Hot Takes for No Nuance November :) [BMC Edition]
1) IF YOU’RE GONNA WRITE CINNABUN, THEN IT SHOULDN’T JUST BE A BACKGROUND SHIP TO BOYFS, RICHJAKE, AND P*NKBERRY
2) LIKEWISE, IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO EXPENSIVE HEADPHONES, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO DEERE? DO LIKE- UPSTAGE OR PUPPY LOVE OR SOMETHING. MAKE IT INTERESTING.
3) I GET RIVERWAY BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO ANY OTHER SQUIP SHIPS? THAT’S LITERALLY LIKE SLAPPING YOUR DICK ON YOUR PHONE AND CALLING IT EROTIC
4) BOYFS, STAGEDORKS, AND P*NKBERRY (AND ANY CHLOE SHIPS IN GENERAL) ARE TOXIC AS FUCK
5) RICH’S LISP ISN’T CUTE. STOP SEXUALIZING IT. AND STOP WRITING IT OUT IN FANFICS UNLESS IT’S FOR EFFECT
6) MOST FANS THAT ARE LIKE “uwu smol boy rich” ARE PROBABLY SHORTER THAN HIM (REMINDER, HE’S 5″5′, THEREFORE HE IS ONLY SHORT FOR A GUY)
7) IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE A CHARACTER THAT ISN’T CIS, DON’T MAKE THEIR IDENTITY THEIR ENTIRE PERSONALITY. PLEASE. (HAVING TRANS/NB HCS ARE FINE JUST PLEASE HAVE A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF IT)
8) RICHJAKE, SLUSHPUPPIES, APOCALYPSE PLAY, EXPENSIVE PLAY, STAGEDORKS, CHATTY DRUNKS, AND BOYF RIENDS ARE ALL BETTER AS PLATONIC SHIPS
9) Y’ALL ARE SLEEPING ON GAME THEORIES (JENNA X JEREMY)
10) MICHAEL ISN’T AS DEPRESSED AS A LOT OF PEOPLE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE. HE HAD ONE MELTDOWN. GRANTED, IT’S ENTIRELY PLAUSIBLE HE HAS ANXIETY OR EXISTENTIALISM BUT HE’S CONSISTENTLY SHOWN TO BE A BETTER OFF CHARACTER THAT WOULDN’T BE “DEPRESSED AND HIDING IT.” YOU FUCKERS WANNA KNOW WHO CANONCIALLY HAS DEPRESSION THOUGH? RICH.
11) WE NEED TO OVERTHROW THE BOYF RIENDS SUPREMACY
12) DON’T MAKE AN OC IF IT FUCKS WITH CANON (LIKE MAKING A “JEREMY’S SISTER” OC OR SOMETHING). SHIT LIKE RICH’S BROTHER OR FAMILY MEMBERS THAT AREN’T EXPLICITLY MENTIONED ARE OKAY. AND SO ARE SECOND GEN OCS. HELL, I HAVE AN OC THAT’S LITERALLY JUST MICHAEL’S SHITTY EX. BUT SOME OF YALL JUST GOT SOME MARY SUES IN THIS BITCH
13) JAKE ISN’T AS BUFF AS RICH. AND MICHAEL’S A LITTLE CHONKY. BE REALISTIC HERE PEOPLE.
14) A LOT OF SHIPS WOULDN’T HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SQUIPCIDENT. IT MIGHT TAKE SEVERAL MONTHS. OR HELL, EVEN YEARS. P*NKBERRY WOULDN’T EVEN BE NEAR TO PLAUSIBLE UNTIL CHLOE GOT HER SHIT TOGETHER (AKA, PROBABLY POST-HIGH SCHOOL)
15) IF YOU’RE GOING TO DRAW A SHIP, MAKE SURE THE PRODUCTIONS MATCH. DON’T DRAW TWO RIVER JAKE WITH BROADWAY JEREMY
16) CONSIDER: DUSTIN SHIPS.
17) Y’ALL ARE ALSO SLEEPING ON MELLMAN (JARED X MICHAEL)
18) CHRISTINE ISN’T AS INNOCENT AS PEOPLE ALWAYS PORTRAY HER TO BE. SURE, SHE MIGHT NOT SWEAR AS MUCH BUT SHE’S STILL A TEENAGER
19) SPEAKING OF CHRISTINE, SHE’S ALSO AN EXTREMELY INDEPENDENT WOMAN WITH COUNTLESS INTERESTS, STRONG OPINIONS, AND A VIBRANT PERSONALITY. HELL, SHE SET BOUNDARIES WITH JEREMY BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE’S THE LOVE INTEREST, SHE’S NOT GOING TO BE BENDING OVER BACKWARD FOR SOME BOY’S ATTENTION
20) JEREMY’S KIND OF A JERK. HE CAN REDEEM HIMSELF BUT REMINDER: STILL A JERK. HE OBJECTIFIED CHRISTINE BECAUSE HE GOT SO INVESTED AT THE IDEA OF HAVING A CRUSH AND A GIRLFRIEND LIKE HER
21) JAKE AND RICH WOULDN’T BE SO OPEN TO TALK ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS, EVEN WITH EACH OTHER
22) WE NEED MORE JENNA REPRESENTATION
23) CONSIDER: POLY SHIPS (SPECIFICALLY EXPENSIVE PINS AND PATCHES)
24) YALL ARE ALSO SLEEPING ON PLAYRIDE
That is all. Will update if I think of anything :)