RusCan- Trust
[ RusCan Drabble. Warnings for cheating. Obviously pairing is RusCan but Ivan is the one getting cheated on soooo yea.. Mention of amecan] ————————————-
"It was only one time" Matthew tries to explain, his eyes on the floor. "Just that one time, it wasn’t anything serious. It didn’t mean anything"
There’s a pause before Ivan looks up from Matthew’s phone. “Do you think I’m stupid Matvey?”
Matthew feels the temperature drop.
Ivan is cold today. Frigid. Icy. Unrelenting. Unforgiving.
"Your password..was not too difficult" Ivan says it casually, but even his expression doesn’t soften as his tone turns to honey. “You’ve been acting strange, and I wondered why….”
Of course Ivan had figured it out…had known…Matthew played with the hem of his jacket. He always noticed /everything/.
"I-Ivan I-"
"/I-I-I/ Shut up Matthew. You fucked him. Take responsibility"
His expression is unreadable, but Matthew is quickly reminded of the warnings he received from the other countries when they’d started dating.
Don’t make him angry. Don’t mess up. Don’t fuck up. Don’t fuck up because he will hurt you.
How could he have fucked up so bad.
"He’s my brother…"
"And you think that makes it alright?"
Ivan gives a small laugh, mocking Matthew with his next few words.
"I look like him so it won’t count? I’m so forgettable Ivan won’t figure it out? I’m so starved for attention….it’ll be alright?"
It’s a testament to Ivan’s maturity that he hasn’t lashed out physically, or even emotionally even though he could break him. (The satisfaction of that fleeting thought, comforts Ivan.)
"I’m sorry"
The words are useless, empty, and flat. Meaningless against the situation. Matthew knows this but he says them anyway, so quiet he has to say it one more time, and then another
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry"
Eventually the floor becomes fuzzy through his tears, and when he feels like he can’t cry anymore, when he looks his worst with snot dripping down his chin mixed with saliva, he feels Ivan’s arms around his shoulders, and he cries some more.
"I love you too"
——-
Ivan waits until Matthew is asleep to log on to his boyfriend’s email, check his phone, and any instant messages every other night.
"I just don’t trust you"