#chowderransom

[holtzyrans]

I started this fic at some point and will probably never finish it but hear me out here: Chowder and Ransom bonding over mental illness and specifically anxiety, Ransom’s generalized anxiety disorder and Chowder’s as a symptom of his adhd. Chowder being really open about his therapy and medication journey and helping encourage Ransom to get the therapy that he needs! Ransom and Chowder being therapy buddies and going to the same clinic at the same time with different therapists!!

[dumouwin]

since i can’t stop/won’t stop writing chowder/ransom, here’s a thing that definitely happens:

after witnessing a full-fledged Ransom Panic Attack(tm), Chowder is like um??? that happens to me too, but, like, internally????

he’s a little nervous to ask rans about it though bc he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable in case he doesn’t want to talk about it

he has a Bad Day, and his Bad Days are virtually undetectable unless you’re looking really hard, and no one notices, which is good, he tells himself. he doesn’t want people to know he’s having a Bad Day

at the end of the day, though, he finds himself sitting alone in the living room with rans

and he just... he feels Not Good

so he goes for it bc he doesn’t want to feel like this anymore

“rans?”

“yeah, chowder?”

“what does anxiety feel like?”

“um. kind of like someone’s strangling you but they’re invisible and you don’t know why they’re strangling you or how to make them stop.”

“huh.”

“why do you ask?”

“i... uh. i have that. all the time.”

and so ransom is immediately on the ball, telling chowder how he copes with his anxiety and letting him know that student health actually has some great mental health resources and recommending his therapist bc she’s the bomb.com

“i need a therapist?”

“you don’t need one, but it helps me. sometimes it’s nice to just talk to someone that’s removed from your life, you know? she helps keep me sane.”

“i dunno...”

“you don’t have to go, but if you wanted to, i could walk with you there? would that help?”

“yeah. yeah, that’d help a lot.”

after this discussion ransom starts doing little check-ups with chowder, just asking him how his classes are going and how he feels about the season and if his family’s doing well

chowder looks forward to this, bc rans is a safe place to vent about classes or family stuff or even hockey. he notices that he always feels better when he gets to talk to ransom and get all that stuff off his chest

ransom walks him to a therapy appt about a week and a half later, and chowder is skeptical, but it actually goes pretty well

it doesn’t fix him or anything, but it feels like a small step in the right direction

rans takes chowder to get dinner and go to a movie after that, bc “you deserve it, c. that’s a huge step. it’s awesome.”

[dumouwin]

holster knowing abt ransoms crush on chowder and them talking abt it and just nudging rans whenever chowder does something Cute or Sexy (or both bc lets be honest that boy,,) thats aimed at rans and rans commenting on his Goalie thin g (where hes super intense during the game and shit) like just the boys flirting bc that is my Shit

“Dude,” Holster says sympathetically.

“I know,” Ransom sighs.

“You told him his helmet hair looked nice,” Holster winces.

“I know,” Ransom repeats, not even trying to hide his grimace.

“I haven’t seen you be this off your game in... ever.” He puts an arm around Ransom’s shoulders, steering him back towards their corner of the locker room and away from the goalie stalls where Chowder is happily chatting with Jack.

“Maybe it’s because he’s a teammate?” Ransom shrugs.

“Nuh uh,” Holster shakes his head, “Freshman year you had Mitchy wrapped around your finger after two practices. This is something else.”

“God,” Ransom groans, “He’s just - fucking - do you see him right now?” He gestures over at where Chowder is sitting in his stall, running a hand through his hair and beaming up at Jack.

“Dirty pool,” Holster says, “Cute, hot, and a little bit crazy. Exactly your type. You never had a chance, bro.”

Chowder is holding a puppy. He’s holding a puppy and making kissy faces at it and wearing a bro-tank that shows off how unfairly toned his arms are and it feels like Ransom’s chest is constricting.

“Brah,” Holster breathes out next to him, “Brah, if you don’t go hit on him, I will.”

“Shut up, I know,” Ransom groans, “I just gotta think of something to say, first.”

“Say, ‘What’s cookin’, good lookin’?’” Holster suggests, a sleazy smile plastered on his face. Ransom shoves him hard. “Jesus, ouch. Just talk to him. Ask him about his day. Be a normal human being.”

“Right,” Ransom nods, taking a deep breath to steady himself. Chowder’s playing tug-of-war with the puppy now, looking at him with all the focus he shows when he’s in the crease during a game.

“He’s a puppy, Chowder, not an opponent,” Ransom laughs, “Pretty sure he’s not going to score on you.”

“You never know!” Chowder laughs, knocking his shoulder against Rans’ as he settles down next to him. “Have you seen Air Bud? Pretty sure there’s a hockey one.”

“Ice Bud, maybe,” Rans offers.

Chowder pauses for a second before he says, “I feel like that’s a beer.”

They’re both laughing, then, and Rans can’t take his eyes off the way Chowder’s face lights up when he laughs, dimples out in full force. He can practically feel Holster smirking at him from across the quad.

“This is unfair and cruel,” Ransom whines into Holster’s shoulder.

“I know, buddy,” Holster murmurs, consolingly patting Ransom’s back.

“He’s trying to kill me. He knows what he’s doing and he’s trying to kill me.”

“He knows what he’s doing,” Holster agrees, “But I don’t think killing you is what he has in mind. Look at him.”

Ransom moves his face from where it was mashed up in Holster’s shirt to look back at Chowder. He’s still dancing, hips moving in a fucking sinful grind, but now he’s staring at Rans, both eyebrows raised like an invitation.

“Go, my son,” Holster says, pushing Rans away from him and towards Chowder.

“Fuck,” Rans mutters under his breath. It takes three strides for him to get to Chowder, and half a second for Chowder to take a half-step back, pressing his back against Ransom’s front. Rans is tentative, but when he settles his hands on Chowder’s hips all he does is lean back even more into him.

“It was about time you showed up,” Chowder teases. Ransom can’t even respond to that, just squeezes Chowder’s hips and tries not to die from the way Chowder’s moving against him, head thrown back onto Ransom’s shoulder.

He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them he catches Holster’s gaze from across the room. Holster smiles and gives him a thumbs-up, and if it wasn’t so dark Ransom’s pretty sure he would see Holster give him a sleazy wink, too.