immaturity.
@twicesutagram
insp. by humph by pentagon
chaehwa finally texts her, finally asks somin what she’s up to and somin just gets in her car and drives over.
she’s upset and she just. does it. uninvited.
somin’s been mad. has been ignoring chaehwa for ages (3 days).
she went and got her hair dyed in some fit of desperation yesterday and didn’t even post a picture on instagram. pitiful. she remembers when she used to pay the girl no mind at all, when she was just some sharp-eyed, nameless junior sitting in the corner at frat parties.
and now, the way she saw it, it was obvious who chaehwa was to her. where somin’s priorities were. what she felt for chaehwa. and she was sick of being made the fool. at this point, chaehwa was either clueless or she just didn’t want somin. those were the two logical responses. and somin didn’t know which one frustrated her more.
she’d been stewing over it all day. emails had gone out late, appointments postponed and phone-calls avoided.
all because of some- some girl.
the problem is, being mad isn’t satisfying if the object of your frustration is unaware of your state. so when chaehwa came to her first, she just jumped on it. without thinking.
she parks her car illegally in the shade, lets the song finish before getting out of the car and shoving her keys in her purse. her stomach is pinched, she wants confrontation and comfort at the same time. she knocks, harder than she means to. when the door opens, she doesn’t look up. chaehwa says hello and she doesn’t respond, eyebrows creased, just pushes past her, invades her space. not that she hadn’t been in it before.
she stands in the middle of chaehwa’s dorm and fights the urge to yell or cry or something. she takes a ragged breath and faces chaehwa, searching her eyes for something. anything.
“you know i like you, right?” she cringes at her own wording. “like. i want to be with you. do you not feel the same way? why do you act like you don’t know?” she stares into chaehwa’s wide eyes for half a second before deciding she’s made a huge mistake.
“i-... i’m sorry. you don’t. i’m..”
she’s at a fucking loss for words is what she is. she groans, angry. loud. wishes she was at her own apartment with her light blocking shades and bottle of patron and king sized bed. she needs something to punch or she’s gonna fucking combust.
that’s when it hits her. she’s not even mad at chaehwa. she’s mad at herself.
they’d been through this already, in a way, once before. and somin had given her nothing, had danced around it and held them back. just like she did everything. she hadn’t even really given chaehwa anything. this was her first expression of feelings and it was going absolutely piss poor. she steels herself and tries to smile, like nothing is wrong. “i’m truly sorry. i’m just gonna go.”