#cjones

[andreburakovsky]

caleb jones pre-game

     edm v. tbl | 2.13.20

[kat-scratch--fever]

Text: Katrina & Cash

Katrina: I think my sister is heading to your sister's place...which also happens to be your place. I've got a coupon for an extra large double pepperoni pizza which I cannot eat by myself and Harper's not home yet. Hungry?

[scaronhiatus]

I'm having a hard time dealing with my triggers at school. I'm constantly telling others not to hug me from behind, touch me without permission or in a few people's cases touch my hair. They refuse to listen to me, and the teachers are no help. My grades are suffering because people believe that they can ignore my boundaries, and I don't know what to do anymore. Is there away to make them listen to me? If possible please tag "cjones".

Dear anon,

You’ve said you’ve tried talking. More than once. You’ve said you’ve tried telling the teachers. You’ve done well! I used to be really shy and I’d let things happen. 

If your wellbeing is at stake and people aren’t taking you seriously - it’s ok to be more forceful about it. You don’t have to tell people quietly and in private. You can yell it at the top of your voice, get angry, stand up in your chair and tell this person not to do this thing. And if people look at you funny - who cares? Make a fuss, because nothing less than a fuss will work. And this? This is self-defence.

When I get hit on in spaces where it’s inappropriate to hit on people, I am the iciest, unfriendliest person. I’m rude, snappy, loud and brazen. Because no one interferes with my time and my space without my say-so.

It’s not a bad thing to assert your own space. How would someone with a broken leg feel if people were constantly poking it and tapping on the cast? 

Given that you’ve already told your teachers, you have a little bit of wiggle room if you get disciplined for it. Lay down everything you’ve done to try to stop other people from invading your personal space. Even better - write it all down. “On x date, x person did x thing and I told them x.” Especially the stuff about the teachers, and what they said/did/didn’t say or do. If your grades have suffered? Draw a connection between other people’s behaviour and your grades. Throw everything you’ve said to us back at them because it’s their problem, not yours. 

And if you really can’t do it - that’s ok. It’s not for everyone, especially in an already hostile environment. You do anything you want to protect yourself and make yourself feel safe. You can wear a hat all the time to cover your hair, or always sit in the back of the class, or eat lunch alone. Protecting yourself is ok. I promise. Getting harassed is not your fault.

Please try to take care of yourself.

xx Pearl