Re-Opening Wounds
00
“Victoria, Vicki ? Dear where are you”? My mother yelled as she made her way to the East wing of the house where my bedroom resides.
“In here. I’m in the lounge” I called over my shoulder as I continued to stare in the mirror brushing out my thick girls that fell below my shoulders. She sounded extremely excited which had me curious to what could have caused just that type of reaction on an early Saturday morning.
“There you are dear. I’ve been looking all over the house for you. You’ll never believe the phone call I just received”.
Sitting next to me on the small lounge chair that sat across from my large vanity, my mother couldn’t hold back the large smile that was plastered on her face showing all of her perfectly white teeth. I always admired my mother’s beauty. She was such a carefree woman considering the fact she was married to one of the most successful and not to mention well known doctors New York City had to offer. You would have thought the pressure of being perfect would weigh her down, but no not my mother. She was still as beautiful as the day she met my father and it was almost unbelievable how natural it came to her. Grabbing my hand she couldn’t contain the excitement in her voice as she began to tell me about her morning phone call. I sat eagerly ready for any news she was going to deliver even though I doubt my reaction was going to match hers.
“You will never guess who called this morning saying they would be in town and are coming to visit”
“no I won’t, now tell me who” I said with a smile that mimicked my mother.
“Adrian, can you believe it? Five years and he’s finally coming home. My baby is coming home! I can’t wait to see the man he’s grown into”.
Adrian.
Adrian Michael Grant.
He was coming home
I think the very minute my mother said his name my heart stopped beating in my chest. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I just knew that he was going to be here live and in the flesh.
“Adri, He. .He’s coming home” I spoke in a shaky tone trying to hide my real emotions running through me.
“Yes dear, he’s finally coming home. You know how upset everyone was when he left without saying a single word. I’ve been holding on to this guilt that maybe we weren’t good to him. Maybe we didn’t make him feel as comfortable as we thought.
I . . .I just don’t know what caused him to leave so suddenly and without a single goodbye” She said with an uneasy expression as she stared off into space.
“Either way he’s coming home and I will be damned if we lose him again. Everything tonight will be perfect. I have the staff setting up his old room across the hall and making sure all his favorite meals will be prepared. Oh Vicki I don’t think you understand how happy this makes me. Wait until I tell your father. OH MY GOD! He is going to be too excited” and with that she floated out of my room on cloud nine anticipating his arrival.
I, on the other hand, was stuck.
Literally couldn’t move.
Adrian was coming home. He’d be here tonight. I couldn’t help the racing images going through my mind of our last encounter before he disappeared like as if he never existed.
I’ve known Adrian all my life. We grew up together. Adrian’s mother worked as my caretaker while my parents tended to their overactive schedules. I was 2 years old when she first started working here. Adrian was a cute little scrawny boy with skin the color of caramel and the cutest freckles that covered his cheekbones. I think I knew from the first time I laid eyes on him that I loved him. Silly right? How was it possible for a two year old to know she would forever love a four year old? I don’t know the answer to that question myself but something inside me knew that he would always be mine.
Adrian and I were like Bonnie and Clyde without the criminal activity of course. Whenever you seen Adrie you just knew I’d be right by his side and vice versa. We were each other’s shadows. We spent every waking moment with each and never got tired of the others company. There was nothing that could tear us apart. I mean NOTHING.
My parents practically treated Adrian like their own child, if not sometimes better. He was enrolled in all the same schools as me and was afforded the same treatment I did whenever we weren’t in the company of our home. My parents loved him and his mother. They were our family and they were to treated as such. We were all so happy, but life soon got in the way. When I was 14 and Adrian was 16 his mother fell very ill. The doctors couldn’t explain what was going on with her. It was as if one day she just woke up and said I’m going to die. Six months, six months was all it took for her to completely succumb to her illness. She died on my birthday. I had never seen Adrian cry so much, actually come to think of it I don’t think I had ever see him cry. My parents did their best to comfort him but it seemed like nothing worked. That night changed our lives forever, in more ways than one.
I couldn’t help but feel my heartbreak as I heard him cry from my room. Not being able to take it anymore, I crawled out of my bed and slowly tiptoed to his room which was right across the hall from mine. I slowly pushed the door open to see him lying in the fetal position with his eyes clinched tightly shut as he rocked back & forth holding a stuff bear his mother gave him for dear life. I stayed as quiet as possible as made my way over to him. I carefully lay behind him and wrapped my arms tightly around his abdomen. Startled, he turned around in my arms and stared into my eyes. We stayed that way for a couple minutes. Him with a face full of tears and me rubbing his cheeks trying to offer up the best smile I could. The next thing I remember is his mouth smashing into mine as he adjusted his body on top of me. Everything was happening so fast I didn’t whether to kiss him back or push him off of me. Feeling like he needed it, I opened my mouth and kissed him back just as hard as he did me. Our hands were everywhere and I felt like my whole body was on fire. I never thought myself to be attracted to Adrian. I always looked at him as a best friend, but as things started to get more intense between us I knew that was all a façade to hide my deeper feelings. Pulling away from my mouth, he rested his hands on both sides of my head and just stared into my face. I was so nervous I couldn’t look him in the eye, but yet I was so excited for what was going to happen next that I had no choice. When my eyes finally met his I tried to speak but was cut off by the rough shake of his head. Slowly and one by one he began to unbutton the top to my pajama set. I sat frozen as I watched each one of his fingers unsnap the 6 buttons that held my top shut. He took one hand and ran it from my cheek to my neck and down the center of my chest only stopping once he got to the hem of my waistband. I looked back up at him and saw a look I had never seen in his eyes before. DESIRE. He wanted me and to tell the truth I wanted him just as bad. Sitting up a little I slipped out of my top exposing my bare chest to him. I had never felt such a level a discomfort. I quickly covered myself with a pillow only for him to gently snatch it away while kissing my shoulder. In that moment he made me feel like the most beautiful thing to ever grace his vision. His deep brown eyes almost dripped of love with how hard he was staring at me. After removing his shirt he slightly pushed me back to lay flat on my back. His head dipped down as he kissed the sensitive spot behind my ear and continued down my neck. I didn’t know what was happening and why I was feeling such a sudden rush of heat between my legs but it caused my body to jerk forward as I arched my back and thrust my hips upwards into his. As a moan escaped my mouth I felt him groan against my collarbone. What were we doing? What was going through his head right now? Whatever it was I wasn’t ready for it to stop as his hot mouth clamped on to one of my erect nipples. I couldn’t stop myself from gripping his head as he alternated between my breasts. I soon felt his hand slide underneath the hem of my pajama bottoms and I couldn’t do anything to stop him due to the pleasure his mouth was causing me. That’s when I felt it. I felt something long and stiff against my thigh as he swiftly stroked me through my panties. Was that him and if it was, how much more was he going to grow? Making his way back to my mouth, he pecked my lips twice before pulling back and staring deep into my eyes. In that instant I knew that whatever came from this night would change us forever.
From that very night we started a love affair that would rival Romeo & Juliet. He was my everything and I was his. Of course my parents were oblivious to our relationship. Hell they weren’t around long enough to even notice anything different between us two. It was beautiful and exciting and I knew I would love him for the rest of my life. As both of us started to near the age of going to college our relationship took an unexpected turn. I was going to be a senior in high school and Adrian was getting ready to enter his freshmen year in college. My birthday was approaching and I couldn’t help but feel the sadness that exuded from Adrian around this time of year. But this year was different he was weirdly excited and I didn’t know why, but I soon got my answer. Right after our family celebrated my birthday with dinner Adrian stole me away from peering eyes as he led me outside to the balcony located above our vast garden right where the rose bushes were located.
-past-
“Happy Birthday baby” Adrian whispered in Victoria’s ear and he wrapped himself around her from behind.
She turned in his arms smiling from ear to ear, pecking each freckle that decorated his handsome face. She had never been so happy on her birthday and it was all because of him. This beautiful man holding her in a loving embrace staring at her with his heart in his eyes was the only thing Victoria wished for on her birthday. All she wanted was for him to be happy on this day and she was getting that.
“Baby you said I had one more present, where is it” Victoria pouted after kissing his nose.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot your last and FINAL gift” as a cheesy grin covered his face.
He removed himself from behind her and grabbed her hands as he moved in front of her. Gripping both of her hands in his he began to speak as he could hear his heart thrashing against his ribcage.
“Victoria Giselle Monroe, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of coming into my life. I thank God everyday for blessing me with you.
After my mother died I didn’t. . . .I didn’t know if I was going to make it” He sighed pulling her closer to him.
“The moment you came into my room and wrapped your arms around me. . . .
Ugh I just knew everything was going to be ok as long as I had you” he said as he wiped the tear that had fallen from her left eye.
“Aww baby don’t cry” kissing her temple “Listen, I love you. I’ve always loved you, I will always love you”.
“As long as I have you everything will be ok” Victoria sniffled as she rested her head on Adrian’s chest.
Adrian stepped back from Victoria and dropped to one knee as he slid his hand in his pocket to pull out a black velvet box. Victoria covered her mouth in total shock as more tears fell down her face. He was doing it. He was making their forever real.
He was making their forever real!
WAIT! He was making their forever real.
Before he could get the question out Victoria grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him up quickly shaking her head from left to right. She couldn’t let him do this; she couldn’t let him ask her this question knowing she couldn’t say yes.
“Baby what’s wrong? why’d you stop me from giving you your last gift” Adrian said confused while searching Victoria’s eyes for an answer.
“You can’t ask me that. You can’t do this. You’re only 18 and I Just turned 17 were too young. My parents would never let me marry you right now. Why would you do this” she spat angrily as her tears where starting to drown out her words and she began to choke on her on saliva.
Adrian couldn’t believe her reaction. He couldn’t believe this was his Victoria standing in front of him denying their love. To say his heart was broken was understatement. Victoria was caught up in her own madness that she had not once looked up to see just how much she was destroying the man in front of her. Adrian couldn’t move, he could barely think. Everything he thought they had was drastically disappearing right as he had it in his reach.
“STOP” ! She jumped at the boom of his voice as it echoed through night air.
Finally looking up she saw his face, solid as stone, red as the rose petals below them and his eyes as black as the night sky.
“Adrie . . . Adrian” She said timidly not trying to upset him any further.
“You don’t love me, you never did! You felt sorry for me huh? Oh poor Adrian whose mother died suddenly, let me pretend to care to make him feel better” he finished sarcastically.
“Adrian that’s not. . .”
“THAT’S NOT WHAT? HUH? THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID? YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO, LOOK AT YOU! YOU’VE ALREADY GIVEN ME MY ANSWER” he screamed and he brushed past her harshly.
She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to run after him but her feet wouldn’t move. Victoria just sunk to her knees and cried into her hands not sure of her next move.
-present -
I shook my head as the horrible memory flooded back to me. When I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn’t stop the tears that were streaming down my face just like ones from that night. I didn’t move from my spot that night until the sun came up. By the time I had reached his room the door was wide open and every trace of him was gone. From his clothes to his favorite books, everything I had grown to love about him was gone just like him. Now he was returning and I had no idea what I was going to do. He left because of me. Could I be the reason he came back? Could we possibly mend both of our broken hearts or are the wounds too deep to be healed?