scan anxiety : it's so real and so hard to handle. I've cried everyday this week and maybe even every moment I'm alone with me thoughts and anxieties over this cancer crap. everyone has offered to take the day off and come with me for this test but i cant see a point in bringing along anyone to sit and watch me drink some radioactive liquid and wait for this machine to scan my body for cancer that may have escaped 6 months of chemotherapy. I feel bad for my family and husband dealing with some of this anxiety over wanting answer and figuring out where we go from here. over this last week I just feel guilty for all the stress and emotions that my cancer has put on others that I care about. that is the furthest from what I could ever want in this life and yet still can hardly believe this is what my life has come to. being very truly in the moment because I have no other choice I can only be here and I can only wait because I can't see, plan or desire much more than health for my future. ok here we go scan at 11am fingers and toes crossed, prayers being requested and made.