#chronicles of existence

[chronicles-of-existence]

The three things you probably have if you struggle with chronic pain:

Weird obsessions

Great music taste

A love for something that you can no longer do due to your medical condition(s)

[chronicles-of-existence]

Doing things I enjoy is no longer in the budget for this month

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Scared I won't ever get better

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I keep dreaming of things that I think are now impossible

I dream and then wake up, and then mourn what I lost, because for a moment it felt like I might have it again

In the moment where I realise that I'm dreaming, before I inevitably wake up and have to confront my pain, I feel weightless and free, unattached from the inherent struggles of existence

I dread returning to consciousness

[chronicles-of-existence]

It's now the point in the year where lots of people are very busy celebrating the holidays with family and friends.

At this time of year, it can be difficult to keep up and I just want to share a reminder that you're not alone. It's ok to take it slow, and remember not to overexert yourself. Don't cause yourself pain in the future, but still make sure to remember to enjoy the present.

Remember that you are loved, and that even if this year's Christmas looks a little different to your other ones, that's ok! Making adaptations in life is how people survive, and that is so much more important if you deal with a chronic illness or pain.

Be sure to do what you can this December, and know that it's alright to take the breaks you need to enjoy the holidays.

With love <3

[chronicles-of-existence]

This is a tough world, that we live in.

[chronicles-of-existence]

Condemned to bed for the day :(

[chronicles-of-existence]

Said the words "I'm actually starting to enjoy life" (see: pain is at a 2/10 rather than a 4/10) yesterday

Was immediately hit with a flare-up of ungodly levels