#claire rambles

[notmrskennedy]

my dog’s newest passion is ✨lick mom 💖 stand on mom 🌸 stare at mom✨

[icewolfie]

idk who messaged me on pokefarms because your whole account is just skiddo but yeah i made one today lol. like 10 minutes before you sent that

[clairewritesandrambles]

HELLO TUMBLR!!

I am indeed alive. Life kept me busy, blah blah blah, excuses excuses.

Anyways, last week several tornadoes touched down within a 30 minute radius of me. So of course, I did the sensible thing.

I rewatched Twisters.

And I remembered how fucking HOT Scott is.

Long story short: New fics coming soon.

Welcome back, everybody.

[notmrskennedy]

zoo keeping tales pt Busy Season = Stupid Questions

some guy: hey do you work here?

me, in a rain coat that makes me look like the fish stick man pulling a wheelbarrow of elk shit: I sure hope I do

him: so how did the bear stack those rocks (tiny rocks, stacked very precisely) right there?? can bears do that?

me: sir, I’m pretty sure our keepers did that and he just hasn’t knocked it over

—

some boy, maybe 16, probably younger idk: your cougars are so cute you must domesticate them right?

me: uhhhh well that’s not how this works —

him: my girlfriend friendzoned me today. she thinks we’re growing apart.

me: ………… that’s …… too bad.

—

lots of kids, maybe middle school, all at once: DO YOU PET THE PORCUPINES

me, being sniffed down by said porc, trying not to catch a stray quill: uhhh no. I like not being stabbed.

the kids: OH SO DO YOU TOUCH THE PORCUPINE THEN?

me, glad I’m not a teacher: uh still no.

[icewolfie]

commission i got from @potato-lord-but-not feat. alice tmagp and john malevolent! for an rp server :)

[notmrskennedy]

why im a viable candidate for a good husband:

1) can pitchfork

2) is being very brave about the dust in my shoes

3) suffered thru cleaning bird poop off everything & onto myself. would do again. for the birds.

4) does laundry

[notmrskennedy]

dude she’s such a fucking asshole bro

[notmrskennedy]

ugh I just want to put out a list of all the nonfiction books I’ve read this year so I can find someone to YAP with. Cheese and crackers some of this science is NUTS and I can’t just be quiet about it!!

like!! this book on pests… did y’all know there’s a temple out there that worships rats & believes every rat is a reincarnated man waiting to get back home after his rat life? I sure didn’t!! how cool!!