#cf.flaneury

[bookowlnews]

I get drunk on chard courtesy of the department, try to explain snapchat to his wife, call everyone on my committee “honey”, confide in Other Luminary that I’ve been having this dream in which a purple-faced woman calls me “pigeon hearted”

Via DANIELLE's edwardsaidruinedthenutcracker

[bookowlnews]

He knows that she considered saying “I’ve been seeing someone” but has decided against it. He is thankful for this mercy.

In the months after they broke up, he had begun watching porn regularly, even compulsively. It was satisfying to watch these scenes, never repeated in the bottomless and shifting buffet of thumbnails, yet formulaic, familiar, mannered; to view this endless fuck, dead inside, the black men fucking the latina teens dead inside, the horny cam girls dead inside, the creamy cumsluts dead inside, the hot and horny schoolgirls and their bald teachers in ill-fitting suits dead inside, the hungry, hungry girls, all of it ending and without consequence. He watched it in his room with the sound off while his flatmate was in the kitchen or in the living room; quietly, like someone else might cry in a bathroom stall. via Being Taken Seriously Despite Good Looks

[bookowlnews]

The first time they had sex, he had been so relieved when it was all over, when they could lay touching each other gently, without goals.

source: “Being Taken Seriously Despite Good Looks”

[bookowlnews]

I got a tattoo, walking without feeling anything particular out of my apartment with my hair still wet from the shower ..into the next-door piercing shop and into the next appointment, which was available. It is either impulsivity or curiosity to know what it is like to feel anything at all

edwardsaidruinedthenutcracker.tumblr.com

[bookowlnews]

I do like people, for the most part, but none of them can hurt me at all and I know this in advance. In this way, I feel at times that I am dealing in fiat currency, that I am being unfair. When I joke that I am a sociopath, this is what I mean. I was intensely happy with Alex and felt almost nothing when I broke up with him, which I knew I would do from the very beginning.

edwardsaidruinedthenutcracker.tumblr.com, Danielle

[bookowlnews]

I will live there, and my god, I love him. And I can’t begin to explain it, but I have a screaming, intense and recurring happiness, and I don’t scrape the bottom of it no matter how many times I scoop out more joy. And for maybe the first time in my life, I feel completely unafraid.

Danielle, edwardsaidruinedthenutcracker.tumblr.com

[bookowlnews]

I’ll mention something about my former life incidentally, and they’ll say the equivalent of “woah, rewind, you spent an entire summer’s worth of weekends ..with people getting demons cast out of them while coughing through sawdust?!” and I’ll think, Oh my god, why did I never realize that was weird before because sincerely, actually now that I think about it, yes, that is *profoundly* fucking weird.

Danielle, edwardsaidruinedthenutcracker.tumblr.com

[bookowlnews]

falling in love instantly with an egg carton of strangers a day, but retain a weakness for a well made coat. I hated yours. You were not tall, but tall men scare me. You had the most beautiful face that I had ever seen.

Before the instant was over, I was crushed, the juice running out of me like a blood orange. Do you remember, how it felt– that slap in the brain, behind the eyes by that heady, citrus scent? I wanted to lie down in a dim room, alone. Yet I don’t know which moment love is the name of: is it the stark shock of the the recognizing the very and specific face of your beloved? or is it looking away, instantly flushed and panting, walking quickly away with another man, to whom you have already said love too soon, emitting an intense yet noiseless tea kettle shriek? There should have been a yellow fire extinguisher within easy reach behind a thin pane of protective glass. (As the moment continued, I felt the unbearable sensation of knowing exactly how precious the world is.) - DANIELLE, edwardsaidruinedthenutcracker