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This is one of those times im not sure how to react. I was lost in a depressive hole and chose to be unable to talk to my friends. Am i attention seeking? Am i genuinely sad? Hurt? Idk anymore. All i know is that it hurts to exist and im finding it hard to take deep breaths... i feel so so hurt and dont even know where to begin...with anything. I just....
Love is when you're irritated with babe kind of but you don't want them to leave because you'd miss them. <3
Just got home and idk what to do with myself. A friend kept me out to help distract me but now I'm home alone and all I see is him and all I feel is numb.
thoughts being screamed in my head
These are thought that are being shouted obtrusive manner in my head. I'd very much like to get them out of my head. WHAT DID INDONTONDESERVE TO BE SO UNLOVED BY YOU? WHAT DID SHE DO TO DESERVE YOUR SMILE. THAT SMILE SHOULD BE MINE. WHERE ARE MY FUCKING GLASSES WHY DON'T WE LAUGH ANYMORE WHY DON'T WE SMILE ANYMORE? WHY DO I CRY ALL THE TIME? WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME? WHY ARE YOU WITH ME? WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO STEAL MY IPAD? WHY CAN'T I BE BETTER WHEN WILL THESE MEDS KICK IN SO THAT I CAN STOP CRYING. I HATE CRYING WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE THAT I JUST WANT YOU TO ASK MORE THAN ONCE. I WANT TO MOVE TO TENNESSEE. WHY WON'T THESE THOUGHTS GO AWAY. MY HEAD HURTS. EVERYTHING HURTS. HONESTY IS A SHITTY SHITTY THING. I'M SORRY AL I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I HATE ME I'M SORRY.
Honesty is reeling it's ugly head again... and I'm dealing with the consequences
I want you you to wonder about me the way I wonder about you. I want you to ask me questions the way I ask you questions. And I know you go through what you go through but I want to be there you when you can't deal. I want to be a great friend. And I can't tell if at this juncture how much more than that. Do I want kisses? Do I want love? Do I just want sex? I don't know but I definitely want to be better friends. Idk. Ughh.wjy is life so hard
