I wrote a short fic inspired by @chalroe‘s comic about Jon telling Martin “I love you” and how long it took Martin to get used to hearing it
Accidental Confessions
The first time Jon told Martin he loved him, it slipped out on accident. He’d had this grand declaration all planned out in his mind, he was going to make Martin his favorite pie, the whole thing. Instead, when Martin handed him a cup of tea, instead of saying “thank you,” he replied,
“I love you.”
Which promptly caused Martin to drop said cup of tea before Jon had a full grasp on it, and sent it falling to the floor and shattering all over the place.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, let me-”
“No, I got it-”
Together, they cleaned up the mess, but Martin’s cheeks didn’t lose their bright red color the entire time, and his smile was brighter than ever before when he handed Jon a replacement cup.
This time, Jon got his words right, and left it with “thank you.”
Of course, after such a casual admission, his grandiose plan wasn’t quite on the cards anymore. He still made Martin his favorite pie though; just because he didn’t have to eat normal food anymore didn’t mean he couldn’t surprise Martin with nice things. Besides, he didn’t want his mediocre cooking skills to be completely forgotten, and baking was relaxing when he wasn’t accidentally setting off the smoke alarm.
The second time Jon told Martin ‘I love you’ was when they were stood at the edge of a pasture, looking at some particularly fluffy cows. Martin was giving each of them a name, but Jon could barely look away from Martin and the light in his eyes.
“What do you think? I think that one is definitely a Bert.”
Jon laughed. “I agree, but I wonder what Bert thinks about his new name.”
Martin looked back at the pasture, cupped his hands around his mouth, and called, “Hey, Bert!”
The cow immediately turned to look at them and gave an affirmative moo in response.
“I knew it!” Martin raised his hands above his head in celebration.
Jon saw the look of exuberance on Martin’s face, and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
“I love you so much.”
Martin still had a foot perched on the fence and, at Jon’s words, he slipped and practically smashed completely into the rail.
“Are you alright? I’m sorry…”
“I’m fine,” Martin said quietly even as Jon helped him right himself, hands still gently holding onto him. Both of their faces were bright red, though whether that was from the wind or the situation, neither would admit. And Bert, ever the good cow, let out a series of loud moos that caused both Jon and Martin to laugh again, arms wrapped around each other as they made their way home.
The third time Jon said I love you was when he had sat down for a statement and Martin was off to the shops.
“Got everything you need?” Martin asked while standing in the open doorway, having turned back one last time to check on Jon.
“I think so. Thank you.”
“I’ll be back in a little bit. Enjoy.”
“Have a good time. I love you.”
Martin buried his face in both his hands while giggling to himself. When he emerged from his impromptu cocoon, his face was again completely flushed.
“Stop it,” he groaned jokingly while still laughing and smiling. “Now I’m not going to be able to stop grinning the whole time I’m down there, and everybody is going to ask me what’s going on.”
“I don’t think that’s the most horrible thing,” Jon said. Martin’s glee was contagious, and Jon couldn’t help but smile too, even though he’d barely even registered that those words had crossed his lips.
“Maybe not. Anyway, I’m going now. For real.” Martin inched out the door, turned back to give Jon one last look and smile, then left for the shops.
If the smile on his face when he got back was any indication, he really hadn’t stopped grinning the entire trip.
The fourth time, Jon had his head rested on Martin’s shoulder, a book in each of their laps, as a small fire crackled before them. There was nothing to distract them or torment them, just the peace of being together.
“I love you, Martin,” Jon said quietly.
Martin immediately smiled, but the blush in his cheeks was less than before and he didn’t drop anything or break out into an embarrassed laughing fit. Instead, he pressed a slow kiss to the top of Jon’s head and said nothing.
It was Jon’s turn to blush uncontrollably, and he snuggled a little closer to Martin’s side. Then, he chuckled, “What, no reaction this time? I guess the honeymoon phase is over.”
Martin laughed and set his book to the side. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to hearing that,” he admitted, shifting so that he could face Jon, even if he still rarely looked him in the eye. “I just… every time you say it… Listen, I spent a long time pining after you, thinking that my feelings would never be reciprocated. The first times you… said it, it felt like it was still a wish, something I’d cooked up in a daydream. But the more you tell me, the more it feels real. That this-” he reached out and gently took one of Jon’s hands in his own “-is all real. And I think that realization is hitting me now. Every time you say it, it makes me think I actually deserve this.”
“Of course you deserve it,” Jon insisted, squeezing Martin’s hand tightly.
Martin looked to the side and let out a small sigh, then turned back to Jon and leaned forward to kiss him. “I love you too, you know.”
At those words, it was Jon’s turn to drop the book still sat on his leg in shock as he stuttered. The blush in his cheeks deepened and his mouth opened several times as he searched for words.
“What?” Martin gasped, laughing, “That’s a surprise? As if you didn’t already know. I said as much in the Lonely, plus so many tapes…”
“You’ve never said it directly, though,” Jon replied, still spluttering. “And in the Lonely, it was past tense, you loved me, not current!” He paused and chuckled to himself, replaying the feeling of Martin’s lips on his. “And here I was afraid I was coming on too strong.”
“Jon, we’ve been cuddled up together for the past two hours. We share a bed. If you were worried about coming on too strong, you might’ve wanted to think about that sooner.”
As they both thought it all over, they couldn’t keep from laughing again and leaning in toward each other until it was natural as anything for their lips to meet and bridge the distance between them. No matter the words they spoke aloud, the way they kissed said it all.
“Maybe I never told you before, not really,” Martin breathed, “but I love you. I love you, Jon.”
Jon bit his lip and grinned. “I love you, too. Now it’s my turn to be shocked and baffled at hearing that.”
“Means I’m going to have to say it a lot more,” Martin teased. “You’re adorable when you’re confused.”
“Oh, come now…”
“It’s one of the many things I love about you.”
Jon blushed and looked away again, then decided the easiest way to handle it all was to pull Martin in for another kiss, leaning into him and wrapping his arms around him.
As right as it felt to confess their feelings, as natural as it was to be wrapped up in each other, there was no way either would ever get truly accustomed to the reality of their situation. It was real. They were together and, at least for the moment, they were safe – and that was all that mattered.
hiii i just wanted to say again how much i love your art! 😭💕 like you always put so many details in there, i could stare at it forever and like the variations in clothes and colors its never ever boring and idk whatever the opposite of same face syndrom is - you have it, all your faces always look so different and have such unique shapes in them im 😳 big art inspo...
CHARLIE. I LOVE BEING PERCIEVED BY YOU... sometimes i forget that we’re in each other’s internet spheres socially speaking and it’s always a shock when i remember because you have always been such a HUGE inspiration to me. i am sending you the largest internet hug
D for any of your fics, F and T? love your writing!!
Thank you. Your art inspires me!!
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?
I think about Jon in Monster of Magnus Manor and listen to Stray Italian Greyhound and sob. That song emotionally assassinates me whenever my shuffle spits it out. I mean?? I just settled into the glass half empty / Made myself at home / I just stopped believing in happy endings / But you had to come along didn’t you / Tear down the doors, throw open windows / Oh if you knew just what a fool you have made me. That’s it!!! That’s the bitch!!!!
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
I’m gonna cheat a little and instead of a dialogue scene, I’m gonna pick a piece of character introspection because that shit’s my jam, specifically this Jon POV scene from my the loneliness never left me,
It had been … God, almost one month since they’d arrived at Daisy’s cabin, hadn’t it? One month since Martin decided that he’d weed the garden if Jon dusted the attic, switching when Jon had found the first of the spiders. One month of toiling over shopping list after shopping list before making their weekly twenty-minute trek to the mart, only to forget something anyway. One month since Martin had taken his hand, even though their arms were full of groceries. Kissed his cheek when Jon had burnt their pasta sauce. Reached for him under the bed covers, holding him as Jon struggled to breathe through his sobbing, until they both drifted away again.
Aahhhh, I love how this turned how so much, and I definitely think this sort of thing is where my writing is strongest; characters doing mundane things but god they’re just so in love about it! I could write characters being soft and domestic all day (also the little detail of Jon started dusting the attic but found spiders and freaked out so Martin did it instead djgdfg THEM!!)
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
I don’t think I have anything I’m super dead set against against (outside of like sexual kinks and stuff), like I’ll try anything once. I generally don’t prefer things like A/B/O and mpreg, but even then, I remember this one Sh*rlock fic that was honestly really compelling, like it dove into the politics of what a world like that would really mean for someone who was an omega and the oppression they’d face and how they struggled through that system. Absolutely fascinating, and great world building to boot, one of the only 300k fics I stuck with til the end.
hey, just wanted to tell you that i love your art of jon dressed up fancy so so much!!!! (this might be a bit of a weird compliment also but i dont see a lot of art of him in gnc clothing with short hair? idk i really like that, its such a cute look!)
