#chumbology

[chumbology]

louis theroux: hey how's it going

manosphere asshat: oh my god I am so threatened by you. I must now show you how impressive I am by rattling off how much money I make. I do it by exploiting the pain of others and poisoning the next generation. by the way I'm doing some fraud, isnt that neat? Also I beat up a guy, make sure you get that on camera.

louis theroux: but isn't that all... bad?

manoshere asshat: *laughter turns to crying* w-what are y-you a p-p-p-pedo? a j-jewish pedo? *vomits nervously* please tell me you think I'm cool. please please please please please

[chumbology]

Uketsu: Okay what if someone made houses with floorplans so bad they were creepy and drove people insane

Me: Like that's even -- oh my god. That house is so fucked up. Oh no no no no no no no. No. I feel sick. Take it away from me

[chumbology]

throwback to the time my friend group was discussing what super powers they would enjoy having.

Apparently "the ability to project a thin shell around my body that keeps me at a comfortable temperature and means I never have to actually touch anything" and "never having to trim my nails, cut my hair, shower, or deal with bodily functions" were not on the Normal Powers To Have List. Whoops.

[chumbology]

strange buildings spoilers below the cut!

neighbours wife: yes hello lover, lets--- is that a cup tied to a string?

kasahura: yeah I'm gonna talk to my daughter while we do it

neighbours wife: ................wh--

kasahura: this is a dealbreaker

[chumbology]

doing my first LARP this weekend. The group I'm joining is a wonderful batch of queer and unusual people, and I'm not exactly used to that. To be clear, I'm not at all worried about how I'll be treated. However, I'm really worried I might accidentally hurt people's feelings. My regular crowd are all normies, and I have made embarassing mistakes before.

This is not helped by the fact that I look exactly like the kind of person who would barge into this kind of group and offend the shit out of everyone while pretending not to understand why they're mad. I'm a big fat white dude who dresses like a dad. I'm autistic and accidentally make silly mistakes even when dealing with normies, who present a significantly less complex set of social rules.

There should be some big yellow hat I can wear or something, that just says "I can't remember people's names, let alone your pronouns. Please don't be mad at me, I'm trying my best. I only look like your racist uncle"

[chumbology]

if you want to have a lot of fun ragebaiting people, simply go to any forum that is even remotely related to the concept of home ownership (includes diy, home decorating, and financial forums) and then treat your home like it's a place to live rather than a product to be flipped in a few years time.

something as innocuous as "hey look I painted this room purple because I like purple" will have them falling over themselves to yell at you that you Shouldn't Do That because it'll Lower The Value of the House and other made up bullshit.

"nobody will buy that!" well good because I'm not fucking selling bitch back off

[chumbology]

ive been showering a lot because I've been real stinky lately. turns out the smell I don't like is my shower gel

[chumbology]

I had a dream where someone was cleaning a picture frame with the wrong tools and they just couldn't stop leaving streaks. So eventually they left some purposeful streaks and just pretended they liked it because it was "artsy" and "added depth"

In the dream I started screaming "microfiber cloth and windex! All you need is a microfiber cloth and windex! If you don't have a microfiber cloth crumbled up newspaper will do! It looks like your toddler rubbed their greasy little hands on it after messily eating lasagna! MICROFIBER CLOTH AND WINDEX" and I got so mad I woke up