Why did no one warn me about Pine in that hot spring?

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Why did no one warn me about Pine in that hot spring?
Me: CHRIS PINE JUST ADOPTED A PUPPY!
The Mister: Don't worry, I'll fix you a stiff drink.
So I saw Jack Ryan yesterday
And I officially need to temporarily quit Chris Pine, cold turkey. Promopacalypse 2014 is not yet over, but this stellar bisexual needs a break.
So recommend me something to cleanse the palate. Please. I beg of you.
Just woke up from a dream (nightmare???) that Chris Pine had started taking a prop cane around with him everywhere. He'd toss it from hand to hand, use it to twirl and to gesture and to lean on saucily.
WELL I'VE SEEN YOUR NEXT MOVE NOW PINE. GOOD LUCK TRYING TO CHARM ME WITH YOUR SEXY PROP CANE -- YOU'RE NOT CHARLIE CHAPLIN, ASSHOLE. AND YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'VE HAD A VISION AND I WILL NOT BE UNPREPARED!!!