Little!Remus Teen!Virgil
Request by: Gothfoxx - Remus looses his stuffed animal and asks Virgil to help him find it. - Yeah...this one gets a little dark. Sorry. Not sure why a prompt about a missing toy made me want to add an angsty teenage Virgil. But I started writing and this is what came out. I’m actually not that sorry. I love this fic, and I don’t even know why. It’s not even that...good.😅
Notes:⚠️ Warning: ⚠️ Angst, some curse words, Anxiety attacks mentioned, lots of crying, possible trauma, past mistakes mentioned, a lot of self deprecating thoughts, teenage angst, passive aggressive Janus, Janus threatens something...not very nice (but makes up for it.) unsupervised regressors, fears of abandonment, fear of death, actual abandonment, darkness, monsters, and blood is also mentioned. Point is, I Torture Virgil a lot on this one. But... cuddles? 😅
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Virgil wasn’t always great with kids. He had to be an adult and in his special caregiver mode to even try to handle being around the littles. He wasn’t bad with them outside of it. There was just something about that mindset to make Virgil care. He wasn’t sure what it was but it was...something.
Ughh. That’s so vague.
Virgil was currently stuck in a teen headspace. It’s just like regressing but to the mindset of a teenager. When in this mindset he had no interest in the littles or the caregivers. He had nothing against them but he just couldn’t stand the way caregivers would try to get him involved in stuff and watch over him like he wasn’t capable of doing anything himself. Or the way the littles were needy and affectionate. Luckily being in teen space was easy enough to hide. He just needed to listen to music and ignore everyone. That’s like one of his favorite things to do anyway.
He was just chilling on the couch listening to Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz. A personal favorite of his when in this state of mind when he heard a small: “Pssst.”
Virgil slowly took out an earpiece.
“Pssst, Virgil.”
Virgil looked around.
“Down here.”
Virgil looked behind the couch to see Remus. Obviously in a little headspace.
“What are you doing?” Virgil asked. Damn, he hoped that didn’t sound too mean.
“I have a very important mission. And I need your help.”
“What? What are you talking about?”he asked.
“I need to know if I can trust you.”
“You know you can’t,”he scoffs.
“Good enough for me, will you help?”
“I don’t know, you haven’t even told me what you-“
“Meet me in my room in two minutes!”he demands. “But be careful, my friend; For my sanity is currently resting in your hands,”he says before running away.
“Didn’t know you had any!”He shouted.
Now Virgil has two options here. He could:
A) Hide in his room until this mindset goes away and apologize to Remus later for being an ass.
Or
B) Pull himself together for two seconds and help Remus with...whatever it was.
He supposed he could’ve left to find a caregiver, but he didn’t want to have to explain why he couldn’t do this himself.
Remus wasn’t the worst when little. He wasn’t incredibly needy or affectionate so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Besides, he kinda owes him after leaving the dark sides and cursing him and Janus’s mere existence all these years later. He wasn’t still mad about that, right? ~~~~Later in Remus’s room~~~~
“I’ve brought you here today to help me with a super secret assignment. One of my dear friends is missing, I need your help to find him.”
“How old are you right now, Remus?”Virgil asked.
“Eight, how old are you?”
“Not important,”Virgil mumbled as he tried to hide his face under the hood of his jacket.
“He is very important to me, Virgil. I can’t sleep without him, and it’s almost naptime!”He gasped dramatically.
“You asked me over here, on a super secret mission to find a stuffed animal?”
“Lucifer isn’t just any stuffed animal! He’s the best most important stuffed animal ever to walk the planet!”
Virgil hesitates. “Stuffed animals can’t walk...”
“Fine, swim the planet then,”Remus rolled his eyes.
“What?”the teen asked.
“Lucifer is a dolphin!”Remus explained happily.
“You named your...never mind.”
“So you’ll help me?”
“Maybe you should ask Roman.”Virgil suggests.
“No!''He whines, pulling on Virgil's sleeve, “I want you to help me. You’re the vigilant!”
“That makes no sense.”
“Please?”
Virgil sighed, what would be worse, telling a caregiver that he was regressed or helping Remus find a stuffed animal?
“Alright. Where did you last see him?”Virgil asked.
Remus grabs Virgil's hand and leads him down the hall to a black door.
“He’s in there?”Virgil asked, standing right outside Remus’s mindscape.
Remus nods, “that’s where I saw’d him the last time.”
Virgil started to get nervous, “are you absolutely possessive you don’t want to just go find Roman?” He asked again, hoping Remus would just change his mind.
Remus nodded, “I’m sure.”
Virgil sighed, he needed to be the adult here. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”
Remus squealed In excitement. “Here we go!”
They went inside where it was all dark. Virgil was scared but refused to show it. Especially in front of Remus. He had to be an adult...even if he wasn’t one.
“Okay, so where would you have gone? Try retracing your steps.”
Remus nodded and walked further and further into the dark abyss.
“Wait!”Virgil shouts, “what if we get lost in here? Everything looks the same.”
“Don’t worry,”Remus says, “I know this place like the back of my rear.”
Virgil shook his head, “I don’t want to know.”
They had been looking for about twenty minutes when Virgil suddenly realized that Remus was nowhere to be seen. “Remus?”He asked. “Where are you?”
Suddenly he heard moaning and groaning behind him. He turned around and nothing was there. He sighed in relief, but then He turned back and he was suddenly attacked by a bunch of zombies.
Virgil froze, he was going to die in here.
Suddenly Remus came back and watched them terrorize Virgil. “Don’t worry, Vee! They only want to eat you!”
“Why would that make me feel better?!”Virgil shouted, tears in his eyes. “Just make them go away, please!”he begged.
“Ok ok,”He says rolling his eyes, he snapped the zombies away and Virgil didn’t get off the ground.
“You oki, vergie?”Remus asked, crouching down to him.
Virgil took a deep breath. He can’t have an attack, not now. He tried to pull himself together. “No, Remus. I’m sorry, but I’m- I’m freaking out, this place is...” ‘don’t curse, he’s a child, don’t curse, he’s a child.’ “Heck! We need to just- get out of here.”
“But we haven’t found Lucifer yet. They were just zombies.”
“Just?! Remus, this place is incredibly dangerous, I never should’ve come in here!”
“Yeah, I know,”he shrugged like it was nothing.
“You know?”Virgil asked.
“I mean, it’s always like this. It s’pose to be scary.”
“Remus, why? Why would you do that? Why would you ask me to help you, knowing full well it would be this bad?!”He yelled, “why didn’t you just get Roman like I asked you to?! Do you really hate me that much?!”
Remus didn’t answer right away, he sighed sadly, looking down, then at Virgil and then looked down again, “I don’ hate you, Vee...Is jus’ cuz...I miss you.”
Virgil has never felt worse of a person. “Remus-“
Remus ran away into the darkness before Virgil could say anything else.
“Remus, wait! Please I don’t...”
Virgil tried to run after him but lost his way.
Remus was gone...
“I don’t know how to get out of here...”Virgil says despite knowing Remus couldn’t hear him.
Virgil wandered the hell that was this mindscape until he finally found that stupid dolphin next to a blood soaked coffin. Virgil cried again, and this time it wasn’t because he was scared. Because he’d failed Remus...again. He was supposed to protect him, he was supposed to be his friend! Virgil held the stuffed animal in his arms, and despite being much too mature for it, Virgil hugged it tightly.
Virgil still hated himself and believed he deserved to be here. He was abandoned. Just like Virgil abandoned Remus.
Virgil has been walking through countless rooms full of intrusive horrors. Over and over. He panicked and ran for his life. Until finally it stopped. An overwhelming silence rushed over him in a dark nothingness. Virgil started to cry again when lo and behold. There it was.
The door.
~~~~Later~~~~
He found his way out of the mindscape at last. He flew the door open and was so relieved to see he was back home. He was exhausted, and overwhelmed with anxiety but still thought deep down he deserved this feeling.
He didn’t deserve love, He didn’t deserve to be home.
Why couldn’t he just do this one thing for Remus? This could’ve been his only chance to fix what he did.
To be his friend again...
But he didn’t deserve that chance. He didn’t deserve forgiveness.
He almost made it back to his own room when he ran into Roman. “Virgil, oh my gosh. Are you alright? What happened to you?”
Virgil rubbed his face and nodded, “have you seen Remus?”
“Oh. He’s with Janus. That doesn’t answer my question, Verge. What’s going on?”
“Remus was looking for this,”he held up Lucifer, Roman only humming in response. “He took me to his mindscape and I couldn’t find the way out.”
“Virgil...”Roman asks, “how old are you right now?”
Virgil sighs, pulling up the hood of his jacket.
“Virgil?”Roman asked, stricter this time.
“Fourteen...”Virgil mumbled.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because I don’t need a caregiver.” He says, “at least...I didn’t think I did,”tears started to pour down his face and he hated himself more, if that were even possible.
Roman wrapped his arms around him. “It’s alright, emo. It’ll be ok.”
Virgil nodded and gently pulled away. Not because he didn’t enjoy it, but because he didn’t deserve it. “Thanks.”
“So, just to get this gay. Remus asked you to help him find something in a dangerous mindscape and left you there?”Roman sounded angry, like he was about to go find Remus but Virgil stopped him: “It’s not his fault, I yelled at him.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“I’m sorry! I’s...My fight or flight instincts just took over I guess, and...you know I’m not a fan of other people’s mindscapes, they’re too...unpredictable.”
“Especially Remus’s,”Roman nods.
Virgil nods too. He took a deep breath. “I need to apologize. Did you say he was with Janus?”
Roman nodded, “unfortunately, Janus is not going to like this. Do you want me to come with you? I can talk to him so you can talk to Remus alone.”
Virgil shrugged, “I don’t know. I think- I deserve what I get.”
“Virgil-“
“I left them, Roman. How do I come back from that?”He asked. “I fucked everything up- and don’t you dare tell me I didn’t!”
“Let me come with you, Virgil.” Roman asks, “please?”
Virgil nods, “alright. Fine.”
They walk over to Janus’ room and knock on the door. “Yes?”he answers.
“Can I talk to Remus?”Virgil asks.
“I don’t know...can you?”
Virgil did everything he could to not roll his eyes, “I’m here to apologize.”
Janus looks behind him, “well...alright. But if you hurt him again, I will suppress you for two weeks.”
“That’s fair,”Virgil says, biting his nails anxiously.
Roman disagreed but didn’t intervene yet.
Virgil walked in and over to Remus who turned his back on him.
He hands Remus Lucifer, and Remus snatches the dolphin and snuggles with it.
“I came to say I’m sorry.”Virgil says, “for what I said, for being so irresponsible, for treating you the way I have all these years...and mostly for leaving you two.”
Remus didn’t answer but Janus at least looked at him.
Tears started to make their way out. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I should be suppressed or locked away, it’s what I deserve. But I hope maybe one day you could maybe find a way to...”
Remus didn’t say anything, didn’t face him either.
Virgil nodded, “ok.” The tears are getting worse.
“Did you tell Virgil thank you for finding Lucifer?”Janus asked. He didn’t really look like he was in a forgiving mood either. Virgil just wanted to lock himself up in his room until the sun went away.
he didn’t deserve anything better.
Remus shook his head but before he could say anything Virgil interrupts, “he doesn’t have to. I should probably go.”
Roman offered Virgil a sympathetic smile as the teen walked closer to him.
“Vee?”Remus called.
“Yeah?”Virgil turned around.
Remus threw the dolphin across the room and ran to hug Virgil, “I’m so sorry I left you, Vee. Please be my friend again.”
Now Virgil was crying openly, holding onto Remus like he was never going to let him go.
~~~~Afterwards~~~~
Roman and Janus had a long conversation with Remus about taking people into any mindscape when either party is in any sort of age regression. Then they had a conversation with Virgil about what he was going through, the self-deprecating thoughts, the issues regarding Remus and Janus that still reside within him, and then the scary things that happened in the mindscape.
Janus reassured Virgil that all was forgiven, and that he was truly loved by every single side there, and that he didn’t deserve to be punished or feel guilty for living a better life if it made him happy. They hugged for about two minutes before Virgil realized it was too long. Then went ahead and hugged Roman too for good measure.
Janus and Roman then made both regressors some hot chocolate. Remus and Virgil then decide to spend the rest of the night together. They had some lost time to make up for.
They watched Steven universe in a blanket fort Virgil and Remus made together. (Mostly Virgil though) Virgil finally felt safe, he felt loved. And Remus made him feel like he was actually someone worth loving. Maybe the littles and caregivers weren’t so bad after all.
“Vee?”Remus asked.
“Yeah?”
“Do you love me?”He asked.
Virgil smiled, “I mean, yeah. Of course, Rem. Why?”
“Let’s fuse!”Remus shouts.
“Remus, what?!”Remus jumps while still inside the fort causing it to collapse on them both.
“Oops. Sorry.”
Virgil sighed, “it’s fine.” Virgil unfortunately had to explain to Remus that sides can’t fuse. But Roman encouraged the two of them to design a fictional fusion.
So Virgil got out a blank piece of paper and drew an outline for Remus to color it in with purple and green. It actually didn’t look half bad for an eight year old.
They were now ‘intruxity.’ No one can stop them now!
Except of course the caregivers who told them they had to put away their stuff and go to bed.Never underestimate the amazing power of the caregivers.
Notes: Teen!Virgil with little!Remus was surprisingly so fun to write! I’d like to write these two again. If anyone has any more requests with Virgil and Remus, I’d be more than willing. Maybe Virgil will be more...nurturing next time? Like an actual caregiver? Or maybe we’ll go even angstier? If that’s possible. Who knows. 😅 hopefully you liked it. Anyway I’m going to get back in my own fort and watch Steven universe. Byeeeeee!
