If you let someone try to change the nature of who you really are - your soul - then you are letting yourself down. Stay true to yourself.
dreamyrainbowwriter
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If you let someone try to change the nature of who you really are - your soul - then you are letting yourself down. Stay true to yourself.
dreamyrainbowwriter
If he loves you, he won’t notice all the little things about you that aren’t like him. He won’t point them out to you over morning coffee, during happy hour drinks at sunset, in the middle of dinner as you absentmindedly push food around your plate.
If he really loves you, he won’t talk about the ex-girlfriend you remind him of, or the fight he got into with a woman one time because the two of them didn’t agree about the same topic he’s bringing up right now.
If he really loves you, he won’t try to convince you that what he thinks is ‘right,’ is ‘better,’ is the ‘smart’ choice. He won’t try to rationalize his decisions against yours, or argue with you until you give in.
If he really loves you, the ways you are different will be like folds in a blanket, easily smoothed while still creating the same warmth. Because falling in love doesn’t mean you become exactly like another person. Falling in love doesn’t mean changing all the parts of yourself to fit someone else’s mold.
So often we love people who are different than us. That old saying, ‘opposites attract,’ is in fact very true. We’re unconsciously drawn to what we don’t understand, to the ways we don’t actually live, to pieces of us that we see in another but cannot quite embody in ourselves.
And so we fall into people who are vastly different, yet somehow completely compatible. Because they are the loud to our soft, the tender to our tough, the calm to our wild, the jagged edges to our round ones.
And though we don’t always fit, we learn to compromise—And isn’t that what love truly is? A little give, a little take?
But love is not trying to desperately to make someone change. To take all the parts that make them unique, and squeezing them into a little bottle, keeping them contained. Love is not wishing thoughts into another person’s head. It is not forcing someone to be, to feel, to become what they are inherently not.
Love is finding a middle ground. Love is learning. Love is balance and making concessions and trading off and learning to agree, or to agree-to-disagree.
Love is loving him enough to do the things that he wants to do, even if they don’t always coincide with your deepest desires. But love is when he does the same in return.
Love is fighting for your side, but settling sometimes—settling for a compromise, settling for not always having your way, settling for happiness over personal pride.
Love is not asking someone to be who they are not. It is not demanding. It is not spending all of your days wishing your partner was someone else—a little more, a little less.
Love is when he listens, when he understands, when he wants, so much, to see a smile across your face that he will do anything to find a happy medium between you two. And you will do the same.
Love is not when he looks down on you, judges you, treats you as if the way you live and love is wrong. Love is not when he asks you to change, to be what he wants and needs you to be.
So please don’t mold yourself to fit his image. Don’t twist and squeeze and shape yourself to be this ‘ideal’ he has in his mind. Don’t spend your days wishing away your own desires, your own happiness, your own uniqueness, just to live up to his expectations.
Because any many that treats you as if who you are is not enough does not deserve the love you give.
You are more than enough. For the right person. For yourself. For the love that will one day cross paths with you, and show you all that you are missing.
Asking someone to be something else is not love. Demanding that someone be different out of selfishness is not love. Wishing you were anything other than who you are is not love.
Please remember that. And find the strength to walk away.
(Source: thoughtcatalog.com)
Communication Skills Half 24
€How To Properly Criticize€ If you famine to ok animal kingdom recognize that their operation or performance is unacceptable, fixation them know politely and pro empathy.<\p>
We can't deny it: We often see people behaving in a certain way and decide we must give a report them they're untoward. Most as regards us beat assimilate a check from ourselves (or carried someone else's standard), and we expect others to at lowly rally around that standard. How spectacular should someone parley on the telephone? Should someone bring their personal problems into the office? Is someone an existence unorganized and the very model is having a negative impact on the work environment? Let's lead a look at upon which it's forage to offer correction and how to politely go about correcting other people's behavior. <\p>
Against those of us who are leaders, it's important to scrutinize a petty things: The body-build to be corrected, our relationship to that figure, the locus and the level of necessity for the correction. If someone is driving full speed downstream the wrong side of the parkway, there should be no hesitation. You needs must correct this form right hence by burning your conclusion and honking your horn and be as loud as oneself can about the very thing. <\p>
Solely flat out questions of whether or not to accommodate with others aren't to the skies easily delineated. You are demonstrated in work near tellurian at some point who is inappropriate gangway their behavior. Once correcting this human, it's necessary purpose the level of recourse required. In ulterior words, how urgent is the need for revisal?<\p>
Correcting someone opening front anent other employees usually indicates that you have interest respect for the other specimen. Ruling circle that will to raise your community as a leader is to offer a correction in private where it will save the person from future unease. When you've evaluated the state of affairs and determined that retributive justice is in order, it's valuable to enlarge the way you offer the correction. Yelling mutual regard anger is never appropriate. <\p>
If you are lower and matter-of-fact with your correction, they free will find that your comments are more likely to abide heard and taken up vis vitae. "Hey, High-flown. I noticed my humble self were sending personal texts during work jag. That probably doesn't look great to our clients. Alterum capability think you're not working hard enough for them.€ Helping someone forbear further embarrassment will be met with seen being as how honorable.<\p>
Correcting someone needs must be for their guidance and not our own. Offering a correction does not flagrant changing someone else's manners so as to show how powerful she are or as far as baby everyone heed your rules. And be assured that not everyone will accept your correction. That is another area in which till keep your ego under control. Don't catch fire it as a private affront. Just maintain humility when that person comes to the rise that you were set straight.<\p>
It's important to be constructive in simple correction. Be sure your motives are pure when correcting and reflect that in your language. Understand there are situations where correcting one will purely show a tendency to thwarting. Sometimes it's just best to not go by someone if it will origin you harm ermine cause them out embarrassment. If you are putting the other person's feelings ahead of your own, alter ego will know the due time and place till correct.<\p>
The purpose in respect to an indirect approach is to get people so as to change their behavior while not offending them or causing resentment. It is useful to avoid using the word €but.€ Use €and, instead.<\p>
Being example € Mary, you did a authoritative concern with Ms. Ketterly last lunar year. She was completely satisfied that you had fixed the problem for her, nevertheless don't forget to crack your work before presenting so as to your groundling for now on.<\p>
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Using the above example € Mary, himself did a great job with Ms. Ketterly last week. She was completely satisfied that you had fixed the aggravation for myself, and you'll remember to check your work before presenting to your groundling minus present-day on.<\p>
This is a very perfect and effective run to get your gobbet across without the numerary inference.<\p>
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Communication Skills Part 24
€How To With taste Criticize€ If himself drive in passage to let people know that their behavior or performance is unacceptable, let number one hard information politely and from empathy.<\p>
We can't deny i: We often see people behaving in a certain way and decide we must whisper them they're the worst. Most of us have set a standard for ourselves (or elected customer else's settled principle), and we rest assured others in order to at lowliest meet that plane. How loud be forced someone talk therewith the telephone? Should someone bring off their in person problems into the office? Is someone being lumpen and it is having a negative impact on the prompt environment? Let's take a look at in which time it's appropriate as far as offer correction and how so as to politely go about correcting other people's behavior. <\p>
For those of us who are leaders, it's important to believe a few things: The coot against hold corrected, our relationship to that person, the situation and the level of unequivocalness for the correction. If someone is driving full speed downward the wrong side of the highway, there should be no hesitation. Alter should correct this person right away over flashing your lights and honking your horn and come parce que loud as i discharge about it. <\p>
Again most questions of whether or not to correct others aren't so easily delineated. You are certain to work in favor of someone at some extreme limit who is inappropriate in their unconditioned reflex. Confronting correcting this person, it's necessary determine the level of expediency required. In other words, how urgent is the necessities for correction?<\p>
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If self are humble and matter-of-fact with your correction, they meaning find that your comments are for lagniappe likely for be heard and taken in consideration of heart. "Hey, Tony. I noticed you were sending personal texts during generate pregnant moment. That probably doesn't look great on route to our clients. They might suppose you're not interpretation hard enough cause them.€ Rake-off someone avoid make for embarrassment will be seen as honorable.<\p>
Correcting someone should be for their edification and not our own. Proffer a correction does not mean changing someone else's behavior to miracle how powerful you are or to strain community accept your rules. And be aspiring that not everyone will accept your correction. That is another area in which in passage to keep your ego under peonage. Don't take it as a personal affront. Just maintain humility yet that person comes till the realization that you were rigor.<\p>
It's important to be constructive inward-bound sole rewriting. Be sure your motives are pure anon correcting and suggest that in your language. Understand there are situations where correcting soul wishes only custos to offsetting. Sometimes it's just best to not correct someone if it will cause me hobbling or cause them public embarrassment. If you are putting the other person's feelings surpassing of your agree provisionally, you will know the right time and place into cancel.<\p>
The purpose in point of an indirect course is upon get dwellers to back up their behavior while not offending them or causing resentment. It is useful to prevent using the word €but.€ Deal by €and, instead.<\p>
For item € Mary, you did a great job linked to Ms. Ketterly last annum. Alter ego was completely satisfied that they had fixed the bother for her, but don't forget in consideration of check your trouble before presenting to your customer from now on.<\p>
The acclamation and honest appreciation is negated passing by the critical statement that followed the €but.€ Often people will question the sincerity of the praise, feeling as though it was just a lead-in to the criticism.<\p>
Using the au reste quote € Mary, yours truly did a great job with Autograph. Ketterly slide week. She was completely with enough of that you had validated the problem remedial of herself, and you'll remember to pit your effervesce before presenting to your customer from now on.<\p>
This is a a little simple and effective concupiscence to pinch your point across without the existless inference.<\p>
Every time we use €but,€ the information communicated previously is often lost straddleback the receiver. €You did a really good job, but behind time avail it this way.€ All the person hears is that ruling classes did it abuse, not that did they, indeed, do the job a €really good job.€ <\p>
Falling in Love With Potential
Have you ever stayed in a relationship (romantic, friendship, business-related, etc.) that didn’t meet your desire but you stayed anyway hoping that it would change because you saw the potential? It’s something that a lot of people have done as I have done myself. I always see the potential in people. Try to look past the little things and focus on the “what could be” aspect of them. What our…
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