Bill Cipher x Charlie Morningstar: You’re Acutie Though a Bit Obtuse, Right?
Why did I do this? Because I can. I'm cringe. I don't care.
Charlie Morningstar had started to lose hope due to the recent ordeal with Heaven until a rather geometric obsessed sinner appears on her doorstep, more specifically an unsolicited guest interested in redemption! While Charlie takes a liking to the new guest, some of the others welcome him while others regard him with suspicion especially Alastor, Charlie's trusted business partner.
AKA Bill Cipher has taken an interest in the Hazbin Hotel and as we all know, wherever Bill goes...chaos follows.
There was a twink at the door. Well, Angel didn’t know exactly what to call this dude’s cartoony ass. The second Angel’s mismatched eyes saw that smirk, cane, and eyesore of a golden suit, he spun around and called, “Eh! Alastor, your long lost half-brother or whatever’s at the door.”
The sinner smiled and tipped his top hat, “Actually, I want to be redeemed. I’m here for that.” He laughed, leaning on his golden cane.
“There’s a patient for you, Charlie!” Angel Dust nodded, cupping his hand next to his mouth as he hollered up the grand staircase.
Charlie blinked awake, rubbing her eyes and sat straight in bed. Patient. There’s a patient?! PATIENT! Her heart leaped and her body did as well as she scrambled out of bed. She was halfway out of her bedroom door still tugging on her slippers. Then she frantically popped her head back in the door, staring at the alarm clock: 1pm. One o’clock. How long did she sleep in for? Shit.
Charlie shook her head and called down, “I’ll be there in a minute!” At a record pace, she dashed down the hall, practically tripping over herself, desperately running a hand through her wild, unkempt hair. It was futile.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she whispered under her breath, taking the grand stairs two at a time which was probably very unwise. In a heap, she finally reached the door, heaving, huffing and puffing. Her hands were on her knees, and she bent over. Wow, she was out of shape. Then she snapped up and waved, “Hi, hi, my name’s Charlie.”
The sinner was, well, he looked a lot like Alastor. He was wearing a clean-cut golden coat with an odd pattern of bricks on the torso and long black dress pants. A black bowtie, a black top hat that seemed to hover slightly above his blonde dyed black hair. His eye was dark, and the right side of his face had a triangular eyepatch. His black gloved hands clutched a golden cane. Damn, he did look a lot like Alastor if he looked more human and favored gold over red.
“Yeah, hi, Charlie. The name’s Bill.” The sinner named Bill said leaning against his cane and extending a gloved hand. “I’m sure you haven’t heard of me!”
Charlie stared down at Bill’s outstretched hand. A small blue flame flickered in between his fingers and then died just as quickly. She blinked and beamed a smile at Bill, clasping hands with him. Well, a patient was a patient. “Hi, Bill! So, you’re interested in redeeming yourself?” With one firm shake, it ended.
“Hello?” Angel Dust narrowed his pink eyes at Bill who in turn glanced over at the Spider Demon. “You know I exist right?”
“Yeah, you’re Angel Dust. The porn star, right?” Bill’s eye slid over, rather unimpressed. Is that all what everyone saw when they looked at Angel?
A smirk spread across the Spider Demon’s face, and he smoothed back his fluffy hair, “So you’ve seen my vids?” Well, he didn’t seem to mind.
“Hah!” Bill laughed and Angel’s face turned sour, “Nah, just saw the billboards. You can’t really miss them in Hell, can you?”
“Likely story, one eyed,” Angel Dust narrowed his mismatched eyes at the one-eyed demon. He used his four hands to jab his pointer finger and long finger at him.
Bill grins, “Well, in life I worked at this mangy shack for who knows how long. Not really one for porn. I just really love kids.” Then he pauses and looks at Charlie’s horrified expression. “No, I’m not in for that . Had these two twins that kept ruining my life and giving me heck.” That grin thins, “I’ll get back at them…one of these days.”
“Ooookay! Ready to check in?” Charlie pumped a fist. Jeez, this guy seemed to be a bit of a wreck. Beefing with kids? Well! It was Hell after all! Everyone was a wreck.
“Yeah, speaking of which, don’t you have a check in counter?” Bill glanced around the spacious lobby wreathed in crimson. Even with one eye, he seemed to be combing through every detail.
“Budget’s a bit tight,” Charlie beamed a strained smile at him.
“Yeah…I can see that.” Bill said quickly and strolled ahead, his golden cane thumping on the ground with each step. Did he need it? He looked rather spry. A sinner that died in his prime. Charlie didn’t pry. She didn’t want to scare him off too early.
Angel Dust waved at the pair, “See you two later.” He sauntered back to the gilded golden doors leading out of this little pure bubble of hell. Charlie briefly glanced, seeing him go, go back to his own personal hell, back to Valentino. A frown was slowly crawling across his bright face, but she shoved it down.
The all too cheery sinner walked side by side with her and elbowed her in the side with a sharp elbow. “Hey, kid, why the glum face?”
Kid? Her mouth opened and then she snapped it close again. She was sure as hell a lot damn older than him. Again, she reminded herself…don’t scare him off. Whatever little sparks of fire sprouted from in between her clenched fingers extinguished.
“Nothing,” Charlie said shortly but thankfully Bill didn’t question it. He seemed preoccupied with the sights even if there wasn’t much to see. Paintings glowering down at them on the walls, long sweeping curtains curling around the window’s light, and what seemed to be eternally empty rooms lining the hall.
Her hand gripped the doorknob to her office and the bell hung to the doorknob jingled. She had almost expected Alastor to come rushing ahead of her to hold the door but of course, he wasn’t there. He was locked up in his radio tower doing who knows what.
She almost hurled at the sight. A new guest and this is what her office or well, her and Alastor’s office looked like? A large stained-glass window filtered in crimson sunlight into what she could barely call an office. Dusty bookshelves lined the walls where her parents’ paintings had once hung. Her and Alastor’s eyesore of a desk sat proudly at the center of the room, littered with scattered papers, a monitor with far too many files on the home screen, an obscene array of stress toys and silly colored gel pens strewn across the hard desk wood. At the midpoint of the half circular desk was a chair for a guest and across the desk were the chairs for her and Alastor.
“Sorry for the mess,” Charlie crossed to the desk, desperately swiping at the papers and plunking them onto the table in a semi-coherent pile. “You can sit–” Her eyes drifted back to the door’s threshold where he was. Then she motioned towards the seat across from her. But he wasn't there. She blinked. He disappeared. No. He didn’t disappear. He wouldn’t just–
“Nah, it's fine. Comfy chair by the way,” His voice said beside her, and she turned. There he was leaning back in his office chair, grinning at the princess and appearing way too comfortable in Alastor’s chair.
Oh. Well, maybe it's better that Alastor isn’t here.
Sitting in her business partner’s chair? Bold, cocky, definitely arrogant. Now who did that sound like: Alastor, Angel Dust, a bit of Vaggie, and her own father. Well, surely one more cocky arrogant bastard wasn’t going to burn down the Hotel, right?
Continue reading this abomination under here:
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
