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Dear Gus & Baby #2,
Gus helped me make dinner tonight by stirring the melting butter in with the barramundi. I can't remember if I've mentioned this but we're trying out different meal prep services and have been most pleased with Green Chef so far. Good recipes, organic food.
Dad.
Little Rock, Arkansas. 3.3.2021 - 6.46pm.
SIDENOTE: If anyone's out there and wants to try Green Chef, use this link. You'll get a discount and I will too.
Dear Gus & Baby #2,
After school today, Gus and I went to Yiayia & Papou's so I could keep working and meet some deadlines I had at work. While I worked, Chef Gus helped Yiayia put the icing on a homemade strawberry cake, which was delicious.
Dad.
Little Rock, Arkansas. 4.2.2021 - 4.57pm.
Dear Gus,
Chef Gus helped Mom make some cauliflower mashed potatoes tonight.
I asked you what you did at school today and you gave me a detailed account that involved ratting yourself out for taking a toy away from your friend Collins. “And then Ms. Mary said...” [you got a serious look on your face] “...Guuuuus...”
The humor doesn’t translate nearly as well in writing because your impression of an adult makes it. I made you repeat it to me at least five times throughout the night because it was so funny.
Dad.
North Little Rock, Arkansas. 7.15.2020 - 6.18pm.
Dear Gus,
We went over to YP’s this morning to celebrate Father’s Day with eggs benedict. You helped ladle the hollandaise. I remember when I was a teenager and my dad started attempting to cook more. (He didn’t get decent at it until I was in college.) I have a vivid memory of him going on and on about how much he loved hollandiase sauce and one day he made some--it had to have been from scratch because he made such a big deal about it. I tasted it and I didn’t understand what he liked so much about it, but I liked seeing him all worked up over it. It’s a strange thing to want to like something simply because your dad likes it. All my life I tried to like the things he liked, no matter what it was. My desire to try and bond with my dad never fully faded, but some time after his stroke, I realized that even when the stars aligned and we got to have a mutual appreciation for things in the same space at the same time, it wouldn’t satisfy me like I thought. That disappointed me, but also provided me with a sense of relief because I had the freedom to move on after that. His brain wasn’t always firing on all cylinders around that time, so I felt like my shot at really forging the kind of adult friendship I wanted with my dad had passed. My dad wasn’t the dad I needed anymore.
I carry a void inside me that is all the things I thought I’d be able to bond with my dad over that we never had. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him, and we bonded over some things, but not in the way I would’ve liked as an adult. And probably not how he would’ve liked. It’s not his fault, and I understand that. But I assume that void will always be a driving force in my commitment to keeping you close to me, no matter where you are in the world, and no matter what interests you. I’ll always be here, and I’ll always be so proud to be your dad.
Dad.
North Little Rock, Arkansas. 6.21.2020 - 9.23am.
Dear Gus,
When I came in from the office tonight, I found you helping Mom in the kitchen--that’s your new thing. You go get your step-stool from the bathroom and then help stir. Our plan to make you a chef might just be working.
Dad
North Little Rock, Arkansas. 1.20.2020 - 6.16pm.
Dear Gus,
Yiayia made us dinner when we got back home today and you liked helping her stir the peppers and onions. When she’d walk away from them, you would grunt at her to go back and stir them some more. It seems our plan to make you a chef may be taking hold?
Dad
North Little Rock, Arkansas. 6.21.2018 - 6.45pm.
Dear Gus,
Your mother and I will support whatever (legal) career path you choose to take, but you should know that our ideal situation is that you become a chef. Our attempt to subtly nudge you in that direction is to keep kitchen utensils in your hands so you familiarize yourself with them. Seriously, learn to make us delicious things.
Dad
North Little Rock, Arkansas. 2.27.2018 - 5.53pm.
Dear Gus & Magnus,
We hit the holiday art market at Boulevard this afternoon, then went to Yiayia's house for dinner. You two manned the salt and pepper.
Dad.
North Little Rock, Arkansas. 11.30.2024 - 4.19pm.
