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Chidorillator Chapter 6

Title: Chidorillator Summary: A request from Sakura for Sasuke to teach her the chidori opens up a whole bigger can of worms than she was expecting. Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. Rating: T Warning(s): Mentions of war, death, and some foul language

“Show me what you can do,” Sasuke demanded the moment the duo’s feet hit the clearing.

Sakura eyed him suspiciously. In their short sprint to the impromptu training grounds, she could have sworn his breathing was much sharper than it needed to be. His eyes would also tighten at random intervals--miniscule enough that most would miss it and the others who did notice would just think he was annoyed. The few years she’d been his teammate had not been wasted, however, and Sakura knew that this was not his annoyed neutral expression. It was almost as if he was in pain…

When Sasuke's breath hitched as he crossed his arms over his chest, Sakura’s eyes narrowed further. He was in pain! That idiot, why hadn’t he told her? He had to know she would heal him no matter what, since she had spent hours put his body back together just days ag--oh.

Oh.

She had healed him just days ago--completely, in fact. The only thing that should be troubling him now was exhaustion, for the most part. Since then, Sakura had it on good authority that the last Uchiha had remained mostly in his “tent.” While it was possible that Naruto and Sasuke had got into some sort of squabble since the end of the war, she distinctly remembered someone else getting physical with her old teammate.

Her.

When she poked him hard enough to fracture his ribcage.

And then walked away without so much as offering to heal it.

The chances of him actually asking another medic were laughably small, which meant he was still probably dealing with the damage she’d dealt him. Sakura huffed, feeling somewhere between exasperated and guilty, which caused Sasuke to raise one questioning eyebrow in her direction. Smothering another sigh, she began to walk purposefully towards him. His hand twitched as she approached, as if looking for Kusanagi, but settled for shifting just enough that his shoulder would take the brunt of an attack.

Sakura slowed down, confused by his reaction. Sasuke had been challenging her to show him her chidori, not to spar with him. That had been clear. So did he really think Sakura would attack him now? Without any sort of provocation?

Days ago--or had it been just yesterday? Time seemed to be playing tricks on her--when she felt like she could spit fire she was so angry with him, Sasuke’s wariness would have been satisfying. The vindictive portion or her would have wanted to see Sasuke acknowledge her as a potential threat.

But things had changed--Sasuke being one of them.

He was her teammate again. Or, at least, he was considering it--their relationship. Sakura didn’t know what made Sasuke turn on Konoha with such hatred, and until this morning, Naruto had been the only one he had treated with anything but barely-repressed-malice. It was possible that that wouldn’t change anytime soon, but then again, even as a genin, Sasuke’s relationship with the majority of Konoha could be best described as standoffish. His team had eventually come to be the exception to his cold behavior. Now Sasuke was offering to train her and looking out for her well-being? That was her teammate.

Sakura’s stomach churned, and, despite the fact that she couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten something other than a ration, she knew hunger wasn’t the cause. A teammate should never look at her with that sort of wariness.

Holding her hands up as if she was surrendering, Sakura let her healing chakra surround her palms. Somewhat timidly, she said, “I think it might be better if I give you another demonstration of my healing abilities, first.”

With her intentions clear, Sasuke looked much less reluctant to let her in his personal space. He even turned to face her fully so that she had full access to his ribcage.

Unfortunately, Sasuke had neglected to unzip his shirt all the way, thus leaving Sakura with the conundrum of how she was best to address his rib. His current style was to leave his shirt only partially zipped up, which meant it was conceivable that she could slip her hand through the opening. But would that obstruct her healing? It wasn’t like Sasuke to wear skin tight things, so it might be possible…

You’re a professional. Act like it. Sakura mentally shook herself. This was ridiculous. She had to stop fawning over him. If Sasuke was any other person, what would you do? The answer came to her immediately, and Sakura squared her shoulders before moving forward purposefully.

“I’m going to unzip your shirt all the way so I have unhindered access to your rib,” Sakura told him. She refused to meet his eyes, sure her cheeks would erupt into flames if she did. Her voice hadn’t wavered though! That was a success at least.

At first she had been concerned that the zipper was going to get stuck as she tried to undo it--or something equally mortifying. Any such concerns disappeared when Sakura caught a glimpse of a purple as dark as Sasuke’s chakra within the confines of the fabric. She frowned and opened his shirt as quickly efficiently as possible before she pushed the fabric aside.

Searching for the break with chakra wasn’t necessary. A hands’ width below Sasuke’s right nipple rested a bruise the size of Sakura’s palm. The center was a solid dark purple, but the edges were mottled with both blue and the dark purple. There wasn’t a hint of healing green--not that she had really expected there to be. The green of a bruise generally didn’t set in until just before a week had had past from the initial injury. Still, it looked painful.

Was painful, Sakura corrected herself. Sasuke had inhaled sharply as Sakura brushed her hand over the injury. Again, the breath was only minutely different--just a titch quicker and out of sync with his normal breathing rhythm. Sakura had been healing hardened warriors enough to know when something hurt, though. And she had known Sasuke even longer than that.

Sakura looked up to find Sasuke looking at her, an apology on her lips. His eyebrows were pinched together, but he remained still. Allowing her to cause him discomfort. Trusting that she was trying to help him. Trusting her.

“This will only hurt for a second,” she assured him.

Sure enough, when Sakura pressed two fingers against the fracture, Sasuke flinched. But, as she had promised, the soothing numbness of her healing chakra soon encompassed the area. Sakura was free to speed up the production of the soft callus and coax it to produce collagen rapidly without fear of causing him more pain.

Bone repair was tedious work; there was a reason she had assigned it as a punishment earlier. The body rarely had issue mending bones itself, but it took both time and guidance. So, it was now Sakura’s job to encourage the body to work exponentially faster than it would ever do in the first place without allowing it do so sloppily. In this instance, Sakura was both an energy source and a cast.

It was, to borrow a phrase from Shikamaru, troublesome.

“That should do it,” she commented after five minutes of concentration. Sweat had begun to bead at her hair line, and Sakura ran her hand through her hair to disguise the fact that she was swiping it away. While bone repair was hard work, healing a fracture--not even a full break!--probably shouldn’t have caused her to break a sweat. She didn’t want Sasuke to become overly concerned all call off their training.

Luckily, Sasuke had been zipping his shirt back up and hadn’t given her movement a second thought.

“Right,” Sasuke drew a deep breath, then exhaled. Seemingly pleased with the results, he continued, “Tell me why you need the chidori.”

And so Sakura did. She told Sasuke of the current death toll and how many more they were expected to lose. She told him how draining their current methods were and why they were no longer working. She told him how they had lost the few defibrillators they’d brought in the chaos of the war and how much longer replacements would take to arrive.

Throughout the whole explanation, Sasuke had been watching her solemnly. Until the last bit of her explanation, that is.

“You’re risking death by chakra depletion for a problem whose solution is only six days away?” His voice was low--some might even call it dismissive--but Sakura caught the hint of a growl.

“Of course!” Sakura exclaimed, “Were you listening to how many people we could lose in those six days?” Throwing her hands up in the air exasperatedly, Sakura began to pace. “And even if we medics do, by some miracle, stave off these impending deaths, we’ll be so exhausted that we’ll start losing patients to stupid mistakes!”

This was a problem Sakura had spent countless hours agonizing over, and everything she had thought spilled from her mouth.“Do you know, by chance, the consequences of a poorly set bone?”

Since Sakura had just healed one of Sasuke’s bones, the example might drive the point home better than any of her other examples.

“You weren’t in much danger since you only fractured one bone,” she told him, pointing at aforementioned bone. “But what if you’d broken a whole mess of bones at once? Like, oh, I don’t know, say you Naruto had to beat the ever living crap out of one another before you could have a heart to heart. Because testosterone or some shit.”

Both Sasuke’s eyebrows rose at that one, but he remained silent, allowing Sakura to continue.

“Say I, and every other medic, was too exhausted to properly heal your bones all the way. Bones contain fat tissue, and normally it isn’t a big deal if some leaks into the bloodstream. Sometimes, though, these traveling fat macroglobules--that’s called fat embolism, by the way--will become lodged somewhere. So now you have ischemia and and inflammation of that area, with other side effects like inflammatory mediators, vasoactive amines, and platelet aggregation.”

Although Sasuke was better at hiding it than Naruto, Sakura could tell his eyes had glazed over. She stopped her pacing, and looked down at the ground to collect her thoughts with her hands propped on her hips. How to best explain this? She could spout survival rates or other stats until she was blue in the face, but--consequences. Sasuke understood consequences.

“You develop fat embolism syndrome,” Sakura said finally. She held up three fingers before continuing, “This can lead to respiratory insufficiency”--she lowered her pointer finger-- “multiorgan failure”--she lowered her middle finger-- “and brain dysfunction”--she lowered her ring finger. “One misstep, three big issues down the road.”

Barely perceptible eye widening from Sasuke. There. Now he was starting to understand. Sakura paused to allow time for that all to really sink in. When Sasuke’s perpetual scowl deepened to proportionately reflect the severity of the situation, she threw her hands up into the air.

“See? And that’s only one mistake that could cause widespread issues!” Sakura resumed her pacing. “Don’t even get me started on sepsis. All that needs to happen is for an infection to trigger too strong of an immune response, and then--”

“Sakura, stop. I understand the implications,” Sasuke interrupted. Sakura paused, mid hand-flailing and looked over at him. “I understand, even if I don’t like it.”

There was a pause.

“But I should rephrase, what, exactly, do you need from the chidori to help these patients?”

--x--

After explaining that Sakura needed the chidori to function as a sort of “field” defibrillator because her patients had been overstimulated by foreign chakra sources, Sasuke had agreed that this was a need the chidori might be able to fill. He then demanded to see how far Sakura had come in her attempts to master it.

So, there Sakura was, taking the stance she had already come to hate in the short amount of time she had spent with it. Her skin was still red and raw from her last attempts at the chidori, but that was only because the skin itself was fresh. Her burns didn’t have the distinctive charring of a third degree burn. Traipsing around in a field hospital with an open, oozing would was just asking for trouble.

Of course, the moment Sakura forced her chakra to fluctuate beyond her control, her flesh was put on the line once again. Thus far her partial-chidori had failed to literally blow up her face. She decided to take that as a good sign.

Sasuke, however, was frowning.

“Okay, I’ve seen enough. Stop, Sakura,” he ordered.

Surprised, Sakura called her chakra back into her body. It was happy enough to comply, having hated to be forced to fluctuate in the first place. Kakashi had never criticized how she molded her chakra. Actually, Sakura thought that was the only part of this whole technique that she had down. And that had been the fastest she’d ever convinced her chakra to wave around erratically!

Just as Sakura had been starting to deflate, thinking of how far she was from mastering the chidori if she was even bad at the part she thought she was good at, Sasuke spoke again.

“Your form is perfect, and your chakra is in the right shape,” he said. Some of the despair that had been threatening to overtake Sakura faded. “By all rights, you should be wielding lightning right now.”

By all rights? Meaning she was doing everything right but still failing? Sakura cocked her head, but didn’t voice her question. Sasuke, well, he wasn’t frowning exactly. But his face was rather intense--and pointed. He stared at her wrist as if getting a look inside it would yield the answers they needed. If it was that easy, Sakura would have split the appendage open days ago herself.

Sasuke finally raised his gaze from her wrist to her eyes. “How are you attempting to make the final transition from chakra to lightning?”

“Kakashi-sensei described it as a series of interconnected explosive tags,” Sakura began, struggling to remember their old mentor’s exact wording. He had used that Amakagure kunoichi’s--Konan?--technique as an example. “Once you set one tag off, the rest will follow. I’ve been trying to overload one strand of chakra with power until it snaps into form. I thought if I could get one strand to change form, the rest would follow.

Sasuke’s eyes widened marginally at her explanation--the equivalent of a low whistle.

“The burns on your wrist suddenly make sense,” he commented dryly, “That description fits a fire technique much more than a lightning technique.”

Sakura blinked once. Then again. “I’ve been doing this all wrong the whole time?”

“Not completely wrong,” Sasuke corrected, “You were just misinterpreting the final step of the instructions.”

Was that--was that meant to be comforting? Was Sasuke comforting her? There was no actual need for Sasuke to inform her that not everything she had been working on was wrong. Then when he said ‘you were just’? Just was a world practically invented to take the sting off of harsh words. And--

Aaand she was over-analyzing the hell out of this. Again.

“Okay,” Sakura nodded, forcing herself to focus on Sasuke’s conclusion and not the way he had delivered it. “How would you interpret the final step?”

“It’s an impulse,” Sasuke said almost immediately, “You might be spending too much time playing with the chakra’s form. It should be your chakra, and then it should be lightning. You should strike as fast as lightning would.”

Sakura immediately found an issue with this new instruction. Raising her pointer finger, she hastened to interject, “I’m not trying to strike anyone, Sasuke. I need a more controlled form of the chidori--not the version you would learn as an attack.”

The look Sasuke gave her was so familiar she almost had to turn around and see if Naruto was standing behind her.

“I wasn’t exactly suggested that you start electrocuting patients,” Sasuke said. He didn’t roll his eyes, but he might as well have. “Lightning isn’t controlled, and that’s what you’re struggling with creating in the first place. Once you do that, attempts to modify it should be met with much more success.”

Alright. Fair enough.

“Show me,” Sakura demanded. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her tone, so she added, “Kakashi’s transition from chakra to lightning was never quick, but he might have exaggerating the transition time so that I could see how his chakra formed.” Which was why she wanted Sasuke to teach her in the first place. “Could you show me how it’s supposed to look?”

With the barest of nods, Sasuke assumed the stance Sakura had been in only moments before. Purple chakra surrounded his arm. It didn’t take the tight sphere-like shape that Sakura’s did when she summoned hers. Instead it seemed rough at the edges--naturally hazy. Not that she had time to study it, really. Sasuke’s chakra was there, pulsing around his hand, and then there was blue lightning. Crackling and arcing wildly--so much so that Sakura had to take a hasty step back to avoid getting shocked.

Then it was gone. Sasuke straightened up, met her eyes, and tilted his head ever so slightly. Got it?

Sakura shook her head. She was close to understand something important; she knew it. In the back of her head there was this nagging feeling of--of something. There was a Susanoo-sized revelation lurking somewhere in her brain, but she just couldn’t catch it.

“Again, please.”

As Sasuke widened his step, Sakura crept as close as she dared. There was no dojutsu that she could count on to detect whatever miniscule change it was that she was missing. Razor sharp focus and determination would have to carry her forward. So she gritted her teeth and watched, not even daring to blink as the purple energy broke Sasuke’s skin once more. This time she didn’t spend any time analyzing the shape--not when she knew the transformation was so close behind.

Almost immediately, Sasuke’s chakra snapped into electricity. Not all at once, though. That was what it had looked like at first, but now that she knew what to focus on, Sakura could see the change occurred almost like a wave stemming from the base of his hand. Like an impulse.

“Oh!” Sakura stood up so quickly she got dizzy, and she had to throw her arms out for balance. Sasuke was suddenly right there, arms hovering away from his body like he was ready to catch her at a moment’s notice. Nope. She couldn’t think about that. Couldn’t get hung up on the fact that Sasuke was ready to wrap her up in his firm, strong arm--nope! Sakura had to try this out before she got distracted.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she said as she stepped out of his reach and waved him off. “I think I’ve got it, watch!”

This time when Sakura called her chakra to her arm, she didn’t drain herself trying to tease out all the individual strands before attempting to make the final jump to the lightning state. Sasuke had spent next to no time molding his chakra for the technique. The chakra shape didn’t make the lightning, the lightning made the chakra shape. She had switched it up! Kakashi might have been trying to make the process easier for her to follow, but he had really just gotten her twisted around.

Not nice, Sakura scolded herself mentally, he taught you the basics when Sasuke wouldn’t. Now you just need to apply what you’ve learned from the both of them.

Once Sakura had loosened the reins on her chakra just enough for it to lose its defined edge, she closed her eyes and focused deep within herself. Sasuke had said the chidori was like an impulse. What if it was also like an electrical impulse from a nerve?

Deep in her meditative state, Sakura focused on the nerve that ran parallel to the chakra channels in her arm. She wasn’t sure how to create an action potential with her chakra like nerves used to transmit impulses, but she didn’t have to. While it was true she had only ever repaired nerves so far, with enough focus, she was certain she could use the next impulse to trigger the transformation.

No one could ever say that she lacked focus.

There! Sakura’s eyes flashed open as she forced the impulse to leak into her chakra pathway. Observing the change in her own chakra was infinitely easier. From this vantage, Sakura could see the moment her own green chakra mixed with the familiar blue lightning that Sasuke often wielded. As her chakra changed color it also changed shape, frizzing out with the electrical energy enough to look like the dendrite Sakura was modeling her technique after.

For one instant, for one wonderful instant, Sakura held the power of a storm in one hand. Wanting to share this moment, she looked up from her newfound power, searching for Sasuke’s eyes.

She never found them, though. One second Sakura was marveling at the vivid blue that marked her success and the next she was admiring the pale blue of the sky. The color change was slight enough she almost didn’t register what had happened. A familiar pain in her ass and back soon filled her in, though.

Sasuke was there as she painfully pushed herself up, offering a hand. She took it, and the world swirled as she was pulled onto her feet again.

“I’m fine,” Sakura insisted before Sasuke could say anything. It would be more convincing if it didn’t come out as a wheeze. “Really, Sasuke, I’m so close! It was lightning! My chakra was lightning and it was in my hand and I am so fucking close.” She was pacing again; she didn’t know when she started pacing again. “Did you see anything? Do you know what I did wrong?”

There was silence for a moment. Sasuke seemed to be considering her--weighing the odds of her actually being okay against the odds of her stopping even if she wasn’t. After a minute, he closed his eyes and sighed. His shoulders actually drooped with the motion. When he opened them again, he said,“I said lightning wasn’t controlled. I never said you shouldn’t try to control it once it’s formed.”

The advice was so nearly contradictory, Sakura’s head hurt a little trying to follow the logic. Sensing this, Sasuke waited until Sakura nodded to show that she understood.

“Now try it again.”

Even though Sakura had just pulled herself up off the ground from yet another failed chidori attempt, her lips pulled up into a smile that was more teeth than anything else. This was exactly why she had asked Sasuke to train her. Tired as she was, something like excitement coursed through her as she dropped into her stance.

With Sasuke’s help, she was going to figure this damned thing out.

--x--

“Do you really need the full power of the chidori?” Sasuke asked after Sakura had been shocked off her feet a third time.

The question didn’t reach her immediately through the hazy fog that enveloped her thoughts. Her teeth ached in her jaw from clenching so hard, and when she rolled over to get up, something thicker than spit dribbled out of her mouth.

Blood. Great. She must have bitten her tongue pretty good, then. The blood itself didn’t concern her, but the strength behind the shock that caused it did, a little. Was everything still wired correctly? Only one way to tell.

Moving slowly, both because everything hurt and because she wanted to make sure her appendages were connected to their appropriate nerves, Sakura pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her arms were shaky. Actually, her everything was shaky, so she pulled her legs in so she could sit cross-legged. Good on two fronts: she knew her legs both worked, and now she felt more stable sitting up.

“Hn.” Sasuke reached out and gently grabbed her left hand, using it to slowly rotate her arm so he could observe the extent of her injuries. Sakura jumped slightly at his touch; she had been so focused on getting upright that she hadn’t noticed that Sasuke had crouched down to her level.

The urge to swat him away--to tell him she was fine and stand up--was strong. The biggest reason she’d asked Sasuke to teach her was that she thought he wouldn’t baby her! Which he hadn’t been until now. For Kami’s sake, she was the medic here--she would know if her arm was in serious danger. It didn’t hurt at all, but Sasuke was sure scowling heavily at something. Putting her anger aside for the moment, Sakura followed his gaze to see what he was so worked up about.

And promptly did a double take.

A decorative rash had sprung up on her skin. That was the best way to describe it, really. Red and raised skin--the kind that occured after bumping into a hard corner--twined its way up from her wrist to just past her elbow. It was--pretty. It looked like fern leaves had wrapped themselves around her arm. All swirling and delicate and beautiful. There was a thicker “branch” of the fern that started at the base of her wrist and snaked up her forearm that all the other ferns seemed to connect to. Like the thicker spine of a feather with all the little barbs acting as feathers in their own right. A fractal. Sakura had a fractal on her arm.

It didn’t hurt. Actually, if Sasuke hadn’t been scowling at it like it had eaten his last tomato, Sakura wasn’t sure how long it would have taken her to notice it. The electrical discharge had probably caused the fine capillaries under her skin to rupture. While it would probably blister later, it wasn’t serious. She was fine. It didn’t hurt.

Sakura repeated this to Sasuke. He spared her a glance to acknowledge that she had spoken, but quickly turned his attention back to her impromptu tattoo. The hand that wasn’t holding hers came to hover over the thickest part of the fern. Stunned by Sasuke’s gentle attention, Sakura remained still and silent, curious as to what he would do next. A scowl still shadowed his expression; he either at war with himself or overly concerned with her “injury.” Just as Sakura was about to reiterate that she was fine, his pointer finger lowered to the point that he was actually touching her and began to trace the feathered pattern on her skin.

And while describing the moment as “electrifying” had somewhat lost its appeal somewhere in the last couple of seconds, damn. Did the sentiment remain. The hair on her arms stood straight up, and although Sakura wasn’t sure if that was because she’d just been on the receiving end of her own chidori or because Sasuke was touching her arm, she could be fairly confident that they weren’t coming down anytime soon.

“It doesn’t hurt?” Sasuke repeated. His voice was quiet enough to be a whisper, but it had none of the trademark airy or high-pitched characteristics of a one. It was low and husky--a rumble. His finger continued to trace the fractal on her skin

“No,” Sakura whispered back, more than a little dazed. Her eyes followed the continued movements of Sasuke’s finger. “I’m fine.”

The finger she had been watching finally came to a stop just on the inside of her elbow. The elbow, her brain reminded her helpfully, could be classified as an erogenous zone. She wondered if Sasuke knew that. Did he know what he was doing to her?

She had half a mind to ask, actually, since one part of her mind was screaming that Sasuke was still touching her and the other part was adding that Sasuke was touching an erogenous zone! When Sakura looked up to ask--that? Something else?--and found herself pinned under Sasuke’s intense gaze.

Shinobi communications were often minimal by necessity. Entire sentences conveyed in the barest of nods or flicker of the eyes. When silence and flawless coordination were the cornerstones of survival, it had to be. They were also usually quick. Efficient.

This--wasn’t. It was more similar to the extended staredown between two combatants on a battlefield. He had been studying her, but now they were studying each other. Sizing each other up. Trying to sense the other’s motives without giving themselves away. All Sakura’s senses were on high alert, muscles tensed to spring, but whether she was going to spring towards Sasuke or away from him, she didn’t know.

Which was ridiculous, really. Time and time again, Sakura had proven that when the chips were down, she would be backing Sasuke. Even knowing that her own heart had been battered and bruised almost as much as her body as the war concluded, Sakura was equally aware that this time could be no different. It had taken everything in her to stand against him once, and that was only because the safety of others was at stake. The possibility of her emotional state taking a couple more hits in no way justified her doing it again. She wouldn’t.

She loved him.

It was, as always, a bittersweet revelation. The rush of fondness she felt for the man in front of her might threaten to burst through the walls of her heart, but it didn’t overwhelm the accompanying prick of pain. While far more subtle that the powerful force pounding against her ribcage, the echoes of loneliness, fear, and loss remained. After all, some of Sakura’s lowest moments had come about because of her love for Sasuke.

Not that she was alone in that. The more cherished a thing was, the more it hurt when it was tarnished or broken or lost. The Uchiha’s response to that had been to guard and isolate their hearts. Without cherished things, what pain could there be? It made a theoretical kind of sense, but Sakura hadn’t lasted a week in the same attempt. She felt miserable and sad and overwhelmed--all of the things that she had been avoiding her feelings for. Without cherished things, what kind of life would there be?

That’s what Sakura had to keep reminding herself. The highs and lows were always intertwined. Much like yin and yang. The low didn’t negate the high, it enhanced it. So when Sakura’s heart panged, she let it. But she also released the the breath that had been holding since the moment Sasuke’s eyes had met hers, let the tension drain from her muscles, and closed her eyes. She loved him.

And she would endure and enjoy whatever else stemmed from that in equal measure.

As entwined as they were, Sakura felt it when Sasuke’s stance lost some of its rigidity--as if Sakura’s revelation had somehow healed Sasuke in turn. His matching exhale was close enough that she felt its warmth land on her cheek. Something that sounded suspiciously like her name floated towards her with it. With her eyes closed though, it was impossible to tell if Sasuke’s lips had actually formed the syllables or if she had imagined it.

Not that it truly mattered, because Sasuke’s hand was moving again, and there was definitely no imagining the affection in his touch. She wondered if he realized it. Wondered if he knew his hand was trailing fire up her arm and across her collarbone. Wondered where he was going--what his plan was? There was a good chance he didn’t have one, but that was okay. Right now, all Sakura really knew was that she didn’t dare move. It was just like their moment in the medic hub. The second one of them spoke, or moved too quickly, this moment would burst.

And she really, really wanted it to last.

But if moments were one thing, they weren’t lasting.

Just as Sasuke was about to cup her cheek in his hand--or so it seemed--his confidence either wavered or his attention sharpened. Either way, Sakura felt the brush of his fingertips against her ear as he closed his hand into a fist--and pulled away.

Once Sasuke and his hand had disentangled themselves from her, had moved back into neutral territory, they both exhaled, hard. Hard enough to confirm Sakura’s earlier conclusions: neither one had been unaffected.

“Right,” Sasuke said, mostly to himself. “Right. I have one more idea we can try.”

The scream of frustration that threatened to tear its way out of her was only just smothered with a rather hard swallow. She swallowed again, just to make sure it wouldn’t jump out the moment she opened her mouth.

“Right,” Sakura made herself respond. Was she supposed to ignore what had just happened? That seemed to be what Sasuke wanted. Not, she supposed, that it really surprised her. Emotional revelations never really sat well with him--especially not immediately after the fact. Would she gain anything by forcing him to acknowledge it? Sakura chewed her lip as she thought it over. Then sighed. Now wasn’t the time.

“Help me up, and then we can try this idea of yours.” Sakura held out the hand that wasn’t covered in red patterns.

He hesitated, looking at her extended hand as if it was some sort of trap. Like it was possible that the moment Sasuke touched her skin, they both would be sucked back into whatever trance they had just broken out of. Despite his obvious reluctance, Sakura kept her hand extended. They couldn’t run away from each other now.

Whether Sasuke reached the same conclusion or a parallel one, he paused for only a second longer before his hand was wrapping around hers and hauling her to her feet. Sakura half expected him to drop her hand the moment she was vertical, but his touch lingered, seemingly unwilling to let go until he knew she was stable.

It was a small thing, but Sakura couldn’t stop her lips from curving up into a pleased smile that stayed in place even as Sasuke stepped back and out of her space into his own.

“You’re struggling with too much energy in the chidori, but once it’s lightning you’re struggling to control it because you’re not a lightning user,” Sasuke told her, tone even and professional, “Especially when there’s so much energy stored up in it.”

Control was something Sakura had never struggled with, and the suggestion that could be the problem rankled her enough to wipe the smile from her lips.

“So, if my chakra nature was lightning, I would have a working chidori defibrillator,” Sakura summarized, trying to emulate his detached tone. The seed of ever-present bitterness in her stomach shifted, and Sakura had to clench her hands to her sides. No matter how hard she worked, there was always some giant barrier. Not enough chakra, not the right chakra nature...it got old.

“If you had a lightning as a chakra nature, you would have this technique down.” Sasuke had emphasized the “you” in that statement as if it meant something, but Sakura didn’t follow. Reading the furrow between her eyebrows correctly, Sasuke added, “Not everyone with lightning chakra nature would have this technique by now.”

Oh. A rectangles and squares conundrum. All lightning chakra users with her chakra control could perform the chidori easily, but not all lightning chakra users had her chakra control. It was an old consolation--one both Kakashi and Tsunade had drawn on when she was feeling down. Over the years it had lost some of its potency, but coming from Sasuke it felt full strength. Sakura’s fists loosened.

“Then, to beat the chakra nature system, I need to limit the amount of chakra I give the impulse to work with?” Sasuke nodded, but Sakura was skeptical. After all this trouble, that was it? The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it down. There was no reason to go looking for problems where there were none. “Alright, let’s try it.”

“Start with enough chakra to cover your hand, but nothing more,” Sasuke cautioned as she took her stance. If this went wrong, there was nothing he could do about it--as had been evidenced by the last three times she had ended up on the ground. “Smaller quantities of lightning might be easier to control.”

While Sakura very much doubted that--nothing else this far had been easy--she refused to voice her concern. Instead she gathered enough chakra so that her hand was covered in what looked like a transparent, green glove. The transition from chakra to lightning came much easier, which just showed that her last three failures hadn’t been for nothing. After the barest of nudges to one of the nerves in her wrist, sparking, blue electricity took the place of her chakra. This would be exciting if Sakura didn’t now know that the true struggle was in maintaining the chakra.

So, with gritted teeth, she waited. Just beyond her outstretched hand, Sasuke looked equally tense--muscles taut and ready to spring at any notice. Spring to do what, well, she wasn’t sure either of them knew. The crackling of Sakura’s very own chidori filled the air around them, adding its own version of a soundtrack to their tense countdown.

After a full minute had passed, Sakura allowed herself to take a deep breath. Nothing changed. Hesitantly, Sakura removed her left hand from her right wrist. Still nothing changed. Gaining more confidence now, she began to move her charged hand from side to side--testing her control of it. It didn’t waver.

It’s working. It’s working. Oh kami, it’s actually working!

Much like the last time she’d gotten this far, Sakura searched for Sasuke’s eyes. She wanted to see his confirmation--to know that the fantasy she was currently experiencing was actually reality.

They said a Uchiha’s eyes carried nothing but illusions and deceit. Don’t look him in the eyes, if you look him in they eyes, you’re done for. Despite having been on the receiving end of such an illusion, Sakura couldn’t disagree more. Sasuke’s eyes had never lied to her. Not once. His posture had. His words had. But his eyes? Never.

Above the flickering blue of her chidori (her chidori!), Sakura finally found the charcoal gaze she was looking for. His eyes met hers, pure and honest if not always good, and Sakura knew.

She had done it.

Giddy with success, Sakura channeled more energy into her outstretched hand. Beyond her fingertips, she could see Sasuke tense, but he needn’t have worried. The radius of lightning sphere increased, but her control didn’t. Just as he had suspected.

The sound of chirping birds increased as Sakura poured chakra into her new technique. It was a sound that had filled her nightmares since that fateful day on top of the hospital roof, but she wasn’t afraid now. This time she was in control. The smile the thought triggered was as thin and sharp as the sense of satisfaction that accompanied it. This was her chidori.

Sakura flexed her fingers and delighted in watching the lightning twine around them. It didn’t hurt like she thought it would. Ino had dared her to lick a battery once when she was younger, and this felt much like that. Transitioning her chakra to lightning was a bit of a, well, shock, but now her hand just tingled as her tongue had once. A fuzzy sort of hum that reverberated through every bit of flesh her chidori contacted.

In her peripherals, one of the wooden dummies that Sasuke had painstakingly set up shifted in the breeze. The movement drew her attention, and the crackling at her wrist informed her of what to do next.

Sakura had told Sasuke that she had zero desire to utilize her chidori as a weapon, and she hadn’t been lying. Yet there was something about the branchy targets swaying in the wind and the electricity thrumming through her urged her to pull her elbow back as if she were drawing bow. The chidori was close enough to her face that she could feel it buzzing in her teeth, but she didn’t leave it there for long before she darted towards the target and thrust her hand through its chest.

Twigs and leaves exploded from the confines of the human shape they had been woven into, stinging Sakura’s skin as they smacked against her. The small pricks of discomfort did nothing to smother the triumph that rocketed through her, though, and she through her fist in the air with a triumphant, “Shannaro!”

When she turned around, she found Sasuke was busy picking twigs out of his hair. Seeing that Sakura was watching him, he gave his hair a final shake before straightening.

“Hn,” he said with the slightest quirk of his eyebrow, “I think you’re ready to show the medics.”

--x--

Sakura did not tackle Shizune in a triumphant hug when she and Sasuke located her after returning from their corner of the forest. She was a medical professional, after all. Furthermore, as head medical professional she was still expected to act with some level of decorum in public. Had Shizune not been cradling a hot cup of tea in her hands like it was her only lifeline, however, Sakura might have thrown all of that to the wind.

What she did do was dash past the tent flaps and extra chairs before screeching to a halt directly before Tsunade’s first disciple. Clasping her hands out of sight behind her back, she leaned in even closer, close enough that the steam from the tea warmed her chin, and fixed Shizune with an impish expression. Sasuke followed quietly in her wake, choosing to stand out of the way by the wedge of the tent. He could have abandoned her now that she had mastered the technique, but he had opted to stay thus far. For that, Sakura was thankful.

Without so much as flinching at the pink-haired woman’s sudden appearance or her brooding shadow, Shizune took a long drag of her tea while maintaining eye contact. When she finally pulled the disposable cup from her lips, she asked, “You’re not about to hand me a lizard, are you?”

“Hand you a--what?” Sakura reeled at the odd question before it clicked. She scowled, resisting the urge to roll her eyes or stamp her foot. “No! That was one time! And only because I’d successfully guided it to regrow its--nevermind. Forget it. Off topic.” She had triggered a dormant gene that allowed a lizard to regrow its backs legs and tail--which was kind of a big deal for a thirteen year old to have that kind of chakra control, thankyouverymuch--but that wasn’t important right now.

“Look what I can do!” Sakura announced instead, bringing her hands out from behind her back.

The left hand dropped to her side, but when she brought her right hand up to hover by her ear, it was encased in a thin layer of light blue lightning. She wiggled her fingers at a wide eyed Shizune. The static radiating from her hand made her hair start to do funny things, so she lowered the amount of chakra she was using until only the pad of her pointer finger was still spitting blue sparks.

“And you have complete control?” Shizune asked, eyes still glued to Sakura’s finger.

Instead of replying, Sakura rolled the blue bulb of electricity across the tips of her fingers like a street artist might roll a coin. Once the shrunken chidori had traveled from her pointer finger to her pinky and back, Sakura pulled her fingers into a loose fist with the exception of her pointer finger. Understandably, Shizune’s eyes quickly focused on the oddly glowing finger. Working off an impulse, Sakura brought her pointer finger closer and close to Shizune’s face until the elder medic’s eyes crossed trying to track it. With a lighthearted giggle, Sakura tapped Shizune’s nose playfully, making sure to fully extinguish the chidori before making contact.

Her point made, Sakura once again clasped her hands behind her back. There was a silly grin on her face, she knew it, but she didn’t bother trying to smooth her expression. A lot of work had gone into learning this technique. She had every right to be proud! True, there was still a lot of work to do before her plan was completely realized, but Sakura felt lighter than she had in days.

“Complete control indeed,” Shizune muttered. While her eyes were focused on Sakura, her attention was not. “Will all our medics be able to use this, or just our lightning users?”

“Every medic should be able to perform this jutsu,” Sakura stated confidently. “We don’t even have to take time to teach our lightning users to use the full chidori.”

Shizune’s eyes widened before they narrowed, clearly unconvinced. Sakura knew it seemed confusing. Only hours ago, Sakura had been dead set on teaching a medical version of the chidori to at least their lightning users. Before Sakura could explain her reasoning, however, Shizune’s mouth rounded in a silent “oh” of comprehension.

“You don’t have to teach them the full chidori,” she repeated, “meaning you’ve discovered a shorthand.”

“Exactly!” Sakura chirped. She resisted bouncing on the balls of her feet like a child, but felt tremors wrack her body as her excitement was redirected. No matter. She didn’t need steady hands right now, just a partner. And, luckily, hers hadn’t retreated for his room with Naruto quite yet. With a large grin on her face, Sakura glanced over at Sasuke, “Shall we give a demonstration?”

Sasuke’s lips pursed as he studied her, obviously skeptical. Alright, so the giddy shivers probably weren’t doing the best job at instilling confidence that she could pull off another demonstration. Even Kakashi could only pull a couple of chidoris in a row on a good day. She was at, what, two self-generated chidori right now? Two successful ones, anyway? Sasuke could very well be right, but she really wanted to show Shizune how this worked! Sakura took a deep breath and clasped her hands in front of her both to hide the persistent shaking and to assist in giving him the best puppy-dog look her dignity would allow.

“C’mon Sasuke-kun,” she coaxed him, “I won’t even have to use any chakra to generate the chidori, I’ll just have to catch it from you.”

The honorific caught him off-guard enough that his face shifted from a suspicious-neutral to flummoxed neutral. Not that Sakura blamed him. The endearment had caught her off-guard, too. But hopefully she had added just enough logic to convince him.

Sasuke gave a very Shikamaru-like sigh, but the corners of his eyes crinkled as he uncrossed his arms and summoned lightning to his hand. Shizune flinched at the suddenness of the jutsu, and, despite the fact that Sakura had been training with Sasuke for the better part of the day, she had to agree. It was only after she had successfully demonstrated the chidori that Sasuke began using his short-cut method.

Nodding, Sakura resumed her stance once more. In a movement that was almost habit, Sakura grabbed her right wrist with her left hand and began to channel her chakra there. It took a couple of seconds longer than normal, but in the end her chakra had gathered around her fist like an a small halo. Taking a deep breath, Sakura forced herself to loosen her control enough that the edges of her chakra turned hazy. All she had to do was empty her mind and be ready to receive the impulse from Sasuke.

“Okay, Sasuke, I think this is as ready as I’m going to be,” Sakura said, her previous giddiness gone. She was struggling to keep her voice steady. Maybe Sasuke had been right to doubt her. She already felt like she was reaching her limit, which was really not a great sign. She’d only be training for two hours now--maybe three?

Thankfully, Sasuke didn’t hesitate. He might have gone out of his way to use a long-hand method of the chidori he had since outgrown for her, but he didn’t dawdle and ask if she was sure. Didn’t ask if she was okay because she seemed to be struggling. He just frowned at her slightly before nodding and adding a bit more power to his chidori.

The chidoris that Sakura summoned were almost perfectly spherical as a testament to her perfect chakra control. The lightning that surrounded Sasuke’s hand, in contrast, was only vaguely ovoid in shape. Long tendrils of electricity were constantly lashing out from and retreating to the ovoid--like a bundle of sentient whips. As his wild looking chidori grew in size, Sasuke stepped as close as he dared towards Sakura before also extending his hand in her direction. Sakura let go of her wrist, breathing hard and extended her hand him as well. For a moment, they mirrored eachother like that. Standing on opposite sides of an invisible line they had created for themselves, reaching out to one another. A moment standing still in time.

Then one of Sasuke’s lightning hit one of her hazy sphere of chakra.

Bright blue--no, electric blue lightning arced around Sakura’s fist as naturally as if she had summoned it there herself. And for that second the picture was completed, two shinobi with lightning in their palms. Then, as slowly as Sakura had approached him in the clearing, Sasuke lowered his own fist. When it was finally at his side, Sasuke took a step back from her and let his chakra slip away, his source of lightning also evaporating.

But Sakura’s source remained.

And, just to prove she could, Sakura shrunk the chidori to only her pointer finger as she had earlier. She followed this by pinching the tips of all her fingers together, and, when she separating them, each one was lit was its own blue ball of energy.

“This could work,” Shizune said as Sakura extinguished her chidori.

Tears suddenly welled in the corner of her eyes, blurring her vision. Sakura choked out a sound that was half a laugh and half a sob as she tried to wipe away the sudden deluge. It wasn’t as if Shizune’s statement was news to her. For goodness sake, Sakura had come to tell Shizune that her her plan would work. But hearing her conclusion repeated by another medic--one that she trusted and respected--was such a relief that she could hardly stand it.

Every thing she had done for the last three days had lead up to this moment.

But she hadn’t been alone in her efforts.

Sakura turned to Sasuke, the emotion that brought tears to her eyes threatening to close her throat as well. Tears still trickled from her eyes lethargically, but she made no move to wipe them away anymore, opting to smile through them instead. The blurriness they caused didn’t matter so much when her vision was tunneled in on Sasuke anyway. She felt trembly, like there were too many things she wanted to say bouncing around inside her all at once. She wanted to launch herself into his arms and squeeze him or twirl him around or--or something. She needed to lay her head on his chest and let his heartbeat bring her back down to earth. She needed to know that he was real--that this was real.

Although she didn’t remember making the conscious decision to move, her feet were suddenly propelling her forwards. Somehow she managed to trip on the leg of a chair or something, because there was a jolt of fear in her stomach, that sickly sensation of falling before strong arms and a masculine scent wrapped around her.

Konoha pine and smoke. Sasuke.

She let her suddenly heavy eyelids flutter shut and ignored the panicked voices that rose around her in favor of the steady beat drumming under her cheekbone. Just as she had imagined.

“We did it,” Sakura murmured tiredly, allowing the constant rhythm of Sasuke’s heart to soothe her as the world went black.

Well, six months is better than two years, I suppose. There are still some pieces of this chapter that don’t flow as nicely as I would like, but, 8000+ words later here we are. I’m sure I’ll be back to edit this (let me know if something doesn’t make sense), but for now I just needed to push this out of my google drive.

And Happy SasuSakuMonth!

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