It Comes Closer
The local high school's gym will be closed for the next two weeks for the levitation and cloud fighting lessons. Sign ups came to a close four weeks ago, so don't bother showing up if you didn't kick a table with your papers on it.
Team Nine was attacked recently, sending six if the heroes to the grave and three to the hospital. The assault is believed to come from the twins that escaped recently, Alexi and Charry Simon. As we all know, they are a dangerous pair. If you see them, do not approach them. Do not think of them. Do not think of anything. Remember, they are mind readers as well as criminals. Do not forget the signs of their presence; a contradictory set of feelings, of intense calm and knowing and a chaotic and high-energy desire to run around and destroy things.
The plane that has been hovering over the town for the past fourteen years has finally fallen from the sky. There were no deaths, but the twenty-four miraculously alive passengers were all injured. They are all in the hospital now.
A human figure has been spotted in the Edge. Please, along with the warnings to stay away from the heavily forested mountains, stay far from this figure. The only one permitted to approach it is Allen Marsh, who is known to wander the Edge when he needs some cleaner air. This figure is believed to be the Newcomer. This is not true. The Newcomer does not exist. The figure does not exist. Ignore him, or he will unravel everything we know and love. More on this thing that doesn't exist as the week goes on.
Its almost that time of year, citizens. Remember to avoid Allen Marsh at the end of the month and all of next month. If you notice any early changes in his behavior, please warn your neighbors and lock yourself in your house. Make sure to have enough food, water, and forms of entertainment for the coming month so you don't go completely insane.
In other news, Jo's Choice Candies and Sodas is still missing. Please join the search party so it may be returned to its rightful place across from the Food Court Theater.
Great news! Mayor Kelly Martin has given her Mayoral Sacrifice. How wonderful! Let's move on.
Allen has entered the Edge to investigate the figure. Remember that he and Mayor Kelly Martin are the only two permitted to enter the area, because they are the only ones who can travel through it safely.
A quadruple rainbow has been spotted on this mist-filled rainy day. Run. Everyone run and hide. Stay inside. Allen is still investigating that figure, but he is safe, for now.
A brief public service announcement: Whoever has the town's stolen portal sign, please return it.
The fluff balls have returned and are currently rolling around the town and hissing. Steve's stupid kitten has taken to meowing at the five that are outside the main entrance. That stupid cat. I'll be back, both to take my break and get that kitten out of trouble.
I am back. I plopped that tiny thing on Steve's desk. He seemed both happy and terrified in equal measure. That's the phrase, right? Either way, his face got really red and he started stuttering. I hate to say this, but it was cute. I told him as much and he started screaming. I just left after that.
The final day of our week has come to a close. Bye, I guess? What the fuck else do I say? Oh well.
-Ace Carson