broken clocks

meg. 22. cst. all i got is these broken clocks. i ain't got no time, just burning daylight.

[s-aerom]

plot: for better or worse, our muses broke off a long term relationship a few months ago. they’re seeing each other again for the first time in months. muse: choi dasom. a 26 y/o graphic designer. a test muse, can give more info in dm’s. open to: everyone

---

there’s a hole in dasom’s chest when she wakes up that morning. her breaths are shallow and she’s freezing as she stares up at the ceiling, despite her huge down blanket. so it’s going to be one of those days. she sighs and stretches, trying to tug the tension out of herself to no avail. she stumbles into the kitchen and turns the coffee pot on only to remember she ran out of coffee grounds the previous morning.

she lets out a long, rueful sigh and just stands there for a minute, eyes fixed on the blue tiles of her kitchen floor before a shiver shakes her out of her melancholy. her arms wrap tightly around her torso and she makes her way to her shower and strips, waiting to get in until air of the small room is warm and steamy. she tries her best to ignore the image in the back of her mind from when the two of them used to share the small space. tries her best not to wonder what they were doing. who they were with. if they were thinking about her.

it’s been months. she’s over them. at least, she is until she lets herself get lonely enough to forget why they didn’t work out. she’s on autopilot as she cleans, dries and dresses herself, in warm layers and boots. there is still snow outside from last night and she needs to go to the market. she’d been surviving off peanut butter toast and coffee for days and now she’s finally out of one of those. she braces herself as she steps outside, immediately deciding she would stop for coffee at the cafe on the way. her legs are frozen before she’s even down the stairs, all the hard work done by her water heater gone to waste. she should have worn her long coat but in a way she’s grateful she didn’t. the cold was making it hard to think of much else. she nuzzles into her scarf as she crosses the street. approaching the cafe, her eyes are fixed on the door. she doesn’t even notice the shape moving toward her out of the corner of her eye and bumps into it. full force.

she gasps and takes a step back, looking up. “excuse m-” she starts before realizing who's eyes it is she’s staring into. “oh, uh. hello. what are you doing here?” she almost laughs. things always seem to happen this way, didn’t they? she kicks herself for being too lazy to put any makeup on before realizing it doesn’t matter. if they were going to get back together, she would have gotten that call already. she smiles, awkwardly, and holds the door open for them, “probably getting coffee, huh?”

[s-aerom]

alias: meg 18+/-: 18+ links: guidelines. primary muses. spn girl gang sideblog. about: sup i’m meg. she/her. i’m an accounting student bc money over my soul amirite. i like girlgroups and writing to deal with my trauma. p friendly and easygoing. a lil forgetful. sometimes i get busy w/ school. i’m better at replying over discord. once we are friends i will blow ur chat up and be ur 24/7 hype man. i like to make moodboards for my favorite plots.  plots: i love slice of life, angst, horror, and supernatural plots of all kinds but i’m down for anything good tbh. some more specific favs (stolen from my app lol): rivals to friends or lovers, siblings that have been through hell, (assumed) unrequited love aka pining, bad friend corrupting their innocent friend, older friend that takes care of their younger friend, lowlife best friends that only have each other, toxic relationships that you can’t stay away from, soulmate plots, flirty muses with shy muses. sideblog wanted plots. it’s me(me): eternally confused but pretending i’m not current jam: devil - clc tag yourself!writing edition: facepalm and wannabe writing mom

[s-aerom]

he had about a dozen different theories of how this could go. she could hear him out and call him crazy. she could laugh the whole thing off and he’d be hurt at her dismissive behavior. she could accept it with tons of enthusiasm or none at all. what zander didn’t think her capable of, or rather what he hadn’t even bothered to consider was that she’d jump wildly to conclusions that made no logical sense. he doesn’t know if it shows on his face but he is deeply hurt by what she’s said. zander has been nothing short of a loving boyfriend in his opinion. and given his line of work and the lifestyle it forced him to live sometimes, he thought he was doing great. so it’s with surprise and a little indignation that he scoffs at what she’s saying. he’s not supposed to be reassuring her through his own moment of vulnerability, and it’s a little selfish in his eyes that he is forced to do so. but he grits his teeth and buckles down for what would now be a bit of an awkward conversation. he can understand her trepidation but he’s still a little bruised by the assumption.

“wow that’s….that’s really

messed up. you think so little of me that your first assumption is that we’re breaking up and i’ve found someone else i want to be with? i only want to be with you. i only want to do this with you.” zander pushes his phone directly beneath her hanging head. “did you even look at this? it’s an apartment, silly woman. i wanted to ask you to move in with me. but i didn’t want to do so with a secret between us. it’s the kind of thing i can’t hide if i’m sharing a space with someone else. so before i made that huge leap into cohabitation and i don’t know hopefully eventually marriage…i thought i’d better come clean. before you found out some other way and never wanted to see me again or something.” he knows that sounds incriminating, as if he might be getting ready to confess to cheating or fooling around or something. so he jumps on top of that too before she can.

“it’s nothing i did to you! nothing that wrong or bad that could ruin our relationship or your trust in me. it’s just apart of who i am. and i want you to love this part of me but i understand too if you don’t.” zander grips his jeans in both hands steeling himself. it would be better to go into this slow rather than diving in headfirst.

“do you believe in ghosts at all?” it seems a question out of left field. and zander tries to think up an excuse for why he could be asking. “i know that’s a weird thing to ask,” not as if zander hadn’t been weirder before. “but trust me please emma. i promise it’s relevant.

she knows immediately that she’s messed up. the hurt and confusion on his face goes straight to her stomach and her eyebrows pull together, the stress line between them visible. 

‘wow, that’s really… messed up.’ oh. her cheeks visibly deepen into a shade of red she hadn’t achieved since high school. ‘i only want to be with you.’ she bites her lip, embarrassed and unsure and just. sort of baffled. 

he pushes the phone even closer to her and she briefly glances at it. she sees the nice house but still doesn’t look too hard. quite frankly, she would move into a shack if he wanted her to. and then it comes up again. this secret. the reason he’s being so intentionally vague. it’s frustrating. her heart does a flip when he mentions marriage but then again she’s shaking her head. this has become the most confusing conversation she’s ever been a part of. 

‘before you found out some other way and never wanted to see me again.’ 

she looks at the table. the vagueness made it hard to stay calm, like he had messed up in someway. like she was being expected to forgive him for something somehow but she didn’t even know what it was. she just wishes she could get a handle on this conversation, wishes she had some control. wishes she wasn’t so in the dark. when she looks back on this moment in the future, she’ll laugh at her own naivety. if only she knew.

did she believe in ghosts?

“ghosts?” her eyebrows crease, tone turns incredulous. “i… not really?” the only ghosts emma knew were the ones in her mind. she’d always laughed at the people on those paranormal shows. she huffed, her chest visibly rising and falling. no satisfaction. she thought this was supposed to be a serious conversation. “zander, really. what are you talking about?”

[s-aerom]

immaturity.

[s-aerom]

there are things somin doesn’t know; that chaehwa doesn’t want to admit, even to herself.

such as: the way hope blooms in her heart like flowers in spring when her phone lights up with a text. the way her smile chips when she realises, it’s not from somin. the way each minute is ruined by hoping the next text will be from her. trying to stave off hope, the cause of all burden. fighting within herself to give in and text and risk appearing desperate, or not text and endure the dissonance of wanting A but being forced to do B. to attempt to get over someone who would never look at you that way, but always somehow gave just enough to keep you crawling back.

maybe deep down, she realises it for what it is: a crush. it’s not something she’d ever say aloud, though, not even think it – for the reality would be too painful then. she is head-over-heels for a girl who at best thought of her as a pet, some kind of amusement, a secondary choice.

so, she just smiles and pretends she doesn’t have these feelings, she pretends she’s as uninterested as somin is in the equation that is them. she lies to even herself, when the familiar hurt chips at her heart, she simply wipes her mind blank of thought and busies herself with a physical task – chores, housework, or assignments. she systematically carries out what she has to do each day, shoving aside her favourite moments spent with somin that cause a flutter in her stomach. she gives the same smile to somin the rare times they meet, to prove she’s not needy, no – she’s cool enough, detached enough for somin and what she wants – doesn’t matter what she herself wants.

(because she doesn’t want, right?)

but, it’s exhausting to lie – and maintain it. with each word leaving somin’s mouth, chaehwa feels cracks in the mask she wears. she’s carefully constructed this just for them, this cool façade in order to stay by somin’s side, and she – she just says things that couldn’t be farther from the truth, and before she knows it, she’s got her fingers encircled around the other’s wrist to stop her from leaving.

she should be happy. that was a confession.

and yet, all she is is hurt. angry.

“because i didn’t know,” she starts, confusion in her voice. simmering with undercurrents of anger. “how am i supposed to know, when you say things like this and then apologise like you don’t mean what you said, and then leave?” her voice is raised towards the end, the dam breaking.

“you’re the one who acts like you don’t know!” frustrated tears prick at her eyes. all her pretence, for nothing. because of course, she had only adopted this role after she’d been more or less rejected, right at the very start. so she’s a sucker who fell fast, sue her. “i’m on, like, fucking speed dial for you. you come to me only when you need to feel better about yourself. and i’m not angry about that, don’t get me wrong. i don’t mind it. i let you do it. but,” she takes a deep breath. “there’s a reason why i just let you do it, so don’t you dare say i don’t …” have feelings.

chaewha stops her from leaving and somin’s expression changes from one of embarrassment to one of confusion. she recoils and wraps her hand around her own wrist, still burning where chaehwa’s fingers had gripped it.

somin blinks, slowly, teeth digging into her lip. 

chaehwa didn’t know. 

she swallows and feels like the smallest woman in the world as her actions get thrown in her face and all the puzzle pieces start to fit. staring at the floor with the straightest face she can muster, she just takes it. she's an asshole and an idiot and assumes everyone is playing the same game she is – a critical mistake, a recurring one that has ruined most all of her relationships and friendships since she was mature enough to be held accountable. she ignored it, she lied to herself but it was right there. the writing on the wall.

her face crumbles and her eyes sting; i’m on fucking speed dial for you. she doesn’t know where to look. chaehwa’s done explaining and somin is silent as she ponders it, does the math.

it's tempting, for her to just say chaehwa is wrong. that somin doesn’t just come to her to feel better about herself. but what has she done for chaehwa besides pay for her meals and fuck with her head? when has she ever come over after chaehwa’s had a hard day and made her feel good? when has she ever even known when chaehwa was having a hard day? her fingernails dig into her palm as the regret seeps into her stomach, slowly and suddenly at the same time; mixing itself seamlessly with the self loathing. normally it turned her on when girls yelled at her. all the frustration and fire she’d walked in with had dissipated like steam somewhere between now and then.

she clears her throat but remains at a loss for words.

her fingers twitch; there’s the urge to reach out, to grab chaehwa’s hand, pull her close and nuzzle into her neck. to wind her arms around her waist and stroke her back. to get wrapped up in the sweetness of her scent, the softness of her skin; it happened so easily. but even now, especially now, it’s so hard for somin to know what the right thing to do is. she can’t help this sickening feeling that’s taken over, like she’s fucked this up beyond repair. and even if she hasn’t, she sure as hell didn’t deserve to be happy whatever this was.

she finally glances up, into chaehwa’s eyes, and she’s scared. her heart feels like it’s stuck in her throat, blocking her from breathing or speaking or calming down. how could chaehwa want her after all this? why did she even open the door? or text her in the first place? why did she stop somin from leaving? it was almost revolting for somin to think of what she would have done if someone treated her the way she treated chaehwa. it would have never gotten this far to begin with, if she’s honest. she realizes she’s never cared how she made other people feel until this moment. it makes her chest ache. you’re a bad person. the words ring through her head like a bell.

restraint fails her finally. she reaches out for chaehwa’s hand, encompasses it with both of her own and brings it close to her chest. she stares as her own thumb rubs up and down, recognizing a habit she didn’t even know she had. “how do i…” she struggles for words, an unfamiliar phenomena to her. “what can i do? how do i make this right?” she’s almost in tears, desperation pouring out of her, through her words and her eyes and her fingers and it hurts. to be so wrong and so weak. “can i even fix this?”

[s-aerom]

‘      how will you   know if  …  ……       ’   languid  blinks, like she couldn’t have  possibly fathomed   why her story warranted incredulity.  perhaps even more bizarre to her,  the angel of faith   who placed her whole trust in  some   cause,  some   one,  some   thing   without question.  that was faith, after all  :   trust  in something intangible.  it never occurred to her that she would be   questioned  ,  lest by her charge whom she had  complete and utter   faith in.

she’s stumped.  then,   ‘      would you like to see my scars  ?   they  were   from my wings.      ’

she says it monotonously,  as if a transaction purely to win his trust.   and yet, the first time she had woken up on earth and,  with   trembling fingers  felt the slightly raised skin on her back,   she had cried  .   an angel crying is a thing of beauty,  but she was glad no one had been around to witness.  it seemed to her she had hugged her knees to her chest and cried the whole night   ——   to voice out the hollow vacancy in her heart,  and let the sounds of her wails rattle around the empty of her heart that came with the loss.

wings were  honourable things   in heaven.  deeply personal,  like a thumbprint.  they may appear alike, but each pattern was subtly unique to the angel.   they were a source of aesthetic pride for angels,  and more than that   ——   like a signature, of their status as  higher beings   .

‘      wooyeon  ?   i’m not sure.  she’s not  my   charge.    ’  munsuk says with hint of a scoff. i had my hands full with you, thank you very much!   she thinks.  ‘      i passed her in the hallway earlier, though.  she asked who i was,  so i said i was your girl friend so she may permit me entry.      ‘

it almost made him laugh, when she trailed off, avoiding saying the word fuck. that was kind of angelic, he supposed. he closed his eyes in the silence, still trying to orient himself. she spoke again and he looked at her, even more bewildered. she had wings? what happened to her wings? myungsoo had a feeling it was something horrible. he coughed, “uh. no, not right now. i’m good.” 

“you said you were my girlfriend?” he scoffed and gave her another hard look. “there’s no way she would believe that. i usually go for, uh, older women.” he paused and thought about that movie where angels were immortal and didn’t have genitals. huh. they had wings in that movie too. his eyes narrowed, “how even… how old are you?”

he shook his head (and cringed when it pounded), this was something they could talk about later. “what time is it?” he looked around the room. it seemed somewhat light outside. either early morning or evening. his stomach turned; he was scared, unaccustomed to this kind of confusion. “do you know when i can-” 

wait, he cut himself off. why didn’t he just press the damn button and talk to a medical professional? he reached out for the remote found it wedged between the bed and the wall. a few seconds later the little red light alerted him that a nurse was on the way. he sighed, “i can’t believe i fucking lost.” he got paid either way but this just looked bad on his record. he’d been favored to win. where was his coach? and his manager? were they disappointed in him? he must have been in here for a while for them to leave him alone with a stranger. he dragged his hand down his face and then rubbed his eyes roughly. 

the nurse finally came in and asked him a few questions before calling a doctor in to order a discharge. he’d been unconscious for two days. apparently they’d already done a few scans on his brain at his sister’s permission and miraculously he was perfectly healthy. he side eyed munsuk when the doctor said the word ‘miraculously’. he didn’t care at this point. he was just happy he didn’t have to stay any longer. 

***

an hour later he was wearing an outfit wooyeon had left for him, bless her, and signing papers releasing the hospital of any liability, blah blah. munsuk was still there and he was torn between being thankful he wasn’t alone and being a little freaked out. as they walked outside, myungsoo knew he should go straight home and get more rest but that was out of the question. he needed answers. he turned on his phone and texted wooyeon to tell her he would be home today before looking at munsuk and then away again. the evening sun was making her skin glow and it gave him the heebie jeebies. “can we go somewhere and talk?”

[s-aerom]

this shouldn’t have happened to her.

her shoes squeaked against the linoleum floor, droplets of water trailing after her. outside was just as chaotic as inside the hospital – outside, it was storming, while inside, nurses in their neatly pressed white uniforms rushed to and fro. perhaps that was the only lucky thing thus far; their preoccupation allowed munsuk to slip undetected and make her way to the specific room she had to get to.

she hesitated outside the door. she had been one of god’s favourites, bestowed with the gift of faith. she didn’t understand it herself, why she had decided to go against His plan in the last minute and thus seal her fate. but it was done, and she was lost – so lost. all she had known was Him and his plan, of heaven, her beautiful birthplace – and of the human that lay in the hospital bed.

entering, she fretted over how she should introduce herself. she had always been there for them, but this would be their first time seeing her. she couldn’t have them turn her away, though. she’d have absolutely nothing if they did. spotting the empty chair by the bed, she settles in, grasping the other’s hand firmly. as if she were the one seeking out comfort.

“hi,” she starts, then pauses. “we’ve never met before … not formally. my name is munsuk, let’s start with that. i … you’re not going to believe this, maybe, but i’m your guardian angel. or was. i think my powers are gone. i’m so sorry to have hurt you … but the alternative was death. i hope you can forgive me.”

a warm hand in his own shook myungsoo awake. he expected to see wooyeon, to get bitched at and to go home to rest, home sweet home in his own bed. 

he’d miscalculated apparently. 

a woman he’d never met stood in front of him, and spoke, ‘the alternative was death… i hope you can forgive me,’ she said. he shook his head, confused and overwhelmed. nothing made sense. 

he lost the fight? 

he looked around him, saw the IV in his arm. he was in a hospital? and someone he’d never even met before was comforting him? where the fuck was wooyeon? he tried to listen to what mystery girl was saying. 

it was fucking strange.

but when he thought about it, really considered it in his momentary insanity, it didn’t seem that absurd – that he had a guardian angel. after all these wins. getting lucky with no injuries after so many knockouts. it didn’t seem that absurd.  perhaps he did have a guardian angel. and perhaps she was standing in front of him. and perhaps she was hot as hell. 

if this was his first concussion she was doing her job damn well to be honest. myungsoo tried to look out the window and groaned. perhaps he’d they’d messed up his neck more than he thought. “hi.” he said through his teeth. he looked his guardian angel up and down. “how do i know you aren’t just fucking with me? honestly.”

he thought about his sister and looked at his surroundings with more purpose. “where is wooyeon?”

judging by the aching in his head, he’d been out for at least twelve hours. ”if she misses this test she’s gonna fail biology.”

[s-aerom]

the first rule of flying, billie was taught by the professor, was to never ( under any circumstances! ) fly under the influence.

of course she thought it was stupid. it wasn’t as though she was behind the wheel of a large vehicle–able to hurt other people and not just herself–and surely the worst thing that could happen would be running into a ( very poor ) bird while she blazed through the sky.

so yeah, maybe she didn’t account for the fact that the tree she just so happened to be falling through at the moment was much taller than she originally thought. definitely didn’t account for how painful it would be hitting every branch on the way down. if it was one of her sisters, billie was sure she’d be bent over in tears from laughing so hard at the sight of them falling into a heap on the ground after their rough descent.

but it wasn’t bijou or briar, no…billie might have just learned a good lesson.

hands come up to wrap around her ( now bleeding ) knee with a small hiss–hair a knot of sticks and leaves, dirt smudging the high of her cheekbone. it’s only when she hears a noise of surprise does billie realize that she didn’t have the luck to fall in a place nobody would have seen her. no, she had to fall right in the middle of a fucking park.

❝ uh…hi. ❞ she clears her throat, quickly getting to her feet. it’s easy to ignore the sting of her bleeding knee in favor of swallowing her embarrassment. words are almost spoken through a pout, and billie quickly runs a finger under her nose. ❝ lovely day, isn’t it? ❞

yookyung was nearly back to her apartment after spending an hour walking off her problems when she heard a series of branches break. she looked up and then jumped back at a large blur in front of her, which was followed by a thud. 

“holy crap.” her eyes widened once the large blur came into focus. “are you o-” she didn’t finish her sentence, because suddenly the girl stood up and spoke. yookyung looked around her. apparently no one else seemed to have seen a girl suddenly fall out of the damn sky. 

alright. 

okay. 

she cleared her throat and looked back at the girl, eyebrows quirked, “uh, yeah. it’s pretty nice, i’d say….. are you okay?” her eyes scanned the girl from her head to her feet, stopping on her bleeding knee and smudged cheekbone. “oh oof… you are bleeding. gross. come with me, i have a first aid kit in my apartment. moana bandaids. right over there.” 

she pointed at her building across the street and then started walking in that direction. she assumed the girl was following her and continued talking, “my name is yookyung, by the way. what were you doing up that tree? how did you even climb that high? why did you even climb that high?” she let out a short giggle and covered her mouth with her hand. “do climb trees often?”

[s-aerom]

she’s blinking a   few   times,   arms   still   wrapped   snug   around   the   woman   beside   her.   and   that      familiar   feeling   of   guilt   creeps   up   on   her   as   she   remembers   that   her   staying   the   night   meant   her   exgirlfriend   couldn’t   possibly   move   on,   but   still   she   cuddles   in   closer.  ‘    tonight’s   the   last   night,   ok?   i   swear.  ‘

eunji rolls her eyes and sighs but doesn’t say anything.

what was there to say?

it had been months.

the first few weeks just hurt. she wasn’t even sure why they broke up in the first place. and then for it to end so half-assedly? and apparently her self destructive side knew no bounds. she came to rely on the nightly affection just the same as yuri. and now they were stuck.

“heaven won’t let you in if you keep lying, you know.”

[s-aerom]

his hands are clammy and cold, a side effect of rubbing away sweat onto his jeans only a moment before. he is nervous and it seems to radiate off of him in waves. this conversation is not an easy one and he knows that he didn’t exactly instill a vote of confidence by throwing out the old ‘we need to talk’ line. if he could calm down then things wouldn’t be so bad.

his fingers worry at a fray in the knee of his jeans as he plays the conversation over in his mind again before finally deciding to speak. “so – the lease is up on my place. and i found this new place. i really want you to come to look at it with me.” his voice is unsteady and just a touch strained. but he is trying to say something of great importance here. he needs to get it out.

“i thought you’d like it. there’s an extra room for – well it can be for anything. and there’s a yard too. i’ve never had one of those. it’s nice. big. a tree is in the front. but like the kind you can climb. it’s amazing.” zander is pulling out his phone and sliding it across the table. it’s already pulled up to be looked at.

“but before we go. i need to be honest.” he can feel his insides straining against him. do not do this.

she tried to take a deep breath through her nose, discreetly. she thought they were having a good week before this. but being sat down and told ‘we need to talk’ usually seemed to end in hurt from emma’s experience. it was clear zander was nervous and her mind was racing trying to figure out why. she chewed on her bottom lip and her eyes were wide as she waited for him to finish, giving him her full attention.

she grinned slightly and nodded as he spoke his piece. did he mean he wanted her to move in with him? she genuinely couldn’t tell. the words were implying but he didn’t seem. excited. at all. her eyebrows pinched as she searched his face. his eyes were so distressed, she was getting more and more uncomfortable by the second, not even glancing at his phone as he set it in front of her. she didn’t notice her hand come up to her lip either, picking and pinching at the delicate skin.

there was someone something else.

her expression didn’t change as he continued but her blood ran cold. ‘honest about what?’ she ran her fingers through her hair and looked down at the table, unsure if she wanted him to continue. she licked her lips before replying, “zander, i don’t... if there's someone else i don’t want to know. i can’t. don’t tell me, just go.” her voice cracked, “please.” she hated herself for going there so quickly but this explained so much, from the secretive behavior to the random disappearances in the evenings. she didn't know why she didn't see this coming.

[s-aerom]

immaturity.

@twicesutagram

insp. by humph by pentagon

chaehwa finally texts her, finally asks somin what she’s up to and somin just gets in her car and drives over.

she’s upset and she just. does it. uninvited.

somin’s been mad. has been ignoring chaehwa for ages (3 days).

she went and got her hair dyed in some fit of desperation yesterday and didn’t even post a picture on instagram. pitiful. she remembers when she used to pay the girl no mind at all, when she was just some sharp-eyed, nameless junior sitting in the corner at frat parties.

and now, the way she saw it, it was obvious who chaehwa was to her. where somin’s priorities were. what she felt for chaehwa. and she was sick of being made the fool. at this point, chaehwa was either clueless or she just didn’t want somin. those were the two logical responses. and somin didn’t know which one frustrated her more.

she’d been stewing over it all day. emails had gone out late, appointments postponed and phone-calls avoided.

all because of some- some girl.

the problem is, being mad isn’t satisfying if the object of your frustration is unaware of your state. so when chaehwa came to her first, she just jumped on it. without thinking.

she parks her car illegally in the shade, lets the song finish before getting out of the car and shoving her keys in her purse. her stomach is pinched, she wants confrontation and comfort at the same time. she knocks, harder than she means to. when the door opens, she doesn’t look up. chaehwa says hello and she doesn’t respond, eyebrows creased, just pushes past her, invades her space. not that she hadn’t been in it before.

she stands in the middle of chaehwa’s dorm and fights the urge to yell or cry or something. she takes a ragged breath and faces chaehwa, searching her eyes for something. anything.

“you know i like you, right?” she cringes at her own wording. “like. i want to be with you. do you not feel the same way? why do you act like you don’t know?” she stares into chaehwa’s wide eyes for half a second before deciding she’s made a huge mistake.

“i-... i’m sorry. you don’t. i’m..”

she’s at a fucking loss for words is what she is. she groans, angry. loud. wishes she was at her own apartment with her light blocking shades and bottle of patron and king sized bed. she needs something to punch or she’s gonna fucking combust.

that’s when it hits her. she’s not even mad at chaehwa. she’s mad at herself.

they’d been through this already, in a way, once before. and somin had given her nothing, had danced around it and held them back. just like she did everything. she hadn’t even really given chaehwa anything. this was her first expression of feelings and it was going absolutely piss poor. she steels herself and tries to smile, like nothing is wrong. “i’m truly sorry. i’m just gonna go.”

[s-aerom]

@calicoscat

there was nothing but silence once they stepped out of the party. chilly in her sleeveless dress, yumi shivered as she pulled out a cigarette from her clutch. she couldn’t ignore the :00 on her wrist, like a rash. sore and itchy. there was discomfort coming off the girl in waves; yumi didn't know how to process any of this. she cleared her throat, trying to break the spell.

"you seem a little, um. disappointed."

the girl was silent, still.

well then.

"yeah, supposed i would be too." she laughed, quietly, before placing the cigarette between her lips.

truthfully, she didn't mean that. yumi found herself plenty attractive and plenty smart. but even the ripest, juiciest peach is no good to someone who doesn't like peaches. and if her soulmate was indeed disappointed, there was no helping the situation other than to make light of it.

it wasn't a very big deal to yumi, the whole soulmate thing. she still couldn't help feeling bad for the girl. she tried to catch her eyes, grimacing, "you've heard of platonic soulmates, right? this isn’t the end of the world." her attempt to comfort the girl felt bizarre, forced. she wasn't normally the accommodating type. she didn't know why she cared. probably had to do with the whole soulmate thing.

platonic soulmates, the voice in her head scoffed, bitterly. it didn't seem that way from her eyes as she looked the other girl up and down. but life was a bitch and yumi had taken blows harder than this. her fingers raked through her hair in frustration. "do you want to get a drink and talk about it, then?"

[s-aerom]

you’re so amazing.

chaehwa pulls back and they stare at each other for a moment. somin’s brain catches up with her ears and she swallows. you’re so amazing. it’s heavy. it’s not really anything like the pillow talk she’s heard in the past. from anyone. it’s not an instruction, or about some specific body part. chaehwa’s still staring at her and somin starts to get desperate. finally chaehwa pulls her back in and somin obliges, generously.

“closer.” she mumbles into chaehwa’s neck. her hands slide down chaehwa’s back, sampling the bare skin just beneath the hem of her shirt before continuing further. a couple of soft squeezes and she wants more, needs more skin. somin’s fingers return to the hem of chaehwa’s shirt and their eyes lock. the wordless confirmation fuels her fire and her face lights up as she lifts chaehwa’s cute little top over her head and tosses it on the floor behind them.

she takes a second to stare (sexy sweet pretty hot please) before pulling the girl snug against her. somin’s hands linger on the soft skin of her hips and then part ways, one returning to its place on her ass, the other giving her breast a squeeze and lightly tracing her through her bra. somin’s voice shakes but she covers her bases, “tell me what i can do, chaehwa.”

[s-aerom]

send me a symbol for a starter meme: ۩

status: accepting

۩ - location: a music festival in los angeles !

+ symbol meme starters: (lap) … is this free real estate …

muse: dasom lee.

relief set in some time around 7 that evening, when the sun finally decided to take a break from frying her and every other hipster wannabe gathered within the half mile radius trying to jam eight concerts into one day. she pulled her hoodie on despite her skin still buzzing from performing on one of the smaller stages much earlier in the day. the crowd was small but energetic and her manager told her she would be invited again next year for sure. said manager was off tonguing some dj from croatia right now so dasom was sprawled out on her beach towel, enjoying the music and hot girls’ drunk dancing and getting drunker herself by the song.

until she saw her.

there was an immediate awareness, a familiarity of sorts. if they’d met before, dasom didn’t remember it but that was nothing new. she’d met half of los angeles in the past year. when it was like this, inevitable, it didn’t matter.

they made eye contact once and then twice more and the fourth time dasom finally just raised her eyebrows at the girl and nodded, once. simple but effective. dasom downed the rest of her drink and reached in the cooler for another as the girl made her way over.

“is this free real estate?” the girl said, tucking herself into dasom’s lap. her bare thighs were warm, contrasting with the cool evening air. dasom laughed brightly, a bit surprised, breathless.

“babe,” dasom grinned, eyes cat-like, arms wrapping around the girl’s waist. she nosed along the girl’s neck, resisting the urge to taste it. “i think you’ll find that there’s no such thing as free real estate.” her hands snuck along the girls stomach and hips, circling and dragging across the exposed skin. the ground pulsed, bass blasting through the speakers. what fresh hell did you spawn from? she wondered as she stared at the girl, incredulously. pink clouds glowed behind the girl like a halo. she licked her lips before she spoke again, “your name?” number? sign? her brain continued.

[s-aerom]

chaehwa just lets out an imperceptible sigh. talk? could she have? conflicting emotions welled within her – she knew just as well as somin that it wasn’t easy to just talk. she had a feeling somin would weasel her way out of it, given chaehwa’s numerous unanswered texts whenever she tried to check in. and chaehwa, she – she was too scared of ever doing something so daring. she didn’t like to put herself out on the line, because it meant the possibility of losing. but maybe she underestimated somin? maybe this was somin’s way of showing chaehwa mattered more than she thought she did?

god, this place sucked.

somin’s temporary departure left chaehwa freaking out. there was not enough time to think about what she wanted, nor enough time to text keiko to ask for advice. did she want to date somin? she wasn’t sure, not when they both didn’t seem ready to date. or at least, one of them. chaehwa couldn’t promise to be a good girlfriend – didn’t exactly have a lot of experience – but she could and would try. but maybe that wasn’t enough. she definitely didn’t want to cut somin off, though, despite what keiko urged. oh god, people didn’t take that long in bathrooms – she’d be out any minute and chaehwa still didn’t know what to say and –

oh my god. was she talking about food? her whirlwind of thoughts came to an abrupt halt at the realisation. as if all energy had left her, chaehwa sank down onto her couch in disbelief, hugging a pillow. oh my god. it was difficult to miss the way she was dejectedly slumped. when she hears the door open, she mumbles, “is chinese food good? i could go for some fried wontons right now.”

somin took her time in the bathroom, checking her texts (nothing interesting) and primping herself in the mirror. she’d come straight over from work so she was still in her pencil skirt and button down. she wished she’d stopped and changed into something more comfortable but she hadn’t known what to expect. whether she was staying. whether chaehwa would even open the door. sighing, she undid the first few buttons of her blouse and rolled her sleeves up past her elbows. she washed her hands diligently, enjoying the scent of chaehwa’s hand soap. she hummed as she took out the pins holding her hair up and let it fall around her face. there was a song playing in her head, vibrating her cells and buzzing in her skin. thoughts of kyungmi and marketing reports lost in the wind.

she took off her heels and set them down by the entrance to the living room, smiling, happy to see chaehwa sitting on the couch. she looked like a little kid, hugging a cushion to her chest like that. somin plopped onto the couch next to chaehwa, horizontally. her legs crossed and she rested them on chaehwa’s lap as she rested her head on the couch arm. “chinese food sounds perfect.” she smiled, easily.

her hand disappeared into her purse for a few seconds until stumbled upon her wallet. she took out her AmEx and opened UberEats on her phone. after a couple of minutes of scrolling and tapping she was sure she had ordered enough food and had the address right. she set her phone down on the coffee table and pulled chaehwa’s hand closer to her chest. she stared at their hands as she played with chaehwa’s fingers. “i saw a girl that looked just like you out on 6th street last weekend.” it had put a damper on her night, truthfully. she wasn’t really able to look at her date the same after that, even with their clothes off. “what were you up to?”

[s-aerom]

“what?” the word escaped her mouth without a second thought, shock clearly written on her features. “no, of course not. what –” where was this all coming from? the idea of her using anyone was so repulsive to her, to someone with a pretty strong moral compass and almost never had bad intentions.

“i just didn’t know what we were. what we are.” there it was. the moment the words left chaehwa’s lips, she wanted to punch herself in the face. she settles for awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck instead. she didn’t want to be thatgirl. to admit she was that girl who was just second place, who was insecure, who wanted more. she knew these things about herself, but it’s different telling the person you want to be with. it gave them power, the option to leave because you were being too needy. chaehwa had never wanted to be desperate. especially when she suspected that’s what repelled somin. “keiko suggested i ignore you only a little for my own sake.”

chaehwa lets out a heavy sigh. the jig was up already, she might as well start calculating her losses. she wasn’t going to take back her words, nor say things to further incriminate herself. “you can still stay for dinner and tell me about how work’s been, though. i’m not going to try anything or expect anything, so don’t worry. i just genuinely don’t want you stressed.” there was a sad look reflected in her eyes, but honesty as well.

somin bit down hard on her bottom lip when the corners of her mouth twitched. relief trickled down from her head through her chest. she leaned on the counter a little more, knees bending slightly. a deep breath lifted her chest and reminded her to keep her posture. chaehwa was finally being honest. no hesitation, no excuses. it wasn’t so hard, to get her to admit her insecurity. her weakness. what somin wanted to know. uncertainty. it tormented them both, somin supposed. chaehwa didn’t know where she stood so she ignored. somin didn’t know why she was being ignored so she confronted.

but it wasn’t chaehwa’s idea to ignore her. that was comforting. somin didn’t know who this keiko was and maybe she should have but it didn’t matter. she would soon enough. “you could have just talked to me, chaehwa. being ignored…. it doesn’t feel good.” she chuckled humorlessly. the irony didn’t slip her attention - the hypocrisy of chastising chaehwa when she’d let plenty of chaehwa’s texts go unanswered. she was a better liar though. or rather, chaehwa couldn’t lie. lying was a nasty habit. it went against her code, somin knew it did. but chaehwa was only human. so she still tried.

lying was one of the more forgivable sins in somin’s admittedly biased eyes. she couldn’t help her nature, couldn’t help her upbringing either. “ah, chaehwa.” she sighed to herself. “okay. i’ll order some food in a minute.” she moved closer to the hallway, sparing chaehwa one last glance before saying, “i’m going to the bathroom first. think about what you want.” her steps stuttered halfway there when she realized there were two ways her words could be taken. well. hopefully chaehwa was done overthinking for the night.

[thememebunny]

Pre-Established Starters

Send a symbol for a pre-established relationship and I’ll write a starter based on the type!

Send multiple for a combined result!

🏫 Classmates (level of education is up to mun) 🏢 Coworkers (type of work is up to mun) 💔 Exes 💘 Unrequited love (whoever is love is up to mun) 💝 Dating 💞 Close friends 💕 Soul mates (platonic or romantic up to mun) 🎭 Frenemies  🔪 Enemies 💎 Partners in crime 👌 New friends 👊 Rivals 🏩 Friends with benefits 💮 Family (relationships is up to mun)

[s-aerom]

         eyes open for the very first time. if you could even call them that. for the first time, her system starts up after almost two full years of careful design and constant changes. she scans for the closest human body heat, a figure in front of her that matches the description she’s paired with. her eyes blink, and a smile is wide. “hello.” she says, voice soft. she’s too human-like for her own good. “are you my girlfriend?”

jieun wasn’t exactly pleased when a person-sized box arrived on her front door that afternoon. perhaps that entire bottle of wine to herself last tuesday night hadn’t been the best of ideas. she knew she was lonely these days, knew she was struggling with work but this. this was different than just calling her sister and crying about it. if that was sad, this was pathetic. 

yet still she pushed it through her front door and into the middle of the living room. still she broke the tape with her house key and opened the cardboard doors. she audibly inhaled at the first glance. you couldn’t really get close to her type than this. a few more seconds staring at the machine and a chill ran down her spine. it was almost like a dead girl was in that box. motionless, unbreathing and empty.

she reached inside and turned the android on. it took a second to warm up but when it did, it recognized her immediately. she almost jumped when it addressed her.

“hi. um. kind of. i guess.” jieun said, hesitantly. “just temporarily.”