somewhere in the back of my mind is a cloudy and nebulous piece of writing where rafael and chris talk about sex and Raf doesn't understand how anyone could NOT want sex, and Chris isn't sure how to explain being ace because his understanding of it is so self-focused and hard for him to elaborate in a way that includes others, and then Raf expresses confusion about why someone who didn't want sex would be made into a Romantic...
And Chris has sort of a blistering sudden awareness that Oliver was probably thrilled by the fact that he had no innate desire. It's never really sunk in before, not fully, that he only ever wanted Chris to suffer, every single second of every single day.
That none of it was ever about anything but having someone pretty under his thumb who would be eternally miserable and equally eternally unable to do anything about it.
And that would not be a good time for Chris's brain...
