Good night, Chaeyoung
I love you.
At first, Chaeyoung couldn't quite figure out what she was hearing. The line from the other side went dead just a second ago and, frankly, she didn't know what to react to when she heard Jennie's voice quivering and hoarse as she spoke from the other line. "Chaeyoung... Jisoo, she... Just come to the Seoul National University Hospital, please. Please Chaeyoung. Please. I'm sorry."
It was a brief phone call between two friends, and the way Jennie's breath had become audibly ragged on the phone somehow made Chaeyoung feel anxious. Jennie has always been known for keeping her composure in any situation, but today, Jennie is different. Jennie was panicking and the thought of the feline eyes panicking, shivering, and quivering in her feet made Chaeyoung stand abruptly in her seat and ran to her car. Her heart was pounding constantly as if she was in an important race. Chaeyoung knew she shouldn't let the assumption get the best of her, but she couldn't help but lose herself and think about it. She hoped Jisoo would be okay.
The moment Chaeyoung took off from her car. Chaeyoung abandoned everything in her car and ran to the entrance only to be greeted by the sight of a doctor performing CPR on the unconscious patient. Aside from that sight, there were people groaning in pain, some were crying, and there was blood. Blood was just everywhere: on the wall, the floor, and on their bodies. The sound of chatter, shouting, and groans of the patients was enough for the hospital to turn into something chaotic and Chaeyoung could not help but feel anxiety heightened inside her.
Jisoo. Jisoo. Jisoo.
Chaeyoung's mind was chanting the raven's name as she moved her legs and roamed her eyes around the area. Cold sweats were now forming on her forehead; her breath had become ragged, and her baby hair was stuck on her forehead. Chaeyoung's stomach was twisting in anxiety when she realized there was no sight nor trace of Jisoo around the area.
And just like that. A brunette wearing nothing but casual clothes stained with blood came out of the area. Her eyes were red from the tears and when she glanced over to where Chaeyoung was, she walked, her heart pounding constantly and said. "Chaeyoung."
Chaeyoung turned. Jennie's tired feline eyes flashed before Chaeyoung.
"Jennie... Are you okay?"
Jennie pursed her lips, trying to hold her tears back, and crookedly spoke. "I'm fine."
Chaeyoung didn't really believe her.
"Where's Jisoo?"
Jennie stiffened and Chaeyoung noticed that. Suddenly, Jennie glanced away for one second and turned to Chaeyoung with emotions that Chaeyoung couldn't grasp and said. "Can we talk somewhere?"
Without waiting for a reply, Jennie turned her heels. She knew Chaeyoung would follow and she was right. The journey to nowhere with Jennie in the lead had somehow made Chaeyoung feel her chest tight. The area was filled with patients accompanied by nurses and doctors, although not all of the patients were attended to. The hospital staff were outnumbered and just by looking at the situation made Chaeyoung feel desperate to see her wife. She needs to see Jisoo. She needs to know if she is fine.
"Jen? I don't really know where you're taking me, but I need to see Jisoo." Chaeyoung said. Her voice was filled with anxiety.
Instead of hearing a reply from the feline woman, Chaeyoung received nothing and when they finally arrived at the wing garden area, Jennie had finally turned her heels. Her lips were pursed and her body was tense. It looked like she was afraid of something, and Chaeyoung was really starting to get frustrated with the stress of not finding Jisoo.
"So, where's Jisoo?"
And there she was again: Jennie once again stiffened. Chaeyoung noticed this and, instead of sliding it off like before, she spoke. "Jennie?"
Jennie's strands of hair were blown by the wind as she pursed her lips. Chaeyoung could see the tear stains on her cheeks; her lips were turning a bit red from the biting; and her hair was haggard, unlike usual. Everything about Jennie just screamed drowsy and Chaeyoung could see it very well.
All of a sudden, Jennie burst into tears. That made Chaeyoung approach her as she opened her arms to embrace Jennie. As much as Chaeyoung's frustration grew time by time, Chaeyoung wasn't going to lie. The sight of Jennie breaking down was something she didn't expect to encounter.
"Jen? Why are you crying? You're making me nervous. Can you tell me now?"
Chaeyoung was starting to get uneasy and as much as she wanted to be patient, her patience was running thin as she tried to hold her ground.
"Jennie. Please-"
"Jisoo... she-"
"She's what, Jennie?"
Jennie purses her lips tight. Her eyes were averting it's gaze away from Chaeyoung and just when Chaeyoung thought Jennie was not going to speak anymore, Jennie finally opened her mouth and said, almost heartbreakingly, "She's dead."
"What?"
"She's dead, Chaeyoung. I'm... I'm sorry."
Chaeyoung stood frozen on the ground. Her gaze held Jennie tightly, as if she was waiting for the feline woman to crack a laugh and tell her that she was joking, but Jennie didn't. She never did after all those seconds Chaeyoung gave to take back what she said. Instead, she looked down at the floor, mumbling countless apologies.
"You're kidding me. Where is she, Jennie?"
When there was no response, Chaeyoung decided to take matters into her own hands and turned her heels to sprint. She had no time for this joke. Jennie is joking. She was just joking. Jisoo is not dead. How could she be dead when a while ago, Jisoo was just telling her that she would be home by dinner? That is just impossible.
Chaeyoung could hear Jennie's footsteps, calling for her name, but Chaeyoung didn't stop until she had arrived at the desk counter, hastily asking for the room of patient Kim Jisoo.
"Relationship?" Asked by the nurse behind the counter.
"Wife. My wife is Kim Jisoo. Where is she?"
"Ma'am-"
"Where is she!?" Chaeyoung exclaimed, and just when the nurse was about to make another word, she knew better, and said. "Room 336.
Jennie's lungs were breathless as she chased the strawberry blonde running like a hyena in the hospital, and she couldn't blame Chaeyoung for acting like that, because she would do the same thing.
When Chaeyoung finally arrived at her destination, she swung the door open and Lisa was there, sitting like a dead corpse as she stared at something that Chaeyoung could not identify until she stepped out and followed where Lisa was looking at: someone's body covered in white clothing.
Chaeyoung's breathing halted and her body was paralyzed in her position when she glanced at the name of the patient.
Kim Jisoo.
Time of Death: 12:01 AM
"No... No, no, no, no!" Chaeyoung shouted, stepping back until she felt someone's presence behind her. "You're kidding me."
Jennie's arms were wrapped around Chaeyoung, mumbling countless apologies in Chaeyoung's ears as Chaeyoung was struggling, shouting, and sobbing with Jisoo's name on her lips.
It was still hard to believe and Jennie was trying to control her tears. She doesn't want to add herself, because Chaeyoung needed comfort more than she did, and she's going to do what she's duty to do. Jennie's arms were wrapped firm until she felt the strawberry blonde dropping down on her knees.
Chaeyoung was still sobbing like a child throwing a tantrum and crying like her favorite sweater had disappeared before her eyes. And she was still going on like that until she couldn't breathe anymore from the overwhelming emotion.
"Chaeyoung?" Chaeyoung's head frantically shook.
"No Jennie... No... please..."
Chaeyoung was still refusing to believe it and Jennie was trying to keep her tears at bay. Lisa, who was on the side, finally stood up from her seat and hugged Chaeyoung tightly along with Jennie.
"I know she's alive there, Lis. She's alive." Chaeyoung mumbled into Lisa's embrace.
"I'm sorry, Chaeyoung."
That was all Lisa could say to her friend.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry. Jisoo is dead."
"She is dea-"
"Chaeyoung."
"Chaeyoung."
"Chaeyoung."
"Park Chaeyoung!"
Chaeyoung abruptly opened her eyes and said, "Huh?"
Chaeyoung was in daze and despite the lights being turned off, Chaeyoung could fully grasp the dark figure that was in front of her and it was Jisoo. Kim Jisoo. Her Jisoo. And Chaeyoung had to reach her hand for confirmation and fully cup her palm over Jisoo’s cheeks, and when she did that, a surge of relieved washed over her body, and she whispered, almost whimpering, "You’re alive."
Jisoo furrowed her eyebrows together and just when she was about to speak, she was cut off when she saw Chaeyoung, all of a sudden, broke down into a fit of tears. Panic then started to rush through Jisoo’s system as she sat up and leaned closer, almost protectively, and cupped Chaeyoung’s cheeks closely with both of her palms, and said. "What’s wrong?"
Chaeyoung was responding with nothing but sobs, and it worried Jisoo, because it wasn’t just an ordinary cry. Chaeyoung was crying as if something was really wrong and it looked like she couldn’t accept it, and Jisoo despised it when she couldn’t do anything to help Chaeyoung through it. So she pulled Chaeyoung into her embrace and caressed her hair gently as she mumbled, "Shh, It’s okay. Chaeyoung, it’s okay. I’m here now. I’m here, baby. Let it out."
Chaeyoung was still weeping in Jisoo's embrace and after a few minutes, still in Jisoo's embrace; Chaeyoung finally calmed down which made Jisoo to gently sigh in relief and hold her lover's pale face closer with a little comfort smile all over her lips, whispering, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Chaeyoung pursed her lips, biting them in the process, and looked away. Jisoo noticed the sudden action and nodded slightly. She then noticed a tear falling down from Chaeyoung's eyes and when she reached out to wipe it, Chaeyoung flinched. Of course, Jisoo noticed that, yet stayed mum and didn't talk. She knew the best thing to get Chaeyoung to talk was to be silent and let her take her time. After a couple of minutes of silence, Chaeyoung finally opened her mouth, and said.
"You left. You left me..."
Jisoo blinked in surprise and nodded slowly, urging Chaeyoung to continue, and said unsurely. "How?"
Cold silence was surrounding them and Chaeyoung was contemplating whether to proceed and tell Jisoo about her silly dream. She knew it was silly of her to cry over a dream, but it felt so real. It felt so real that Chaeyoung was sure her body was paralyzed when she realized the body laying in the hospital bed was Jisoo's. It scared Chaeyoung so badly, because she wasn't sure what she was going to do when she was going to lose Jisoo. It scared her. It scared her so badly that Chaeyoung felt so overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions.
She didn't want to lose Jisoo. She doesn't want to lose Jisoo. She doesn't want to lose Jisoo-
"Chaeyoung?" Jisoo said, tugging Chaeyoung's hand into hers. "Look at me, Chae. What happened?"
"Jennie called me, telling me that y-you're gone, Chu. You're gone a-and... I was just so afraid that you were going to leave me, Jisoo. I was so afraid that you were going to leave me..."
Jisoo swiftly moved closer when she saw Chaeyoung starting to tear up again and opened her arms for Chaeyoung to embrace her, which Chaeyoung did without hesitation.
"Hey, it's okay now. I'm here now, Chaeyoung. I won't disappear. You hear me? I won't." Jisoo started. "I won't."
"Really?"
Jisoo pulled slightly away with a smile plastered all over her lips and said. "Really. Now, let me get you some water down-"
"But you said you won't leave me."
Chaeyoung was pouting, yet she was serious. Jisoo only smiled in response before she started to draw small circles on Chaeyoung's hands as she spoke, "I won't leave. I'll just get you some water, alright? I promise I'll be back right away okay?"
With final reassurance, Chaeyoung finally let Jisoo go and Jisoo stayed true to her words because she immediately came back to their room with a glass of water in her hand.
"Told you I'd be back real quick." Jisoo said, a grin flashing on her lips, and handed the water to her wife.
"Drink that slowly. Ma used to tell me it helps you feel better when you have a bad dream." Jisoo started and wordlessly reached for Chaeyoung's scalp to massage it.
Her fingers ran through it softly. Chaeyoung closed her eyes as she felt how Jisoo moved her fingers, stroking them for her to feel better. After the strokes, Jisoo began to move her fingers and began to draw small circles on Chaeyoung's temple and smiled in relief when she saw how Chaeyoung seemed to relax her body.
"Do you feel better now?"
"I do. Thank you, Soo..."
Even though Chaeyoung could not see that much, she could feel Jisoo's smile.
"That's good." Jisoo said and placed a kiss on Chaeyoung's forehead before she stopped her fingers and laid her body. Chaeyoung was still sitting up on the bed and when she saw Jisoo tapping the sheet beside her, Chaeyoung smiled and slowly let herself fall into Jisoo's embrace.
When she did, Chaeyoung looked up from the embrace and whispered. "Thank you."
Jisoo smiled a little as she reached one hand to play with Chaeyoung's hair, "When you wake up, I'll still be here." She tapped the sheets with her other hand, "My mouth is slightly open and I am breathing fine. So stop thinking about it, okay? I won't disappear."
"Okay."
With Jisoo's final kiss on her forehead for today. Chaeyoung looked up from the embrace and saw the raven already closing her eyes.
"Jisoo?"
And just when she thought the raven would not answer anymore, she was surprised when hears Jisoo hummed in response.
"I love you." Chaeyoung said and saw Jisoo fluttering her right eye and smiled lovingly.
"I love you too."
Chaeyoung smiled shyly and when she felt another kiss on her forehead again, she knew Jisoo would still be there when she wakes up and, she wanted to thank God for that. Before Chaeyoung knew it, her eyes starts to feel heavy, and unconsciously fell asleep around Jisoo's embrace.
"Good night, Chaeyoung." Jisoo mumbled before she joined Chaeyoung into the wonderland.