher.

- sword fights in the bunker library

- eileen immediately adopting all of dean’s made-up names for new monsters. sam and cas refuse.

- PRANK WARS

- dean hearing screams from down the hall on a night when sam’s away. bursting through the door to find eileen halfway out of a nightmare. she stares at him with wide dark eyes. presses a hand to her stomach like she expects to find wounds.

- (i couldn’t see it, she whispers. i tried to fight but i — ) (dean holds her shoulders, says, it wasn’t your fault, says, i couldn’t fight them when they came for me, either.)

- (it tore me apart, she says, crying. it dragged my soul to hell in its teeth and i couldn’t fight — i couldn’t do anything — do you know — do you KNOW — ) (i know, says dean. his voice cracks. he pulls her into a hug. i know. i know.)

[fromcenotaphy]

no i will not elaborate

[fromcenotaphy]

hbo castiel is [wings visible at odd times, dark feathers with an oil-slick sheen] [injuries leaking blood for hours until dean reminds him to heal himself] [constant tension headaches from ever-present angel radio] [heals people by cutting himself and feeding them his grace] [comes back from the rapture episode with visible burn marks from being tortured in heaven] [possessive of dean’s body because he rebuilt it from atoms] [spends the second half of season 5 doing heroin and hooking up in bathroom stalls because he can feel himself falling and he’s terrified] [long shots of him standing under highway overpasses or street lamps or nonsensical billboards] [constantly cupping dean’s jaw for no reason] [speaks to sam in enochian when he’s distracted] [never remembering what year it is] [keeps getting accidentally shot by sam and dean when he tries to wake them up from their nightmares] [drips blood onto their motel room sheets and tells them they’re okay it’s okay he’s there he’ll protect them it’s okay]

[fromcenotaphy]

Sam and Cas and chaos energy

incomplete list of Sam and Castiel’s Chaos Hangouts, organized by the number of gunshot wounds involved:

zero:

locking a witch and a hacker in a warehouse together to decode a forbidden spellbook of dark magic in order to perform a ritual that will lift an ancient curse and coincidentally also unleash a primordial cosmic force into the world {Chaos Level: 4/10. this escapade demonstrates poor planning but is fairly pragmatic.}

Cas struggling to remove his physical hand from Sam’s chest in order to keep Lucifer from detonating Sam’s soul, a situation they are in because Cas has agreed to be possessed by an archangel and Sam has aggressively volunteered to let his soul be used as a battery  {Chaos Level: 6/10. extremely haphazard but only somewhat chaotic.}

trying to extract angel grace from Sam’s body using a giant syringe that they found in the Bunker along with some random untested instructions they also found  {Chaos Level: 8/10. baseline Sam and Cas messaround.}

poking around in the Bunker archives until they find the key to Death’s library so that Sam can bluff his way past a cosmic void entity in order to steal the book that contains the secret to defeating God  {Chaos Level: 9/10. this is a standard Sam and Cas plan but with extra non-Earth dimensions added in.}

wrestling on a diner floor because Sam got brainwashed into believing he’s a 50s-era head of the household named Justin  {Chaos Level: 18/10. off-the-charts Sam and Cas chaos energy.}

one:

Sam missing a ghost with a salt round and shooting Cas instead {Chaos Level: 9/10. includes gems such as: Cas states the obvious in a deadpan voice, Sam doesn’t apologize for waking up that morning and choosing chaos, also a literal clown is there.}

Sam going into a coma because they decided to have Cas probe the magic gunshot wound in Sam’s shoulder that is tethering Sam’s soul to God because Sam previously decided to shoot God with a magic gun  {Chaos Level: 12/10. extra chaos points added because they have learned nothing from the Gadreel grace incident.}

psychically contacting their dead father figure so that he can orchestrate a mass soul prison break creating a distraction so that Cas can sneak into Heaven and break Metatron out of jail and bring him back to Earth in order to cut out his grace so that Sam can shoot Metatron in the leg and then Sam and Cas can finish each other’s sentences as they sass Metatron together while he screams in pain  {Chaos Level: 100/10. the levels of pandemonium, batshit planning, interdimensional mayhem, and violent off-the-cuff sass here are unparalleled.}

multiple:

gunfight in a bar full of demons that 1) starts because Cas decided to go alone to meet a demon in a bar in order to ask him for information about a rogue archangel and 2) ends because Sam yells to the room that he is Extremely Done with Hell politics and will shank the next person who brings it up  {Chaos Level: 15/10. this is only held back from being an easy 50/10 by the fact that Cas is chained to a chair the whole time the fight is happening.}

(inspired by this post which i am still laughing about)

[fromcenotaphy]

okay okay but. hbo dean. think: [protective tattoos running down both arms and crisscrossing his ribs] [constantly touch-starved] [middle finger to every cop car he passes] [rushed sex with strangers in alleyways and behind dive bars and outside shitty concert venues] [years and years of Hell nightmares] [wakes up in motels in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep until he checks that Sam’s still breathing] [doesn’t ever lose the handprint scar] [will never tell anyone that John used to hit him] [angry, desperate sex with Cas any time one of them almost dies] [parks the Impala on the side of the road and lies on the roof looking at stars] [teaches Claire how to dislocate her thumbs to get out of handcuffs] [season-long side plot of him getting deliberately injured in fights because he’s addicted to the feel of Cas’ grace] [turned tricks as a teenager to afford food for himself and Sam] [still won’t let anyone walk up to him from behind] [rips Cas’ lower jaw clean off his face during their fight in 10.22] [aggressively cooking for people in lieu of telling them he loves them] [absolutely lethal in a close-quarters knife fight] [doesn’t tell Sam or Cas about the ma’lak box] [spends 3 months screaming in the dark at the bottom of the pacific before they find him and haul him out half-feral and begging to die]