10 Days PostOp: Confessions of a Worry-Wort
I can't believe its been 10 days since my surgery. On one hand it feels like it's been much longer since I'm stuck in my recliner and home alone all day, BUT on the other hand, it feels like surgery day and that rough day after was a long time ago because I've progressed SO much since then. I can honestly say each day gets a little easier - more ability to move, less pain, less swelling, and seeing the true results a little more with each passing day.
Confession time: Up until a couple days ago, I was pretty nervous about my results. What I was seeing in the mirror when I took off my compression garments was not really in line with what I wanted from the surgery. My tummy wasn't AS flat as I thought it'd be, my chest was too large (and, honestly, a little strange looking from uneven swelling in different areas). With all the medication I've been on, being in pain, and, honestly, my time of the month (*ahem*) skewing my views and making me extra emotional, plus not ever having been through this surgery and not knowing what to expect, I had a rough few moments with these concerns. I was holding onto hope, though, that it'd get better with time, but I wasn't totally sure.
I expressed these concerns to Dr. Patterson's office (trying, of course, to be strong and a little nonchalant so as not to seem whiny or something), and everyone there has been so gentle, understanding, and reassuring. At my last appointment a couple days ago, Angie at Dr. Patterson's office was so sweet, looking me right in the eye with a gentle smile, allowing me to explain my concerns, and looking at everything again (even though she didn't need to) just to make me feel better. "One side looks different than the other, and this looks weird, and should it be feeling and looking like this? I'm just worried," I kept saying over and over in different ways. One side of my body was swelling more than the other, I was worried about the incisions and how they'd look, etc. She just smiled and did her best to assure me to just keep resting like I should, relax, and give it time. "You're still very swollen and healing, so it doesn't look like it will in the end; it's only been a week, trust me, it'll get better, just try to relax and keep icing and taking your meds, you're doing great; you're actually healing so well - look how much better the bruising has gotten - this looks great," she assured so gently and confidently. She made me feel a lot better, for sure, but I was still a little skeptical.
Even though it's only been a couple days since then, I can already see a difference and see that she was right (of course - Dr. Patterson's team has only done this a ton of times ;-) ). I'm not totally healed obviously, but I can see the swelling going down and things evening up and looking more normal. I'm also experiencing much less pain, more ability to move on my own, sleeping better, needing less and less pain medication, and generally feeling better all around. My husband, David, too has been so reassuring and supportive, reminding me it really only has been just over a week since this major surgery. Encouraging me to relax and let myself heal, helping me when/ how he can, making sweet (& sometimes silly) comments about how much he already likes the results. ;-) He even did a little research and used that to reassure me that this is totally normal to be a little scared of the results and that what I'm seeing is completely normal at this PostOp stage. I feel so much better now not just physically as I heal, but also mentally and emotionally. I'm seeing the true results coming, and I'm SO beyond excited. I can't wait to be healed, see the final results, try on my clothes, and generally enjoy my improved body. :-D
I also got my last drain out a couple days ago which has been AWESOME! I'm FREE!! And I don't feel like a cyborg anymore! YAY! Haha!
Life outside my surgery has been pretty rough the past few days. Life and stress doesn't go away when you're down and out. And, of course, it's that much harder to deal with when you're trying to recover from major surgery. However, I've been blessed with a great support system of family and friends, and I know I/ we will all be okay. I cannot let the stresses of daily life get to me right now - I must relax and let myself heal. That's very hard for most women, I believe, We have a sense of responsibility to our families, household, careers, friends, and the list goes on. But we all must remember in every facet of life: If we don't take care of ourselves and get/ stay healthy, we can't take care of all the other people and things in our lives. I'm focusing on that for now, and trying to keep a positive and optimistic outlook. :-)
Until my next check in... Choose better, choose health, CHOOSE THE CHANGE!