#chippystatement

[chippypiper]

i play this game mostly to just dress voryn up and look at him walk around

heres some marriages

heres very Filipino voryn talking to wulfharth about ryan gosling or something

heres voryn trying to not do his job

heres a

[chippypiper]

My interpretation of Ayem is that shes a sensitive, damaged and a very insecure person. I think part of it is inherent to her personality, she was born kind and intelligent, yet very sensitive to outside pressures. The way she fears the abandonment of her people, her desperation for validation, love and control makes me think she might really hate herself.

Explanation for this could easily be her upbringing and experiences in life. Just like voryn in my interpretations, she had been put under impossible expectations since she was born and always had a lack of freedom to choose. However, unlike voryn, she couldnt really adapt to this life, (i also believe her parents abuse mightve been more literal and violent... ) she would be impulsive and couldnt always meet the standart, making her feel like shes an unlovable failure. Ayem really took everything her parents taught her to heart and even after hundreds of years she still practices the same methods, she still prioritizes image above all else, but since you cant predict how others see you, and no amount of outside love can make you love yourself, it inevitably brings her to ruin. Her insanity did not come in an instant the moment Lorkhan's heart disappeared, it was gradual buildup over millennia. She always cared about morrowind, but insecurity twisted that care.

I think she craves control also because shes constantly being deprived of it, despite being a queen, a lot of things were done for her (which she thought is because of her incompetence). Nerevar made this even worse, as he took over being the King of morrowind and reduced Ayem to only his wife. I believe Ayem agreed to this marriage because of how it would improve her image (only natural to want to marry a famous hero) and did not anticipate how it would push her to the side.

Regarding how in the game lore it seems that Ayem used to be an entirely different figure before the 3rd era, i think it ties into how she feels she can never be the right figure for her people. When she was mortal, Ayem was a sweet and caring person, but the presence of war dictated that what morrowind needs is someone more cold and strict, a strong headed leader. Ayem would push herself constantly to try and be this for everyone, would fail at it until she can mold herself into it. Unfortunately when she does, her people change to want their caring mother back instead, which infuriates Ayem further.

After i write this, i still dont want you to think she was nothing but miserable or let alone stupid/naive. When it comes to strategy, diplomacy and other matters she was actually a great queen, despite what she thinks. She is also capable of loving and doesnt only have negative relationships, especially with Vehk

[chippypiper]

i tend to include nudity in my art very often and i feel like its stunting my growth because while it usually works for the piece itself (i think?) in a way i keep trying to avoid rendering clothes and designing outfits because i simply really suck

anyways, 3 more naked voryns left to render in my next painting

[chippypiper]

i like my dagoth ur demented in a way that makes me sad like "man he truly did lose himself huh" and it could never get better, he could never change, you cant form relationships with him. The only thing you can do is kill him to put him out of his misery

[chippypiper]

i love the headcanon of "nerevar" not actually being nerevars real name, in fact noone knows his real name or much of his past. He didnt even tell much to voryn and voryn respects those boundaries. Its mostly because nerevar doesnt want to think about it himself anymore due to guilt or for people to feel bad for him, he thinks he already understands all his wrongdoings in life and its best to focus on his more important current goals. I have an idea of him growing up as an orphan in some obscure House Mora town in extreme poverty, often running away from the orphanage to escape abuse only to find worse trouble elsewhere. After azura found him in a vulnerable position she made nerevar promise that hed bring change to the weak resdayn (idk if it was called that before the first council) and save her followers from the Nord occupation, nerevar was easy to control and she was aware of his karmic destiny as a goddess of prophecy (i made an art piece related to it here) Only because of azuras blessing and healing nerevar managed to survive and eventually got out of the town to find a new life. He genuinely made countless improvements to his character just to honor azuras deal and to show gratefulness for her "pity". However at some point as a young mer he fell onto a path of finding a normal uneventful life, a new "family", a "love interest", his personal goals and all. Unfortunately not long after it seemed he has found peace he lost everything to war and a horrific accident. This extremely traumatized nerevar and he thought it as punishment for not honoring his deal he made all those years ago, which made him abandon the idea of normalcy altogether to focus on only becoming stronger, becoming a "hero" and getting the power to save resdayn no matter the cost. And so as a sign of his worldview changing like this and wishing to abandon everything horrible that happened to him he stole the name of one House Mora noble (reference to the sermons),Theres more to this in relation of whether nerevar is a good or bad person, but this post is getting too long so ill yap about it later.

[chippypiper]

to me the peak of nerevoryn feels like a pure kind of love, but not in the sense that its innocent (they can totally lust for each other too) but more so that their love is so genuine, so soft yet passionate, not bound by performance or stereotypes or objectification... they are genuinely two souls intertwined, two people flawed yet trying so hard, selfish and selfless at the same time... the only thing i might be able to compare it to is descriptions of relationships between gay knights in history where the whole focus is their tender relationship and loyalty to another compared to ownership of someone or marriage/children obligation ect

[chippypiper]

scream if you love ayem

[chippypiper]

ayemvehk?