How I’ve been feeling lately...
The top two pictures are from December. I was feeling really sad one day and decided that I was going to take control of my life, well at least a part I could control, my hair. I bleached my hair, MYSELF, and over the next 4 months I decided to dye my hair pink, bright pink, fuchsia, blue and grey. Needless to say my hair is now dead. I had to dye my hair back brown before I went on my study abroad trip and the third picture shows me currently with very boring brown hair. When my hair was colored I felt proud, confident and liberated. It made me in control of an aspect of my life and made me stand out. that brought me so much joy. Since I colored my hair myself it wasn’t always the most beautiful color or the most healthy, but doing something fun filled me with excitement and made me feel giddy. Bringing it back to the present, I am craving that exhilaration again. I have been feeling disappointed with myself and irritated with my situation. School is an isolating experience for me and I know there is nothing I can change about that, I have to get an education and be away from my family and loved ones. I am joining a sorority and clubs and trying to change my feeling of being alone, but it’s not changing. If I can’t control how lonely I feel even when I am surrounded by people, I at least want to go back to controlling my own hair. Which is why I have been craving either cutting my hair, shaving my head or dying it again. I want to go back to this because I feel lonely and not in control of my own life, I crave the positive feelings that changing my hair gave me.