For my favorite Dad, @ackbang
I know you didn’t ask for this but I’ve always wanted to write something for you and I felt inspired by your response to an ask about Levi being a chef and Erwin trying to help out and messing up. This is my take on that. I hope you like it and I love you ❤️
Erwin furrowed his brows in concentration as he slowly fed the dough through the pasta maker. He watched in anticipation as the noodles arrived safely and unbroken draped over his awaiting hand. A satisfied smile crossed his face as he carefully lowered the pasta into the boiling water on the stove.
A nervous excitement buzzed in his veins as he stirred the freshly made tomato sauce he had prepared earlier, bubbling at a perfect simmer. Erwin chuckled to himself as he thought back to a point in time when he had never eaten foods that didn’t come from a jar or box with the words ‘easy’ or ‘fast’ on the label.
When he and Levi had first started dating, Erwin had never used any kitchen appliances outside of the fridge and microwave. He had been perfectly content with just popping something in, hitting some buttons and being able to scarf it down in minutes.
That had all changed after a disastrous first attempt at surprising Levi with a homemade dinner. Erwin had felt a bit nervous about cooking a meal for his boyfriend, whom just happened to be a professional chef at a busy restaurant downtown. It had been a match made in heaven as far as Erwin was concerned.
Levi liked to cook and Erwin liked to eat. Not only that but Erwin’s eyes had been opened to the world beyond the realm of TV dinners and instant ramen. Levi made such amazing meals for the both of them even when he was tired from a full day’s work. Erwin appreciated that so much that he had decided that he would give Levi a break and return the favor.
Even though Erwin had no cooking experience other than microwaving from his college days and the instructions he had glanced at on wikihow, he figured it couldn’t be that hard. He had chosen to make spaghetti with tomato sauce since the recipe seemed to be straightforward and was even accompanied by pictures. It also involved very few appliances which was good because Levi’s fancy kitchen was pretty much like the small man’s work persona: pristine and intimidating.
Erwin gathered the tomatoes, onions and garlic that the recipe had called for and placed them on the counter. The next step was to boil the tomatoes and sauté the onion and garlic in some olive oil. After taking another glance at the directions on his phone, he noticed that the estimated cooking time was at least 2 hours from start to finish. Erwin now regretted procrastinating for most of the afternoon. After studying the steps again, he figured he could combine a few and still be done before Levi arrived home from work.
Erwin hacked up some onions and garlic and crammed them into the blender along with some tomatoes.He then set a pot with water on the stove and plopped the noodles in. He put the lid on the blender and flipped the switch. The machine made a small screeching sound and then quieted down to a hum. All seemed well so he decided to text Mike about a meme Hange had sent him earlier that he thought was hilarious.
Moments later all hell had broken loose when the lid from the blender shot off towards the ceiling, the contents inside erupting like a geyser covering the once gleaming stainless steel appliances in a torrent of puréed vegetables. Erwin gaped at the scene before him in amazement that turned into sheer panic. Just when he thought that things couldn’t get any worse, he then heard footsteps approaching before they stopped abruptly and a confused “What..the..Fuck?” sounded from the kitchen entrance.
Erwin sighed and turned to face his boyfriend. Levi’s expression appeared to be somewhere between disbelief and disgust. “I tried to surprise you with dinner and I messed up, I’m sorry Levi.” Erwin replied softly and awaited the wrath that was sure to follow.
Levi remained silent and moved forward into the kitchen. Erwin watched anxiously as Levi surveyed the dripping walls and then plucked uncooked pasta from the pot on the stove. Erwin swallowed nervously when Levi turned his attention back to him.
Levi shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re lucky I love you, ya know that?” Levi asked.
Erwin gave a solemn nod. “I know.” He murmured apologetically.
Levi then sprang into action. “First we’re going to clean this shit up, then we’re ordering takeout and starting tomorrow I’m teaching you how to cook.” Levi ordered as he handed Erwin a bucket and sponge.
“Thank you Levi, I appreciate it.” Erwin murmured apologetically.
Levi sighed.”I’m just glad that you didn’t hurt yourself, idiot. I still love you.” He replied as he swatted Erwin’s ass as he moved past him to get started.
Levi kept true to his promise and taught Erwin how to cook as they prepared dinner together on the weekends. Erwin enjoyed watching Levi move around the kitchen with the grace of an experienced dancer while Erwin was more like a lame horse. He cherished those lessons because not only did he learn how to cook, he felt that his bond with Levi grew even stronger.
Levi never did forget the dinner disaster but thankfully the only time it ever came up was at social gatherings among friends when Levi overindulged in cocktails which happened pretty rarely. As soon as Erwin heard the words; “Hey Erwin, remember the time you surprised me by making dinner?” He would excuse himself from the room with a groan.
The timer on the oven chimed loudly bringing Erwin back from his memories and into the present. He grabbed some oven mitts and removed the garlic bread from the oven and placed it in the bread basket to cool. He then proceeded to set the table and plated the food knowing that Levi would arrive home at any moment. The only mishap was a small sauce stain on the tablecloth but it was easily remedied by a strategically placed candle holder.
Levi arrived on time as usual and Erwin had met him at the door. “Well I didn’t see any ambulances or fire trucks outside so I’m guessing everything went ok?”Levi asked trying to hide a smile.
Erwin pouted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence darling.” Erwin sulked.
“I’m kidding, you sap.” Levi replied as he walked into the dining room.
Dinner went perfectly much to Erwin’s relief. Levi actually finished his plate and Erwin beamed with pride at the silent compliment. Levi was not one to feign satisfaction and Erwin loved him for that.
Finally Levi leaned forward and looked Erwin in the eyes. “Hey, do you remember that time-“
Erwin groaned. “Really, Levi?” He interrupted growing irritated.
Levi held up one finger. “ I wasn’t finished, don’t be rude.” He chided. “Remember That time you made that fucking amazing dinner and I let you eat your favorite dessert in bed?”
A crooked grin crossed Erwin’s face when Levi grabbed the strawberries and whipped cream from the refrigerator. “I can’t say I do.” Erwin said huskily.
“Well, get naked and meet me in the bedroom and I’ll make sure you’ll never forget.” Levi purred as he walked past.
