okay okay but. hbo dean. think: [protective tattoos running down both arms and crisscrossing his ribs] [constantly touch-starved] [middle finger to every cop car he passes] [rushed sex with strangers in alleyways and behind dive bars and outside shitty concert venues] [years and years of Hell nightmares] [wakes up in motels in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep until he checks that Sam’s still breathing] [doesn’t ever lose the handprint scar] [will never tell anyone that John used to hit him] [angry, desperate sex with Cas any time one of them almost dies] [parks the Impala on the side of the road and lies on the roof looking at stars] [teaches Claire how to dislocate her thumbs to get out of handcuffs] [season-long side plot of him getting deliberately injured in fights because he’s addicted to the feel of Cas’ grace] [turned tricks as a teenager to afford food for himself and Sam] [still won’t let anyone walk up to him from behind] [rips Cas’ lower jaw clean off his face during their fight in 10.22] [aggressively cooking for people in lieu of telling them he loves them] [absolutely lethal in a close-quarters knife fight] [doesn’t tell Sam or Cas about the ma’lak box] [spends 3 months screaming in the dark at the bottom of the pacific before they find him and haul him out half-feral and begging to die]