#changkyun reader insert

[mininky]

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Summary: Changkyun has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and he’s determined to make you finally stop looking at him as your little brother’s best friend and see him as a man. This is a story of love, scheming, and hijinks with the help of Changkyun’s friend and a bad date known as the Hannibal.

Pairing: College student! Changkyun x Noona reader

Genre: Crack, fluff, romance, smut, slow burn

Word Count: 19.5K (I really outdid myself this time)

Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, public sex

A/N: This is dedicated to @mzpandylu because I just love making you suffer with me over this brat.

   Changkyun has always been too smart for his own good. For as long as he can remember he's been able to weasel his way out of all possible consequences for his varying shenanigans. One might think that now, as an adult, he'd finally outgrown this. But honestly, Changkyun isn't sure if 'adult' is an apt description for him when he's still living in dorms and barely holding down a work-study job. He's honestly not sure how the lab hasn't caught on to the fact that he sometimes makes acid that he's turned a profit on occasionally. But that's neither here nor there. No the main reason why Changkyun doesn't feel like he's really an adult yet isn't because he's still in school, or because he isn't really living on his own yet. No the real reason why he doesn't feel like an adult is because you don't see him as one. A fact that perpetually insults and aggravates him.

   There are some facts he's just accepted, no matter how much it annoys him. He can admit now that his parents and you will always see him as a snot-nosed brat. The former he can accept easily, it's the latter that makes him feel the rage of a thousand suns. Not that suns have sentient feelings, but Changkyun's rather fond of the whimsical folly in such an absurd statement.

   For as long as Changkyun has known you he's been head-over-heels in love with you. You had this aura to you, and no matter how many times he's tried to pulverize his feelings for you to a bloody pulp they find a way to resurface and grow stronger with even more wide-spread roots. It's been this way for as long as he can remember really.

   He first met you when he really was just a snot-nosed punk. He was all of six years old, the new kid in town. You were ten, the cute next door neighbor who tolerated him due to your mutual voracious appetites in books but mostly because he became fast friends with your little brother, Hyungwon, who was a year older than him but in the same grade. There were a lot of things he learned about you that summer, most importantly he learned that you had mastered the armbar already and had no qualms with using it to get revenge on Hyungwon for saving over your Pokemon Yellow file.

   Three years later you got your period for the first time, a moment that Changkyun has seared into his brain because he continued pestering you about how tampons were used to which you threatened to shove your history textbook up his ass. Even then, he knew that you really would throw down and he never brought it up again.

   Flash forward to his thirteenth summer, this is the first time Changkyun would realize that he was in love with you. That it wasn't just that he thought you were cute or the epitome of cool. No no, this was the beginning stages of puppy love. Although, at this point in his life he was less concerned with his infatuation with his best friend's sister and what his budding feelings meant and was more concerned with the fact that he sprung boners just from hearing you laugh. To his credit, that's a very common problem at that age. Unfortunately for him...he still pops random boners from thinking about you. It didn't help that by this age, you at 17 years old, had already started blossoming into your body, something that would take many more years for the same to happen to him. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, but he sometimes still jerks off to memories of you lounging around the pool that summer.

   When he was fourteen he finally started high school. It was the only year that he was able to attend with you, but that one year was magical. Thanks to your overprotective nature for your brother who would fall asleep standing up in between classes he saw you very often. You were also his ride to and from school. He had been shocked, and deeply offended, to find out that you weren't considered one of the cool kids at school. You stuck mostly to yourself, or to whatever book was closest to you. A sentiment that still relates to him. That year though you had somehow managed to get him access to his first ever party containing illegal substances.

   The party had been held at Wonho's house, a senior who was that dude. You know that dude, the one that everyone loved and either wanted to be him or wanted to bone him? Well, that was Wonho. Changkyun can still vividly recall wandering around aimlessly out of sheer boredom when he found you making out with a guy he was sure was bad news. Shownu. Shownu was already out of high school and living on his own. He could easily have picked Changkyun up by the collar and flung him to the opposite side of the room if he wanted to. But no, he was usually too busy boning you to acknowledge his competition.

   Changkyun was always quick to point out to everyone that would listen that he thought it was gross that a grown ass man was dating a high schooler. The problem with this logic, however, was that you had started dating him while you were both in high school. The other problem was that Shownu was an infuriatingly nice guy. It makes sense that Shownu would go on to be a firefighter while Changkyun was the guy you called if you wanted to find out how to breach a firewall or score an ounce or cheat your way through exams.

   Luckily for him, you would eventually see reason and breakup with Shownu. Unfortunately for Changkyun, the reasoning had nothing to do with some terrible heartbreak that he would fix for you and then the two of you would ride off into the sunset. Nor would the root cause be you one day waking up and realizing that your little brother's nerdy best friend was hot with his cracking pubescent voice and rampant acne problems. No, you would break up with Shownu because you were accepted at a university far away from your middle of buttfuck nowhere small town.

   This brings Changkyun back to the present. He had somehow landed in the same university that you were now an alumnus of. Hyungwon had barely scraped into it as well, a feat that no one has really been able to understand. (The truth is that Changkyun had helped him cheat his way into the school. But hey, that's what best friends are for, right?) He's been here for a little over two years now, and none the closer to finally getting into your panties. Not that he hasn't tried. Literally, everyone else knows that he would willingly give up an organ just to go on a date with you. Everyone, that is, except you.

   "(Y/N)'s inviting us over for dinner again tonight, you coming?" Hyungwon peers over his phone for a moment, cocking an eyebrow up at Changkyun before giving a sardonic laugh. "Who am I kidding, if you had the choice between winning a million dollars and just basking in my sister's presence you'd choose her. I'll never understand why."

   "Because she's hot." Hot isn't wholly accurate. It is but a mere fragment of you. Witty, intelligent, terrifyingly strong, adorable, sharp-tongued. But somehow, Changkyun has a feeling that his best friend wouldn't find this little 'crush' all that hilarious if he spewed all of that out on him right now. So he'll keep these thoughts to himself. Playing dumb isn't something Changkyun is fond of, but he is good at.

   "I'm going to tell her you said that."

   "Please, be my guest. We both know how it's going to end. She'll probably hit you so hard upside the head that you lose your few remaining brain cells and then say something like 'stop being a dumbass.'" Changkyun can't help but let out an exasperated sigh at the sound of Hyungwon's barking laughter.

   "Yeah, you're right. When are you ever going to confess?" Ah, that's the question. The greatest question currently revolving around their collectively shared brain cells. It's not from lack of trying, it's just that you stubbornly refuse to see him as anything other than your little brother's best friend. He hates the term friend zoned and is a firm believer that dudes who use it are boring pricks who just don't know how to say what they want. But Changkyun? Well, he's been banished to the brother realm, no matter how many times he's tried to rectify it.

   "I've tried. A million fucking times. You were there last week when I asked her to go to the movies with me and she was all 'you're just using me for concession stand money.' Or the time before that when I told her that her new dress would look better on the floor and she just socked me in the arm and told me it wasn't that ugly? Or how about the time-"

   "-Christ dude, I get it. You're making me all depressed over here and I need to get a nap in before we head out for dinner. And depressed naps are the least satisfying."

   "You literally just woke up from a nap."

   "Yeah, well, it was only my second nap of the day. We all know that I need a minimum of four to function. How do you think I got to be this handsome? Beauty sleep, my friend. You should think of trying it sometime. Maybe then your ugly mug will stop scaring away my sister." Before Changkyun can respond, Hyungwon is turning over and snoring.

   "...this isn't even your room. And that's my fucking bed you lazy jerk." For a moment Changkyun contemplates picking up his pillow and smothering his best friend with it. But he figures murdering your brother will most certainly cockblock himself for life. A fate that his mere existence might already be cursed to, but he refuses to give the world more reasons to stop his one-sided love from being reciprocated.

----------------

   He would like to lie and say he didn't fret many times over what to wear before seeing you for just a simple dinner. But the truth is rather obvious the moment you take a look at the floor of his dorm. He's sure his dormmate, Jooheon, won't be very pleased about this. At the same time, he's pretty sure he'll never piss Jooheon off as much as when he woke up in the middle of the night to find Changkyun screaming at his computer screen in nothing but his birthday suit. Apparently, most men aren't that comfortable seeing other dudes naked. Especially when they're volatility angry after losing a video game. Who would have guessed?

   On the trek over to your apartment, Changkyun did what he was best at; he got lost in his own head. Visions of you fluttered through his mind's eye. In this altered reality, Hyungwon was nowhere to be seen and certainly not snoring next to him in the passenger's seat. No, in this world you had invited just him to come up for an evening tryst. He pictured you answering in a long silk robe with lacey underwear peeking out where you had it loosely tied together. Just as he was about to enter your home in his vision he could hear your dulcet tones telling him-

   "Earth to Changkyun. Come in dork. Or don't, just stand out there smiling like an idiot for all I care. But I'm not waiting on you until the food gets cold." Changkyun blinked as he took in your visage, the real you not the fictionalized caricature in his head. There was no racy cheeky lace or silk in sight, instead, you were in a plain white t-shirt and yoga pants. The real kicker though was your face, your absurdly pretty face with a look plastered on that screamed 'stop testing my patience, dumbass.'

   "My bad I just got lost in thought I guess." He stares at you for a moment, praying that maybe if he looks at you at just the right angle for just long enough you'll finally notice that he's started bulking up, shedding what was left of his baby fat and then you'll jump into his arms in pure joy. Or lust. He isn't picky. Shit, he's too desperate to be picky at this point in his life.

   "Yeah, I kind of gathered that already. So...are you coming in or not? I made way too much spaghetti, so please grab a million bowls of it if you want." He walks slowly behind you as you speak, his eyes trying not to superglue themselves onto your backside. And oh what a magnificent backside it is. He could write sonnets about it. He's pretty sure that in high school he actually did. Note to self, be sure to burn any diaries containing incriminating evidence the next time I go home.

   When Changkyun rounds the corner of your hallway he sees that Hyungwon has already made himself at home, sprawled out on your couch with an absurdly large pile of pasta on the coffee table while he browses through Netflix. Typical. Changkyun pauses for a moment as he turns in the kitchen, watching with careful eyes as you fix your own plate before sticking a fork out at him.

   "Hey, you know how this works in my place. I'm not your mom, I'm not about to fix you a plate. So get to it buddy boy." There are a few facts in life that Changkyun has come to learn due to his infatuation for you. One, he's completely whipped for you and he's okay with that. Two, he's probably a glutton for punishment with a hardon for your trucker mouth and insults. But thirdly, and most importantly, underneath your tough hardened exterior, there's a heart of gold that's softer than Wonho's plushy pile even if you refuse to admit that to the public.

   "You got it, boss, I remember the rules. You only remind me every time I'm here." He tries and fails to fight a smile at the way you roll your eyes at him.

   "Was that sass I'm hearing? That better not be sass." You grumble as you pour on a disgusting amount of parmesan before joining Hyungwon on the couch, smacking his legs away when he tries to stretch them across you. The sight shouldn't be so heartwarming to Changkyun. But here he is, smiling like a doofus as he fixes himself a plate. Hyungwon, unfortunately, looks back with an evil grin slapped onto his face before he turns back around to face his sister. Changkyun knows that look all too well. Hyungwon is about to meddle. That's the last thing Changkyun needs. Not when things are going so well. Okay, they aren't going at all but not going at all is still better than you karate chopping his throat before telling him that you see him as just another little brother.

   "So, noona, I hear you've got a date tomorrow." Deep breaths Changkyun, don't let this get to you he's probably lying.

   "What's it to you? I feel like you want something out of this. You're up to something, brat. I can sense it." Fuck, that's a yes. You're redirecting it onto Hyungwon because he's right. Changkyun's known you long enough to know your tell. He's grown used to you dating, but for some reason he's even more unhappy than normal at hearing this news.

   "Can't a little brother just make sure his older sister isn't attracting some creeps?" Everyone in the room knows that Hyungown doesn't really care about that, he's a terrible liar and has a penchant for snooping when bored. It's a terrible combination to witness when it rolls out of control.

   "What'll you do about it? I'd have better luck with Changkyun protecting me than your frail ass. Shit, you could practically blow away with one strong gust of wind." Changkyun tries not to pout at this as he finally sits down, shoveling food into his mouth to stop himself from saying anything obvious or painfully lame. Like 'I'd protect you any day noona!' Yeah, no. He'd rather shoot himself than admit that to you. With how annoyed you look right now you'd probably shred his ass to pieces. A death that's honestly preferable to dying alone in his parent's basements with the feds looking for him. (He was voted most likely to have this happen to him in his senior year.)

   "First of all, rude. I mean you're right, but rude. Second of all, have you not seen Changkyun lately? He practically lives at the gym." Changkyun could fucking kiss Hyungwon he's so happy. It's only taken him over a decade to finally be a wingman. Changkyun glances over at you to see you squinting at him as if trying to size him up.

   "I guess." That's it?? You guess? Christ almighty he really is going to die alone. "Anyway, that's beside the point. You have nothing to worry about, I can handle myself just fine thank you very much. And don't think that trying to bring up my love life will get me off your ass on your grades. Are you still failing your math class?"

   "I'm passing." Barely. He's at a solid seventy. For now. But Chankgyun isn't about to rat him out, not when he finally tried to help. "Why don't you ever ask Changkyun about his grades? Get on his ass too!" Aaaaaand the wingman has left the building.

   "That's because I know Changkyun keeps up with his studies, unlike you." He watches a sibling's quarrel break out for the next few minutes before he finally decides to speak up.

   "So, noona...who is this guy?"

   "Nobody you know. And for now, I'd like to keep it that way. Not that you brats would understand, but I'm going through a dry spell and I'd like to finally get to an oasis."

   "Gross." Hyungwon fake gags, trying to scramble away when you smack him upside his head. "Ow, ow, stop stop! And hey, ow ow ow that's my hair, Changkyun can relate!" That seems to stop your attacks for a moment, your eyes narrowing on Changkyun as if trying to sniff out the truth.

   "You guys are in your college heydays, shouldn't you be getting laid all the time? And aside from that whatever happened to that girl? What was her name, Jessica? No Samantha? No wait..."

   "Apple. Her name was Apple." Hyungwon pipes in to save his sister from going down the list of conquests in the last few years. Listen, Changkyun was in love with you. That doesn't mean he didn't still make it a point to get laid sometimes. It's not like he's actually in a relationship with you. Unfortunately.

   "Christ I was way off. Anyway, yeah whatever happened to her? Did you guys break up?"

   Changkyun tries to shrug it off, but before he can answer Hyungwon is interjecting. "They were more like casual friends with benefits. Until she finally let him turn on the light one night."

   "She didn't let you bone with the lights on?" You whip around to question him, but once again Hyungwon steals the light.

   "Nope, anyway so he turns on the light and goes down on her and he says that he saw an-"

   "Okay, time to cut this off. I swore you to secrecy asshole, imagine how you'd feel if some chick was spilling to her friends about your junk?"

   "Wait, wait. What was wrong with her junk?"

   "Catch this, she had like, an elephant trunk for a clit. It was just long flaps of skin like a second labia attached there. He tried googling pictures to find anything like it, but nothing."

   "Holy shit, what did you do? Wait, wait no I don't want to know. I don't even want to think of you having sex, that's just gross." If Changkyun had any feelings left in him he's pretty sure he'd be hurt by that. But as it stands, he's grown numb to the hellhole that is this moment. He takes back everything he said earlier about Hyungwon, he wishes he had indeed smothered him to death with a pillow.

   "Gee, thanks, you two. Also, need I remind you Hyungwon, but making fun of people for things they can't control is mean."

   "Says the asshole who asked the poor girl 'what is that?'"

   "Is it possible that you just...don't know what a clit looks like?" Changkyun takes back all earlier statements on being numb because now he can feel annoyance and rage bubbling through his veins.

   "I know what a fucking clit looks like. It wasn't my first rodeo, okay." He tosses a pillow at Hyungwon when the screeching laughter becomes unbearable. Et tu, Brute? Et tu?

   "Okay, wait, I can't just hear elephant clit and walk away. I need more details." Changkyun sighs, caving into your puppy eyes like the sucker he is.

   "Okay, first of all, this never fucking leaves the room. I don't ever want to hear you guys bring this up to anyone else, it's not cool. It was just...giant. I'll summarise, she was taking steroids to try to keep up with the other gymnasts and there were some unexpected side effects."

   "Wait, steroids for gymnastics? Is that even allowed?" Changkyun just shrugs at your question, trying to mentally throw himself into a daydream where you don't question his sexual prowess or where Hyungwon doesn't bring up his worst sexual moment to date. "I have so many questions for her-" you throw up a hand at the glare Changkyun throws you, "-but I won't. Trust me, I wouldn't want some dude spilling the beans about me like that either. I feel like I have to go scrub myself clean from all this sin now."

   "Changkyun can join you-ow hey wait! I can't breathe!" It only takes you a fraction of a second to get Hyungwon in a chokehold and Changkyun just smirks at his misery. That little shit deserves it. He went from being the best wingman ever to the biggest fucking rat in just a few minutes. He probably should have expected that though.

---------------

   That night Changkyun tossed and turned, his brain swirling around too quickly to fall into a restful sleep. His thoughts kept returning to one particular moment with you years ago, shortly after he had entered high school. He had been "struggling" with his English class, and his parents had enlisted your help in tutoring him to get his C minus up to their expectation of straight A's again. It ended up being a win-win, as you were struggling a bit in your coding class and he was a young teenager who spent far too much time on his Myspace page, he was the perfect person to help.

    "Changkyun, you're overthinking this again. I need you to shut the fuck up for five seconds and listen to me: the essay topic is about why you think Victor created the monster. Not about Mary Shelly's fucked up relationships, stay on topic here." He watches you spin around in your computer chair a few times before throwing your pencil at his forehead. "Are you listening, dork?"

   He wasn't. It was really hard to pay attention to anything when you were looking at him like that. Plush lips. Soft thighs. Bra strap falling down on your left shoulder. You were a work of art aptly titled 'temptation.' "Yeah, I'm listening." He paused, rewinding his mental tape. Right, essay topic. Relationship. "They were kind of sort of lovers."

   "You aren't completely wrong, but the teacher is lame and will disagree unless you go hard on this idea. So why do you think that Frankenstein and his creation are lovers? Or at least, that there's a homoerotic subtext in their relationship?"

   "Well, Victor Frankenstein had to marry his, like, sister cousin right? But it's really obvious that he didn't love her, and not for the gross incest reasons but more because he wasn't into chicks. So he creates this monster, this absolutely hideous man in an effort to kill off his gay desires. Except it doesn't work. Because it feels like he and that one dude, Henry, are totally banging during the voyage. Frankenstein's creation is one big metaphor for his gay desires and that's why he refuses to name him and that's why he wants to kill him even though the monster has done nothing wrong really." Changkyun watches you light up, moving in closer and nodding along as he continues.

   "Exactly! You're a smart cookie, kid."

   "Don't call me kid. I'm not a kid, Noona." He wanted to scream when you rolled your eyes at him. He was fourteen, just four years younger than you. But in high school that made a world of difference, unfortunately for him.

   "You are a kid, twerp. Now back on topic, you have a clear thesis but you need to make sure your argument is strong. You need to back this up with as many quotes as you can. And all those weird relationships Mary Shelly had that you were talking about earlier? Well, use those too. Her life will help strengthen your argument. You need to stop looking at papers as these boring outlines that you just have to throw together. I want you to look at it like you're about to stand on stage and win an argument in front of the whole school. That's how you write a solid paper."

   Changkyun nodded quietly, still slightly offended that you had just called him a kid and a twerp just moments prior. "Hey, Noona? You're really good at this. Do you want to be, like, a lawyer or something?"

   "Ew, gross no. That sounds so stuffy and boring. No, I'm going to be a linguistic anthropologist. I read about it, and it sounds so cool. It's about studying language and cultures and stuff. You know the field is dominated by women? Isn't that, like, so rad?" You gave another spin in your chair before suddenly stopping and staring at him rather conspiratorially. "Words are really interesting. For instance, it's a fact that you're just a kid but you get really angry when I call you that. Why is that? Is it because you're placed in a category of submission and it's a reminder of your place on the hierarchy? Or is it because your teenage rebellion has started to kick in and it makes you resent authority figures?"

   "Isn't that basically the same question just reworded?" You cackle at his question but you don't answer him. He waits for you to finish laughing before speaking again. "Well, I think it's really cool that you want to do that. And I think you'll be great at it. Even if your theories are a bit half baked right now."

   "Thanks, Kkungie. I really appreciate that coming from you. You're like my number two supporter. Behind Shownu, of course." He realizes at that moment that he doesn't hate being called kid by you because of age hierarchies or whatever bullshit you just spewed. No, he hates being called kid by you because it's a glaring reminder that you're so out of reach. The ever unobtainable temptation. He vowed then that someday, he'd make sure you'd see him as a man.

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   Changkyun was sick of cafeteria food and damn tired of making instant ramen in his dorm, so for a change of pace, he decided to meander away from the university and over to the nearest Mexican restaurant. It was a little more than he was comfortable with paying for tacos, but he figured that the salivation inducing pork belly would be worth it. He still had last night playing on repeat in his head, that look of complete and utter disgust on your face at the mere mention of Changkyun having sex. Okay, well to be fair it was actually a really gross subject. You just can't make elephant trunk shaped clits sexy. It's just not possible. Damn Hyungwon! If only he had kept his mouth running on about these sweet new abs. Maybe then you wouldn't have laughed your head off and told him that he didn't know what a clit is. He really wishes that he could have just said something cocky like, "I can prove to you that I do" but he knows that would have resulted in either an armbar or a chokehold.

   He's still ruminating in anger when he steps into the restaurant, waiting for the hostess to come around so he can pick up his to-go order he already placed. His eyes lazily scan over the restaurant until they stop on you. This time you're not in your usual home attire of couch-potato activewear. No, you've pulled out all the stops. Your hair is done to perfection, you have on a full face of meticulously applied makeup, and you're wearing a tight little black dress that hugs all your curves. Or at least the curves that he can see from your waist up in the booth. You don't spot him staring at you, thank god. His eyes quickly swivel to the back of the head of the guy sitting across from you.

   He can't see anything other than the back of his head, but he can tell something about this guy is off. Changkyun has known you long enough now that he can read your facial expressions like a book, and right now you're saying that you want to set yourself on fire so you can get out of the restaurant. Before he can make any rash decisions to rush over and play knight-in-shining-armor the hostess pops up in front of him.

   "Table for one?"

   "Oh, no, I'm just here to pick up my order to go. It's under Changkyun."

   "Okay, let me see if it's ready yet." He watches the hostess disappear before his eyes swivel right back to the booth. You seem to be making a break for it, running straight into the direction that he can only assume is the bathrooms. Or maybe you'll try to escape out of the fire exit. You do look desperate enough to try. He's about to make his way towards where you disappeared to when the hostess makes her prompt return with a bag of food. He hastily grabs it, thanking her before immediately heading off towards your general direction. It doesn't take long before he finds himself in the hallway directly in front of the women's restroom with you nowhere in sight. He has a couple of options. He could either wait it out or he could walk away. But something in his gut tells him that he needs to wait for you, that for whatever reason either there are no windows for you to crawl out of or you're trying to give yourself a pep talk into braving out a clearly shitty date.

   Very little time passes before Changkyun finds out that he made the right decision. You're glued to your phone as you step out, almost walking right past him before he calls out to you. "You need some help?"

   He watches you jump back slightly, almost tripping in your high heels when you turn to face him. He's hoping that he looks cool, leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed and his eyebrow quirked. He's guessing that with your deer in headlights reaction that he probably looks more lecherous than cool, unfortunately. "Christ, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?"

   He waves his to-go bag for a second before nodding his head in the direction of your table. "You looked like you were praying that the earth would swallow you whole so you could get out of that bore-fest. Do you want some help?"

   "What do you mean help? I can take care of myself just fine." You sniff in indignation but you still haven't walked away just yet, and that tells Changkyun that your pride doesn't want to admit that he's right.

   "Listen, noona, you clearly don't want to continue that date. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll walk away. But tell me that you just need some help and I can weasel you out of the situation. You know I'm good for it." He tries to bite back a smile as you chew on your cheek while thinking over his offer.

   "Okay, so the dude creeps me out. There's just something off about this. I've met him a few times. He's a friend of a friend of a friend type of situation. We've talked a little bit after he hit me up on Instagram and he seemed pretty normal, right? But then we get here and he just keeps talking about my skin. About how much he loves my skin and how pretty it is and he keeps trying to hold my hand and like...rub my skin. It's fucking weird and I would rather be run over by a semi-truck than have to endure another one of his sweaty hand-holding moments. Just promise me this, you never speak about this to Hyungwon. I mean it. Boy's a fucking blabbermouth and I don't want to hear about this for the next ten years."

   "Deal." Changkyun sticks out his hand for the two of you to shake on it before he continues speaking. "I have a plan, just go back to the table and act like everything is fine. I'll be over in a minute."

   "If that motherfucker tries to hold my hand again before you get back I swear to god-"

   "I've got this. Just trust me already." He gives a couple of pats to your head before pointing back to your table. "Come on, go. I'm sure he's probably already convinced you're taking a massive shit or something."

   You scoff, muttering something about how he's such a brat as you finally wander back. Now it's time for him to set his quickly thought up plan in motion. He gives it a few moments, scrolling through Instagram before finally making his entrance. He imagines badass escape music playing in the background, visualizing himself as Jason Bourne or Tom Cruise or that dude from Prison Break. Except in this scenario, he's leading someone else to their freedom. A man on a mission. As he rounds the corner and nears your table he can see the villain. He's not ugly, but he's shooting way out of his league aiming for you. The dude's a solid five, plain and boring in every single aspect.

   "Did your mother age well? Because I can see skin like yours as aging flawlessly. It really is perfection. How often do you see an aesthetician if you don't mind me-"

   "(Y/N)? Is that you? Holy shit, it is you. Baby, I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry, I know I fucked up but I'd do anything to get you back. Anything, I mean it." He watches your eye twitch for a moment, a look of pure annoyance stealing over your features before you break out into impromptu theatrical genius.

   "Oh my god, Changkyun I...I never expected to see you here. I...I don't know what to say. It's been so long. I mean, the last time I saw you was when I went back home to see my parents and you were hooking up with Apple, the local juice stand girl whose parents oddly enough owned an orange grove. We don't even have the right climate for an apple orchard. She was the forbidden fruit and yet you took from her."

   "Yeah, well I guess Citron makes for a weirder girls name so they ended up deciding on Apple. But I swear baby, I'm done with that. I wish I had never met her. I'd give up my spleen just to try to make you smile again."

   "Excuse me, but we're in the middle of a date."

   "Oh really? I'm...I'm so sorry it's just that-" Changkyun slides into the booth next to you, grabbing your hand as he speaks, "-you see sir I've always been in love with this girl. Ever since the first time I saw her back on her daddy's ranch I just knew she was the one for me. The way she used to light up as she collected all those eggs-"

   "-Excuse me, but I believe I just said we're on a date. If you could please let go of her hand, you're tainting her perfect skin." Holy Christ, this dude's probably a serial killer. Changkyun is expecting him to break out into Hannibal Lecter quotes any moment now.

   "I'm...I'm sorry. I guess...I guess I can't take back what I've done. I was terrible to you, (Y/N). I'm so sorry. I wish I could get another chance, but I can see I'm not wanted here." Changkyun hangs his head sorrowfully, giving a small fake sob before flinging himself out of the booth. "But I promise you, I would treat you right. This city slicker boy don't know how to handle a girl like you-"

   "Okay that's enough buddy, move along."

   "Well excuse me, but I'm trying to have a meaningful last goodbye with the woman I love. Have you no heart, sir? I just...I just wanted to make my peace. Try one last time. Love is a beautiful thing and I know that I ruined it but gosh darn it how can I walk away from the best yodeler I've ever met?"

   "Nobody but my Daddy has ever thought my yodeling was any good. You really mean that Kkungie?" You stand up dramatically, clutching onto your chest as you try to move closer to Changkyun but your date quickly interjects.

   "Woah, woah, woah. I didn't sign up for this, come on man just let me finish my fucking date in peace. Go home, no one wants to hear your bullshit about orange or whatever her name was and her fucking yodeling."

   "Don't you badmouth my yodeling, Jason! It has a special place in my heart! Come on Changkyun, let's go." Changkyun grins when you grab his hand, but before he can turn around and ride off into the sunset with you he gets cold-cocked by your creepy skin loving date. Right in the jaw.

   "What the fuck dude?" Changkyun stands in between you and the guy, cracking his neck and rubbing at his already swelling jaw before staring him down. He's slightly taller but certainly lighter than Changkyun. "I'm going to give you a few seconds to walk away before I destroy your face to the point that even your own mother won't want to look at you."

   "Do you really think that you can take-" Changkyun doesn't wait for him to finish before punching him square in the face, a startling crack wringing through the air when his knuckles make contact with Jason's nose.

   "Okay, time to go. Let's move it." Changkyun wraps his hand back around you, trying to pull you forward only to find you stationary staring in shock at the scene that just unfolded. "Christ, we need to move it (Y/N)." He waits only a few more seconds before throwing you over his shoulder. "I am not waiting around for cops. I have an ounce on me and I really don't need that kind of stress in my life."

   He books it out of the restaurant as fast as he can, pushing past the confused hostess and ignoring the shouts of whatever his name was coming from behind him. Good god do you owe him now. His jaw smarts, his knuckles are bruised, and he's currently carrying you over his shoulder while trying to run to his car as fast as possible. If this doesn't prove that he loves you, he doesn't know what will. Especially when you consider that he left his fucking tacos at your booth. Well, this is just shaping up to be a fan-fucking-tastic evening.

   He throws open his car door, setting you down on the ground of the passenger side before quickly jogging back over and slamming into the driver's side. "Noona, what the fuck, come on! I don't have all goddamn day!" The sound of Changkyun screaming seems to break you out of your dazed trance, quickly fumbling into the seat and closing the door as he peels out of the parking lot.

   "Drive to my place first please."

   "That was the plan. Also, why are you saying please? This isn't a fucking uber dude."

   "Can't I be polite sometimes?" Changkyun just snorts at that, tapping his fingers on the wheel in impatience when he pulls up to a red light. "Hey, um. Thanks by the way. I mean, I feel there were smarter ways you could have gone about that than pulling the 'old flame' routine out of your ass but I really appreciate your help."

   "Yeah well, I'm not the one who came up with the fucking hick routine. I mean really, Apple? Forbidden fruit? What the fuck was with that?"

   "I kind of just wanted to see how you'd run with it. I wasn't expecting you to go full force with it. Now I'm going to have to retire my yodeling career before I could even start it."

   "It's a shame, I know your daddy was so proud of it."

   "Oh shut it, smart ass." He glances over to see you staring out the window, brain going a million miles a minute as usual. That's how you've always been, in a state of constant thought. He's pretty sure that beyond the immense sexual attraction he has to you the real reason why he always gets pulled into your gravitational force is that you're much like him in that sense. Always trying to see twenty steps ahead, find every possible angle and solution and rework a problem over and over until you see every single way it can all go wrong. It's that same exhaustive thinking that helped you to graduate early and top of your class not just with your bachelors but with your masters just a year after Changkyun started University. It's what makes you uniquely you, but also oddly relatable. You're one of the few people that can keep up with Changkyun, perhaps even remain a few steps ahead of him at all times.

   "You're clearly thinking about something. Do you want to talk about it?"

   "Why did you help me?"

   "Because you're my friend."

   "I mean, yeah. But you just got decked in the fucking face and went on a tirade about your love of my yodeling just to get me out of a shitty date." Changkyun parks in front of your apartment as you speak, a small silence settling over for a moment when he turns off the car.

   "Listen, I wasn't about to just leave you alone with Hannibal for him to cut off your skin and eat it like pork rinds, okay. Friends help friends." He's not entirely lying. He's not telling the whole truth either, but he's hoping it'll be enough to get you off his back. He can tell by the way the gears inside your head are grinding that it's not enough to satisfy you, but for whatever reason, you leave it be for the moment.

   "Well, come on." You climb out of the car, staring at him when he stays stationary. "Are you going to let me put ice on your jaw or not? Besides, you never did get a chance to eat those tacos, at least let me feed you. I think I've got some leftovers you can eat."

   "As long as you don't feed me ramen, I'm fine with that." He follows you quietly to the apartment. Should he have just finally admitted his unrequited love to you then in the car? Do you know and you were just waiting for him to say something? Or do you have an inkling, perhaps suspecting and you're trying to figure out what exactly is going on?

   "Dude, why do you always freeze at my door?" Changkyun blinks, realizing you've already unlocked the door and the look on your face says that the two of you have been standing there for a hot minute.

   "Lost in thought?"

   "What's new." You sigh, ushering him inside before locking the door back behind you again. He stands awkwardly in your kitchen as you rummage around in the freezer before finally pulling out a bag of peas and walking back over to him. "This is going to be cold."

   "Gee, really? I thought it would be scorching hot, having just come out of the freezer and all."

   "Can it, mister. This is my house, which means that I'm the one that gets to be the sarcastic brat. Not you." He snorts in response, flinching slightly under the feeling of the cold bag pressing against his swollen skin. He tries his best to look straight ahead, away from your prying eyes. But try as he might, he's weak to your magnetic gaze. For a moment it's like the world stops, it's almost as though for the first time you're really seeing Changkyun. Not your brother's best friend. Not the snot-nosed brat next door. Not some questionable chemistry major. For once you're looking at him like the man he's become. He can see it in the spark in your eyes, hear it in the hitch of your breath, feel it in the way your hand shakes slightly while trying to hold up the bag of peas.

   And for the first time in his life, Changkyun feels his brain halt functioning. Everything becomes silent, frozen under your stare. As if there's nothing to think about, nothing to worry about. He almost wants to say something, do something. But he's terrified that if does the spell will break, he'll turn into a pumpkin, and you'll go right back to treating him like a little brother. But his eyes betray his decision to do nothing, and he knows you see his gaze flicker down to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes. You never do miss a beat, in fact, he's always questioned how in the fuck you've managed to remain oblivious to his infatuation with you for so long. Unless it's willful ignorance. It's the only thing that makes sense. Which is why he's even more confused by the sensation of your soft lips pressing onto his.

   It's feather light, over in an instant, but he chases after the sensation. One hand wraps into your hair to pull you back for more. You taste like cilantro and flour tortillas and steak, and maybe it's because he's really fucking hungry but he can't get enough. Of the way you taste, the way you feel, the way you sigh softly into his mouth when his free hand presses you closer to him, gripping onto your hips. He'd gladly be punched in the face a thousand times if the end result was you kissing away his wounds each time. Christ, he's dreamed of this moment for so long he was terrified that it wouldn't be that amazing in real life but it's even better. Way better.

   But good things never seem to last long for Changkyun anymore. Because when his dick springs to life you suddenly seem to come back to reality, pulling away with a look of utter confusion and shock. A look at stark odds with the dazed bliss he's sure is playing on his face.

   "This...I'm sorry I...I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what I was thinking. We really shouldn't, um I should. Yeah. I should get the food for you. Um, here just uh hold this to your jaw to stop the swelling. Do you want some ibuprofen or anything before you eat? Are you good? Maybe some water? I'm sure you're thirsty. I can't believe I didn't ask you earlier if you wanted some water."

   In all 14 years of knowing you, he's never once seen you in such a state. He really didn't see this twist coming. He expected you to want to do backflips with him or sing praises to the heavens and then maybe hopefully screw his brains out. Instead, you look horrified, confused, lost, and possibly sickened by what just transpired. Which is just as heartbreaking to him as it is infuriating. If there is a god, he's cruel and unjust. That much Changkyun is certain of right now.

   He watches you zip around the kitchen, flitting from thing to thing for the next few minutes before he finally speaks up. "Are you okay?"

   "Peachy, perfectly fine. Why wouldn't I be okay? It's not like I just made out with my little brother's best friend in my kitchen after he got punched in the face by my possible serial killer date." You top off your jibbering with a high pitched and short-lived laugh. As if to really bring it home to Changkyun that you've officially thrown yourself off the cliff and dived into insanity.

   "I mean...I'm kind of more than just your little brother's best friend. I am my own sentient entity separate from Hyungwon. We aren't like...fucking conjoined twins. And it's not like we're actually related. But yeah that dude did seem like he was going to skin you alive, so I won't argue there." You ignore him, rummaging around the fridge before aggressively slamming a leftover bowl of soup into the microwave. Well, this is just going swimmingly. "(Y/N)...noona, come on. Just talk to me, please."

   "What do you want me to say Changkyun? I fucked up. We fucked up. And it's never going to happen again. I can't let it happen again. It's just...it's not right."

   "Why? Why isn't it right?"

   "Because it just isn't!" He watches you angrily ruffle your hair before spinning back around to face the microwave, your foot tapping away impatiently as the seconds slowly roll by.

   "Fine. Whatever. Listen, keep your dinner. I'll figure something out. I'll catch you some other time." He's out the door before you can respond. It's petty of him, he knows this. He knows he should have waited for you to respond, try to talk this out. Express his real feelings. Explain to you that he doesn't see this as just some random kiss. No, this was much much more for him. But he's angry, confused, and heartbroken so really he's pretty sure taking some time to cool off would be the smartest thing for him to do right now.

--------

   "Dude, what the fuck happened to your face?" It's moments like this that Changkyun really wishes he just had his own space. He actually really likes his dormmate, he's become fast friends with him which is rather unusual for Changkyun. But he just isn't in the mood for any human beings right now.

   "Long story." Changkyun tosses the extra sandwich at Jooheon before flopping down on his bed. He really should have just gotten some tacos again, but somehow they seemed tainted. Worthless. Kind of like him.

   "Descriptive. Not at all cryptic." Changkyun rolls his eyes before glancing over at Jooheon. Maybe it would do some good to tell him. Unlike Hyungwon he won't fall asleep in the middle of explaining everything, although right now he's not sure he really wants to spill his heart out to someone who's going to pay attention.

   "You know (Y/N)?"

   "Hyungwon's sister? The chick you've been obsessed with your whole life? Yeah, you've only brought her up more than a thousand times. What about her? She finally turn you down or something?"

   "How do you know that she didn't confess to being madly in love with me tonight?"

   "You might have the emotional range of a rock most of the time, but I'm pretty sure even you wouldn't be moody and depressed if she suddenly decided that she was into you. Besides, there's kind of that seriously swollen jaw of yours."

   "Fair enough."

   "So what happened?" Jooheon turns back around to resume typing up his paper as he speaks.

   "She kissed me." Changkyun can hear the typing halt almost immediately, silence filling the room for a moment before Jooheon responds.

   "She kissed you?" Jooheon repeats this slowly as if the words seem foreign or the concept impossible. Changkyun glares at Jooheon. Anger and humiliation bubbling up at the sound of complete and utter surprise in Jooheon's voice.

   "Yeah, and then she freaked the fuck out. Said that it was a mistake and she couldn't do this. Said that I was basically her little brother and it was wrong and some other shit."

   "And then she punched you in your face?"

   "What? No. Why would you think that?"

   "Oh, I don't know it might possibly have something to do with the giant bruise forming on your jaw."

   "Right. That. No that happened because I busted her out of a shitty date with some dude who wouldn't shut the fuck up about her skin."

   "Her skin?"

   "Yeah, he was a total basket case. I just happened to be there and noticed how she looked totally miserable so I helped bail her out. Except the dude wasn't too happy about it. Long story short, I got sucker punched. I think I broke his nose. We made a run for it. And then she kissed me when we were at her place and I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to the brother zone for the rest of my life."

   "Please for the love of god stop calling it the brother zone. It sounds creepy and very Alabama."

   "Fine. Whatever, she freaked out okay."

   "So what did you do?"

   "I left. What the fuck else was I supposed to do?"

   "I don't know. Tell her your feelings maybe?"

   "I didn't exactly want to spill my guts to her in a fit of rage."

   "Yeah...I guess I get that. So are you going to tell Hyungwon?"

   "Fuck no. And neither are you. Dude doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut. He's almost as bad as Minhyuk."

   "That's valid. Alright, I won't say anything. But if you need to talk to anybody, I'm here for you bro." If Changkyun had any capacity to feel his emotions left in him, he's pretty sure he'd be touched right now. As it stands though, he's just kind of hoping to wake up and realize that this was all just a shitty dream.

--------------

   It wasn't just a shitty dream. No, in some sick and twisted way he had you for just a fraction of a second before you're even further out of reach. It reminds him of a time that he was so close once before. It was about a year ago, towards the end of his Freshman year.

    You had just completed your capstone for your masters and you were holding a small celebration at your apartment with your closest friends. Once again, Changkyun had felt a bit like the odd kid out of the loop, straying away from human interaction in favor of sipping his cheap shitty beer in peace and quiet out on the patio. It's not that he didn't like parties, he just never knew how he was supposed to behave. Especially when he was around you. For some reason, he was perpetually nervous that he'd seem like the uncool dweeb who was your pity friend. You constantly told him that wasn't true whenever he'd bring it up but isn't that exactly what you'd tell someone who was only your friend because you felt bad for them?

   Hyungwon was convinced that Changkyun was on his man period, and while he'd tried to drag him back into the party a few times he'd clearly given up about an hour ago. That was perfectly fine with Changkyun. He'd had his own finals to contend with, and honestly, his brain was too fried to focus on a conversation for long. At least, he was sure of that until you stepped out onto the patio with two beers in your hand. You silently handed one to him before popping open the other and sipping from it. Somehow, you always knew how to find him. And he appreciated that you never chastised him for doing his own thing away from everyone else. "I know you hate coming to parties. But I really appreciate that you came. Don't tell anyone else, but I think you're my favorite guest here tonight."

   "I don't hate them. Hate's a strong word. Shouldn't you know that ms 'I'm about to get my masters in linguistics?'"

    "I can't believe it. That I'm finally here, that I've reached my goal. It feels like just yesterday you were helping me pack everything up to start university and pilfering my underwear. And now I'm getting my masters."

   "I didn't steal your underwear!" He knew that his bright red face gave away his lie. He totally stole a few pairs. But he isn't about to admit that. He knows it's...incredibly creepy. Crosses a lot of boundaries. But to be fair, these were clean pairs. He also would never in a million years do it again. He lacked impulse control then, but that doesn't save him from the burning embarrassment he's feeling now. Oh god. You probably think he's a closet perv.

   "It's fine. I thought it was funny. Don't worry, I never told anyone about it. If anyone else had done it, I would've been pissed. But for some reason, it's impossible to be mad at you. Maybe he was right."

   "Who was right? About what?" He hated when you got cryptic on him. At the same time, he loved that about you. The way you lived in a world of puzzles and riddles and sometimes cracked open for only certain people to see. It was as infuriating as it was attractive.

   You took a long pause before guzzling down the rest of your beer, staring off over the patio before speaking just above a whisper. "You know...in another life, maybe we would be great. Two fucked up peas in a pod." Before he could even respond you were gone, slipping back into the party and leaving him to dwell on the weight of your words. In another life? No. You'd be great together in this one. And now he wanted, more than ever before, to prove that to you. Because now he feels like he might really have a shot at this.

--------------

   It's been nearly two months since Changkyun last saw you. This is the longest he's gone without seeing your face with the exception of the three years he was in high school and you were in University if you don't count the weekly skype calls. At this point, he's run out of excuses and it's clear that Hyungwon is suspicious. He was given little choice but to either expose what happened to his best friend and be mocked for the rest of his existence, or finally go with him for Sunday brunch again. Which is how Changkyun finds himself standing in front of your door, fidgeting restlessly and trying not to imagine every doom and gloom possibility.

   Changkyun fights the urge to run away when you open the door, your mouth falling open in shock for a moment before you plaster on an uncomfortable smile and usher both of them in.

   "It's been a while Kkungie. What mayhem have you been up to?"

   "He's been an oddly good boy. A total square dweeb. I keep trying to get him to come hang out, but he's been doing nothing but studying." Hyungwon pipes up, grabbing a slice of quiche without asking before he meanders over to his usual spot on the couch.

   "You could learn something from him. There is more to life than sleep and girls."

   "Laaaaaame. I came here for free food and Netflix, and honestly, I am feeling so attacked right now."

   Changkyun shakes his head at the bickering, relaxing a bit as he grabs a plate. Everything seems like it's gone right back to normal. As if you didn't kiss him and then have an existential crisis just a couple of months ago. Changkyun isn't sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Then again, he wasn't really expecting for you to leap into his arms and throw yourself at him the moment you finally saw him again. Hoping for it, sure. Expecting it, not really. The odds of it were slim to none and Changkyun is, unfortunately, a realist through and through.

   The feeling of eyes on him has Changkyun glancing up, you look oddly unsure of yourself for a moment before quickly looking away. He swears that he sees a slight blush on your cheeks, but maybe that's just that stupid bit of hope in him that refuses to fucking die already. Life would be so much easier for him if he could just move on already. It would probably be easier for you too. But the heart wants what the heart wants, no matter how ridiculous or improbable it is.

   After that small moment, the rest of the time seems to pass by easily. Comfortably. Normally. He likes to think of himself as a master of deception at this point. A man completely in control of his own emotions. Because really all he wants to do is kiss you again. He didn't think that he'd be this obsessive with it, but seeing you again has his memories playing on a loop. How soft you were, how quickly you switched from hesitance to hunger before it all went downhill. Really fucking downhill. Straight into the ocean actually.

   "Shit, I forgot I have a date." Hyungwon's bizarre spike of energy has both you and Changkyun freezing.

   "With who? Your hand?" Changkyun tries, and fails, at not laughing at your jab to Hyungwon.

   "Rude, unlike you, I'm not having problems getting laid. If you must know, I have a date with Lisa. And I'm about to be really fucking late. Changkyun, can I borrow your keys?"

   "Just my keys? I would have figured that you'd want the car that comes with those keys too."

   "Har har jackass. Can I borrow your car or not?"

   "Why not just borrow mine?" You pipe up, nodding your head in the direction of your key ring resting on the kitchen counter.

   "Because the backseat of your car is always a mess of random clothes."

   "Okay, that's just gross. I didn't need that visual."

   "What? I didn't say anything gross." Hyungwon tries to play coy but the damage has been done.

   "You basically alluded to fucking your date in the back of a car to your sister."

   "Et tu, Brute? Et tu? Fine, just for that, need I remind you of the time you got caught sleeping with Rose in the park?" Changkyun rolls his eyes before digging his keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Hyungwon.

   "Thanks for just airing all my shit out. Again." Changkyun rolls his eyes before digging his keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Hyungwon. "You know the rules. If you're going to have sex in it, get it detailed before you bring it back."

   "Yeah, that's not going to happen. The detailing, that is. Later losers." Before either of them can respond he's out the door. He might usually move at a snail's pace, but when he wants to the lanky little shit can certainly move fast.

   "Does he do that a lot?"

   "Run his mouth? Yeah. Have you never met your brother?"

   "No, use your car for exhibitionism."

   "Way more often than I care to think about."

   "I'm never sitting in the backseat again."

   "It's a wise choice." An uncomfortable silence fills the air for a moment before he finally tries to speak up. "So-"

   "I was-" Both of you stop, and he fights a smile at the way you laugh. You've never had a particularly cute laugh. It's one of those cackle-snort-choke laughs that makes everyone else pause for a moment when they hear it. It's endearing. Heartwarming. God, he's missed even your ugly laugh. He's definitely whipped. "Sorry, you first."

   "I was just going to ask how you've been. If you're okay." Changkyun stares at the floor as he speaks, afraid to look you directly in the eyes.

   "What?"

   "Well, I just kind of dipped while you were in the middle of an existential crisis which wasn't cool of me. I'm sorry about that. And then I've been blowing things off because I figured you needed your space, but I want you to know that I have been concerned. I care about you, you know. So I'm sorry for running away. And I want to know, are you okay?"

   He watches you slowly blink when he finally glances up, the gears grinding a million miles a minute in your head before you finally speak again. "I've been...I've been okay. Confused. Unsure. Scared."

   "None of that sounds okay."

   You give a snort, shaking your head as you look at him. For a moment he swears he sees that fire again. That look that tells him that you're looking at him, looking into his soul. Figuring him out. Reading him. Wanting him. He likes that look far too much for his own good, especially because it's over in a flash. Almost imperceptible. He's sure that if he didn't know you as well as he does he wouldn't have even noticed it. He guesses he's not the only master of deception. "Listen, you weren't the only one that fucked up. I shouldn't have freaked out on you like that. I'm the adult, I shouldn't have taken it all out on you like that. I'm sorry for that."

   "We're both adults. Stop acting like your this old sage grandmother, you're only four fucking years older than me. I know that I'm a bit of an oddball, and I might not be like all the guys you date with their own places and a steady career, but I am an adult."

   "In the eyes of the law sure." That stung way more than it should have, and he knows that for a moment his mask breaks and you can see the pain flash in his eyes by the way you rush to fix your fuck up. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I just. I have a hard time seeing you as all grown up. The same way I have a hard time seeing Hyungwon as anything other than my stupid little brother who always stole my video games."

   "So what exactly do I need to do to make you see me as a man? Not some little boy, not your little brother's best friend. Just me."

   "I don't think I understand what you're asking."

   "Noona, you know exactly what I fucking mean. Do I need to spell it out? Because I will if that's what you want. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. And I know you might see it as just some dumb crush, but trust me. It's not. I want you, all of you. And I don't know what I need to do for you to finally see me as a worthy candidate for you, but whatever I need to do I will. We both know that I'm stubborn as hell, so if you don't tell me what I need to do don't think that I'll just give up."

   "I...what?" You stop, freezing under his stare for what feels like eons before you finally manage to speak again. "I don't know what to say. I don't know."

   "Well think about it. Because I'm not going to back down easily. Tell me that you don't want me, tell me that you aren't at all interested and I'll back off. But if there's even the slightest fucking chance that I can get you to finally see me for me and not just your little brother's best friend I'm not about to back down. I'm a patient man, I've waited this long to get you to even think about it. I have no problems with waiting longer if it means getting you at the end." He doesn't like to think of himself as a cocky man, and he knows that if you've ever paid a lick of attention to him in all these years you'll know he only speaks when he knows he can back it up. He watches you closely, trying to gauge your reaction but your face seems completely blank. He isn't sure if this is in his favor or against it. Whatever the case might be, he's finally said what he's needed to say.

   "I'm still not sure what to say. Or think. I had no clue that you felt that way."

   "We both know that's bullshit. You had to have known, you aren't that dense of a person."

   "That's a valid point. But I just assumed that...I don't know that you were just like every other dumb horny boy out there. I didn't think that there was anything deeper to it. I'm just...speechless. I can't give you any answers right now Changkyun, I'm sorry."

   "That's okay. I don't need answers right now. I told you, I'm a patient dude. Just do me a favor and think about it." He grabs the dishes left on the coffee table and brings them back to the kitchen, rinsing them off silently before throwing them in the dishwasher. He has no interest, truly, in doing the dishes to get brownie points. No the real reason why he's done this is because it gives him a prime and unobtrusive view of you. The way you sink slightly into confusion, cogs moving slowly as the calculations begin. This is good, this means that you're thinking about it. You aren't simply blowing him off as you usually would. Perhaps he does stand a chance.

   Changkyun watches you for a moment longer before clearing his throat. "Well, I appreciate the food. I'm going to head back now, I've got some papers I want to finish up." That's a lie, he's been caught up on everything for weeks now. Now that he hasn't been spending any time at your place or going to parties he's been working as far ahead as he can. He figures though that it's a simple enough of a lie that you'll believe him. Which is important, because he needs a way to give you some space without making things awkward.

   "How are you going to get back? Hyungwon took your car. Do you want me to drive you?"

   "Nah, it's no biggie. I can just skip going to the gym today and walk instead."

   "No, no I insist. Either we wait for my dipshit brother to come back or I'll drive you. But I don't feel right with making you walk."

   "It's two miles, I'll survive. I promise. On cardio days I usually run for five, trust me, I'll be okay." He watches you glare at him, your mouth opening and closing repeatedly before you finally sigh and nod.

   "Fine. You know you can really be stubborn when you want to."

   "I know. I go for what I want and I usually try to find a way to get it. You, for instance. That's at least the big picture goal."

   "What do you mean big picture goal?"

   "Jesus, Noona, I meant what I said earlier. I'm not just thinking about this as some one-off thing. I want you. Emotionally, sexually, hell I'll tack on spiritually for good measure. Everything about you drives me crazy, I want that in my life. I want you in my life. Not as a friend. Not simply as my childhood friend. I'm not sure what part about that is so difficult to understand, but I mean it. I'm not asking for you to jump into my arms or my bed right now, although I wouldn't turn it down either, I just want you to honestly think about it. Because for as long as I can remember I've been in love with you, and I don't want to pressure you into anything but I do want a shot at this. I don't want to just be passed off as 'oh it's just a cute crush.' Because that's not what this is." He pauses for a moment, assessing the way you squint and try to analyze everything. Ever the thinker, always trying to find logic even in the midst of a romantic confession. Or at least a passionate confession, Changkyun would like to think. "Just think about it. Thanks again for the breakfast, I'll catch you around." He waits for a moment before pressing his lips to your forehead and striding out the door. Well more like ran out the door, but in his head, he walked out with confidence and gusto and was most certainly not tripping over himself before victory dancing at that small peck.

   The only problem that Changkyun sees in all of this is that he's a man of carefully calculated planning, usually. Being a man of brute action just isn't his style. He wants to be sure that all pawns are in their places before a glorious victory. He's the type to always think five steps ahead. But something happened to him when you kissed him after he rescued you from the budding Hannibal. It rewired his brain, or maybe his dick because he's a bit foggy on everything. He's positive that this will help you finally look at him, but at the same time, he isn't one to be so brash. He's just hoping that perhaps this was still the right method needed. Whatever the case might be all he can do for now is try to craft some sort of a game plan to prove himself to you.

----------------------

   "So you finally confessed to her?" Jooheon is tossing snacks into Minhyuk's mouth as he asks this, Minhyuk almost choking when a pretzel gets nearly lodged in his throat.

   "Yup. She said she didn't know what to say. She really thought that I was just, I don't know, some annoying horny kid or something. Maybe? Or maybe she doesn't even want to acknowledge that I have a dick? It's really all hard to say right now."

   "Pun intended or??" Minhyuk ducks when Changkyun throws a pillow at his face. "Sorry, sorry. I get it you're all serious and whipped for this girl."

   "Woman. Have some respect."

   "Christ." Jooheon and Minhyuk speak at the same time. The double trouble twins back at it again. Changkyun should have known better than to tell them anything, but he needed comrades if he was going to carry anything through. And as much as he loves Hyungwon, he's pretty sure that he'll either sleep through his battle planning meetings or simply spend the entire time razzing him. Neither of which are very helpful.

   "Well, knowing you, you have a plan. So what is it?" Minhyuk sprawls out on his stomach, kicking his feet behind him as he blinks up at Changkyun.

   "I...I don't have one."

   "WHAT?" The double trouble twins really do excel at synchronization.

   "That's my problem, I didn't think any of this through. I kind of...I don't know I figured that my confession would have more of an impact maybe? I didn't expect a deer in headlights response, although I suppose I really should have taken that into consideration. It is the most logical of responses really. And I told her that I'd prove to her that I'm a man now. I don't know why I said that. The more I think about it the more...embarrassing the whole situation becomes. Christ guys what am I going to do?"

   "Defeat the Huns?" Minhyuk really isn't the most helpful person sometimes. But he does strike genius every once and a while. Especially when it comes to nefarious plottings. Unfortunately, now is clearly not one of those times. "Don't give me that look. I'm thinking. Okay well, has she seen your abs?"

   "Yes, I just flash them at random to people." Changkyun holds back the urge to roll his eyes as he deadpans his sarcasm. "Of course she hasn't you nit-wit. The need for her to see them has never really been there."

   "Oh, but you have no problem walking around here naked."

   "For fuck's sake Jooheon, you caught me one time and I promised never again. And it was in our room for god's sake, not out in fucking public. Let it go, man."

   "Back on track, I say you show her your abs. That should get her hot and bothered. Works for all the football players here at least." Minhyuk nods his head as he speaks as if agreeing with himself will somehow make Changkyun more likely to agree.

   "And how, pray tell, do I go about this in some semblance of normalcy?"

   "Pool party!" Jooheon pipes up, before stopping. "Wait...none of us have a pool."

   "But...she does. Her complex has a pool there, and summer is almost here."

   "Okay, so here's what you do. You drop random hints about girls in bikinis, lazing outside under the sun with hot girls around him, and eventually just casually ask him about the pool at (Y/N)'s complex. If you do this slowly enough, and we all drop hints randomly together, he'll think it's one hundred percent his idea and he should go for it. The real question is, will she?" Minhyuk is animated as he speaks, lighting up as the plan forms in his seedy little brain.

   "She would have rules and provisions for allowing it, but yeah she'd say yes to him. She pretends to acts all tough, but she rarely says no to him. The real question is though, how are showing my abs off really going to win her over?"

   "A bit of jealousy my friend. I know some girls who've been interested in you. We invite them, we watch them latch onto you like the harlots they so desperately want to be with you, and ignite the secret yearning in (Y/N)'s heart for this forbidden love." Minhyuk adds on an evil cackle at the end, stopping only when a cough takes over.

   "This seems all very...I don't know, cliche and high school if you ask me. I mean, no offense to your plan I just don't think that her seeing my abs and other chicks are going to make her magically say 'ah yes this is a man I can see myself seriously dating and possibly spending my life with.' I appreciate the effort though."

   "No, no Minhyuk has a point. And let's say it doesn't go as planned, at least we all get a pool party out of it. I promise if you're right and we're wrong we'll help you hatch a different plan of attack. But for now, let's at least see how this goes. On an unrelated note, I'm starving. Do you guys want to go grab some pizza?"

------------

   A month and a half later and Changkyun is sipping a beer from a plastic cup (no glass allowed near the pool as per lease terms and your strict warnings) as he takes in the sight before him. The first half of the plan went swimmingly (pun intended), but the latter half Changkyun still isn't so sure about. You barely even glanced at him before running back up to your apartment to grab some ice. Oh well, if it all goes to shit at least he gets to see you in a bikini again. He's been needing to update his internal spank bank material if he's honest. His sights still linger on your door, waiting for you to come back out when Hyungwon floats over to the edge where Changkyun has his feet dipped in.

   "Dude, what's the point of being at a pool party if you aren't even going to talk to babes or get in the pool?"

   "I'm enjoying my drink without dealing with the taste of chlorine mixing into it, and I'm not here for the babes." Changkyun is here for one babe, one babe currently avoiding him. Plan ABduction (named by Minhyuk) is so far failing spectacularly. What's the point of showing off his newer more manly physique if you aren't even here to ogle him like a magnificent slab of meat before ravaging him?

   "Now that's just not fair. Seulgi and Joy have been staring at you the entire time and you haven't even taken the hint. If you aren't going to get them then I will. You know they're in like an open relationship or whatever? I'm just saying, I feel like a threesome is on the tables with them. I've heard-"

   "Dude, they aren't just objects to be passed around. They're real human beings. I mean listen, if they're down then that's between you and them as three consenting adults. But you've been hanging out with way too many frat fuckers if you think that you can just talk about women as if they can be passed around to the highest bidder. Stop letting your dick talk, no one wants to hear it speak."

   "Woah, calm down you know I didn't...no I guess you're right. I didn't think about how that would come out. Maybe I should lay off the drinks. And the frat parties." Hyungwon floats in the other direction after that, leaving Changkyun to his solo bliss.

   It's a small party, per your rules. There are about 12 people total including Changkyun and you. Not surprisingly, Hyungwon invited mostly girls (who weren't friends with his currently off on again off again girlfriend Lisa), along with Jooheon and Minhyuk. Everyone else has been congregating by the more shallow end of the pool, drunkenly trying to play cards against humanity without getting the cards wet. He's pulled out of his thoughts by the sight of your feet dipping next to his.

   "I heard what you said to Hyungwon. Thanks for not letting his head get too far up his own ass. I don't think I give you enough credit for keeping him somewhat normal. Well, as normal as frog boy can be."

   "I don't think we can call him normal, I mean you can't even call me normal. I just try to keep him...safe for public consumption. He's just going through that college freedom insanity phase still. He'll get over it eventually."

   "Oh, I remember those days."

   "You? I can't see you as ever flying off the handles noona."

   "Oh but I did. You've got to remember, Hyungwon and I grew up in a pretty conservative home. My freshman year of college was a blur of parties, random hookups, and various substances smattered between cramming and making sure my grades didn't drop. Unlike Hyungwon, I made sure I was never on the verge of failing a class and having to explain that to my parents. I wanted to look like a model student to keep them off my asses. And it worked. Until I realized that I wasn't actually having fun and the parties and hookups felt empty and I started settling back down. I've got to say though, I didn't take you for the more level headed of the two. Hyungwon was always so uptight I figured you'd be the free spirit and he'd be the anchor."

   "I mean, I wouldn't say I'm entirely level headed, I just think things through more than him right now. Most of the time, that is." There's a pause after he looks at you. It's breathtaking, the way your profile glows under the setting sun, a small coy smile lighting up your face.

   "I have to ask, why aren't you talking to those girls? They've been stealing glances at you the entire time and they don't look all too pleased with me right now. They're pretty girls you know."

   "Sure, they're very pretty. But they aren't you. It's as simple as that." Changkyun watches a blush creep onto your cheeks as you quickly look away and clear your throat. Now that's a response he was hoping for but not expecting. Perhaps Minhyuk's plan hasn't entirely gone to shit.

   "Well, that was rather matter of fact of you."

   "You're cute when you blush."

   "I'm going to choke you if you don't stop."

   "I'm into that. I mean I usually prefer to be the one giving, but I think I'd be into anything with you." The look in your eyes threaten a possible painful death for him, but the way you've turned beet red tells him that his words affect you. That's got to be a good sign. Right?

   "You weren't kidding when you said you were stubborn and weren't going to give up. That I can tell. I think I'm just still iffy on the why. I mean, what exactly is it about me?"

   "There are too many reasons to count. I think I knew you were the one when you said that pokemon yellow was superior because it showed you the emotions of Pikachu but the pitfall of the game was that you couldn't see all of their emotions and it was limited to just Pikachu."

   "That's...absurd. How in the fuck do you even remember that?"

   "I don't know, but I can tell you that love is absolutely absurd and convoluted and I've stopped trying to fight it or understand it. For the longest time, I tried to get over you, mainly because everyone had decided that you and Shochu-"

   "-Shownu?"

   "Yeah, sure, him. Everyone figured the two of you were going to get married and pop out babies and be the town's most beautiful couple or whatever. The point is, I figured that I had lost my chance and it was time to tuck tail before even trying. But then you guys broke up. And then you moved away, and I thought well maybe now I'll get over it. Except, the funny thing or infuriating depending on how you look at it is I couldn't get you out of my fucking head. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you have to reason absolutely everything, but most importantly the way that you see five steps ahead almost every time and somehow you see things how I see them when no one else does. Except for probably right now guessing by the look on your face. Do you finally get that-" He's cut off by the sensation of your lips pressing firmly to his own. It's not like the first time you kissed him, where it started off unsure and soft, no this one radiates the confidence he's always admired in you. The take no prisoners attitude of yours. And boy oh boy if he isn't melting like a high school girl hearing a 'sup' from her crush.

   He can feel his soul depart from his body for just a moment before blood threatens to rush to his dick in a very public place with only a flimsy pair of swim trunks to shield him. As much as Changkyun would like to pull you closer and turn this into a makeout session, he's pretty sure that popping a boner is against your pool rules. So instead, he quickly pushes himself into the pool at around the same time he realizes the others are whistling and hollering while Hyungwon lets out a wail of sheer disgust. Oh well, you can't win them all.

   He almost expects you to run away again, but this time you're just smiling. As if all is well in this shit hole of a world and as if you're actually happy to kiss him. Oh my god, you really are happy that you kissed him. Sweet mother of fuck, he could die right now and he'd be okay with that. "Wow. That was...wow." He ignores the finally dying out enthusiasm around him, instead just trying to focus on taking in your visage.

   "Fantastic description, you really are such a wonderful poet."

   "Are you ever not sarcastic?"

   "Are you?"

   "That's valid." He pauses at the sound of your laughter, that familiar dying seel noise making his heart thud against his ribcage and sets a frenzy of butterflies loose in his gut. When you finally stop he can't help but ask, "So why did you kiss me? I mean, don't get me wrong it was a solid 10 out of 10, would most certainly do it again. But I mean...now I'm the one who's iffy."

   "Truth be told, I've been thinking about it a lot. Probably longer than you would think, as in before the first time I kissed you. You're not exactly bad looking if you haven't noticed. And while your personality is rather questionable it's questionable in all the right ways. Most of the time that is. But as you know, I'm a chronic overthinker. And I just figured I'd look like a cradle robber, or worse, a cougar on the prowl. I figured that you weren't super serious about it, and I'm just past that age of just fucking for the sake of fucking and I would especially never cross that weird boundary with someone I'm so close to. I know I say you're Hyungwon's friend because you are, but you're just as much my friend too. And that makes it kind of scary. A little too vulnerable for my normal liking, you know? But after your third confession, I realized that you couldn't still be trying this hard just to simply get in my pants. Third time's the charm I guess."

   "So where exactly does that place us now? I'll leave that one hundred percent in your court, but I'm not opposed to a shotgun wedding."

   "I'd have to be pregnant for it to be a shotgun wedding you absolute dork."

   "I'm not opposed to that. Just picture us, lots of little hellions running around as we have exhausted five-minute quickies during their short-lived naps. Living the dream."

   "That sounds absolutely terrible and I'm going to have to pass on that nightmare. I figured we could start off like normal human beings, you know, dating? As in actually going out and being boyfriend and girlfriend and not rushing into a Las Vegas wedding with fat Elvis as our officiate."

   "I'll agree, but I'd like to negotiate on fat Elvis at a later date please."

   "Deal."

   "Did you dorks just enter into like a dating contract or something?" Minhyuk swims over to them, trying to rapidly flee when you start splashing water at his face. "Woah, woah watch the money maker there miss. I am the mastermind behind all of this, I expect to be the best man!"

   "Ignore him, he's an idiot." Changkyun glares at Minhyuk before turning back to you. He kind of wants to squeal, he's that happy. He had never thought about the possibility of you having actually already liked him. You having a near panic attack after the first time you kissed him kind of killed all of those illusions of grandeur. "Noona, can I take you out on a date right now?"

   "And leave these dumbasses to burn down my apartment and get me evicted, ruin my nearly perfect credit score, and leave me homeless? I think not. How about tomorrow?"

   "Tonight?"

   "It's already six. God clearly did not bless you with patience as you've so boldly claimed to me before."

   "I'm not going to pretend to be patient when I have this opportunity right in front of me. So we'll tell them all to get their asses home at eight. Do you really want to stick around them for that much longer? I mean, they're already trashed." He watches you squint at the college kids splashing around, loudly giggling as incoherent babbles slur out of one person after the next.

   "You make a strong argument. Alright, fine. Eight o'clock it is. But you get to tell everyone that they have to wrap it up, I refuse to be the bearer of bad news to them."

   "OY FUCKERS!" Changkyun watches as almost everyone slowly glances over at him with glazed over eyes and alcohol-induced smiles. "You've gotta get your asses out of here by 8!"

   "FINE MOM." Jooheon hollers back before they all return to their still ongoing game of cards against humanity. He's pretty sure half of the deck has sunken to the bottom of the pool at this point.

   "Well, that was easy. As much as I'd love to stay for you to herd the flock back to safety later, I've got to go set up for our date. I'll pick you up." Before he pulls himself out of the pool, however, he makes sure to swim up to you and pull you in for another deep kiss. God, your lips just feel so right. So perfect. Like he's finally found his home and he never wants to leave. If he's honest he wants to do this date so quickly just to prove that all of this is real. He didn't expect you to respond to him in earnest so quickly, and now he feels both a sense of extreme exhilaration and joy coupled with looming anxiety that if he doesn't actually take you out on a date soon he'll wake up and find out that this was all an elaborate dream. Or worse, a prank.

------------------

   It's currently just a few minutes past eight and Changkyun is sitting uncomfortably straight on your couch as he waits for you to finish changing. He can't remember the last time he was this nervous for a date. Middle school dance perhaps? Shit, his palms are even sweaty now. He wipes them on his jeans and takes a moment to stare at his reflection. He doesn't look too shabby. The leather jacket, beanie, black t-shirt, and fitted ripped black skinnies are a classic look. You can't go wrong with that, right? Oh god, what if you wanted him to look classy? Does this look too much like a college kid? No...no this is fine. It kind of has to be, you've already seen him. You didn't comment much though. Shit.

   In the midst of his self deprecating anxiety riddled thoughts running rampant, he sees you step into the living room. You're wearing a simple white sundress and sandals, but there's something about it that drives those obnoxious butterflies wild in his stomach. Maybe it's just you. He swears you could wear a potato sack and he'd still think that you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. It's not fair how little you have to do to captivate him while he's worried about simple things like if his t-shirt is too casual to impress you.

   "Are you ready to go? I'm surprised with how impatient you were to get on with this date that you weren't hollering at me to hurry up while I changed."

   "We have all the time in the world tonight. And I'm glad I didn't rush you because you look...stunning."

   "Well, I hope I'm dressed okay for whatever you have planned. You still aren't going to tell me where we're going are we?"

   "Now who's the impatient one?" Changkyun can't help but smile at the way you roll your eyes before linking hands with him. Christ, you're really going to be the death of him. He still can't believe this is happening. He might have been the one who rushed into this date, but his brain still can't wrap around the fact that you've now kissed him twice and asked him out. Over the moon doesn't even begin to describe his enthusiasm. "No, I'd rather not spoil the surprise."

----------

   It isn't long before Changkyun is pulling up to a secluded back entrance to a lake. You had once brought Hyungwon and him here during a summer visit the summer of your sophomore year. He was attacked by leeches and you had to rummage through your backpack for salt packets you pilfered at fast food places for no apparent reason. But for some reason, he felt that this just had to be the place to take you. That same day you had opened up to him about the gnawing loneliness that had occurred after leaving home, but how you refused to come back with your tail tucked between your legs to be another small town girl who just couldn't make it in a bigger city. It was the first time that you had ever confided in him, the first time that he had seen the infallible you seem so scared and lost. It had started a shift in your friendship, you had trusted in him at that moment with something you hadn't shared with anyone else.

   "I can't believe you actually remember this place. I feel I should warn you, I don't carry pilfered salt packets around with me anymore so taking a dip in the lake probably isn't the best idea."

   "Are you kidding me? I'd rather try to tame a wolf than enter that godforsaken water ever again."

   "Taming a wolf sounds badass."

   "See, you get it. Please, tell that to Hyungwon." In just a matter of seconds, he's getting out of the car and jogging around to open up your door before rummaging around in the backseat for his backpack. Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately for you, he doesn't have a kitchen to even try to make some sort of picnic evening meal from scratch. Instead, he's spent his time zipping around the grocery store for easy enough things like premade and overpriced salads, a bottle of grey goose (he'd rather not spend that much on alcohol, but he knows that you're a staunch advocate for top-shelf liquor), and a bottle of lemonade. He grabs the blanket from the back and leads the way to a small clearing before setting everything up.

   "I can't help but wonder how long you've had this date actually planned. This seems like a lot for something so last minute."

   "Does it? Well I mean, I guess I've kind of had this idea running around my head for a while. I kept hoping that you'd ask me to actually prove myself and take you out on a date and bam I could surprise you with a moonlit dinner by the lake that would be so beautiful and thoughtful you'd go 'oh Changkyun you're so sweet' and fall madly in love with me. But I'm not going to pretend I'm not ecstatic about the way how everything worked out in the end."

   He watches you take a sip of the drink he pours for you, the way you gaze at him so intently before slipping into a comfortable silence as you take in your surroundings. It isn't until he's handed you your salad that you finally speak up. "You know...this lake holds a very important memory for me." You take a long pause, glancing over at him before continuing. "God, how long ago was it that I took you guys here? Four years ago? No. Shit, it had to have been about six years ago now, almost seven. I was going through this really rough patch. When you're a kid you think you have everything all figured out and then life hits you repeatedly in the face until you realize that you actually don't know shit. But just like you, I'm a rather stubborn person. I tried so hard to look like I was doing well when you guys came out to visit me for summer, tried to pretend like I wasn't emotionally falling apart at the seams. But I knew you could see past that facade. You've always been eerily observant of those around you, even if it looks like you're completely oblivious. But you didn't say anything, you just played along with my act of complete happiness at being miles away from everything I've ever known. Isolated and struggling to find decent friends. Until we got to this lake, and you finally asked me why I looked so hollow when I smiled when I was in the middle of pouring salt on those disgusting leeches. You wouldn't let me play it off. You said that it wasn't healthy to keep it all bottled in and for the first time in a long time I came clean. And I realized something then. Not only were you wise beyond your years, but I had always relied on you more than I had realized. You were always around to listen to me bitch about boys and parties and my parents. You had always supported me when I said I wanted to get my masters in linguistic anthropology, a very obscure field that everyone figured would amount to nothing."

   You take another long pause, taking a few bites of food and sipping on your drink before looking straight at him. It's the look of analysis, that look that says you can see right through him and into his soul. Almost as if you've found a way to dive into someone's psyche and rummage around all of their thoughts. "It wasn't until a couple of years later that I understood the full weight of this realization. I figured you were just my closest friend. An ally in the midst of an internal battle, if you will. But then one night I was having an argument with Kihyun and I told him that he wasn't supportive the way you were. which is a really fucking weird thing to say to your boyfriend, you know? He was quick to point that out to me, and then he said that he didn't want to be my second choice. I think I fell in love with you at this lake, and I was just too arrogant to realize it. I'm sorry that I'm a bit of a mess. And that I keep kissing you without properly explaining or resolving things. I can't tell you how long I've wanted to tell you all of this. It feels nice to finally come clean. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you Changkyun. I love you for you. For all the weird things you do. For being there for me when no one else was. For just simply existing. For being my number one supporter. For working so hard all these years to keep up with me when really you've always been ahead in your own ways. I love the way you look at me, the way you make me feel like everything is good and pure and safe when I'm around you. I love that I can just be myself around you and how you don't hold back when you're around me. I love you."

   "Holy shit." He expects to hear another quip about his failure of eloquent words but instead, you just laugh. Never in a million years would he have guessed that his unrequited love had been reciprocated for so long. To be fair, the two of you have tangled yourselves in rather complicated webs. It would be nice if life could be so straight forward in a way that the two of you could have just said all of this years ago, but neither of you are the same people now as you were back then. You've both grown, changed. He knows that he would've felt too unsure of himself, that the relationship would have been doomed to failure had you actually been honest back then because he really was too young. A bit too inept to keep up with you, a bit too insecure to have been able to confidently be by your side. But now? Now all he can think of is how much he wants to grow with you, for you, for himself. But his brain isn't allowing him to just get the damn words out.

   After what feels like an eternity he finally manages to croak out, "I've been in love with you for so long that it's surreal hearing that you've felt the same way. I've dreamt of this moment you know? And I'm a little disappointed that a rainbow isn't shooting out of the night sky with a leprechaun showering us in gold because it feels like that damn magical. It just feels all...I don't know rather anticlimactic I guess, but I don't mean that in a bad way. Because this is real. It's not some romanticized fantasy. It feels natural and right and real, and holy shit do I really want to kiss you. Can I? Kiss you that is?"

   He watches the way you tilt your head back and laugh before pulling in closer to him, a smile on your lips as you cock an eyebrow up and say, "I think that sounds perfect right about now." That's all he needs to hear before he places one hand on the back of your head and drags you into a slow kiss.

   Every time he's kissed you it's been different. The first time was unsure, then heated, and then finally very cold. A microwave meal kiss seems an apt description to him. The second time, earlier today, that one was a declaration. It was bold. Firm. A statement. That you weren't holding back. That you wanted him. But this one is slower, more sensual. There's something lingering just underneath the surface, the sexual tension that's been building for years is trying to crash through the tidal waves of emotions. This time the two of you are confirming all the unsaid things. All the time it's taken to grow. All the time it's taken to reach this point where you could be honest. And happy. And in love. A budding love, sure. But it's mutual.

   It's when he slips his tongue into your mouth that the sexual tension finally breaks through. The soft groan from your throat reverberates through his body, lighting a hunger in him as his hands quickly pull you into his lap. You respond in kind, your hands quick to roam under his shirt and across the firm planes of his abs. Perhaps Minhyuk was right. Abs are indeed a golden ticket. Not that Changkyun will ever tell him that. His hands grip tightly at your hips as he places open-mouthed kisses along your neck before stopping at the top of your breasts before you pull back to take off your dress before tugging his shirt over his head.

   "I'm not usually a first date kind of gal. Not that there's a problem with that, but I have trust issues I guess. What I'm trying to say is I want you. I really want you, I don't care where we are or that this is really rushing into things, but so help me god if I don't fuck you soon Changkyun I might combust."

   "Spontaneous combustion is one of my favorite myths but I'd really rather not witness that before I get to finally feel you. Shit, I want to be inside you so bad. Do you know how many times I've jerked off to the thought of you?"

   "Many a tube sock ruined in high school, I can imagine. I pray that you did your own laundry."

   "Of course I did! God, there is no way in hell I'd make my poor mom go through that. Puberty is awkward enough without having to explain jizz stains to your mom." His hips thrust up instinctively when you palm his already prominent erection through his pants. Good god, he prays that he doesn't nut too fast.

   "Very true but you know what I'd like? For you to stop waxing poetic about the past and fuck me right now." He can feel all air leave his lungs when you pull him into another kiss before unzipping his pants and pulling his erection free. "If you want to, that is."

   "Noona, I really want to fuck you. I want to, holy shit, hear you scream my name. I want to watch you cum on my cock...fuck...probably more than I want to do anything else in life." He struggles with his words when he sees your fingers wrap around his dick and slowly pump him. The way you maintain eye contact with a coy smile only has his insides boiling over. Shit, he figured you'd be the type to take the lead but it's a whole other world experiencing it than fantasizing about it. It's almost like you've put him in a trance. As if the outside world doesn't matter right now. Who cares that his dick's right out there for the world to see in front of a public lake at night, or that the two of you have barely just confessed your love and should technically be enjoying this picnic he's put together when you're looking at him like that? Certainly not him. No, all that matters right now is that he wants to feel you. Taste you. Hear your moans. And the feeling is clearly very mutual.

   When you finally detract your hand to take your bra and underwear off he's both relieved and more excited than before. Holy shit, this is really happening. He's only temporarily dissatisfied that you undress so quickly, his thoughts quickly shifting when you straddle his lap and guide his hands to your core. You're already dripping wet, and even the softest flick of his thumb on your clit has you sighing contentedly into his neck. It's a bit difficult at this angle, but he's determined to hear those sighs turn into moans. He works one finger into you slowly, slipping in a second after a moment. When you arch your back and grind down he moves his thumb in slow circles around your swollen clit before speeding up at the sound of your quiet command, "faster."

   It isn't long before sighs turn into mewls and then turn into moans that you muffle in the crook of his neck. "Like that, fuck, right there." He can feel his dick twitch at the lack of attention, but he doesn't care. All he wants right now is to see you climax, feel you cum on his fingers. When you do he feels you tighten, hears you cry out a loud "fuck" into his shoulder before biting down. It's magical. Fuck the leprechaun, this is the real pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. He slows down when you go limp against him, breathing raggedly before smiling up at him with a dazed expression. Christ, he wants you. "Can I...can I fuck you now or...do you need a moment?"

   "I mean...I could give you some head if you want."

   "Yes, no, I mean. Yes, head sounds great, but no not right now. I'm about five minutes away from blowing my load, not going to lie."

   "I can work with that." You take a moment to adjust before gripping his dick in your hand. "Lay back, that'll make this easier."

   "Yes, ma'am." You roll your eyes when he salutes you, but you respond only by sinking onto him. You move so slowly he's afraid he'll die at this rate. It's as delicious as it is torturous, the way he feels you adjust and stretch around him as you slowly guide yourself further down his cock. He could die right now a happy man. He's had sex, but this. This is different. Better. It's fantastic, perfect, his own slice of heaven. And maybe that's why when you've taken all of him and moan softly before rolling his hips he blurts out, "I love you." Because he does. He loves you with every fiber of his being, and he doesn't want you to think that all he thinks about is sex. He sort of does, but that's not what this is about. This is more than that. this is more than sex even. It's not a random hookup, or a random girlfriend to pass the time with. No, this is you. And that makes everything different. Like he's floating on cloud nine. Like he's finally found the secret to life buried somewhere deep in your pussy.

   When you roll your hips again and position his hands over your breasts you pause to respond for a moment, "I love you too." It's simple, a matter of fact. And it brings emotions rolling into it. For a moment neither of you moves. The two of you just basking in the profundity in the realization that this means something more. That the two of you are finally more. Your lips come crashing down onto his, a hunger chasing at the two of you as his hips rut in tandem each time you roll.

   "Shit, shit, I'm not going to last long. I'm so sorry. I promise I'm normally not, fuck!" He stops functioning when your hands grip his balls.

   "It's okay, I already came earlier. Let go, Changkyun." It only takes you grinding down on him once, twice, three more times before he's spilling inside you. His orgasm hits him with a force he's not used to. A loud groan leaves him before he pants out your name, goosebumps rising up on his flesh as his hands move to quickly grip your hips closer to him.

   "Fuck, fuck. Holy fuck, Noona." He loves the way you laugh, squeezing around his rapidly softening dick before peppering kisses around his face. And even though he's limp and sliding out of you and smearing cum all over your thighs and his jeans neither of you care. The two of you just bask in soft stolen kisses, quiet declarations of love and adoration, and bouts of giggles. He isn't sure how long the two of you stay like that. It might have been just a few minutes or an hour. It's easy to lose track of time when he's with you. But when the two of you do finally break away to get dressed it's more because of the chill in the air than anything else. As you pack up your long forgotten salads he grabs your hand and pulls you into another kiss. He's always wanted to be able to do that. Just hold hands with you. Kiss you. Be by your side. In a way, somehow, that's even better than the fact that he finally got to sleep with you. But he's pretty sure that would sound lame so instead, he says, "Noona, I really love you. And I don't know where life is going to take us, but I do know I want it to be with you. I mean, I know that sounds dumb and serious considering that we technically only started dating, and I'm totally rushing into things but-"

   "Changkyun. It's okay. You don't sound dumb. I'm glad you're telling me all of this because I really love you too. And I'm really glad that I can finally say that. So please, stop thinking so damn much."

   "We both know that's never going to happen. We're both chronic overthinkers. But...I am really happy."

   "Good. We have a lot to talk about, and think about. But right now I'm freezing my ass off, so how about you spend the night with me and we can cuddle in my warm cozy bed and think about all the possibilities life has in store for us there?"

   "That sounds perfect. Hey, how soon do you think we should tell our parents?"

   "Oh my god, you complete and utter dork. Save it for the warm bed, please."

-------------------

   That night the two of you did, indeed, cuddle and wax philosophical for hours although that was sometime between showering and going for a round two. That day was the start of many moments with you. There were, of course, hiccups in it all, but it always ended up working out. He learns that love is constantly evolving and changing. The love that he held for you that night doesn't remain. It grows into something much more than any daydream could have ever seen for the two of you. Sometime's it's softer, especially on nights that the two of you lay in bed and just comfort each other after hard days. Sometimes it's a bit smug, like the time the two of you go home for Christmas and run into Shownu or the times you run into his previous flings. Sometimes it's a passionate frenzy. Sometime's it a bit haggard, especially on the nights that follow one particular passionate frenzy that results in your daughter who doesn't know how to sleep through the goddamn night until she's four. But the core concept that is love, the fact that the two of you want each other and want to face the world together? Well, that never changes. If anything, it grows stronger. Although, he still refused to admit even decades later that Minhyuk had a helping hand in sparking the moment that would start everything.

[devilsadvocatevhs]

Depths

I wrote this one shot for the amazing @emobfchangkyun , I hope you like it my angel💖💖💖💖💖

Genre : demon au, angst, horror Words :  888 Pairing : Changkyun X Reader

You felt your chest constrict painfully and you almost choked as your eyes suddenly shot open. Dread spread through your limbs making fear sip inside your mind and chills appeared on the surface of your bare skin as you felt your body tense as ever. You hated that feeling and you felt like you would never get used to it despite the many times it happened. A habit? Oh god, not. You didn’t want it to become a habit and yet it happened too often with you never getting used to it. A never-ending and sweet torture. Some nights were pleasurable and other painful. You wish you could have laughed if it was a dream. But it wasn’t. That night had been painful.

“Fuck you...”

You gritted through your teeth, the face of the cocky demon above yours as your entire body was shaken from a cold blood sweat. Hate and dread were the exact words you felt when it came to him. Body exhausted and drained you didn't have enough tears to cry. To your utter dismay, you were seeing things people were not supposed to see and you weren't sure when all of this started. A groan escaped your mouth as the demon hovering above you, hands on either part of your head chuckled, his sharp eyes into yours. You could deny his humanity but not his beauty.

“How was your trip to Neverland, babe?”

He almost mused innocently with a wink, his deep alluring voice dripping like honey as he gazed at your face, something gloomy shining behind his sharp dark orbs. You hated how much from a simple thought he could manipulate your body and head into things you would rather not feel from a monster like that.

“Great, loved it. Thanks.”

You uttered, shooting him a cold smile as the demon then shifted to sit on the mattress behind you, your shaky pants being music to his ears. His ethereal face was turned to you, his sharp eyes gazing into yours as a sadistic semi-smile crossed his thin lips.

“I can tell you even got off on it…”

Anyone would tell you completely went nuts if you talked about it, including doctors. Changkyun. That was that monster's name and it sounded so awful whenever you pronounced it. He was dangerous and you knew he was the source of all your nightmare and also of pleasure...You hated how fucked up all this was. You wanted to be at peace and would rather have a boring routine with one job and a quiet house than living that nightmare any longer.

“But…,” he paused cocking one brow and staring at your shaking frame through his intimidating stare. "Do you know the pleasure would be like ten times better if you accepted to give it to me?"

Yeah. Right. That asshole was after your very soul and you didn't want to let it win. Let it win over your humanity. There was a silent pause. You were like nailed to the bed from the tension you hated it.

"Changkyun, you uttered, voice dripping with venom as you glared at him, I won't give you anything."

The cold sweat formed on your skin was making you feel disgusting and uneasy and you pondered for a brief second if you were talking by yourself or if that demon really existed. The weather was cloudy and you didn't dare to take a look at your clock on your bedside table, watching his every move as you could hear some birds chirp outside. Oh, the sweet irony. The demon smiled before settling his alluring eyes on you and slowly leaning in, his face mere inches from yours.

"That's cute...You're really sweet, ___"

He trailed off in his deep alluring eyes as you felt you couldn't even escape his glance. Changkyun cold fingers grabbed your chin as he tilted his head to the side, stroking your dry shaking lips with his thumb. Yeah, you were surely going batshit crazy but it felt so real. It could not be UNREAL. Everything you felt from the nightmare and pleasure he could give you was real. Or felt so real.

"You can also fuck off...."

He laughed, a true and pure genuine laugh as he softly stroked your lips with his thumb before leaning in to whisper against your ear, almost feeling the softness of his lips against your ear as his thumb parted your lips more to gently caress your tongue and placing his thumb on the corner of you lips.

“If it’s nicely said why not…? You’d be too sad if I left.”

And you knew he was partly right. You couldn't get enough of that unealhty link you had with him but for some reason, you wanted to know more about him. Despite how intimidating he was, you knew he had a past or could be human before. Thoughtfully, you trailed off with a frown, gulping down looking in front of you staring ahead.

"Yeah, I'd be too sad...Life would be too boring I guess..."

You didn't even know yourself if you sounded sincere or sarcastic. A silence went in and as your heavy eyes looked back at the place he was before. Nothing and no one. You would never get yourself to sell your soul to him. Never.