Why We Should Mourn the Passing of Citroen South Africa
There’s a wonderful novel written by Robert Louis Stevenson called The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; a book that is teaming with numerous comparisons and connotations designed to transport you into a state of profound contemplation. For those poor souls who haven’t had the opportunity to read such a masterful novel, in essence, the underlining theme depicts a battle between good and evil. A rigid dichotomy between two contrasting behaviors, attitudes and approaches.
Crucially, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is the same person. With Dr. Jekyll being the revered medical professional and Mr. Hyde being the ungodly sinner. To make this easier to understand, think of yourself at work liaising with your clients and then think of yourself knee-deep in tequila at the club, wildly swaying your hips in an attempt to woo the opposite sex. You see my point?
This duality is the perfect summation of the French auto manufacturers as a whole but more particularly – Citroen. In the minds of most patriotic and brand conscience South African consumers, Citroen is Mr. Hyde.
It is very well documented that Citroens are plagued with mind boggling ergonomics, woeful reliability and lackadaisical dealership support; and those who purchased a Citroen were either considered to be a tad looney or simply have more resilience and valor than Mel Gibson in Brave Heart. Maybe all Citroens are manufactured on a Monday morning? Or, maybe they are manufactured on a Friday afternoon? Or, maybe (definitely) that is just a crude justification that may go a long in describing why Citroen’s expiry date is more reminiscent of fresh vegetables rather than canned tuna.
So, if you have never owned a Citroen, or any French car at that, you may be quite perplexed as to how Citroen could be anywhere close to embodying Dr. Jekyll; and your bewilderment is completely justified, because they aren’t. Citroen is neither restrained nor professional. Citroen has never once paged through or even owned a rule book. Citroen can and never will be Dr. Jekyll and this exactly is why they are phenomenal and spectacular.
You get the sense that countless hours of R&D were spent trying to develop a car that perfectly juxtaposes emotional desire with a slight tinge of logical corruption that makes your heart seem like the rational decision maker. This emotional encapsulation is exactly what makes Citroen desirable. It may be their refusal to succumb to the corporate osmosis of boring and numb sensations that plague other automotive conglomerates, or their outright form-over-function-at-all-costs philosophy; they simply transcend the normal convention of how a car should be. They simply do flamboyant and quirky better than anyone else.
This flamboyance and quirkiness is displayed everywhere in their cars like a montage of defiance against the norm; an arbitrary case whereby the sum of the parts is actually greater than the whole. It’s this small detail that you hone in on that induces some form of amnesia, from the way the dials on the DS3 look three dimensional to the way the glove box resembles a suit case in the Cactus. You all of sudden get transported into a world where the issues that cripple Citroens seem so inconsequential.
The culmination of all these minute details in their cars add up to a vehicle that is so vivid, so alive and so different. A power and ability unrivaled by any other manufacturer.
I, for one, will most certainly wait in gleaming anticipation for their return, but for now - Au Revoir, Citroen.