#citricac1d

[alexenglish]

@citricac1d look at you 😌

[alexenglish]

(My heart is layers of scar.)

Niall/Harry, past Zayn/Harry, 1.7k

[alexenglish]

I got an anon in my ask about from the dining table, and since it’s been months since @clarz​​ wanted me to talk about it, and @citricac1d​​ has been wildly anticipating this– here’s my zarry lyrical analysis where I’m way too serious about my interpretations.

uh warning for discussions of infidelity since this is def my incredibly elaborate headcanon for if zarry were involved at any point between… meeting and present day, and you know z/p…

anyway. to start, I personally sort the pink album like so:

sott gender neutral, uh very… metaphorical, ???

carolina, only angel, kiwi, woman stylistically and thematically similar-ish. hardest hitting songs, gendered, overall more sexual than emotional.

two ghosts gender acknowledgement, about a past love, emotional aw.

sweet creature gender neutral, could be about any kind of relationship: platonic or romantic or familial. feels nostalgic.

mmith, esny, ftdt stylistically and thematically similar. gender neutral, v emotionally charged.

the last category is where I’ma be focusing most of my energy for this analysis since ftdt is the spark here. imo, these three songs can be composed into a sort of short story where mmith is the before, esny is the during, and ftdt is the after.

mmith is a great song to analyze. it’s not about being in a satisfying relationship of any kind. I like the idea of the hallway being a literal metaphor– about hotel hallways, but also about the fact that hallways are transitional, always coming or going but never staying. the song is a little desperate, implying that you’d do anything for this person to acknowledge you in whatever capacity that they’re willing to.

Just let me know I’ll be at the door, at the door Hoping you’ll come around Just let me know I’ll be on the floor, on the floor Maybe we’ll work it out

it’s interesting to apply this a maybe-zayn situation. if the hallway is a metaphor for a relationship, it’s a situation you can’t stay in. if zayn and harry were involved, then it would have coincided with z/p’s engagement. zarry is the relationship that comes and goes, but never stays. the staying relationship is years long, engaged…

the repetition of I gotta get better is a good point to make here if harry’s the ‘side chick’ there’s always this idea that you have to be better, you can’t keep running back, you can’t keep waiting around in this situation that’s neither here nor there.

obviously I know nothing about interpersonal relationships here, but thematically, that idea coincides with the song harry wrote for ariana grande just a little bit of your heart– a song very obviously about being involved with and wanting more from a person who already has someone else.

And nothing’s ever easy / That’s what they say  I know I’m not your only / But I’ll still be a fool Cause I’m a fool for you 

a song that’s lyrically mirrored by zayn’s own song fool for you.

I know, I know given a chance I’d do it again / ‘Cause I can’t help myself ‘Cause I can’t stop myself / I just love being a fool for you

which is pretty much flip side of the story harry seems to be telling, if you pay attention to the lyrics. they’re both about wanting someone you can’t have, but if jalboyh is I can’t have you and ffy is I shouldn’t have you.

mmith ends with the verse

We don’t talk about it / It’s something we don’t do ‘Cause once you go without it / Nothing else will do

which mirrors the lyric in zayn’s I won’t mind

The one thing we said we could never ever Live without, I’m not allowed to talk about it

esny strikes me as a middle ground– towards the end, really, which makes sense with the set up of the album: track 01, track 08, and track 10. a conversation keeps being had, this is the point of exhaustion. it’s about someone leaving, about finding out someone’s leaving. it’s not a surprise, but it hurts. this is the decrescendo. they saw it coming, they didn’t do anything to stop it.

I made a post about how esny sounded a bit angry live, but the album version sounds far sadder and more wistful. I think that could be an important little note if you’re implying any of these songs are about zayn.

then of course, there’s from the dining table. I think the lyrics kind of speak for themselves, but obviously it’s about someone who had emotional importance being gone. it’s about missing that person, it still has that bitter sadness esny instilled but it’s even more depressed.

it’s edging towards that desperation from mmith. esny was resigned, but ftdt is a resurgence of why not me? what am I doing wrong? what can be changed about this situation.

the transition between mmith to ftdt on the the album is nearly seamless– when you get to the end, you end up right back at the beginning. this cycle of desperation and resignation is inescapable.

obviously all of these songs are gender neutral. I did a lyrical analysis of mind of mine at one point last year and some of the more emotionally charged songs are gender neutral it’s you, fool for you, like I would, drunk.

with it’s you, the opening verse implies there’s another person involved, but it doesn’t matter, because ‘you’ are the one. or The One, whichever way you look at it. it implies the relationship is dysfunctional, but that fixation is still there. it’s almost apologetic, but there’s that discontentment throughout. 

which makes it very, very thematically similar to mmith. the contrast between what you want, and what you know is good for you.

Give me some more / Just take the pain away 

it’s not this other person, but it is. you want to be better, but you can’t let them go. 

Am I wrong for wanting us to make it? Tell me your lies / Because I just can’t face it

also great to note that zayn’s video for it’s you has a moment that mirrors harry’s in the video for perfect:

it’s part of the writing process, I guess.

I don’t have much to say about like I would, but I like this lyric parallel between one of the lines and a line in esny:

Been thinkin’ it over, but I’m through /  Almost over, had enough from you

drunk’s interesting to me because it’s like, a summer song and a song about being really into this person, but a sense of hiding 

Run away now / Like we’re supposed to do Take you to the back now / I take a shot for you Wasted every night / Gone for every song

and restraint

Right now I’m emotional I lose control, when I’m with you I hope I haven’t said too much Guess I always push my luck when I’m with you

throughout– which fits thematically with fool for you:

I just can’t resist it / I know sometimes I hide it / But I can’t this time

and it’s def interesting that harry’s music has this overarching theme about lack of communication while zayn’s music has lines like ‘so my silence won’t be mistaken for peace’ (it’s you) and ‘talking ‘bout it’s not my style’ (like I would). 

then, there’s a lyric in lucozade that’s also interesting and can definitely be interpreted in an infidelity/love triangle way

It takes two not three, but I’m here any way

and it goes on to call someone’s perfume an elephant in a room– which I feel… implies Things. 

anyway, that’s kinda my run down. I’m sure there’s even more, but it’s been two hours and I’m drowning in my emotions. the coincidences are astounding. the ability to relate their lyrics is far too easy. basically zarry are… having a conversation. telling the same stories from different perspectives…

zarry is… wow. hm.

[notafraidof]

my understanding of 1d thus far

2010: foetuses literal infants actual newborn babies

2011: toddlers startin to get themselves around places and getting to know the people they’re talking to/about

2012: elementary school kids, clean-cut and adorable; they know how to get people to do things and play it up (so they get more cookies after dinner lmao)

2013: middle school ~rebellious phase, trying on different personas and outfits than their Good Boy stuff to see what fits, what feels good

2014: high school boys that are starting to come into themselves, starting to take the stuff they’ve absorbed and make their own decisions

2015: college underclassmen - they know who they wanna be and are making their way there (as much as they can with their People breathing down their necks lmao)

2016: college upperclassmen, where they are all their Own People and it’s really hard to confuse one from the other (as opposed to 2010 bc All Babies Look the Same)

--in sync with this analogy, their break is them graduating and… not really keeping in touch? bc when you leave one place for another, you get caught up in your new life and responsibilities and sometimes forget to catch up with friends from the Time Before :(

2017: ??? undergrads maybe We Shall See

[wepush]

@muffinmanhoran replied to your post “listen who do i have to bribe and with what to art collab with me on...”

I'd so do it but I don't have a digital program or really talent... but I'll read it and melt happily from it if you write it

PLEASE bee, you are so sweet. and tbh! writing is a teamwork, so support is just as important!!! <33

@citricac1d replied to your post “listen who do i have to bribe and with what to art collab with me on...”

HELLO .........

he...LL.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :OOO

[wepush]

@upforitlouis replied to your post “having a v rough time...”

My brother's in the navy and I haven't seen him in more than a year, but today he walked into my work and completely surprised me...and he's here for a whole week which is amazing.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is AMAZING news i am so so glad for you, hon, goshhh. siblings are so important. i hope you get to have a good meal and chill and enjoy the Siblingness. safe wishes to him <3

@niallerby replied to your post  “having a v rough time...”

i watched niall eat some hummus. it was great. i hope u feel better soon though :-(

i would watch a 5 part series. what has this boy done to us all. and thank you, dovey <33

@carlyraejepsun replied to your post “having a v rough time...”

had a nice lunch today w a girl who im sorta becoming friends with! its nice getting to know someone new. its my first year of college and i havent been able to connect w a lot of people here yet, so its a really nice feeling to think that maybe now ill have a friend :))

aHHH!! friends are SO COOL. as someone who had this same experience, i am very muchly feeling the warm bloom for you. i hope it goes good and that you continue to attract bumblebees and butterflies, bc you deserve it petal <33

@citricac1d replied to your post  “having a v rough time...”

i hope you feel well soon ��

always looking out, you are yuzu. xo thank u.