#choreplay

[thebrowngothamite]

Embracing My Inner Cleaner

I think many of us could do a better job of cleaning up our apartments and houses. It’s hard to find the time, and it’s not really enjoyable. My wife and I have learned to collaborate when it comes to cleaning. Creating a plan of action is the way to go! How does this division work? I usually get my headphones and listen to music or a podcast.  If one of us cooks, the other cleans the kitchen. We split the bathroom responsibilities, mainly because my wife hasn’t been impressed with my tub cleaning. One of us cleans the floor, while the other the counter tops. We do now fight over who vacuums, because we upgraded our vacuum cleaner and that device is just the best. (It took until my 40’s to find a vacuum cleaner that actually cleans.) But, I know that when I clean, my wife notices. And she ain’t angry! Kinda like this.

Now, I can’t guarantee that your loved one will show you the kind of love shown in the popular #MrClean Super Bowl Ad, but you will definitely make your partner smile! 

So, fellow dads, partners, and spouses, join me. Bust up those long standing stereotypes! Let’s do our part and help with housework, and find ways to “choreplay”.  

With Valentine’s Day coming up, who is the cleaner of your dreams? Show this cleaner using hashtag #MrClean, and you could just surprise your spouse/partner with a Choreplay Kit to up his/her game even further!

Finally, check out this Atlantic article which focuses on a study about couples and housework. It matters!

I was compensated by Mr. Clean for this post, but wholeheartedly believe in this message!

[sarahbethlibrarian]

One of us, Sheryl, has advised men that if they want to do something nice for their partners, instead of buying flowers, they should do laundry. A man who heard this was asked by his wife one night to do a load of laundry. He picked up the basket and asked hopefully, “Is this Lean In laundry?” Choreplay is real.

How Men Can Succeed in the Boardroom and the Bedroom

I HATE this sentiment. I hate it. Sheryl Sandberg's entire ideology enrages me in general, but this is particularly dastardly. My husband is supposed to do the dishes, in lieu of tokens of affection like bringing me flowers, in order to make me happy?

are you fucking serious? my husband does the dishes because HALF THE PLATES WERE USED BY HIM. he changes the laundry because HALF THE SOCKS ARE HIS. He tidies the living room and takes out the trash while I clean the bathroom (we work toward our strengths) because we LIVE IN THE HOUSE EQUALLY. Keeping the house clean is supposed to be NICE TO ME? Fuck that. If he is going to be nice to me, I want it to be in normal ways, like hugs and candy and turning on the kettle when he hears me coming in and knows I'm cold; and housekeeping is done, together, because WE SHARE A HOUSE. Keeping that house in working order it not my sole responsibility just because I am a woman.

He does not take care of our home in order to get me to have sex with him. Does it help? I mean, I guess, in that maybe I'm less tired? But he does it, and I am clear about this, because we share the home we have made together. Do I still do more of the work? Probably. I am naturally a neater person than he is, and I do work a bit less than he does, but my share of the work doesn't feel burdensome. For instance, with laundry, he often switches it and brings it up, which takes about 5 minutes but requires shoes and going in the basement, while I do the folding and sorting, which takes about 40 minutes but all in front of the tv while seated and comfy.

Is the parity of our house something we actively work on? absolutely. Do I sometimes feel a pang of guilt when he is cleaning while I am lounging? definitely, but I try to remind myself that equality is a balance, and sometimes he lounges while I work on the house and I know that doesn't make him feel guilty.

But I do not want him to do chores in order for me to feel sexy towards him, and I am LOATHE to think this is a concept that is spreading. Fuck choreplay. Chores are chores, and our sex life is only helped bc it's gross to have sex in a dirty house.