After a long few months putting his life back together following the loss of his dad, Keith had finally decided he was ready to handle the stressors of being a student once more, even if it meant he had forever been thrown off his proper track for a four year graduation. If he had known that Shiro, the only friend he had trusted wholeheartedly with every gritty detail of the last few months, was planning to up and leave the school, well, then maybe he would have rethought the decision to even return.
My contribution to the @sheithbigbang! I’m so happy I got to work with such a talented artist! I had so much fun and please go check out the amazing art that @cinnamonrollusagi made!
FINALLY, ITS HAPPENED. leave it to me to post this the day its finally due!
i must have ran through six or seven drafts of various usamamo scenarios in my head before FINALLY deciding on this one to flesh out and write! so here’s to @cinnamonrollusagi my V-Day exchange recipient!! i hope you enjoy this!
also, a big shout out to @idesofnovember for organizing this! much love to you!! <3
In the days after their return to Earth, Mamoru could not help but to keep close to her side.
He'd come so unbelievably close to losing her... In fact, he had lost her, for only a few moments she'd been gone from this world... Revived only by Fiore's sacrifice. But those moments had felt like an eternity. He had truly thought she would never again open those beautiful blue eyes, that she would never smile at him or even speak his name as sweetly as she always did. The near loss of her had changed him- had changed the way he looked at the world, at his life, at his relationship with her. To think she'd nearly left him for good... No, he wouldn't think about it. He couldn't think about a life without her. There was no life without Usagi, after all.
Across from him she slept, tucked beneath the covers of his own bed, her golden hair spread out beneath her head like a crown. He had to fight every urge within him from reaching for her, longing to feel her skin against his own. She looked so perfect there in his bed that Mamoru could hardly stand it and so he finally caved, reaching out to tenderly brush a lock of hair from off her forehead. He had always vowed to take care of her, to protect her from harm... And yet, how could he protect her when the thing that hurt her the most was the only thing that could protect the entire world? Her use of the ginzuishou... it was amazing to watch yes, but that crystal was like a double edged sword. While its use could save lives, it was only at the cost of her own. Miracles had happened these last few times, but what if the next time... What if the next time there was no miracle?
Mamoru closed his eyes, fighting away the dark images rushing through his mind. She was alive and she was well, that should have been enough for him. But Mamoru knew... He knew that destiny would call again someday and she would put her life on the line to ensure the safety of those she loved most in this world. How many times would he have to endure the sickening feeling of watching her, knowing there was nothing he could do to protect her? He had no power to protect her with, nothing to offer her in their battles with monsters and aliens. He squeezed his hands into fists, drawing back from her sleeping form, hating himself for his weakness.
If only he was stronger... maybe then he could truly protect her from ever having to fight again.
Usagi was stirring then, perhaps wakened from her slumber by a dream, or perhaps because she was so incredibly attuned to his needs that she just knew... She just knew he needed her. Brilliantly blue eyes fluttered open and caught his own gaze, their sleepy stare awakening a tender feeling in his heart. "Mamo-chan...?" She spoke through a yawn, stretching out her tired limbs as she sat up in bed, her eyes focusing upon him. "Can't you sleep?" Her question was followed by a small smile, by a gentle touch of her hand to his. He met her gaze and found he could not speak and instead he shook his head, turning away from her as he closed his eyes. That was when he felt it, the warmth of her body as she scooted closer to him, the feel of her arms as they slid into place around him. "Tell me..." She whispered as she lay her head against his shoulder, blue eyes looking up at him with concern in their depths.
"I was so scared..." He finally admitted, his words so soft that she had to strain to hear them. "I thought... I thought I was going to lose you." That was when Usagi realized what he was speaking of. It had only been a few days since their return from space, where she'd nearly lost her own life in her effort to save both her friends and the earth itself. She could still yet recall the feeling of the ginzuishou between her palms, its warm, pure light guiding her heart through what had to be done. And she could still yet remember the moment she realized it was about to break; so much power had been coursing through her, through the crystal, and she had felt its strain upon her very soul. Such a strain that had proven to be far too much and it had shattered, thus ending her life. Or, should have ended her life, that was, for here she was, very much alive.
Sitting up, Usagi reached out, her palm tenderly cupping Mamoru's cheek, drawing him in to look at her fully. When their eyes met she slid her other hand into place, gripping his face between her palms, her heart hammering hard within her chest. Of course he had been frightened, of course he had been scarred after she'd almost died... But that was her place now, wasn't it? She was Sailor Moon, she was the future queen of the world... The fate of the world was in her hands... Forever. Though she once might have fought hard against fate and destiny, she'd come to accept it now that she knew other lives were at stake. Besides, she knew she could do anything with her loved ones at her side. And that was why she no longer feared the future. Fighting still frightened her and she would have given up anything in this world to end it for good, but that was not possible... And so she had no other choice but to accept the hand she'd been dealt. "I'm sorry Mamo-chan, for worrying you..." She murmured, sliding her right hand further up into his soft, black hair, a small smile toying with her lips as she tangled her fingers through it. "I was scared too," she went on to admit, features growing solemn, sapphire eyes closing for a long moment. "I thought I was going to lose you. And everyone else, too." She opened her eyes and met his gaze, a somber look reflected in their depths. "I couldn't let anything happen to any of you."
No, of course she couldn't.
Such an answer was so like her that Mamoru could not help but to chuckle, drawing her close to his chest, relishing in the feel of her in his arms. Everything he loved... In an instant it had almost vanished and in any other moment, it could all be stolen from him. "I know..." He finally said, pulling back to look her in the eyes, hands settled into place upon her shoulders. "I just wish I was stronger... So I could protect you." And there it was- that old insecurity he could never escape, that feeling of inadequacy, of knowing he could never compare to the strong girls she had at her side. He could never offer her what they could. When it came down to it, he was useless in battle. Next time there might be no miracle, next time... It might truly be the end. How could he ever live with himself, if that was the case? "Next time, I want to be able to fight for you. But I'm not like you and the others... I can't do anything to protect you from harm!" He pulled completely away from her then, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, head bowed and eyes closed. He couldn't even stand to look her in the eyes, this girl he loved with all of his heart.
"Oh, Mamo-chan..." Usagi's cheerful voice broke into his mind a moment before he felt her arms slide around his shoulders. Mamoru turned his head to face her, arching a brow at the sight of her smile. "Don't you know... Just having you at my side makes me stronger." She could recall every ounce of strength he'd ever given her, could remember every single moment that he had made her believe in herself. "It's because of you and the girls that I fight. I'm stronger when I have someone to protect." Her simple words were soft and full of reassurance, her blue eyes shining in the light of the moon that spilled in through the curtains. "Just having you beside me is enough, Mamo-chan." She didn't need him to fight her battles or even protect her, she just needed him there at her side. She only needed to hear him softly call out to her, to feel the warmth of his skin through his snow white gloves.
Something warm was spreading through him and Mamoru turned into her, drawing her down onto the bed until they were a tangle of limbs and blankets. "I love you, Usako..." He whispered against the shell of her ear, the sound of her giggle bringing a smile to his face. And then for a moment it was as if he could see the future- gone were her signature golden locks, replaced by silver strands that ran through his fingers like silk. Those blue eyes were the same, perhaps wiser, but as radiant as they always had been. He could see her in that moment, cradling something small and wrapped in pink to her chest, and Mamoru knew he was catching a glimpse of the future. Of their future.
"Mamo-chan...?"
Her voice brought him back and he touched a strand of golden hair, a smile coming to his lips as he drank in the sight of her. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, nothing he would not give her. But... If nothing else, he would always remain there at her side. Of all the things he could offer her, it would always be love, it would always be support. She was more than his past, more than his present, and even more than his future. She was his everything.
Strawberry, blueberry lemon, and black cherry! -cinnamonrollusagi :-)
thank you for asking~
STRAWBERRY: a language you wish you could speak?
Probably either French or Japanese, bc I spent a lot of my life learning French but the UK education system is shite so I never got anywhere near fluent despite having learned the language for abt 12 years and being top of my class at the end of my education ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also Japanese for obvious weeb reasons like not having to read subtitles or wait for things to be translated
BLUEBERRY LEMON: favorite blogs?
oh boy I have a lot of favourite blogs. I made a blog rec post a few weeks ago which is a list of most of them, but I don’t think I could ever list them all bc I always forget a few
