Passion Led Us to Where We Are Part 1 - Tyler (A Freshman Fanfic)
[A little note: I didn’t really have a plan for this week’s #choicescreate prompt, but after talking with @choicesmyway and @lanapowellblog they’ve helped me sort out my own thoughts; and motivated me to pursue this. I wanted to put something together with my favorite gang from freshman as their first year comes to an end. Unfortunately because I’m slow, and how long it actually is; I’ll probably post them in parts. I don’t know if I’m too close to the deadline @pb-boeboe @hollyashton but here’s my submission for this week’s prompt. And here’s what I think makes Tyler passionate about Hartfeld. A head’s up - it’s not really canon, I actually wish we knew more about Tyler and his personal life. Thoughts and critisms are always welcomed. Hope it’s enjoyable!]
[Summary: With the semester coming to an end, freshman students have started their final project. A time capsule suggested by Hartfeld’s student council, most students jump at an opportunity to leave a mark on the school. Here’s Tyler’s final semester project].
The fresh scent of flowers wafts towards Tyler’s nose as he crosses the street. He’s heading towards the main campus of Hartfeld. He breathes in the fresh air; the smell of beautiful weather after holding himself captive at home. He doesn’t care that it tickles as he rubs his nose with the crook of his thumb. He doesn’t care that it even causes his eyes to water just a little. He isn’t going to let something small such as seasonal allergies to ruin his good mood.
With finals behind him, he feels a sense of peace and happiness that’s been otherwise missing since it began. He smiles faintly at being able to see sunlight again, to taste it on his skin after being trapped inside for nearly two weeks and only escaping for brief coffee runs. His skin is a little red by sudden the intrusion, the sudden change in his routine but he doesn’t care. He basks in it, taking a moment to enjoy the perfect weather before stepping to the sidewalk.
It’s eight am and the sun beats heavily across his back.
He nods to the rhythmic sounds of Owl City playing loudly inside his ears. Happy lyrics - that puts a spring in his step and keeps him wide awake, unlike most of the students he passes. He watches the small pockets of students, studying their exhausted features and tired faces. He watches how slow they move. They barely look awake, barely look alive.
He can relate. Studying with little breaks for exams usually reduces him to a zombie. He hopes he doesn’t look as tired as they do, with sunken eyes and slumped shoulders. His brain’s usually mush after studying for weeks on end, but this time he’s not letting that stop him. With his goal in mind, he doesn’t let it.
Yet he understands. He knows how hard it can be on the body, how frustrating reading the same things and practicing the same formulas over and over again can drive anyone crazy. He can’t really blame them – exams take a beating on everyone.
Late night study sessions are easier to recover from – because for him it’s all about pacing. Organizing everything in a structural way. Even though the rest of his suitemates were still nursing crash naps and headaches; he’s feeling particularly elated that his are all over
He doesn’t let their grim expressions discourage him. Instead, he lets the lyrics of vanilla twilight wash over him. The soothing sounds of his voice reminds him that he should check on Abbie. A quick text is all he needs to make sure she’s okay. But as he reaches for his phone he remembers how early it is. He remembers that Abby and early mornings don’t mix well. He fights the urge to check on her every so often as he crosses another street. He doesn’t want to risk waking her up. She’s a light sleeper and he’s an early riser – even the subtlest of movements can cause her eyes to flutter open in alarm.
Warmth spreads to his chest. His cheeks are flushed but it has nothing to do with the weather. He remembers last night. Their own early celebration from the rest of their friends. And unlike their first few times together – it’s better. They understand what works for them and what doesn’t. It doesn’t even take them long to get tangled into one another. They don’t wait long to make it under the safety of their blankets.
He stumbles a little on the sidewalk, bringing him back to the present. He’s almost to the main building now, and tightens his hold on his backpack as he stares at the building.
He’s the first to leave home and he wonders idly if the rest of them would make it in time. It isn’t just any typical day for Hartfeld local freshmen. Today’s important. Today marked the time capsule – the important last step before crossing the finish line of the semester.
He hears it first from Chris until Arjun confirms it. Since they’re the on the student council, they’re the ones giving it the green-light it needs. He thinks the idea is great. He’s excited by it. The idea of a final project – one everyone can share before embarking for the summer.
His eyes glance up in time to open the front doors. The auditorium is a short walk away, and he absently slips his hands inside his pocket as he walks there. He takes his time because he knows he’s early. He gets to actually see Hartfeld. He checks out the pictures of graduates before him, random bulletin boards and posters around the school on his way to his destination.
There isn’t a big line up when he gets to there. There’s maybe two dozen freshmen already here – most of them unrecognizable to him but he joins the line immediately. He quits looking for familiar faces quickly and turns his music up to drone out the bustling conversations around him. Fireflies keeps him upbeat.
When his eyes skirt around the room again, they find Egar and Tripp not too far in front. They wave at him when they notice him in the back and gesture for him to join them. It’s not a significant distance ahead, and yet he doesn’t move. He smiles at them and shrugs instead. He doesn’t want to skip past all the people waiting too. They’re all just excited as he much as he is. He thinks they’re all ready to leave a piece of themselves behind too.
They take them one at a time, and each student disappears from the rest of the auditorium before emerging back a few minutes later.
He hears a bunch of girls laughing at something loudly behind him. He ignores it and switches his playlist – one of Abbie’s favorites. He turns his music louder and eventually the rest of the world fizzles out until it’s his turn.
He thinks he prepares as he walks inside. He’s been thinking about the question since Chris mentioned it. But he doesn’t realize how nervous he is until he’s inside the small room.
Professor Atiyah looks up in time to see him enter. “Ah! Tyler!” She smiles and welcomes him to take a seat.
He stops to stare blankly at her. He doesn’t know how she recognizes him. He keeps to himself in most of his classes. He’s hardly ever spoken to her.
He looks around warily at the room as he closes the door behind him. He’s never been in here before but it’s a simple room, with simple furniture. A window is located to his right, and towards his left there’s only empty walls with boring colors. It’s a slender room that immediately makes him feel small.
She’s sitting by the desk in front of him. A tripod is beside her. She gestures with the flick of her hand again for him to seat.
His eyes dart to the chair. Another simple thing about the room. He hesitates then takes the seat. There’s nowhere for him to look so he keeps his eyes to the floor until she clears her throat.
He doesn’t know where to start, what to say. Suddenly the speech he planned feels ruined. His stomach is a bunch of nerves. Suddenly, he feels excited and nervous at the same time.
He glances up at her in the same token that she calls him by his name. She brings his attention towards the intimidating looking camera. He’s hoping she can’t see him sweating from where she is. He fidgets inside his seat before wiping his hands on his plaid shirt.
She’s looking at him with sympathy – like she understands how he feels. The thought alone is ludicrous and he wants to snort. But a part of him is moved by her small act, and her eyes do try to comfort him in their own way. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He thinks that she can probably tell how nervous he is. He isn’t exactly hiding it. He fidgets in his seat for a moment longer, trying to put together all his thoughts to flow naturally, to be cohesive.
She doesn’t tell him to hurry. She just places her hands on the desk and look at him. It isn’t an uncomfortable stare. It’s actually starting to make him feel better. Her smile isn’t condescending either. It’s kind and he wonders why he’s never talked to her before. It feels a little silly to him now.
He takes a deep breath before looking at her. Then at the camera. The words he’s practiced so much for this moment isn’t the ones that he wants to talk about now. They’re different and come from a place he thinks he’s let go a long time ago. They remind him of home.
He leans back inside his seat. Finally, he feels the courage to say the words out loud. The words he used to hope he could ignore. “Getting into Hartfeld’s just another step for my future.” He begins. His words are a little shaky but he doesn’t let it deter him from continuing. “My parents have always had high expectations – so naturally this has always felt inevitable. Like I said, this is just another step.”
He pauses as he thinks about this semester. He thinks about all the experiences that leads him here, to this moment. Having an undeclared major hasn’t stopped him from taking an interest in computer science; the attention his parents has always wanted him to give. The attention it probably deserves.
He’s used to ignoring, because it’s always been their dreams for him and not his. Attending Hartfeld is supposed to be different. It’s supposed to be his chance to try something else, something more. He wants to be more than what they are; he doesn’t want to turn into one of them. A workaholic – a word he’s been familiar with ever since he’s been a kid. But he can’t fight it anymore, even if it reminds him of all the nights he spent home alone.
“Both my parents work in IT.” He supposes that’s why he’s always been interested. Watching them work has always fascinated him. “They dedicate their lives to it, and for a long time I didn’t want to end up like that. I didn’t want to love it more than everything else.” He shakes his head clear of memories that clung to him. “And yet for some reason, no matter how hard I try - I keep comping back to it. To coding, to figuring out each line and putting it all together in order to make a bigger picture.” He tries to come up with a definition that can explain it. He tries to come up with an idea that shows how much it means. “It provides a universal language, even though it’s a whole different way of thinking. Procedural. Logical.”
Suddenly the camera feels too personal. But he doesn’t want to lose his nerve. He’s come so far already - and if Abbie was here she’d be proud. He looks away from the camera and studies the floor instead. “I like being able to make sense of patterns and maybe all this time I’ve just been afraid of admitting it.” He looks back up at the camera again, and this time he isn’t so nervous anymore. “For a long time, I thought if I went back to it– I’d be doing it for them and not me, but maybe I’m doing it for both of us.”
He smiles as he remembers distant memories; the few moments where they were all home together. Though his parents were were often too invested and his curious eyes had kept wandering over to their screens, it’s a part of his better memories of them.
“I can’t be bitter about it anymore. My future means more than that. And the woman that’s always been there for me – supporting me, loving me means more than that too. She’s made me realize that I’m not just doing it for them anymore.” He smiles just thinking about her. “I’m doing it for me too.” She’s done a lot for him this year, put a lot of he used to think in perspective.
He shrugs his shoulders, “Passion brought me to Hartfeld. It brought me to Abbie and it brought me peace. Passion’s me realizing how important it all is - not just the parts I like. And I can’t throw it away.” His smile is faint now but it lingers like the quiet resolution he’s made. He finally feels at peace with his decision.
The professor looks surprised but quickly recovers. He suppose that he did just empty his thoughts at her, no at his older self. He laughs awkwardly to try and fill the now quiet room. “At least that’s what I’d like to think anyway.”,
She nods thoughtfully. “That was great Tyler. Very admirable.”
Heat rushes to his cheeks at her compliment. He ignores the feeling of embarrassment as he stands. “Thanks Professor.” He shifts his weight a little, before clearing his throat. Compliments makes him feel awkward.
He gestures towards the door when he realizes she was waiting for him to leave. “Right I’ll just go...want me to send the next person in?”
