A young man, around 24, was in a hunched position on his bed, an acoustic guitar resting comfortably in his lap.
With the gentle flicks of his fingertips along worn out guitar strings he sang a sweet, but melancholic melody that weaved around the violent sound of heavy rainfall. His back was pressed to the creaking headboard that just barely held onto its frame as his fingers, skilled, danced across bronze threads. The crash of water against his bedroom window did not hinder him as a flash of lightning briefly lit up the pitch black bedroom.
On the cold floor lay his younger sister, who had a folded jacket cushioning her head as she faced the window in a way that had her looking upside down at the sky, the twinkle in her eyes rivalling the second flash of lightning that decided to crack across the grey canvas of angry clouds. Her lips parted as her brother struck a chord, voice quiet as she sang the words to the lullaby that played over the frenzied weather.
"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping." She reached out towards the barely flickering stars that were held in the raging night sky as her brother delicately stroked the strings of his guitar, his lips twitching as he craned his neck to see where his fingers were curling and reaching.
"I dreamed I held you in my arms."
Her voice was just barely above a whisper as she let her hands fall back to her chest, crossed over one another. Despite how quiet she was singing, it was almost as if the melody flowing from her anxiously bitten lips was amplified tenfold, and the roar of thunder tried to fight back.
The streetlamps outside barely seeped their light through the window of the bedroom the siblings lay in, and the shadows that were cast seemed ominous as they concealed the fact that the bedroom was near empty, save for the bed her brother was on and the nightstand that stood beside it.
A burnt out lamp shade was left on the chipped table, with an old family portrait that stared down at the girl who curled her hands over her heart. Two parents sat side by side, a stoic father, cradling a young daughter in his arms that couldn't be older than the age of four, and her mother, holding her demure hands over her knees. The brother stood tall at the exciting age of thirteen in between the valley of his parents, and he had copied his father's emotionless face that day.
"When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken." Her voice, a sweet sigh against the prattling raindrops on the cracked window streamed like a peaceful river against the gloom that ruled the evening. The chill had crept in from the outside and sent an uncomfortable shiver through her body as her brother silently reached out to turn the portrait face down.
The young man winced when he dragged his hand along the strings again and struck a broken note due to a misplaced finger, but the sister paid no mind, the note already forgotten as she feigned ignorance to the small mistake.
"So I bowed my head and cried."
It's okay. Discordance happens.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey."
The sister shook her head in silence as she rid herself of the happy memories that came from the picture in the frame and she crossed her arms underneath her head as she stared listlessly at the ceiling that responded with a blank stare in turn.
There was an emptiness that resided in her heart, and slowly, it grew, just as she grew to become a young woman. She felt her brother was the only family she had left, and her to him. This lullaby that she sang for the both of them was the song that their mother used to coax them to sleep when they were children. She used it when they were restless or scared; scared of the things that they thought would take her or their papa away from them.
"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you."
The sound of someone's breath catching made the air in the room fall still, and the brother let his head fall back against the headboard as his fingers swiped across the neck of the guitar. His sister lay in a casual position despite the lump forming in her throat, and her bright eyes shimmered in the dark, catching the moonlight that shone from the clouds as the thunder and lightning quelled, retreating to come visit another day.
The lulling melody slowed as callused fingers tapped against bronze, and heavy eyelids began to flutter while the rain became a gentle, loving pitter-patter against glass.
Significant memories were lost to time, other than the blurry event of their father disappearing and building a new family somewhere else, and the one night their mother thought they were sleeping and wept until she tired herself out.
She missed how her mother held her when she was still a young child, and with freezing fingers, the girl wrapped her arms around herself as her aching eyelids fluttered to a close. Her brother strummed the last few chords to their lullaby, and with a weak breath, finished the song.
"Please don't take my sunshine away."
Her powerless croak concluded their lonely evening, and the brother set his guitar down beside him to shuffle off the bed, seeing his sister's body relaxing into a despondent slumber. His footsteps were careful, but the floorboards still creaked beneath his weight as he crouched beside her and lifted her into his arms.
Biting tears fell from long eyelashes as he set her down in the spot where he sat previously, and let the residing body heat keep her warm as he found her small childhood blanket on the floor by the bedside table.
He made sure to cover her wiggling toes, and let his coat fall over her shoulders since the blanket alone wasn't enough.
Finally, when he was sure his sister was sleeping comfortably did he take back his guitar, laying himself down at the foot of the bed parallel to the bed frame. His fingers started up again, playing that soft lullaby that was being sung not too long ago, closing his eyes to let the memory of him being lulled to sleep by his mother soothe the ache in his chest.
He hummed along while his fingers slowed on the strings, and eventually his breathing became even. The family of two fell asleep with their hearts temporarily at ease, and the quieting whisper of the lullaby was lost to the splashing of rain.
A sweet whisper of empty promises flowed from the tip of her tongue and spread warmth throughout his body as if the words uttered from her smiling lips was the sun kissing at his skin. The warmth, so gentle, so convincingly genuine, it went down to his fingertips and left a tingling sensation. It was a sensation that made his heart rumble with contentment, but his head understood that this emotion he felt welling in his chest was a lie, and his thoughts were screaming at him to let her go and never look back.
For some reason that he did not know, he felt that if he let her slip through his fingers, some part of him would not be whole again. He feared that, after all this time of letting himself believe her lies, he would miss those stinging, bittersweet words that always flitted from her mouth. The curve of her bow, her lip, when she smiled at him with those twinkling eyes that made his hands shake ― he would miss that expression. The way her hands would smooth over his shoulders and use that soft voice of hers to help release the tension that always managed to build itself inside his body; he didn’t know how he would fare if he could not feel that again.
He had lost an extraordinary love before, due to his reckless decisions and selfish need to protect her from the things he did not want her to see. That woman from before who was there for him ever since their high school days was like an angel sent from above. He was a feared student in high school, a delinquent that no one should get close to if they wanted to live a life of peace. An upperclassmen of hers by one year, she would send him small bandages or gifts through a friend they called Minor, and when she was brave enough to face him on her own, they became inseparable.
Her smiles were always full of adoration for him, and whenever he caught her staring at him he would notice the way her eyes sparkled no matter how dim the lights would be in their location. Whenever he managed to make her laugh she would push him away or give a playful punch to his chest to hide the burning heat that rose to her cheeks, but he was always way too quick for her and would capture her wrists in his large palms and pull her into a tight embrace that had her shouting in surprise. Her honeyed promises would go to him in a whisper and she’d laugh with delight when his ears would go red; flustered. Her light fingertips brushing along his cheekbones as they traced the curves and angles of his face; his heart knew that what she felt towards him was true.
And this happiness he gave her was something he promised to continue giving for the rest of their lives.
But as naive as a new, young adult could be, he had lied to her. He failed to fulfill a promise that he was going to stay true to for the years to come, and the glistening tears that streamed down her face that day continues to send a terrible ache to his chest. The same day that those tears were shed, he was planning on giving his heart and baring himself whole to her. He felt that he was ready, after so many years of contemplating whether he should just swallow the fear of potential rejection and instead grab that small feather of hope that said she would embrace him with open arms.
She beat him to it before he could open his mouth and let the confession fall from his lips.
“Why won’t you open up to me?” She whimpered helplessly with a hand clutched over her heart. She trembled as she stood in front of him that day, a river of liquid crystals streaming down her face. The pained expression showed him that the promise of happiness he made had shattered, and it wasn’t going to be the same again even if he managed to take the time and mend this future back together piece by piece.
“Why won’t you show me another side of you when I have already shown you all of mine?”
Back then, he didn’t have an answer. He was withdrawn back in high school, with a shield that protected him from everyone else at school and at home. He thought he had let this girl come and join him behind this shield, but to her it looked like there was one more wall that separated him from her. A wall so high and indestructible that even if she had all the capable tools to help her get through to him, she’d only make a dent if she tried hard enough.
If only she asked him now, when he was more grown and understood himself better would he have given her an answer that would’ve hopefully kept her within arms reach.
He grew up mostly an ignored child; with an absent father, a busy mother, and estranged brothers. His mother used to coddle him when he was still small, but as conflicts between family members grew bigger and much more violent, no one had the time to look after him. The middle brother was his mother’s favourite, and the eldest was supposed to be the breadwinner or the man of the house.
He did not know what to expect when all hell broke loose in this family of four, but he knew that this strange word people called love did not exist in this family bundle. His mother stopped looking after him and tended to his middle brother much more. She would scold him for always making a mess or not doing his chores; she would swear under her breath whenever she had to care for the wounds that he had gained from scraps that he didn’t start.
This mother that gave him subtle looks that showed him that she did not love him as she used to; ignored and salted the wounds of his vulnerability that he thought he could show her. When he saw the warmth leave her eyes when she looked at him, he knew that he would have to take care of himself from now on.
He hid away the heart that he used to wear on his sleeve and locked it in a safe, burned off the code that would open it.
This vulnerability that he used to show his family could not be exposed to the girl that he wanted to have a forever with, and so he closed off those parts of him that she wanted to so desperately see. The only time he showed the smallest bit of vulnerability was whenever he visited her home, in need of help to aid the bleeding wounds and cuts that littered his scarred body. She would ask why, why he was in such a state, but he would always answer with a gruff hum and a shake of his head, gritting his teeth together as she cleaned the blood from his dirty skin with alcohol and ointment.
She was fed up with investing all of her emotions in him only to receive nothing in return other than the stoic expressions and half-hearted laughs he gave. She left him; understandably so.
When she escaped from his fingers, she took away the sweet words she had uttered to him in confidence and the feather light touches that used to graze upon his cheeks. She took with her the smiles that made his heart rattle against his chest and that calming scent of hers that with a mix between lavender and cherry blossoms, a smell that she used to leave on his pillowcase. She left with a piece of him still clinging onto her and decided not to give it back.
He so missed her and the loving words she whispered to him every night that he took immediately in another woman who very much did the same thing, but fed him honeyed lies that made his heart quiver in uncertainty. He was terrified of living a life without hearing those comforting words of promises and love that he even took in the ones that he knew were not real, and this woman in his present proved it when she used those fingers of hers so roughly on his skin that he no longer felt the love of an infatuated woman, but the thirst of a beast.
He would give and take anything as long as this woman didn’t stop telling him the words that he wished he had said to that girl.
But his heart and his mind told him that this was not the correct way to live a life that should be cherished. A life that he worked so hard to continue living despite all of the things that tried to squash him down and make him break and run to the deep end of an endless pool of darkness. This life that he had the power to end did not want to go, and if he wanted something to change now he would have to take the first step to make this life worth living.
“How do you love someone?” He asked this woman that had been stuck to him ever since that girl left. They were together in the dark living room with the light from the television illuminating their bodies when he mumbled this question, and the woman only laughed and affectionately rubbed her fingers against his jaw while she rested her legs over his lap. Her eyes were half-lidded as she simpered at the man that she had been indulging herself with.
“Why the question?” She cooed causing the man to put on a smile. “You love me just fine, that’s for sure.”
He pulled away from her wandering hands with an ill-humored chuckle and pushed her legs from his lap to create some distance between them both. The expression he wore had a hint of darkness to it when the woman tried to get close again, but he used his palms to hold her back by her shoulders, the smile that used to be playing on his lips replaced with a frown.
“A long time ago, there was this girl I had feelings for.” He murmured when the woman on his couch finally backed off and sat at the opposite end, her arms crossed over her chest with her frown matching his.
“She ended whatever we had right when I finally built up the courage to give her my heart,” His voice was getting quieter as he spoke, and his eyes became misty when he stared blankly at the television that was playing a show he did not know. “And she asked me why I only showed her one side of me; never opened up.”
The woman who was listening pursed her lips and sagged against the arm of the couch with a breath escaping her nostrils. She liked this man enough to help him with whatever he was going through right now, but after that, she planned on leaving. Just like him, underneath the sultry voice and smile hid a fear of showing vulnerability. She was hurt in the past one too many times and decided that enough was enough. Emotions or feelings, they were not for her if they only meant pain and suffering. She did not need to go through this again.
“You were protecting yourself from her.” She spoke up and the man quickly turned his head to look at her; he wasn’t expecting an answer. His bright, amber eyes lit up due to the television screen still on, and the woman told herself not to find it endearing. She took her coat that was hanging on the back of the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders as the room suddenly became chilly, and her heart quivered.
“Something probably happened in the past and you closed yourself off because of that,” Her shoulders shrugged. “Maybe you thought that if you showed her that side of you that you wanted to hide, she would’ve left.”
“But she left anyways because you didn’t take that risk earlier and didn’t trust her enough to see past that vulnerability. You didn’t want to love her in the first place because you were scared she wasn’t going to love you back just as much, right?”
The man grimaced and scratched the back of his neck.
“What happened in the past should not define who you are now, nor should it make decisions for you. Maybe you need some time to realise that before you go and mess up again.” She preached, but never practiced. Her words were oddly sincere though, and the man’s stomach fluttered with appreciation as he wrung his fingers in his lap, his head trying to process the information she was feeding him.
“I’m leaving now.” She announced when the silence between them grew and shrugged on her coat, her eyes downcast as she awkwardly grabbed her phone and bag next. She felt a little uneasy with the thought of taking one last glance at this man she had been hanging off of for a while, but she knew that if she took one more look she would fall into this pit of want again. She wasn’t the type of person he needed in his life, but as long as she could help him somehow regain what he had lost, she decided that she didn’t have to stay any longer.
She couldn’t.
“Thank you.” The man sighed as the click of the door sounded, and again, he was surrounded by silence and the static noise of loneliness. He thought bitterly to himself that he hated this feeling, and his heart ached for someone to soothe the pain that bloomed back into full effect. He held his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees, a headache making his temples pulse.
Falling back into being alone was terrifying and the man almost always had someone around to keep him from doubting himself, but the underlying fear of having someone leave was always at the back of his head. How was he supposed to deal with not having anyone around? Would he have to give up in this life and live in seclusion; understand that maybe he wasn’t meant to have anyone in his life and just hope that when he’s given another chance at a new life he’ll surely be able to have his heart be completed by someone else?
He wanted to see her -- that girl that he had hurt all those years ago and apologise. Explain to her why he was so, so cold and didn’t give her the chance to ever experience the different faces he could show her if only he had learned early on that it wasn’t his fault that his mother stopped loving him. His heart squeezed in anger with himself, but he could not blame anyone else. He had to tell himself that he could not blame himself either because he wasn’t at fault.
There wasn’t anything that could have stopped this path of his life from happening, and he never had the power to change courses.
He wondered what he should do to climb out of this hole he dug himself for years; this hole of self-deprecation, anxiety, and depression. He did not have the luxury of having friends around, Minor had taken the girl’s side that fateful day, but made sure to wish him well and hope that he would be able to come back to them when he was better.
Over and over again, as days passed by in the present, the man had to convince himself that they truly loved him; looked back before they left out of worry that maybe it was a bad idea to distance themselves from this young man who couldn’t see that not only was he hurting them, but that he was hurting himself the most for bottling up these secrets that he held close to his heart and not trusting anyone to know and understand his pain.
He wallowed in his sorrow for a long time, having no idea what to do on how to get better. How was he to let go of those painful memories that shaped him into the person he is now?
And he realised that starting with forgiveness was a good way to start. He told himself before that there was no one to blame, but he had lived for so long resenting the family that he came from and refused to keep in contact. He had no way of finding where his mother would be, let alone his brothers, and so he forgave them silently. He let his heart, albeit reluctant to, slowly go back to loving them for the people they were before. He understood that they were all hurting at that point in time, and even though it affected him in a way that broke him beyond repair, his quivering heart told him that it was time to let go of this hatred and sadness that plagued him.
To forgive them and himself for letting things turn out this way, it would open a door that held a path towards healing.
As expected, it wasn’t easy. It took him months, adding onto the years that he was given a chance to understand himself better. There were still those terribly bad days where his head pounded with relentless pain and his chest ached with loneliness and longing, and all he could do was have some painkillers and take a nap to rid whatever was hurting his body.
He was tired; it showed on his face. There were tear streaks staining his skin and dark circles under his eyes, and the way his shoulders slouched as he walked down the street was enough to make other passersby avoid making eye contact with him.
He was going to see Minor. Thankfully, the man still had the same phone number from high school and when he was asked if they could catch up on lost time, he immediately replied with an excited ‘yes!’. It was almost as if he didn’t lose contact with Minor in the first place, and for the first time in a long while, his heart swelled with something akin to happiness.
“Whoa.” His high school friend leaned back in his chair in surprise when he saw him walk inside the cafe he was waiting at. “Long time no see, but you look awful, Gav.”
Gavin plopped into the seat across from Minor with a disgruntled murmur, his arms a heavy weight against the table that rested between the two as he leaned on it. He nodded to say that he knew and ran a hand over his face while his friend began to rummage a hand through his bag to pull out a pack of wet wipes.
Minor offered the pack to Gavin with a curious smile, but glared at him when Gavin furrowed his eyebrows.
“Your face is disgusting. I can’t talk to you if you look like this.” He pushed the wet wipes into the man’s hand and patiently waited for Gavin to clean himself up while leaning back into his chair again, his arms moving to cross over his chest as he watched his friend grumble and at the same time wipe whatever was left of the tear stains on his face.
Gavin flicked the wet wipe onto the table with disgust while Minor nodded in approval with how much cleaner the man looked and let out a relaxed sigh, his arms parting to shrug as Gavin blinked at him with pursed lips.
“It’s been years since I last saw you.” He lamented; serious all of a sudden. It made Gavin anxious for a brief second until the man across from him broke into a smile and held up his phone with his thumb and index finger. “You almost had me thinking you weren't going to call.”
Gavin ran a hand through his hair. “You expected me to?”
The man across from him smiled and shrugged his shoulders lackadaisical, putting his phone on the table and showing the lockscreen of it was an old photo of him, Gavin, and that girl. Minor squinted at his friend when he noticed.
"Yeah, but I didn't think it was going to take you this long." He scoffed, incredulous as he shook his head while his friend continued to stare at his now black phone screen, slouching in his chair.
"We were waiting for you, you know?" Minor sighed exasperatedly and made sure Gavin was looking at him by tapping the back of his hand with a gentle finger, pocketing his phone to make sure he wasn't distracted anymore.
The mention of ‘we’ caused something in Gavin’s stomach to stir and he squinted his eyes at Minor with uncertainty, arms that were resting on lacquered wood twitching as he leaned forward to help himself read into his friend’s face. Minor had his eyebrows furrowed, but his eyes were smiling along with his lips, and the next thing that came out of his mouth had Gavin’s heart skipping a beat.
“Sunyi was really hoping you’d come around someday.” Minor murmured with a sweet tenderness that made Gavin hold his head in his hands with shame, a weak groan escaping his drooping body as the person across from him watched on with slight amusement, his eyes shining while he smacked a rough hand onto Gavin’s shoulder.
“It seems like you have; somewhat at least.” He shrugged. “I know you called because you needed help and not because you wanted to catch up, but I don’t think I’m the right person to ask.”
“Then who else?” Gavin hissed as Minor read right through him and shrugged off the hand that was on his shoulder with an aggravated grimace, taking a handful of his own hair between his fingers to tug at it in distress, making him look even more dishevelled than he already was. Minor watched on helplessly as his friend miserably threw himself back into his chair, and he loosely folded his hands atop his lap with his own frown.
“Sunyi could help--” Minor suggested, but was quickly shut down by Gavin as he removed his hand from his hair to hold it up to keep the man in front of him from continuing.
“Absolutely not.”
Exasperated, Minor threw his hands in the air while Gavin pointed at him with pursed lips, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.
"You're suggesting I ask for help from her after everything that has happened? Am I not the reason why she left in the first place?" It just didn’t make sense to Gavin how Minor could even think that maybe it was going to be okay if he showed his face to her; showed how terrible he was doing even after she distanced herself away from him to make sure he learned how to grow on his own, but he was still the ominous, hot tempered man he was back in high school.
There was a sad smile on Minor’s face when he saw the pained expression Gavin was wearing, and he sighed gently while patting the table to try and ease the tension that was rising between the two of them. The kind timbre of his voice was used to soothe Gavin as he spoke, and the honest look in his eyes had the man listening to each and every word he was saying.
“You won’t know unless you try. She always had a soft spot for you, Gav, and that hasn’t changed at all.”
And so there he was, standing on the steps of Sunyi’s childhood home. Minor had mentioned that after her parents moved to another house for their retirement, they had put this property under her own name. Despite the colour of the house which confirmed that it was her old home, the flowers in the front yard were different from what her father used to plant, and the seafoam green curtains that hung on the windows now weren’t the same ones he saw back when he was younger. Her mother adored pink curtains.
His heart and mind was racing as he trudged up the familiar stone steps that were vivid in his past memories, and the hand that was holding a small box of sweets was getting sweaty with anxiousness. The cream coloured door that stood in front of him was intimidating, but he braced himself for what was to come in the future and rapped his knuckles on the wood in a rhythm that he didn’t know he remembered.
One.. Two seconds pass. Then three, and then four--
The door swung open, abrupt, while a young woman was standing on the other side of the door frame with an agitated furrow to her brow. The hair she used to grow until her back became a shoulder length bob cut, and there were bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. The sun was bright today and so her eyes were closed. She opened up thinking it was Minor.
“It’s not funny when you knock like that, Min.” She hissed. “You’ve really got some nerve to be joking about Gavin right now.”
Just the sound of her voice made Gavin’s face break into a smile and he absentmindedly scuffed his foot against the doormat he stood on, squeezing onto the box that he held in his hand.
“He always was a mean one, that guy.” He mused.
“I know, ever since highschool--” She sighed in defeat before her eyes snapped open and she squinted against the sunlight to see who was standing before her. Her stomach immediately dropped in surprise when she witnessed that familiar smile and the sharp jaw that always found itself littered with cuts and gashes whenever this person was caught in the middle of a scuffle. The dull eyes that used to stare down at her with apprehension were now looking at her with a bright glint to them, and although he still held himself with hunched shoulders, he still was the same boy she fell in love with back in highschool.
He even wore the pair of black studs she gave to him as a present all those years ago.
Obviously shocked, the woman clamped her mouth shut with wide eyes and took a step back. Much to Gavin’s amusement, she slammed the door in his face and waited a few seconds before opening up again to see that the man was still standing there, his hand still occupied with the box of sweets it looked like he wanted to give to her.
“Gavin..” She whispered in disbelief, her mouth falling open as she couldn’t find the words for what she was feeling inside. Her body felt like an electric current was running through her as her legs trembled, and before she let herself collapse onto the floor, she threw herself at the man that stood at her doorstep with an unsure smile. The incredulous gasp that escaped her was weak when she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him in for a hug, only for him to immediately envelope her in his own arms and bring her the warmth he used to blanket her with back in their school days.
“Hey, Sunny.” He laughed by her ear and lifted her up from the floor when his body ached from bending for too long, her bare feet no longer touching the floor as he held her close to his chest and hid his face in the crook of her neck, grip unwilling to let go while she combed her fingers through the hair at the back of his head, as if she had done this action with him for a long time.
“I was worried I was too harsh on you.” She sobbed all of a sudden, startling Gavin into setting her back on her feet. She gently punched his chest to get her revenge on him for the time passed and sniffled sadly, her nose suddenly red and stinging as tears welled up in her eyes.
“It’s been years, Vinny.” Her voice cracked. “Come in. I want to hear all that you have to say.”
It took hours to get things off of his chest. He had to explain everything from the beginning to get Sunyi to understand the predicament he was in at a young age and how it formed him into a person who refused to get emotionally close to anyone. He didn’t know how to stop blaming himself for things that were out of his control, nor could he stand the thought of having to put someone through his own personal problems. He told her that he didn’t understand how it was possible to share his burdens with other people, and that it was too much to ask for when he’s already taken so much from them.
And she listened earnestly to each and every word that left his mouth, and the understanding of the pain he went through flashed through her eyes as she sat across from him on the couch, lips curled into a frown. The tears that ran down his face was enough to tell her that Gavin had truly changed over the years, and choosing to be vulnerable in front of her was great progress for his journey to achieve a life that isn’t plagued by bad memories.
His body was wracked with sobs as he curled in on himself in front of Sunyi, and all she could do was offer a warm arm around his shoulders to pull him close and have him lean on her, his chin resting atop his head as he confessed about that fateful day and the regrets that still cling onto him today.
She let him calm down and recollect herself before she spoke to him in a gentle voice, her hand wiping away the tears that were left on Gavin’s face. It wasn’t going to be an easy task to learn how to love and appreciate himself again. It could take a few months to get into a healthy headspace, but it could always come crashing down in a second if something goes wrong. Talking honestly to Minor and Sunyi was something that she begged him to do so that they’d know how to help, and she made it clear that hiding things from them was not going to make things better.
“I’m here for you,” she promised, “I’ve always been. You just need to make that step to reach out and I will be right by your side.”
And she sealed that promise with a twist of her pinky around his, her smile private as Gavin held their hands close to his chest, where his heartbeat was pounding against his ribcage.
