Apr 19
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water of the womb
Pairing: John Marston x gn!reader
Summary: Jack is recovered in St. Denis. With the boy back in one piece John has to reckon with what fatherhood really means.
Warnings: Too much dialogue, daddy issues/fatherhood issues, references to violence, mild angst, kidnapping (+resolution), canon-typical violence/references to violence
Word count: 1,489
A/N: We're so back 😤
Series masterlist • AO3
—
John, Arthur, and Dutch are all in St. Denis chasing the hope that a stolen little boy is still alive.
Part of you wishes you’d gone with, but the better part knows it’s not your place. You’ve tried time and again to comfort Arthur and console Abigail and convince John that things will end up alright, somehow. Always stumbling on in spite of their upset. Always coming up with the wrong words. Times like these it feels like there’s hardly a right word to find. Sorry isn’t enough, and neither is some empty platitude, though you’ve tried plenty of both.
Jack is their son. It’s tough to be that scared.
The whole of camp has been walking on eggshells lest Abigail’s fearful wrath unleash itself upon them. She’s hardly spoken a soft word since her boy’s been missing, eyes balefire blue and scorching. No one can do right, and anyone sitting around not searching is to blame even though Dutch promised that he and both of Jack’s mismatch fathers would leave no smokestack city stone unturned. They’ve been gone since first light. Golden sunshine tells you it’s well past noon now.
The law, at least, hasn’t caught up to you here at Shady Belle. That’s about all that recommends it; it’s not much of a manor house anymore, and the heat and the damp are worse in the heart of the bayou, and the alligators are far too close for comfort. It is good sport feeding them all the unfortunate souls that get in your way, though. Since John and Arthur threw those squatters off the dock they’ve been sitting in the depths, waiting. Watching. Now they’re content to eye your lure lazily as it spins through the murky swamp water in search of bass. Maybe some ambitious perch. A distraction.
Normally fishing relaxes you, or at least takes your mind off things. Today you’re wound tighter than your reel and feel like an old length of line that might snap at any moment. There’s that familiar itch you get right before a big robbery where you feel like you’ll crawl out of your own skin. The only way to curb it is reckless abandon, but that’s the last thing anyone needs right now. So here you are. On the dock. Fishing. Entertaining the alligators. Hours have gone by now without a single bite.
“You’re using the wrong bait,” a familiar voice calls from the end of the dock. Hosea. You don’t turn to greet him.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. Should try live bait if you’re after those bass I’ve seen swimmin’ around.” His steps creak along the crooked dock as he settles to stand beside you.
“You don’t think the gators will like those a little too much?”
He laughs quietly and puts a hand on your shoulder. The sticky afternoon silences. “If you manage to reel a gator in with a worm I really will have seen it all.”
You lean subconsciously into the touch and sigh out a laugh yourself. When the last of the line is reeled in you hook your lure and lean your pole against the dock by the empty fish pail and finally turn to face Hosea. The fine wrinkles of his weathered face have deepened with bad health and worry over these past few months. He looks about the way you feel.
“They’ll find Jack, won’t they?” you ask. No point pretending it’s not what’s on everyone’s mind. The crying orphan locked in your chest can’t bear to think of the alternative, but the hard, crooked adult you’ve become says there’s no way he’s alive. Things don’t just work out nice for people like you. Not after all that’s been done.
“I have to believe they will,” Hosea says. “One way or another.”
You duck your head. “I guess that’s what I’m afraid of.”
He shakes his and lets his eyes wander over the swaying reeds and the dancing dragonflies and the dark water and the look on your face. “Bessie and I never had kids. Being a parent in a world like ours always seemed like too much to lose, and I’ve been on the run now longer than you’ve been alive.” You snort a little at his old man sentimentality and he continues, “But if something ever happened to you or Arthur or John, my heart would break like a parent’s, I think. Right now, with that little boy gone, it’s breaking.”
“Hosea…”
“Jack’s a good kid. It’s been good, seeing him smile. Seeing all of you smile. Maybe it’s selfish of me not to want to see that all go away, I don’t know.”
“He is a good kid. I worry for…” You pause, uncertain, and when Hosea lifts his eyes to meet yours you know he sees what lies there unsaid. You’re worried for Jack—for all of them—but you can’t lose John. Not now. Not after you’ve only just got him. Maybe you’re selfish, too. “I guess I’m just worried,” you finish lamely.
He smiles sadly in understanding. Shady Belle stands vigil, waiting. The afternoon drags on.
—
You’re sitting on the porch with Abigail watching heat lightning flash among purple clouds in the just-dark sky when Jack rides in at the front of John’s saddle, grinning from ear to ear.
Alive. He’s alive.
Dutch calls Abigail’s name. “We got you your son!”
It’s an overlapping chorus of Jack! and he’s fine and we got him and you’re alright, darlin’ and Jack’s joyful reassurance that he’s been fed just fine - Italian food. The evening is sticky and hot; Arthur, John, and Dutch are covered in sweat. So are their horses. Abigail doesn’t feel it at all as she drops to her knees and scoops that little boy into her arms the first chance she gets.
“Come here, you silly boy!”
“Momma you’re squeezing too tight!” he protests, but she hardly hears him, unburying her boy with each squeeze of his very much alive body.
“You found him.” Her laugh lies just on the edge of hysterical tears. “Dutch, Arthur, thank you. Thank you.”
John stands there stiffly. She doesn’t even glance his way.
It’s not long before Jack gets swept up in the welcome committee’s warm embrace as the entire gang makes its way to the campfire and Pearson starts doling out drinks. Dutch walks off to speak with Hosea about whatever it is Bronte must have said or offered with the commandment to both Arthur and John to be with their family. Arthur makes for Abigail right away, arm around her shoulders and soft smile on his face. John looks wistfully toward Jack once more. Then he finds you.
You open your arms and he buries himself in your shoulder, slumping with exhaustion and breathing deep.
“Wasn’t sure you boys would be back so soon,” you say as he steps back somewhat reluctantly. Jack’s sweet laughter rings out over the sound of singing.
“Wasn’t sure we’d be bringin’ back good news.” His mouth twists, unresolved anger and sick relief. His words from weeks ago still echo in your head. Like a son. Tough to be that scared.
“He seems fine, anyway. How are you?”
“I’m—” He runs a hand over his face and sighs. When he finally raises his head to meet your gaze his eyes are stormy and sad. For someone so young he suddenly looks very, very old. “I been been awful to ‘em, Ghost. Real awful.”
“I know.”
“Arthur is more father to that boy than I ever been.”
“Maybe.”
He puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head, eyes narrowed. “Ain’t you chatty.”
You shake your head. “It ain’t my place, but I guess I’m trying to say there’s still time. Jack is young. You been a sorry father so far but you haven’t tried to be any better, either.”
“So it’s as easy as trying?”
“It could be.”
He’s always been too stubborn for his own good so you leave it at that, standing on the edge of the celebration while everyone you know sings and laughs and makes merry. Jack sits in the dirt drawing nonsense with sticks while Abigail and Arthur stand watchfully over him. John keeps glancing over thoughtfully, mulling over your words and his feelings.
John steps away to grab drinks and you watch Hosea across the campfire, eyes shining with tears and relief as he laughs through the lyrics of whatever next song Javier has started to play. Ángel de amor, tu pasión no la comprendo… Si la comprendo, no la puedo expresar… The sound is family. Home. It makes you think that sometimes things do work out nice for people like you, even if it’s just for a moment.
This moment - molten campfire glow, nighttime chorus, stumble-drunk steps - paid for in blood and gold. Hearing Jack’s laugh, seeing Hosea’s eyes shine, watching John whisper fatherhood promises to Abigail, you think it was worth the cost.
he's so handsome and yet three panels later you'll see him sucking out eyeballs of all kinds like his life depends on it (we love him for that)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
It’s been 2 months since Tommy disappeared just days after his father destroyed downtown Starling City with the Markov device. Two months of Felicity and Oliver not knowing where their best friend has been, or what has become of him since being healed by water from the Lazarus Pit. After everything they’ve been through together, are they strong enough to survive what comes next?
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FFTH Update:
Falling for the Holidays Chapter 26
Series Masterlist
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[Translation] Sekaiichi Hatsukoi Chapter 26
hey. I would just like to preface that while I am uploading these translations to read, I do not appreciate reposts of either my translations or the scan group’s scanlation without permission. Scan credits to @DC同萌绘汉化网!
**Please do not use my translations without permission!**
Link to chapter (DO NOT REPOST):
http://www.weibo.com/2659785473/F0I53kymo?from=page_1005052659785473_profile&wvr=6&mod=weibotime&type=comment
P1
Not doing the cover page
P2
R: !? Nao!?
N: Good work today!
R: Eh? Your photography trip has already ended?
N: Well, at least one place has.
N: I’m sorry for not contacting you earlier, but could I stay over at your place for a night?
R: Eh?
N: Sorry, sorry, I got the date wrong. I can only move into the place I’m renting tomorrow.
P3
N: Man, this place is even worse than before!
R: It-It’s your own wrong impression!
N: Sure, sure.
R: What do we do about dinner? I don’t have anything in my fridge.
N: I knew it would be like that!
N: Ah, beef with rice is surely the best!
N: It’s so nice! I haven’t had it in a while.
R: I haven’t had yatsuhashi in a while either.
R: How is Kyoto?
P4
N: As usual, but there were a lot of tourists!
R: That’s so nice, I want to go there too…
N: What is it?
R: No, it’s nothing.
R: Ah, if you don’t mind, could you show me the photos you took?
N: Oh!
R: Wow, they’re so pretty! You’re really good at taking photos!
N: After all, I do do this for a living.
N: They’re great, right?
R: Yeah!
P5
R: Eh?
R: Wait, wait, this photo!
N: Doesn’t that photo have a bit of artistic sense to it? (haha)
R: (ritsu screaming as usual) Don’t say it!!
R: (screaming again) This is…!
N: Sure brings you back, huh? When I was organizing my photos a few days ago, I found a lot of old ones!
N: Ah, this one! Do you still remember it? It’s the first photo I took of you!
R: Eh?
N: You were pretty different back then.
P6
R: Eh...ah...really?
N: Yep, yep. You gave off a really bad vibe to others!
R: Ah…
N: No matter what we said to you, we were always ignored. Kinda made us want to scream “What’s wrong with this guy?”
R: (screaming) Let's not talk about that past history!
N: Although, you seem to have become more open, that’s great.
R: Eh? ...Ah. Um.
R: Do you want some coffee?
N: Oh, yes, please!
R: Alright then.
P7
N: I have a meeting for my photo album at Marukawa tomorrow, do you want to go there together?
R: Ah, sure!
R: I’m really looking forward to seeing your photo album!
N: Oh, thanks!
N: ...Anyway,
R: Hmm?
N: Is “Saga-senpai” your boss?
R: (pours too much coffee)
P8
N: The coffee’s going to be really bitter.
R: Eh? Ah, AAHHHH (screaming)
N: Sorry
R: You still haven’t changed your way of being able to see through everything, huh.
R: No, I should say, um, with regards to this, I-
N: Ah, then it really is so?
R: ………………Yeah...
P9
N: Well, it is a small world after all,
N: Since your interests were the same, it’s not impossible that you’d be colleagues in the same profession.
N: But why are you two neighbours?
R: Even if you asked me, I wouldn’t know.
R: In the year I’ve been here, I had no idea he was my neighbour.
N: Eh? But you’re in the same company.
R: No, I found out after I transferred to Marukawa.
N: ...Huh...
R: A-anyways! What about you, Nao? How are you doing?
P10
N: What do you mean?
R: You know! A girlfriend? Marriage?
R: Weren’t you very popular from the beginning?
N: Well, I had a girlfriend a while back, but I’m single now.
N: This job creates a lot of distance, and I’d always prioritise my work.
R: Ah-
N: Marriage as well, it’s hard to settle down-
N: Ah, but
N: I do have someone I like.
P11
R: Ah, it’s like that.
N: Anyway, who knows what it will be like?
R: That’s really unexpected, I thought you would be the type to be direct.
N: Who do you think I am
N: Anyway, it doesn’t matter. They’re too obtuse.
R: Obtuse?
N: Yep, they’re very straightforward, very warm but blunt and particularly stubborn.
N: Of course, they’re also a little troublesome
R: Oi, is that person okay?
P12
R: Even though I think you can handle it, but don’t go associating with weird people!
N: Hah, you’re really interesting!
R: Eh? What?
N: You haven’t changed at all, I’m relieved!
R: Eh? Eh? What?
P13
N: ...You’re...really obtuse, huh.
P14
N: After the meeting, I’ll be going back to get my luggage and going over to my place. When I leave I’ll help you clean up!
R: You’re such a help…
N: I’ll leave your keys in the mailbox, do you want me to get food as well?
R: Nao... you’re so nice…
R: Ah, can you get me a beverage then?
N: Sure, sure, but you have to eat properly-
P15
R: Ah.
R: G-good morning…
T: Morning.
N: Good morning, Saga-san.
T: I’m Takano.
R: Saga…
N: See you later then, Ritsu. I’ll contact you after I leave.
R: Ah! Nao, hey!
P16
R: ...Ah
R: ……
T: Why was that guy with you?
R: Ah, um after his photo trip, he stayed at my place.
R: And today, he had a meeting so we-
R: Woah!
P17
R: Wait!
R: What are you doing!
T: I’m serious, don’t do that anymore.
R: Hah? Do what?
T: Don’t let others besides me stay overnight at your place.
R: Huh? But because he’s a friend, it’s normal.
T: That’s why I’m saying you’re so obtuse!
P18
T: You-do like me, don’t you?
P19
R: Ah?
T: So, don’t let other men get close to you so easily.
R: Oi, wait wait.
T: Because you’re always daydreaming, so you’re an easy target.
R: Now just wait a minute!
R: That’s rude!
R: Nao has been a really good friend since the start of high school!
T: Idiot
T: Because of this, your “young master” attitude gives me a headache.
R: Hah?
P20
T: I’m not kidding. Don’t get near that guy.
R: Wait!
T: Absolutely not. You’re too obtuse.
P21
T: I’m going to a meeting. After I’m done I’ll be heading straight back home.
R: Really, what is he thinking?
Listening to him, it’s almost as if Nao has that kind of thoughts towards me.
R: How can it be?
Nao can be considered as my benefactor, and he’s good at taking care of friends.
R: And he’s said he has someone he likes already.
So it’s definitely impossible.
P22
N: Ah.
N: It’s the second time seeing you today. Are you back from work?
T: Why...are you here?
N: Ah, I stayed over at Ritsu’s place yesterday.
P23
N: As repayment for food and lodging, I’m helping him to clean up his place.
N: It’s messier than you think, I can’t seem to clean up all the rubbish.
T: Hm. How long are you going to stay here for?
N: I’m planning to leave today anyway, after I throw out this trash.
N: Besides, are you against me and Ritsu together?
N: Saga-san?
N: If you don’t mind, why not have a cup of tea with me?
P24
R: Feels like it’s been so long since I last went home early.
R: And the house has been cleaned by Nao. Ah~ It’s heaven~
R: Ah, right. As a gift, I’ll buy a coffee or something to bring back. And I can restock on instant coffee, it’s more convenient.
T: Don’t let other men get close to you
R: Who cares? Nao is my friend!
P25
R: !?!? Why? Why are they sitting next to each other?
R: Did Takano-san go to my place?
R: No, no. He wouldn’t do that.
R: What do I do…
P26
N: Ritsu. That guy, I’ve mentioned it before, but when we first met, he was very closed-off.
N: He never talked to anyone or had any connections.
N: Everyone started calling him “The Ghost”
N: And it’s all your fault.
P27
N: I’ve heard what happened from Ritsu. Including the part with you.
N: I say, Saga-san.
N: Could you not get any closer to Ritsu?
N: I don’t know how you fooled him, but that guy did really try to forget you. Until now, please don’t let him harbour any foolish expectations.
P28
N: And Ritsu is never going to say that he likes you.
T: ...Even though I don’t know what you’ve heard, but you have no right to interfere in my business with Ritsu.
T: I can’t change the past.
T: Even then,
T: We’ve met again.
T: I’m in love with the current him, not the past him.
N: If you can say something like that, then I’ll have to ask you to leave him.
T: Why do I have to listen to you?
N: Eh? You’re going to ask me that?
P29
N: That’s because, I like Ritsu in that kind of way.
T: !
P30
N: Woah! Ritsu!
R: Ah! Ah, um! N: Eh? Why are you here?
R: Oh, um, I saw you from outside.
Eh?
Eh? Eh?
R: So I wanted to come in and say hi
What did Nao just say?
R: Eheh...heh.
P31
He...likes me?
N: Is this a gift for me?
R: Ah, yeah. Even though it’s instant coffee it tastes really good.
N: Really? I’m so happy!
“In that kind of way” What does that mean?
N: I’ll be going back first, then.
R: Eh?
N: I’ll see you later!
N: Bye bye~
R: Eh? Nao?
N: You too, Saga-senpai. Let’s have dinner sometime!
T: ……
P32
R: Eh? What? Eh? I have no idea what just happened
T: Oi.
R: Eh? Ah, yes?
T: When did you start listening?
R: Ah?
T: Weren’t you eavesdropping?
R: Ah, no, no, I just came.
Because of what just happened, I don’t understand what I just heard.
T: ……
R: ? Ta-
P33
R: -kano-san?
R: Huh?
He...left me?
……
What do I do? Should I directly contact him?
P34
R: No, no, there’s no need to do that, right?
R: It feels as if something’s off, I can’t calm down.
I can’t think of something that would make Nao say that
R: Takano-san seemed pretty bothered by it too.
R: So should I contact him? But what do I say?
R: No, no. I’ll take a shower and go to bed first. It’s not as if I’ve done anything wrong.
R: If he wants to complain he’ll come over himself.
P35
R: It’s not because I’m bothered by Takano-san not responding just now!
R: I’m just confirming, that’s all! Yeah! Confirming!
R: It would be inconvenient if my superior died next door, after all.
Confirming whether he’s alive is a normal thing, after all.
P36
R: I should just go back home
T: Oi.
R: Uwahh!?
T: ……
R: Um, sorry for bothering you in the middle of the night, um, it’s Onodera.
T: …...what do you want.
R: Ah, um, are you alright?
T: Hah?
R: Ah, um, if there’s nothing wrong then that’s good-
T: ......
R: I’m sorry for bothering you, I’ll be going then, good ni-
P37
R: ...Ah…
T: …...Really, what were you thinking?
R: Eh?
R: Ah, you’re right. It’s so late, I’m sorry.
T: No.
P38
T: Why did you come here?
R: Eh? I told you, just to confirm.
T: Confirm what?
R: Um- to check if Takano-san was-
T: What do you even mean?
R: Ah, just, today in the cafe, you seemed different from usual, so I-
T: Different? Where?
R: If not, then that’s fine. I’ll be leaving.
T: Wait.
P39
T: Why did you think I was different from usual?
R: ......
T: Say it.
R: Like I said! Normally you’d be chasing and asking a lot of questions! But this time you haven’t at all!
R: Let go of me! I’m going home.
T: Wait.
P40
T: Why did you come over?
T: I was planning to let you be for today. What an idiot.
R: Hah?
T: Onodera, you…
T: care about the reason why I didn’t interrogate you?
R: Eh? No, no, that was
T: Because I was acting differently, you were concerned?
R: No, not at all!
P41
T: Did you wish for me to intrude into your house, angry?
R: No, I…
R: Wha…?
T: Say it. How much of our conversation did you hear?
R: I told you! Only what Nao said at the end.
P42
T: I told him, he had no right to interfere in our relationship.
T: I was really angry.
T: Putting on a facade of understanding the most about you, taking it for granted that he had the ten years I don’t know about
P43
T: Even saying that he was in love with you
T: Who does he think he is?
R: No… Even if you told me this, Nao is still my friend. It’s definitely not what he means…
T: You’re too inattentive.
P44
T: That was why I was so angry. I panicked. I was frustrated. If I was still there, I didn’t know what I would have done to you. That’s why I left without you.
T: But why have you come again?
P45
R: Did I just dig my own grave?
“If it was Takano-san”
“He’d do that”
Was my true feelings.
R: T-that...Ta-
What I’d thought and predicted
P46
And a little bit of anticipation
(nsfw noises basically, you know the deal)
P47
T: You took a bath before coming here, huh?
T: How eager
R: I-it’s not that! What are you saying?
R: I just took a bath because I came home early! I was going to go to bed!
T: Ah-but you came here instead. I’m truly loved.
R: Wha-
P48
T: Ah, how great
T: Is it because you took a bath? The inside’s all hot
R: Ah...no…
T: I’ve been thinking
P49
T: The both of us are like a jigsaw puzzle.
R: Hah?
T: We don’t know how many pieces there are, and the image is complicated.
T: No matter how hard we try, we can’t see the end.
T: We’re still missing the pieces from 10 years ago.
T: It’s impossible to finish the puzzle now.
P50
R: Then, what are we going to do with the puzzle?
T: Destroy it.
R: Huh?
T: Since we can’t finish it, then there’s no point. What can we do without the missing pieces?
T: That’s why I told your friend
R: Huh???
T: “I’m in love with the current him, not the past him.”
R: Huh?
P51
R: You said that to Nao?!
T: I did, because he kept saying things I didn’t know about the past.
T: And now, how can I let someone like that take you away?
R: No, I said that was-
T: It doesn’t matter what you think, it won’t change his true feelings about you.
T: So
T: Quickly admit that you like me
P52
T: It doesn’t matter what people say.
T: Ritsu.
R: Ah- please wait, Takano-san.
T: You belong to me.
P53
R: It’s so deep…
R: Ah...so hard…
P54
T: It’s-hot inside…
Even like this, we’ve had plenty of joinings. But why does it always feel like we’ve lacked something?
Is it like what Takano-san said?
Is the puzzle missing a piece?
P55
Even though Takano-san says to destroy the puzzle,
But will I be able to do it like him?
After it’s destroyed,
If the same thing happens again.
The pain of loss,
The fear,
Will I really be able to endure that?
No.
The next time, I won’t be able to recover again.
That’s why I’m scared.
P56
R: Ah...inside…
Although Takano-san says it’s not with the me of the past,
And with the me of the present-
P57
R: Nao?!
R: I’ve never seen you at work before! That’s rare.
R: Are you here for a meeting?
N: Nope, just here for my luggage.
R: Ah, but don’t go around taking photos of random people!
N: Ah-but it’s fine, right? I was planning to do a photobook with you!
R: Huh?
T: Excuse me, but
P58
T: Could outsiders not take photos of our employees?
N: Ah, Saga-san! Good morning! Sorry for bothering you yesterday!
N: I was thinking of doing a theme related to “Men in the Workplace”! I’ve already gotten Isaka-san’s approval, so don’t worry.
N: Sigh-that person says things so easily, it’s hard to tell if he’s joking.
R: The atmosphere is so awkward, I’m retreating.
Anyway
R: Nao seems pretty normal. Maybe it was just me hearing things wrongly or him meaning it as a friend…
N: Ritsu-
P59
N: What I said yesterday was serious.
N: It’s that kind of meaning.
R: Eh?
N: Your reaction! You are obtuse, after all.
R: Eh? Eh? Nao?
N: Thanks for the coffee! I tried it, it tasted really good!
P60
N: I’ll contact you later!
Eh? Eh? EEHHH?
T: Onodera.
What’s going on?
R: W-what?!
N: Ah! Saga-san, if you don’t mind, how about dinner today?
T: Sorry, but I happen to be busy.
N: Well that’s a shame then!
P61
R: Ah...um...this is…
T: Onodera.
R: What?
T: More work.
WHY DID MY WORKLOAD JUST INCREASE BY SO MUCH??
T: I’ll send you home later.
R: I don’t want you to!!
Wait a minute, wait a minute. What the hell am I supposed to do in this situation???
Days before Onodera Ritsu falls (completely) in love: 40.
If there’s any errors or questions, feel free to message me.