#cierrajaye

[missthrilla]

perfect hair day.

[missthrilla]

I want to protect you. Hide you. Keep you all to myself. Finding you, having you in any capacity at all, has been a blessing to my life. I don’t want anything, anyone to ruin this. So I’ll keep you tucked away. Inside of our little world. Sewn into the fabric of my heart. Because if it’s up to me, nothing is breaking this and you’re safe right here.

[missthrilla]

I looked so good today.

[missthrilla]

This. No phones (except to capture memories.) And f*cking endlessly the entire weekend until the windows start to sweat. 🤍

[missthrilla]

my sweet girl•

you are the romance you give on a Sunday morning. you are the warm kiss laid on a collarbone and shoulder blade. you are the ease of a stroll taken to enjoy the sight of Fall’s trees, and the scent of sweetness from the stove after an already full belly.

you are the joy of Christmas morning.

and the cheer of someone’s favorite surprise.

you are the dew before sunrise, the calm during night fall. you are the diamond; and the rough.

you are light on the gloomiest, dreariest days and the grace that a smile to a stranger brings. you are as complex as a determined mind crippled by a million thoughts trying to align themselves to their own solutions.

you are both mountain, and valley. you are the river, and the ocean. you are softness; and frigidness — friction and flow. you are both sureness and contradiction. you are a conundrum and a revelation.

you are a masterpiece and an undone puzzle, all in one. and your beauty is in every detail that exists within you. your world is a planet worth daring to be a part of and a journey worth sacrificing for. oh, my sweet girl. what a treasure you are.

[missthrilla]

this year, I decided to be very honest with myself. I know that I want something very specific so I intentionally decided to stop flirting around with anything less. I have become insanely stubborn about what I want and what I deserve and I’m just glad I’ve finally arrived here.

[missthrilla]

I have a new saying that I tell myself. Even when I feel like I’m falling short. It allows me to give myself grace. It’s simply:

“You’re good at the things that matter most.”

Although imperfect, I do the things that matter most: well. And to the very best of my ability. I show up. I come clean. I apologize in spite of my pride. I take steps forward, despite the difficulty, because strides matter. They make a difference in the long run. I prioritize making sure elders maintain their dignity. I take a moment to sit in decisions that require less of me and more of a positive heart posture. Honing my self-awareness remains at the top of my life’s task list. I’ve worked at this, slowly and steadily and the progress may seem stagnant sometimes. But, I remind myself to stay present. Discomfort included. It shapes, it transforms and it strengthens areas far beyond the intended effort. And most importantly, I make sure I’m always aware that I’m proud of myself for doing this.

I am good at the parts that matter the most.

[missthrilla]

I calmed my nervous system today by hand-making magnets for my fridge. 🙂‍↔️🫐😋