#civilburden

[oldmoranarchived]

callout post for @civilburden ?? wanting to separate ships and send one into war ?? making the other person hurt ?? separating lovers ????? wartime ??? danger ?? the angst is too strong and they need to be dealt with i can’t handle this sebastian can’t handle this we’re dying

[tachiisms]

Exactly how often would you say you and one fellow Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi have wound up together on the training room floors doing things you shouldn't? // takin' u down son. get ready.

@civilburden | for the next five four asks, my muse cannot tell a lie ( accepting )

“ Ah.... well.... I can’t say exactly how    often, but... definitely more than once. ”

                               “ Definitely more than a few times. ”

[tachiisms]

gives a little kiss, deposits a cup of coffee in her hand. 'Merry Christmas, Siri.'

“ Thanks, Ben. ” She returns the kiss with a smile, taking a sip of coffee before remembering she’d gotten him a small , too. “ Oh! Wait, I got you something, too. ” She has to shuffle through her bag on the table to find it before pulling out a slim book. Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations. “ Here. Merry Christmas. ”

[tachiisms]

☎

@civilburden​​ | put ☎ in my ask for your muse’s info in my muse’s phone ( accepting )

NAME: Ben Kenobi

RINGTONE: some love song Ben set his ringtone as just to embarrass her when it goes off at work

PICTURE: see above

LAST TEXT RECEIVED: You know I’m a philosophy professor, why ask if you don’t want a long answer?

LAST TEXT SENT: it was a yes or no question!

[tachiisms]

"Maybe we're destined to do this."

@civilburden | meme ( not accepting )

Siri pulled her eyes from the window as he spoke, looking back over to where Obi-Wan stood, holding the now-sleeping child — their child, their daughter — in his arms. She didn’t answer for a long minute, eyes resting on Jinn, how peaceful she looked in her father’s arms, the dampness of tears still on her fat little cheeks, her little breaths still shaky, though they were settling now. Destined to do what, be parents? Maybe he was. Siri hadn’t been able to do a thing to get her to stop crying. ( She’d even been tempted to start crying herself. ) As she watched, Obi-Wan gently cradled Jinn in one arm, lifting his other hand to dab the last of her tears away with the cuff of his tunic.

She looked away.

He’d left the decision up to her, as much as she didn’t want to have to make it herself. Just looking at him, she knew what he wanted. And, selfishly, she wasn’t sure if it was what she wanted. ( It should be what she wanted. But… Siri didn’t know if it truly was. )

There was still time, they didn’t need to give the Council their decision yet. But with each passing day, Siri was more and more certain that they were only growing more divided in what it was they each wanted to choose. Their love had been given an exception from the normal rules of the Order. But the rules about training would not be changed. They could give their daughter to the custody of the Order, to be trained as a Jedi, as they both had been. Give up their parental rights over her, just as their own parents had given them up. As all Jedi had been given up by their parents. Or they could keep her as their own, and resign from the Order.

She looked back over at Obi-Wan and Jinn, catching his smile as Jinn cooed in her sleep and squirmed, nestling closer against him. “ I don’t know what we’re destined to do now… what we’re supposed to do. ”

That’s why I’m asking you, please, tell me what you want.

[tachiisms]

what if you had left the order with obi-wan?

@bellassan​ | send my muse “what if...?” questions ( accepting )

Her face softened contemplatively, taking a moment’s pause before musing, “ I don’t know. ” It wasn’t a question she had allowed herself to spend much time considering. Or at least, she had tried very hard not to let herself spend much time considering it. She and Obi-Wan had been so young when they’d made that decision together, when he’d held her in his arms and they’d agreed to let each other go.

But… she did look back on her decisions, that one included. She had not forgotten, despite making him promise never to remind her. She had not forgotten the feel of his arms around her waist in that moment, the feel of his breath by her ear, nor the way their fingers had locked together as though they’d been made for one another when they’d clasped hands. Nor had she forgotten the agony of her heartbreak, the way she had been the one to run from him in the precarious moment just after they’d sworn to give each other up, when all she had wanted was to fold herself back into his arms and take it back, when she had so strongly sensed that he, too, wanted that moment never to end. She hadn’t forgotten the way she’d run the whole way back to her quarters before allowing any of the tears to fall that had threatened to choke her until she let them out.

What if she had left the Order with Obi-Wan? Would she ( would he — would they ) be happy? They would have found a planet to call home together, but would they have found something to do with their talents and skills, outside of the Order? Would they have gotten bored of civilian life? ( Would they have come to resent each other for the way they love had brought them to a life of boredom? No, no, that would not have happened, that, she was sure of. Their love was stronger than that; it had to be, to have lasted this long even while actively denying their feelings and refusing to acknowledge them or act on them. )

Dare she wonder if they would have had a family together? A true family, like the sort that neither of them had ever known, only knowing the Order as their family when they were young. ( Would they even have known how to be a family? How to be parents? )

She shook off the thoughts.

“ I don’t know, ” she repeated quietly, almost as a sigh. “ I don’t regret the life I’ve lived. But… I don’t know. I don’t know what would have happened or where we’d be. ”

[leksakom]

@civilburden ♥’d for a lyric starter

// e.v.p. -- blood orange 

❛                  or does it  feel  better  to be alone?   ❜

[tachiisms]

civilburden replied to your post:"you're dating obi-wan, aren't you?"

‘the code’. good cover, siri. good cover.

it’s a plausible cover okay.