Your Interest Is Changing, and It Is Okay
First of all, this is just one of my journal pages about how I cope with my interest changing from time to time, without feeling like I ‘betray’ it for another interest. Out there, I believe, lots of people are also facing the same problem, so I hope this writing can help in some way!
I have always been a huge fan of music, particularly rock and metal. Every day is filled with new tracks, new albums, new artists, and I will listen to them from dusk 'til down; all from The Beatles to Motley Crue to Metallica and Mayhem. I own a few band tees and believed it would be my personality for my whole life, or so I thought. When I listened to older metalheads talking about their favourite bands and how they had been lifelong fans, I thought ‘Yes, this is me, and this will be me.’ I even dreamt about being a rockstar, singing on the stage with that glamorous presence. But now? not so much. And that's okay :)
As I entered college, I realized I no longer had as much spare time as I used to. I am unable to multitask and listen to music, as I need to focus 100% on my work to prevent any mistakes, as any will be fatal to my grade. Slowly but surely, that fiery passion fades away into a dim spark. It scared me, ‘I have never spent a day in my life without devoting my life to any special interest!’.
I tried to fill the void by getting myself hooked into smaller fandoms such as Hannibal (I know it is not that small, but it is a very specific one!), Back To The Future, Deadpool and Wolverine, and many, many more! However, each time I move from one fandom to another, I can't shake the guilt of leaving the previous one behind. It haunts me.
Currently, though, I finally found my interest in Formula 1 (something I swore would never get into back in the day, but people change). One day, I probably won't spend 24/7 on F1 as I do now and that's okay :)
What I've come to realize about getting into a particular interest is you always learn something from them. My passion for music expands my music knowledge. I find myself appreciating the 60s, 70s, 80s, and many other decades' culture, fashion, music, and more! With my passion for literature, I find myself getting intrigued by the magic of writing and picking up some writing skill for myself (it definitely helps my vocabulary when writing essays hahah). Now with my interest in Formula 1, I got so much driving knowledge that I never thought I would have.
What I'm trying to say is you achieve and learn something from every phase of your life. It can be anything, new knowledge, a new language, a new skill, everything! It doesn't have to be something practical, something special, but it is something! It can be as small as a random piece of knowledge from manga that unexpectedly helps you pass an exam. That 'thing' you got from your interest could lead you to find new friends, more topics of conversation, and many new opportunities you never saw coming. It helps you grow as a person.
In conclusion, changes eventually are inevitable. But here is the beautiful part: your once very special interest never truly leaves you, even when you think you have outgrown and betrayed them. In reality, it stays with you, and I think that is something worth embracing.















