Don’t Come Looking for Love 🫦
Pairing: Bucky Barnes × Centipede Soldier!Reader
Word Count: 3.86k
Warning: 18+, Angst, Smut, Language, Black-coded Reader
A/N: This one shot is inspired by the song No Love by August Alsina. As always anyone and everyone(18 and up) can enjoy this fic and feel free to send any asks since the ask box is open.
| You know I can't make this thing that official |
“So you’re good with this being a no-strings type of thing, right?”
“ Yeah, absolutely,” you panted, in between kisses. Because what else were you supposed to say as Bucky was already in the process of unclipping your bra.
“ Okay, great.”
He nipped your lip before tugging his t-shirt off. Once you saw his abs, it was all over. The centipede device in your arm practically glowed before you threw the 110-year-old super soldier across the room onto the bed, nearly splitting the wall behind him.
His look of shock was gone within the seconds it took for you to hop onto his lap. Your lips stayed on his as you tugged off your shorts. You grinded against him as he reached into the bedside table, grabbing one of what looked like thousands of condoms. When he saw your eyes start to narrow, Bucky grinned, “ What, you can’t ever be too careful, right?”
“ Yeah, no, yeah, you’re right,” you swallowed down the small ping of your heart.
You placed your hand over his, “ Don’t put on the condom just yet.” The different serums you both had pumping through your veins meant STIs were impossible to get, so giving him head didn’t require it. You distracted yourself by letting him fuck your mouth, and well, when he returned the favor, any hesitations you may have had were decimated, as you saw stars. When Bucky came off his knees to kiss you, you could taste yourself on his lips.
“ So condom now?” He asked his lips, now ghosting yours.
“ Yeah, hell yeah.”
You heard the sound of foil opening, and then he was inside of you. The moan that came from your mouth would’ve made nuns and pornstorn alike clutch their pearls. And neither of you got tired. At one point, Bucky had grabbed the headboard for leverage and, well, that thing, fell apart like it was made of glass. By the time the sun rose, whatever furniture Bucky had in his sparsely decorated room was broken.
| Believe we had a great night but I ain′t the type to tell you that I miss you |
When you woke up the next morning, there was a cup of coffee and a note pretty much letting you know you needed to have your ass out of Bucky’s room before he returned. He was pretty much making it crystal clear that while you had an amazing night together, he was serious about the no-strings policy he had set.
Over the next few weeks, Bucky paraded plenty of women and men back into his room. Since you and Bob were the ones who tended to stay in the watchtower more than not, you’d both taken to going on ‘field trips’ together as soon as the former congressman walked in with his arm wrapped around a new person.
You couldn’t say that you weren’t disappointed. It wasn’t like you’d expected him to stop sleeping with other people, but it still hurt how soon he was able to move on. You’d stay out all night and come back to the tower exhausted every time you brought someone over.
You were nearly falling asleep in your coffee when Ava approached you, “ So you and Barnes. How’s that going?”
“ There is no that, no us, nothing. It seems like it was just a one-time thing.”
Your point was supported when Bucky came into the common area, walking his latest conquest outside to the already waiting taxi parked in front of the building.
“ Well, I mean. Barnes doesn’t seem like the type of guy to admit he misses you. But I’d bet my suit he does,” Ava said, shrugging before phasing through the wall. You sighed. You hated it when she did that.
—————
If you were a stronger woman, you would’ve said no to Bucky’s offer the next time the team went out. Maybe it was the white liquor, or the loneliness, or just knowing you’d have the best sex of your life, but you agreed to spend the night with each other. You dragged him into your room this time, cause there was no way in hell you were fucking in the same bed as all his other conquests.
Turns out it didn’t even matter because as soon as the door shut behind you, Bucky pushed you onto the plush carpet that Val had put in your room. And he pounded into you right there. Of course, eventually you heard someone on the floor below you banging on the wall.
“ Hey guys, it sounds like an earthquake up there. Can you keep it the fuck down?” John yelled with his usual indignation. So yeah, your response was to be even louder, and eventually the complaints ceased.
| You don't like that I make this easy, leaving after sexing on the floor |
Over the next month or so, you and Bucky had fucked a lot; in fact, there was even a reduction in the number of other people he brought home. When you asked him about it, he just said, “ I like not having to hold back. And since you’re the only super soldier, I’m attracted to this; it's just easier.
You couldn’t lie, it hurt how easily he was able to leave after you guys fucked. You wanted to cuddle and have some pillow talk afterwards. Bucky preferred to do things differently, pulling his clothes on and being gone before you woke up.
You hated yourself in those moments right after you’d wake up to an empty bed, tears filling your eyes. Yet and still, every time he offered, you took him up on it.
—————
You’d both been sent on a mission with Ava and John to surveil, interrogate, and incarcerate a rogue group of ex S.W.O.R.D. members, who seemed to be attempting to traffic civilians to be experimented on for terrorist group efforts.
You had your hair in your usual frenchbraids, making you look unassuming before you showed the hostiles what a broken spleen felt like. The mission was going well, you with John, and Bucky with Ava. Then things went to shit. Once you’d gathered all the civilians together, you find out pretty quickly that the goal wasn’t to kidnap people, but rather to eliminate witnesses. Death so much death, you were pretty sure you had bits of someone’s brains in your hair.
When you found one of the hostiles standing near the body of what appeared to be a five-year-old girl, whose arms were still clutching a stuffed bear, John had to call Bucky because just one super soldier wasn’t enough to stop you from snapping necks. The ride back on the jet was quiet, each of you dealing with the sense of failure and the fact that there was nothing on the aircraft that could get all the blood off the people you were meant to save off your body. After the debrief, you ran to your room, slamming the door so hard you nearly split it in half.
—————
You were detangling your freshly rinsed hair when the shower door slid open. You yelped, covering your breast even when you realized who the intruder in your en suite was.
“ What are you doing, Buck?”
“ You seemed like you needed someone, sweetheart.” You shook off the tug on your heartstrings from the petname.
“ Even if I did, why the hell are you in here letting the heat out of my shower?”
“ I figured we could save water if I kept you company here.”
“ Fine, but you better wash my back.”
“ Yes, ma’am,” he said, pulling his tactical gear off.
And you, well, you had to detangle your hair a few more times that night.
| Baby, I know you need me, like I need you, but I'm not the one you wanna love |
After a few weeks of being each other’s only sexual partners, Bucky had started taking you out to get food after rocking your world, claiming, “ We gotta make sure we’re meeting our caloric needs after strenuous activities.”
Your situationship was slowly becoming more than just sex, and you knew he needed you as much as you needed him. So one night, wrapped in each other’s arms, naked and glistening, you asked him. “ Buck, do you think… do you think that we’re becoming more than friends?”
“ No. We’re just two people who have a good time sleeping together and hang out sometimes. No strings, remember?”
“ Well, yeah, but you haven’t been sleeping with other people recently, so I thought that maybe—”
“There’s no maybe,” Bucky said, starting to pull on his clothes.
“ Buck, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to force anything.”
“ Look, sweetheart. I don’t do relationships. Because I’m a lot to handle and I don’t feel like starting a commitment with someone and being required to share my feelings all the time, or worry about keeping up with my nightmares, or eventually forced to go to couples counseling. I won’t, I won’t do it. I deserve damn peace after everything I’ve been through.”
“ I’m not saying you don’t deserve peace, you do. And I’m a lot to handle too, I just thought maybe since we’re similar we would understand each other—”
| You use to them but ain′t no loving me |
Look, YN, you’re used to guys who actually know how to talk about their feelings. I’m not one of them. I’m old, I’m exhausted, and my idea of coping is a bad joke and a loaded pistol. You deserve someone who isn’t a walking cautionary tale. I should go.
Buck, you don’t have to bolt. I’m not trying to sign up for the girlfriend Olympics here, I just wanted to know where we stand—
| I hear what you would say and, girl, it's clear to see |
“ And that’s why I have to leave. If we continue on like we are, I know those types of questions will start running through your mind and I don’t need that stress while I’m trying to fuck you.”
“ Now, wait a minute,” you said pulling the sheet around you as you sat up, “ You’re making a lot of assumptions about me and how I think. I don’t need to worry about what we are, you just explained it. So why are you rushing to leave?”
“ Cause I think we need a break from this situation. Good night, sweetheart.” And then he was gone and good riddance
| You probably go insane with a n***a like me |
The next day, it was business as usual, and the day after that, Bucky was back on his regular bullshit, but this time he was bringing different people to his bedroom every damn night, clearly trying and successfully proving his point. There seemed to be no way that you wouldn’t go insane being with him.
You got all your tears out in a single afternoon. After that, you decided that you needed to spend more time nurturing your friendships with your other teammates. You did weekly chores with Bob, went to the animal shelter with Yelena, sparred with John, watched reality television with Ava, and did drinking games with Alexei.
Having friends was cool, but you did miss getting your body rocked. Apparently, you mentioned those feelings out loud by accident, and that’s when Yelena suggested that all of the team should go out to a club. To dance, drink, have a good time, and take someone home at the end of the night. All with the anonymity of a dark ass club, where no one had to know you were New Avengers, at least not upfront. And you know what, you agreed to go cause what the hell. You were down to let a stranger help you get rid of the dust starting to collect in your basement.
Everyone got dressed up in their version of whore couture. Yelena’s cleavage popped out of the shirt she had on, with a slit down to her navel. Alexei had shaved his beard down, taking years off his face. John's biceps looked like they might burst through his flannel. Ava leaned into her dominatrix-like look with a bold smoky eye and spiked jewelry. You’d never seen Bob in clothes so tight; the muscle tee and skinny jeans combo was working for him. You had to avoid looking at Bucky, who was looking fine as hell in a brown shearling jacket and his usually spiked or neck-length hair cut into fluffy waves. And you, well, your thigh-high boots and your waist-length wrap-around ponytail.
| Let′s just party 'til we can′t, ain't no loving me |
The plan was to party until you couldn’t anymore. Which, with four super soldiers, an Inhuman, a former black widow assasin, and Bob, wouldn’t be anytime soon. It didn’t take too long for everyone to start doing their own thing. You were sipping on the strongest drink you could tolerate when you noticed Bucky, surrounded by a bunch of women, women who appeared to be enjoying a bachelorette party.
You were pissed, but rather than sitting there nursing your drink, you found the tallest Non-Avenger you could find and danced with him and plenty of others. What started as you being petty turned into you actually having a lot of fun; you’d actually forgotten about Bucky. But Bucky, well, he hadn’t forgotten about you.
| And I′m the one to blame, ain't no loving me |
As much fun as it was hanging out with a bunch of pretty, attractive women, Bucky Barnes couldn’t contain his jealousy. He’d explained his reasons for being against relationships, and he meant them. He didn’t do relationships; he didn’t need the stress or to be the cause of someone else’s stress.
Did he want to come home with all those people? Not necessarily, but he had to make sure you knew that he would be bad for you. Your experiences may have been similar in some ways, but the difference was that you remained strong and well, kind, and he hadn’t. The last thing he wanted was to break your heart. Especially cause you’d have to continue working together.
Still, though the truth remained: he brought the jealousy and heart pains he was currently feeling on himself. And you, you were having the time of your life, and all he wanted was to be next to you. But instead, he started trying to determine which one of the girls hanging onto him would be worth taking home.
| So don't come looking for love |
When you finally left the club, it was after finding a minor league baseball player to take home. Once he realized that you were a New Avenger, he seemed even more eager. But you quickly let him know that if he went home for you, he better not be looking for love. When he agreed, you dragged him into your room. You didn’t expect that first night to lead to a second, third, fourth, and tenth night. Without even realizing it, you became in an exclusive situation.
And you know what, you liked it. You didn’t use labels, but you spent a lot of time together, and you and Aaron got along pretty well. And since he was also busy, he wasn’t as clingy as some of the other dudes you’d tried to integrate into your life.
At first, you and Aaron tended to spend time at his place, due to the increased intensity of Bucky’s sexual escapades, until one day they just stopped. Bucky was no longer bringing people home; in fact, he seemed eager to spend more time with the team. More friendly than any of you had seen him be… well, ever. It was almost like you’d both been able to move on from the disastrous no-strings arrangement you’d once had.
| All I want is you so what you tryna do? |
A few weeks later, you’d woken up to a knock on your door. You yawned, making your way to the door, expecting to see a slightly disheveled Bob asking to borrow another book, but to your surprise, you were met with the face of your ex-situationship.
“ Oh, hey Buck? What are you doing here, so late?”
“ I wanted to ask you something.”
“ Ok, this should be good since you couldn’t wait until morning.”
“ Are you and that baseball player together?” Bucky murmured, avoiding your eyes, instead staring at his own gloved hands.
“ If you’re asking if I’m dating, Aaron, then the answer is no. We just like hanging out and having a good time together, and since we’re both too busy to chase other tail, we ended up just being with each other. But he’s not my boyfriend.” Bucky nodded his head, finally looking at you.
“Sweetheart, the truth is I came up here because all I want tonight is you.”
“ So what are you finna do about it, Bucky?”
Rather than answering the question, he picked you up by your thighs, pushing the door closed with his foot. Next thing you knew, you were thrown onto your bed, your pajamas having been torn off. That night, the sex felt different, slower, rawer.
It wasn’t that he pulled out of you before grabbing a towel to finish in that you realized Bucky hadn’t worn a condom. He always wore a condom. It was a force of habit, the habit of a man who only ever had no strings sex, and yet, with you tonight, there was no denying the strings starting to form.
| Me and them girls, we ain't the same, boo, you know I hate it, when you leave me|
You were lying wrapped in each other’s arms, staring at all the pictures littering your bedroom walls, when you finally gathered the courage to speak.
“Bucky, this is the last time we’re doing this. I’m not like the other people you're with. I hate this. Being with you one night than having to leave the tower to avoid the sounds of you fucking someone else the next.”
“ Yeah, sweetheart. I figured you’d feel that way, remember?” Bucky sighed, a sigh that you took to mean he was ready to leave, but then he didn’t. “ I don’t want to do that anymore either, I think, no, I know that I want to be exclusive with you. If you’ll have me?”
Oh God, how you wanted to say yes and pepper his face with kisses, but you held your ground. He’d have to work for it. You weren’t finna be played for a fool again.
“ I’ll think about it. If you can go sixty days.”
| You can′t treat me like you treat them |
“ Sixty days of what?” Bucky asked incredulously.
“ Sixty days of not fucking or even flirting with anyone else. I want proof, proof that you’re serious about me. That you’re not just saying the same bullshit you tell others to get them into your bed.”
“ You’re serious?”
You crossed your arms, which in itself was almost an answer enough.
“ I’m absolutely serious. If I’m gonna end the nice thing I have going with Aaron, I need to be certain that you won’t jump ship as soon as things outside the bedroom get hard.”
“ Okay, okay, fine. Sixty days,” Bucky said, bringing his right pinky to yours, quickly hooking it to yours.
The next sixty days were going to be very interesting.
| You fronting in them streets, keep saying we just friends |
During a recon mission, he and Alexei found themselves surrounded by civilians. A particularly adorable little girl saw the picture of you that was the wallpaper on Bucky’s smart watch. When she asked who you were, Bucky told her you were his girlfriend without hesitation.
The little girl grinned, flashing the gummy smile of a kid who just lost a few baby teeth. “ Your girlfriend’s really pretty.”
“ Yeah, I know,” Bucky replied with a grin.
| So what you want, baby? |
After that night, Bucky made good on his promise. He found the challenge to be hard, not because he wanted to sleep with anyone else, but because he didn’t really know what to say when people questioned him about his behavior change. He really didn’t want to get into the sixty-day deal. Naturally, he responded that he was taken, which wasn’t necessarily true, at least from your end. The thing is that he would no longer risk calling you just friends. That was just a straight-up lie.
Once the sixty mission-filled days were up, Bucky made his way to his own room. He’d just gotten out of the shower when you knocked on his door. You bit your lip at the sight of him wearing nothing but a towel that was slung low on his slutty ass waist.
“It's been sixty days, so I guess we need to talk,” you said, taking a deep breath as you sat down on his bed.”
“ Ok. Yeah. Let’s, um, let’s talk.”
“ First, are you sure you actually want to be with me, Buck?”
“ Yes, of course.”
“ But why? What made you change your mind? Because if it was just some type of jealousy over Aaron, then I don’t think—”
“ I wasn’t jealous of Aaron. And my feelings didn’t just come out of the blue. Of course, I was attracted to you. And I mean, the thought of settling down with someone who had even an inkling of experiences similar to my own was something I could never have imagined until you. I thought that not dating you, not dating anyone, would prevent me from having to worry about hurting anyone. But when I left you that night, I realized I was scared of getting hurt. Every person I’ve ever loved has either left or died, and I haven’t been able to find the strength to risk experiencing that pain again.
“ So why now?”
“ Because after you, I couldn’t do sex without strings anymore. Like literally, I couldn’t even get it up without thinking of you. Not just your body, either, your everything. And that sweetheart is what changed my mind.”
You were stunned because Bucky’s declaration shocked you, but what shocked you more was the realization that this was the most you’d ever heard the man say to anyone. And now, you knew, you knew he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.
Ok then, Buck, I’ve made my decision.”
“ And?”
“ I ended things with Aaron before I even came here. Because all I want is you, Buck. And if you’ll have me, then we can be something serious and—” You were cut off by Bucky pressing his lips against yours as he started laying you back onto the bed.
“ Babe, you’re still wet.”
“ Babe. I like that.”
“I’m glad,” you said with a giggle as you started pulling off your shirt.
| All I want is you |
Where’d you move the condoms to, you asked, since you couldn't see them anywhere.
“ Don’t need ‘em.”
“ Oh, really?” You said, raising your eyebrows.
“ Yup, cause all I want to feel right now is you, just you and nothing else. Is that ok?”
“ Yeah, it is, Buck, it's more than ok,” you said, beaming as Bucky pulled the shorts down his newly official girlfriend’s leg.
The End