#ch jack

[textsfromthefahc]

Jeremy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6-ZGAGcJrk Jeremy: It’s time.

Ray: Fuck yeah it is Ray: You wanna get pumpkin masks for our next heist?

Jeremy: Absolutely.

Geoff: ITS THE MIDDLE OF JULY

Ray: C’mon Geoff, where’s your holiday spirit?

Jeremy: Embrace the spooky, boss.

Ryan: I will permit usage of my decorations and tools for this.

Ray: Nice Ray: We need to get you a skeleton suit to go with the mask

Jeremy: Absolutely!

Jack: …why is the entire penthouse orange and purple. Jack: Halloween colors are supposed to be orange and /black/ guys.

Ray: Team Purple Menace, duh Ray: You’re welcome

Jeremy: Jack. Please. When have we ever done things by the book.

Ray: He’s got a point

Ryan: God, my eyes.

Jeremy: I thought you’d be into this sort of thing.

[textsfromthefahc]

Ryan: Would anyone like to Netflix and Chill? Ryan: Is that how you use that term?

Jeremy: …Ryan, you know what that means, right? Jeremy: Because I absolutely want to say yes but I’m. Just checking.

Ryan: It’s in the name. Ryan: Chill while watching Netflix Ryan: Does it mean something else?

Jeremy: Oh. Oh Ryan. You sweet summer child.

Ryan: Never call me a child again. Ryan: Do you want to or not?

Jeremy: Yes. Yes I do. And then I’m going to explain to you what Netflix and Chill really means. Jeremy: And then we are going to actually Netflix and Chill.

Ray: You’re such a dad, jesus christ.

Gavin: It’s sort of endearing how bloody oblivious he is, isn’t it?

Ryan: Well then maybe you two won’t be invited to Netflix and Chill!

Ray: I never said it was a bad thing, dude

Gavin: Ryan no!

Jack: Not invited to Netflix and Chill or “Netflix and Chill”, Ryan? Jack: It’s an important distinction before I make fun of you.

Ryan: I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND THE DISTINCTION.

Jeremy: I got this, guys. I’m gonna teach him the ways.

Ryan: Why do I feel vaguely threatened?

Jeremy: No, Ry. It’s a good promise.

[textsfromthefahc]

Jack: Jeremy, I got an idea!

Jeremy: You have my full attention~

Jack: Come meet me in the garage, you’re gonna love this.

Jeremy: On my way.

Jack: Alright guys, quick now. Gavin, you’re in charge at the homefront.

Michael: Alright, I have him cuffed by one hand in the back of the AH mobile.

Jeremy: OKAY WHAT THE FUCK Jeremy: WHY THE FUCK AM I IN THE TRUNK OF A CAR

Jack: Alright, guys, it’s time. Operation Fashion Disaster is a go.

Gavin: Just tell me what you need me to do!

Jack: Gavin, you figure out his closet. Burn it again if you must. Jack: Michael, we’re taking Lil J shopping.

Jeremy: JACK YOU’VE BETRAYED ME! I THOUGHT WE HAD A FASHION FRIENDSHIP!

Jack: There’s nothing wrong with black and brown leather!

Geoff: Young love.. I remember the days…

Jack: Careful, or your tux might end up Suddenly Pink.

Michael: Sorry Lil J, you’re an eyesore.

Geoff: That tux is worth more than your life you tiny miscreant!

Jack: Ugh. Geoff. Just go direct Gavin as he sorts out this mess. Or something. Jack: Jeremy, this is an intervention. We took a vote. Makeover time.

Jeremy: I am an unwilling participant. But fine. I better come back looking like a God.

Geoff: God of dwarves maybe >:{D

Jeremy: Love you too, Geoff.

The Jeremy Fashion Makeover Saga - Part 2 (1)

[textsfromthefahc]

Jack: How’s the homefront looking, Gav?

Gavin: Bloody boring. You lot should have taken me with you.

Jack: But I don’t trust anyone else to have a lick of fashion sense D:

Gavin: Have you SEEN some of the atrocities in here Jack Gavin: My SOUL hurts

Jeremy: I can still read this, you know.

Jack: You’ve gotta be strong now, Gav. For all of us. Jack: I believe in you.

Gavin: I’ve made it into the inner wardrobe….everything's orange and purple...I feel weak Gavin: Light….fading Gavin: fabrics….irritating and gaudy Gavin: I may not make it out alive

Jack: Geoff can you check on him? Feel free to send me pics of his suffering.

Geoff: On it mom. Geoff: Jesus this is an inordinately large wardrobe! Geoff: How is it ALL orange and purple!

Jeremy: Fuck you all. It’s my image!

Michael: Didn’t anybody warn you not to get too attached to your image when you started doing criminal work?

Gavin: I've been murdered by your lack of fashion sense.

Jeremy: Look you all have your things. Let me have mine!

Jack: Oh, we will let you have yours. On heists. When it’s appropriate. Jack: I will not have my eyes bleeding on off-hours, too! At least I know to mix it up.

Jeremy: ...Fine.

The Jeremy Fashion Makeover Saga - Part 3 (1) (2)

[textsfromthefahc]

Jeremy: SUGAR Jeremy: OH HONEY HONEY

Gavin: YOU ARE MY CANDY GIIIIIRL

Ray: AND YOU GOT ME WANTING YOU

Jack: HONEY, AH SUGAR SUGAR

Ray: YOU’RE MY CANDY GIIIIRL

Gavin: AND YOU GOT ME WANTING YOOOOOU!

Jeremy: I’m really glad this also works in text form.

[textsfromthefahc]

Gavin: Geoff is there room for a new room to be added to the penthouse?

Jack: ...that doesn’t seem architecturally sound. Unless you want to half one of the bigger rooms?

Gavin: No I want a whole new room Jack.

Jack: What. That’s not. That’s not how physics work. Jack: Ryan, back me up here.

Geoff: Gavin you’re spoiled enough what could you possibly need an extra room for.

Ryan: We can’t just add an entirely new room. Where would it go?

Jack: See! That’s what I’m talking about. Jack: Thanks Rye <3

Ryan: I’m always open to telling Gavin he’s wrong.

Gavin: It could go off the north end! Structurally, there's enough support to add a small room. Also, rude Ryan.

Jack: Add it where. On the balcony?

Ryan: Why do you even want a new room?

Gavin: I want to make a panic room!

Geoff: Why do we need a new room to panic in!

Gavin: No not a room to panic in, a Panic Room Geoff.

Geoff: Sounds like a waste of time and money to me Gavvers.

Ryan: I agree. What’s the point?

Gavin: The point is to have a room in which to panic, clearly

Geoff: You just said that wasn’t what it was!

Gavin: No no, Geoff. It's not a room to panic in, but a room in which to panic. There's a difference.

Geoff: What the fuck are you on about!

Gavin: How do you bloody well not know what a panic room is?!?

Geoff: Do you see what you’re saying! How do you ‘bloody well’ not know how to speak your own language fucknuts!

[textsfromthefahc]

Jeremy: I do not approve of this.

Jack: But Lil J! You look amazing :D Jack: [sends file_attached:img051120174]

Michael: He’s being a whiny bitch about his hat. Michael: We may have to let him keep it, guys.

Jack: The hat is the least offensive item he owns Jack: I say let him fight to keep it so he feels accomplished and we get rid of the atrocious rest.

Jeremy: I feel weird. This is weird. Jeremy: Also the hat is special. Don’t diss the hat.

Jack: I’m not dissing the hat, I’m dissing everything else.

Jeremy: Look I feel ridiculous. Do I have to try all of this on?

Jack: Yes.

Jeremy: ...Fine.

Jack: I don’t know why you’re complaining. This suits you. Jack: [sends file_attached:img051120175]

Jeremy: ...Does it really?

Geoff: Lookin sharp J

Ray: Seconded. Looks great

Jeremy: Thanks. I don't feel as bad now… not that I don't trust Jack.

Jack: Could have fooled me :-P

The Jeremy Fashion Makeover Saga - Part 4 (Fin!) (1) (2) (3)

[textsfromthefahc]

Michael: Okay. Cut the shit. Michael: You all know we can see what everyone’s playing on Steam, right? I get a notification every time one of you opens the fucking game. Michael: So which Daddies did you choose.

Ray: #yolo Ray: Robert and Mat

Ryan: Hugo.

Jack: Only Craig so far, but goshdarn that Damien guy is cute. Jack: Also, anyone else notice that Hugo sounds kinda like our Ray?

Michael: I knew I wasn’t going crazy!

Jeremy: I totally macked on Brian. No shame.

Ray: ...Really? Ray: Not gonna lie I’ve paid zero attention to Hugo so far

Jack: Yeah! No wonder Ryan went for him first :-P

Ryan: He’s an intellectual! My next choice would be Damien.

Michael: Well, I went for Rob and then Craig on my second playthrough.

Geoff: This is dumb, who makes this stupid shit! Geoff: …. Geoff: Robert.

Jeremy: Of course, Geoff. And I like Brian! He's sweet.

Jack: No one went for Mr. Married Whitebread huh.

Ryan: I didn’t trust him. And his kids are freaky.

Jeremy: I mean, eventually. He just wasn't my first pick.

Jack: ...I feel you. #needthatachievement

Gavin: I uh. I already got him. And Brian.

Michael: I feel like this probably says something about us. Michael: But it was just a really fucking good game, so I don’t care.

Gavin: I just wanted him to not have to worry about losing his baby all the time Michael!

Jack: Somehow, I feel like you’d be the most likely to lose a baby irl, Gav.

Gavin: Jack! No! I've never lost a baby in my life!