#ciel's thoughts

[girasolcit0]

me llamo como un perfume e irónicamente nunca lo usé.

Cuando veo tu nombre pienso en

.

my final form: agüita

(este es el perfume btw)

[girasolcit0]

mis pobres moomtuals ahora me tienen que bancar hablando solamente del margus perdón chicos pero 💗ellos💗 viven en mi mente rent free

[girasolcit0]

the uncontrollable urge to create MUSIC !!!!!!!! nfggnfhdjf

[chronos-caelestinum]

-> a friend of the system jokingly refers to me as bocchan in conversation

-> an almost surreal sense of validation from having my source recognized and affirmed as a part of my identity by someone external

-> ...and then instantly annoyed at myself for even noticing it at all

[chronos-caelestinum]

It truly is always either illness or insomnia for me, isn't it? How frustrating. Two or three hours of lingering between wakefulness and dreams has my mood quite sour, predictably enough. I managed no more than that, despite the exhaustion wearing me down to bone.

[chronos-caelestinum]

The brain seemingly enjoys throwing me into front whenever we are sick, apparently. The fever isn't going down either, frustratingly enough.

[girasolcit0]

if I was a fairy I'd still be depressed probably

[chronos-caelestinum]

I'll keep this short since I will most likely not post in these tags much, if at all (beyond this, that is)

I'm a Ciel Phantomhive (O!Ciel) introject/fictive in a 25y old DID system. I formed most likely because the system can relate to Ciel's past traumas in various ways, or something, I'd imagine. In any case, if there are people with a shared source out there, feel free to have a look at the aesthetics I post, message me, or something. The system hasn't actively kept up with Kuroshitsuji, but has a general idea of the plot, I believe, but me being fairly source-divergent, hopefully positively so, is basically guaranteed at this point. Also, my own pseudomemories are more based on the manga than anime (basically, Alois never even existed for me).

I don't have a particular dni, aside from the fact that I'd rather avoid doubles, r!Ciel and Alois for the time being (at least until I feel more detached from my source and/or more used to existing). All in all, just do not treat me weirdly. Introject or not, I'd still like to be seen as a person first, not as a "character". I'm neutral on most topics such as shipping, mostly because I don't have the energy to care or form an opinion of my own on what others do at the moment- I'd rather just not think about it anyway right now, adapting to the system and everything else is enough of a headache on its own.

The system is bodily 25, so I'd prefer nobody under 18 interacts with me. That's all, I think. As I said, I mostly post aesthetics and occasional personal rambles on this blog (Sideblog, so I cannot follow back, unfortunately). Fictionkin are free to interact, but avoid treating me as though I am the literal, actual character "Ciel" instead of actually getting to know me as a person. There's more about me on my about page on tumblr, if you want to know.