#chuck knigge

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 11: K ist für Krampus, der um’s Eck nun schaut

(Pretty sure the correct modern German would be “um die Ecke,” but the phrasing is based on this old postcard.)

Look, you’ve heard of the Krampus. He might be the only one in this alphabet you’ve heard of at all so far. He was on Venture Bros, Steven Colbert, American Dad, a feature film, and like a dozen really terrible DTV movies I found on Amazon Prime. You know his deal.

Except, I think, maybe you don’t. In one of my better known essays, I argue that the modern American view of the Krampus as the villain of Christmas is misguided. If you don’t feel like clicking a link, in short: he’s Saint Nicholas’s companion, why would St Nick hang out with a villain?; his job is to punish the wicked, why is that a villain’s job?; yes, he’s scary, but he uses fear as a tool against the superstitious and cowardly lot that are true villains; he’s Batman.

More significantly, however, he’s derived from a long-standing tradition of tutelary (i.e., protective) spirits, not demons. The bells on a traditional Krampus costume are there to drive off actual evil spirits. Furthermore, if Krampus is bad, then Christmas is meaningless. Whether you look at this time of the year as Christmas, Yule, Saturnalia, the Birthday of the Invincible Sun, or just the winter solstice, the metaphor at its heart is renewal and new beginnings. The Son is here; the sun is here. It’s about hope and second chances, it has to be. More than peace and joy and love and presents, Christmas/solstice/etc is about the opportunity presented by a fresh start. Again and again in the lore of Saint Nicholas, the saint tames and chains demons. He doesn’t kill them. He impresses them into his service helping the weak and rewarding the good. The chains Krampus (and others) wears symbolize repentance.

As I pose in my secret origin of the Krampus, according to lore, he has some acts in his past that earned him his fierce reputation, but now he is atoning for them. What about whipping children and all that? As asserted in this comic, “a child has no reason to fear [him], for he knows not what he does. But a man, a man...” Or as Grant Morrison put it perhaps more succinctly in Klaus, “There are no bad children.” Evidence? Look at the children in this video and see how scared most of them aren’t.

Anyway, you’re wrong about the Krampus, is what I’m getting at. Also you’re probably pronouncing it wrong. Also real Krampus has one foot and one hoof. Also he doesn’t come at Christmas, he comes on Saint Nicholas Eve, aka Krampusnacht, December 5. Also he’s only one of dozens of dark companions of Saint Nicholas, some of whom are also shaggy demons, some are soot-covered men, some are witches, at least one is just straight up a bear. Many of them have been mentioned in this alphabet so far, more are yet to come.

K is also for:

Klaubauf, a Krampus from Bavaria

Kallikantzaroi, Greek gremlins here to fuck up your Christmas and shit in your food

Previous letters here.

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 25 part 1: Y is for Yule Lads, who’re swiping your treats

The jólasveinarnir or Yule Lads are the thirteen gift-bringers of Iceland. Their mother is Grýla, a child-eating ogress from the lava fields of Dimmuborgir; their father is Leppalúði, Grýla’s third husband, whom married after she killed and ate the first two. Grýla spends the year listening for naughty children; at Christmas, she emerges and turns them into stew.

The Yule Lads are her thirteen sons, who emerge from the lava fields one at a time in the days leading up to Christmas until they are all present on the day itself, before leaving, again one by one, gone by Epiphany. They are Mxyzptlk-level pranksters and annoyances. Their names hint at what they do:

Stekkjastaur, or Sheep-Cote Clod, comes on December 12, leaves on Christmas. He drinks all the milk from your sheep’s teats until there is none left. His legs don’t bend at the knee, so just give him a good shove if you see him.

Giljagaur, or Gully Gawk, comes on December 13, leaves December 26. He hides in a gully until the milk maid isn’t looking, then sneaks in and skims all the cream from the milk.

Stúfur, or Stubby, comes on December 14, leaves on December 27. He uses his weird little fingers to scrape all the tasty burned bits out of the bottom of your pans.

Þvörusleikir, or Spoon-Licker, comes on December 15, leaves on December 28. He licks all your wooden spoons. This is all he eats, so he is rail thin.

Pottaskefill, or Pot-Scraper, comes on December 16, leaves on December 29. He scrapes out the goodies from the mixing bowls.

Askasleikir, or Bowl-Licker, comes on December 17, leaves on December 30. He licks the scraps out of a special lidded bowl called the askur.

Hurðaskellir, or Door-Slammer, comes on December 18, leaves on December 31. He slams your doors right as you’re about to drift off to sleep.

Skyrgámur, or Skyr-Gobbler, comes on December 19, leaves on January 1. He eats up all your skyr, which is a pretty delicious Icelandic yogurt.

Bjúgnakrækir, or Sausage-Swiper, comes on December 20, leaves on January 2. He swipes sausages left to smoke in the rafters.

Gluggagægir, or Window-Peeper, comes on December 21, leaves on January 3. He peers through your windows until you’re not paying attention and then sneaks in and steals your toys.

Gáttaþefur, or Doorway-Sniffer, comes on December 22, leaves on January 4. He sniffs out all your laufabrauð, which is a special fried bread shaped like a leaf.

Ketkrókur, or Meat-Hook, comes on December 23, leaves on January 5. Sticks his hook down your chimney to swipe the roast lamb you’re making for St Thorlák's Day.

Kertasníkir, or Candle-Stealer, comes on December 24, leaves on January 6. He steals and eats your candles.

Although they were mere pranksters at first, these days they bring gifts to children who leave their shoes out on the window sill. Bad children get a potato. They also visit the National Museum in Reykjavik each year and typically change into Santa-like suits for Christmas.

The Yule Lads have appeared recently in comics such as Sleigher: The Heavy Metal Santa Claus and Klaus and the Witch of Winter.

Y is also for:

The Yule Cat, Grýla’s pet who scours the land looking to devour children who did not get new clothes for Christmas

The Yule Goat, first a foe, then a friend, now mostly a decoration and victim of arson

Previous letters here. 

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 2: B is Befana, whose coal is quite yummy

La Befana is the friendly witch of Epiphany, delivering presents via flying broom every January 5/6 in Italy, or in Russia, where she is known as Baboushka (Grandmother). She also arrives in the week after Epiphany in the Dominican Republic, where she is known as La Vieja Belén (the Old Lady of Bethlehem), to deliver gifts to the poor children who were not able to see the Three Kings on Epiphany.

The story goes that La Befana (whose name derives from Epiphaneia, or Epiphany, the day on which the infant Jesus was revealed to the Magi) was an old woman who offered shelter to the journeying Wise Men but refused their offer to travel with them, as she was too busy cleaning. She soon regretted this choice, and she has since wandered the world looking for the Christ child, not finding him, but rewarding any good child she comes across in the meantime, and giving coal to any bad ones.

It has become a custom in Italy these days that, because every child is a little bit bad, every child gets coal on Epiphany. However, because every child is also a little bit good, that coal is made of black rock candy.

La Befana is a sentimental favorite of mine, because she is the first international gift-bringer I learned about, thanks to a project I did on Christmas in Italy back in elementary school.

Here is a very popular song about La Befana, based on an old children’s song:

La Befana vien di notte Con le scarpe tutte rotte Col vestito alla romana Viva, Viva La Befana!

La Befana comes in the night

With her shoes all tattered

With clothes like a Roman

Long live la Befana!

B is also for:

Belsnickel, the gift-bringer from southwest Germany who is also his own Krampus

Saint Basil the Great, the New Year’s gift-bringer of Greece

Balthazar, one of the Magi

Badalisc, the Alpine Epiphany dragon who comes to write dis tracks about the whole town and then eat your polenta

Blitzen, a reindeer

Bianca, another horse of Saint Nicholas

Boudreaux, an alligator employed by Papa Noel

Bartel, Butz, Bellzebub, Bullerklas, Buzebergt, Budelfrau, and other assorted Krampusse

Previous letters here.

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 21: U is for Uriel, who saved John the Baptist

Uriel is an archangel whose name is Hebrew for “God is my light.” Although only two angels are named in protocanonical scriptures, Hebrew or Greek, those being Michael and Gabriel, there are seven archangels in the rabbinic tradition following the Hebrew exile in Babylon. Uriel appears in apocryphal Hebrew works (which some Christian traditions consider intertestamental) such as 2 Esdras and pseudepigraphal works like The Testament of Solomon and the book of Enoch, and Christian apocrypha such as The Apocalypse of Peter and the Life of Adam and Eve.

His relationship to Christmas comes in his role in apocryphal versions of the Flight to Egypt. The Flight to Egypt is a canonical story from the Gospel of Matthew in which Mary and Joseph flee with the baby Jesus to Egypt to escape the Massacre of the Innocents, which was the decree by King Herod that all children in the region under the age of two must be killed, which was issued in an attempt to kill the Christ child. (There is a place for a discussion about the negative and antisemitic consequences of this story across the centuries, but this is not it.)

At any rate, anyone thinking about this story would realize that there is a plot hole: if all the babies were to be killed, what of Jesus’s slightly older cousin, John the not-yet Baptist? Well, as is often the case, the Biblical Expanded Universe stepped into to save canon where it failed. In the Protevangelion of James, John is saved when his mother Elizabeth flee to the mountains and one mountain helpfully opens up and swallows them both, where they were protected by an angel.

In the most popular tradition, the angel who protects John is Uriel, who rather than hiding with him in a hungry mountain, simply carries him to meet his cousin in Egypt. This became a common motif in art known as the Rest on the Flight to Egypt, showing babies Jesus and John playing with Mary and Uriel watching over them. Perhaps the most famous painting of this motif is Leonardo’s Virgin of the Rocks.

The depiction of Uriel here is based heavily on his portrayal in Chris Schweizer’s papercraft Nativity, a project to which I made some contributions.

Previous letters here.

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 7: G is for Gwiazdor, whose starlight ne’er dwindles

Gwiazdor, the Star Man, is the gift-bringer in parts of Western Poland, known by his tall cap, long beard, and straw belt that wards off evil magic. He comes from another world, the Star Land, and he’s not the only one. Star symbolism is very important in Polish Christmas traditions.

Gwiazdor is often accompanied (or in some cases, wholly replaced by) Gwiazdka, the Little Star or Star Woman, who is often depicted as an angel, but who represents the Star of Bethlehem. This name, Gwiazdka, is also used for the first star seen on the night of Christmas Eve during Wigilia, the Christmas vigil. Children gaze into the sky waiting to see the first star of the night, hoping to be the first to cry out “The star is come!” Once the star has been seen, the family sits down to eat after an all-day fast.

Additionally, choruses of children carrying a large colorful star  known as Star Boys go caroling, and may accompany Gwiazdor as well. The season of carols, or kolędy, may last until early February.

G is also for:

Glossie, a reindeer

Gui, Père Noël’s favored donkey

Grýla, child-eating ogress and mother of the Yule Lads

Gentle Camel of Jesus, the smallest of the Magi’s camels who fell behind from exhaustion during the trip to find the Christ Child, but who nevertheless delivers gifts to children in Syria on Epiphany Eve

Previous letters here.

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 14: N is for Nicholas, tamer of beasts

Saint Nicholas of Myra is the fourth of the “big five” gift-bringers and indeed maybe the biggest of them all. The fact that his feast day is actually December 6 means that he is frequently celebrated in addition to whatever Christmas and/or Epiphany gift-bringers a culture might have.

Nicholas is the most venerated non-apostle saint and is known as Nicholas the Wonder-Worker among other laudatory epithets. He is the patron of children, sailors, thieves, prostitutes, the falsely accused, pawnbrokers, and many many more.There are innumerable tales of his miracles, his long-standing rivalry with the cult of Artemis in his home of Asia Minor, and the time he got arrested for punching a guy in front of the emperor until baby Jesus set him free.

The two best known stories of Saint Nicholas are of how he surreptitiously delivered three bags of gold through the window and into the stockings of three young girls who could not otherwise afford dowries, thus saving them from a life of forced prostitution (hence the patronage of prostitutes), and the time he resurrected three murdered boys who had been butchered and placed in a pickle barrel by a greedy innkeeper (hence the patronage of children).

For this reason, children around the world set out their shoes on December 5 hoping that Saint Nicholas will come by and fill them with treats and gifts. Depending on the culture, he may come on a white horse or a gray donkey or down a golden rope, or something else. He may come on the eve or the morning of his feast day, depending on the culture. He is frequently accompanied by a helper or dark companion, whose job is generally to punish the wicked while the saint rewards the good. Frequently these companions are beasts, monsters, or criminals that Nicholas encounters, bests, and impresses into his service in order for them to turn to a life of good. There are literally dozens of these; some have already been featured on the alphabet, and there are more to come.

Previous letters here. 

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 23: Wenceslas brings food and mid-winter’s fuel

Saint Wenceslas, known in his native Czech as Svatý Václav, was the duke of Bohemia from 921 until his death in 935. His actions during his life were considered so magnanimous and just that he was posthumously named a king by the Holy Roman Emperor as an example of a rex justus, or righteous king.

He obtained the rule of Bohemia while still a young man, and soon found himself faced with a rebellious duke named Radslav. Rather than risk the lives of his foot soldiers, Wenceslas challenged Radslav to single combat for command of the kingdom. Radslav launched one spear and then another at Wenceslas, but neither found his mark, for Wenceslas had the protection of heaven, and angels had deflected Radslav’s weapons. When the rebellious duke saw this, he surrendered.

His connection to Christmas comes from the most famous example of his great generosity. One year on St Stephen’s day (December 26), he saw a poor man struggling to gather firewood in the midst of a storm. Summoning a page, he gathered up food, wine, and firewood and set out to find and save the man. The young page began to falter in the cold, but Wenceslas told him to step where the duke’s feet had impressed on the snow. Doing so, the page found himself miraculously warmed by following in Wenceslas’s footsteps. The mighty saint showed that those who would bless the poor would themselves find blessing.

While Wenceslas does not come to deliver gifts the way most of the other figures in this alphabet do, he still watches over his home of Bohemia (now the Czech Republic) and will rise in Prague when his homeland is in its hour of greatest need, raising his army from the mountain Blanik, where they lie sleeping in wait.

Previous letters here.

[benito-cereno]

The Alphabet of Christmas, by Benito Cereno and Chuck Knigge, day 1: A is Apalpador, patting your tummy

The Apalpador, also known in some regions as Apalpa-Barrigas, Pandagueiro, and Tientapanzas, is a gift-bringer primarily known in Galicia, an autonomous region in northwestern Spain, though he is also celebrated in Écija in southern Spain, a region with many families of Galician origin.

His name means roughly “the one who senses by feeling” (cognate with “palpate”), but I usually simplify it to “the patter.” And that’s his gimmick: he is a gentle giant coal miner who spends the year carving toys and harvesting chestnuts, and on Christmas Eve (or New Year’s Eve in some regions), he comes silently into children’s rooms and pats them on the belly to see how full or empty their little tums are. If they are full, he says, “Así, así esteades todo o ano!” (“May you be just like this all year round!”) and leaves them a pile of chestnuts and some toys. If their bellies are empty, he leaves an extra large pile of chestnuts and other treats to help fill them up.

Here is a very excellent music video about the Apalpador that I found recently.

A verse from a very different Apalpador song:

Hoxe é día do Nadal, que haberá gran nevarada, e há vir o Apalpador cunha mega de castañas.

Today is Christmas Day, There will be a lot of snow, And the Apalpador will come With a heap of chestnuts.

A is also for:

Anguleru, the jolly eel fisherman of Asturias

Anjanas, the generous, cyclops-slaying fairies of Cantabria

Amerigo, Saint Nicholas’s best-known horse