Cerisetsu One-Shot 4
Cerise is playing video games at 3 in the morning, in her apartment. Setsu wakes up too and sternly, but not unkindly reminds them that prolonged escapism is unhealthy and that bottling up the pain isn't worth it.
(Slight self-indulgence)
"Why are you up so late?", Setsu asked Cerise, as the soldier rubbed their eyelids and glanced at the dusteisian barista with a mix of irritation and tiredness. Cerise perked up surprised and turned away from her desk, facing their partner with a surprised look. Which you could only notice by their eyes widening however briefly, as the rest of their body remained as composed, as usual. Her glasses were sitting on top of their nose and their voice was measured, yet a bit of surprise sprinkled in.
"Oh...evening, Setsu."
"Evening? 3 in the morning is more than just 'evening'.", Setsu replied, trying their hardest to remain relaxed. "You have your coffee shift at 7, and you are up playing....what are you playing?"
They moved past the broad-shouldered girl and glanced at the screen. It seemed to be some JRPG, the art style and graphics reminding Setsu of an anime of the early 2010s. Cerise smiled sheepishly.
"Oh...Yeah, this gal has been playing....Hehe...", Cerise stated with a shaking grin. Their glasses didn't even move up, this time.
"Cerise. It is 3 in the morning."
"Yes, I am aware-"
"And are you not supposed to be working on that coffee report, for the government?", Setsu asked again, crossing their lean yet toned arms with a disapproving frown. "You stated that you only have a month time, to finish the job. And yet, you have been playing this game every day or so, for hours on end."
"It...it is a perfectly healthy habit-"
"An addiction, is what it is.", Setsu pointed out bluntly, albeit not cruel. "Cerise. You need to sleep-"
"I don't want to, Setsu."
She took off her glasses and got up, her massive muscles rippling with terror and uncertainty. Yet Setsu themselves remained unperturbed.
"Why? Did you not say that this is important for you? To allow Dusteisian coffee, to be-"
"-shipped internationally, I know. But..thing is...I...I...I am tired."
She glanced away and rubbed her pink sleeve, which was tightly hugging her right shoulder.
"I...I know I need to work...I know that, Setsu. But..I am just so...tired, every single day. I...I don't want to work..If I do, I feel anxiety...fear...I panic....I will not be able to finish this...."
Glancing at the screen, Cerise watched the characters high-five each other.
"Setsu..this game...I actually feel...normal there. I have a normal life...I do not need to deal with any Gnosia or stressful long-term events...I can have..fun. I can have...a normal life. I...I am so tired, Setsu. So, so tired."
"I see....", the soldier noted and their posture relaxed slightly. "You are afraid of failing and therefore, you want to imagine being in a world where you do not need to struggle. Where you can relax. Even if that world is not real..."
Cerise winced and glanced down, as Setsu shook their head and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Sorry for being so blunt...but you need to hear it. The more you run away from this, the worse it will get."
"But...I...I...I know, but.."
"But..?"
"But..I've been working so hard for the past years! Serving coffee after coffee, sending in writing after writing...But is it enough? No! It isn't!", the barista exclaimed quietly and tightened her fist, as she faced Setsu with controlled anger. "They are never happy. The fans want me to always be perfect. Sure, they may comment to take care of my mental health, but that's just something they say to appear compassionate. But they aren't."
She glanced down bitterly.
"I...I am tired of being strong, Setsu...So tired...So.....I just want to be someone else for a while...Is that so wrong?"
She let out a frustrated sigh and sat down on the bed, the screen dimming with a different world, with none of the pain present in this messed up world. Setsu moved to Cerise and sat down next to her immediately.
"Why didn't you tell me this before? Of how you feel?"
"....because you'd leave.", Cerise eventually replied, after a short pause. "I...should in theory have stability...connection. But the people who care for me...who want to help, do not know how..They just say, get therapy and leave it at that. And eventually...if you vent too much, they'll avoid you."
"That's not-"
"It is true...even if it is subconscious.", the barista clarified and glanced on the ground. "I have this friend...who stuck by me through the worst of my life...I did open up to them and....well eventually, they stopped chatting much with me. They still write me, but only send me online posts. They do not do calls with me, either. They instead do video calls with other friends. Eventually Setsu, people will get tired of you venting..They try to help, but if they can't, you'll be on your own."
"Cerise...", Setsu stated and shook their own head. "I'm sorry....I understand that you are feeling stressed, tired and weak....You want to be heard...you want to feel content....But staying up late, ruining your own health? Is that really worth it?"
They stroked Cerise's shoulder tenderly, their expression firm but not unkind.
"It is true that people have limits. But that doesn't mean that you should completely isolate yourself from others. We need to work together. If we just followed your path of thinking, both of us would have been picked off by the Gnosia."
Cerise nodded slightly, her glasses askew, her sweat noticeable on her face and shirt, as Setsu gently pushed her onto the bed. The barista made no resist attempt.
"Rest. Face your problems, one step at a time. You are doing good...you can do this. Okay?"
"Setsu...", Cerise mumbled, their eyes twitching. No tears came out, but it was the closest thing to crying. Setsu knew that, of course. They walked over to the PC and turned the game off, saving it too. Then, they crawled onto the bed and planted a gentle kiss on Cerise's forehead.
"I'll wake you up, in the morning. For now, sleep tight."
"O...Okay...night Setsu...Thanks...", Cerise mumbled, as she felt her eyes closing. And as Setsu hugged their arm, they found themselves falling asleep too.