Mar 12
i love him and his yearning bottom eyes
seen from Philippines
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i love him and his yearning bottom eyes
why arent there any cookie king x reader or cookie king x clav fics on here HELLO????? pls im gonna die someone write a cookie king fic im begging ill do anything
poor baby clav ruined his pretty face omgod the way you can see that all of his confidence is visibly gone now in every picture with his new botched nose oh my goddd i feel so awful for him, he makes me feel so insanely maternal like you know this is making him wanna khs, im gonna tear up ugh bless that poor boys heart 😭💔💔💔
A Thousand Unseen Cuts // Clavookie
TW: self harm
Braden stared down at the double edged razor sitting on his bedside table, a blank expression on his face. There were a lot of thoughts running through his mind, a complete whirlwind of emotions. It didn’t matter how much looksmaxxing he did, he was still the same insecure boy that spent his days scrolling on .org.
There were a few scars on his thighs, nothing really noticeable, the women he slept with never mentioned them because he always made sure to turn the lights down low. But the worst of it was on his upper arm. He used to film gym content, but now he made sure to always have sleeves covering that small portion near his shoulder, rather than showing off his physique half naked in a mirror.
He never took his shirt off during sex anymore. Half of him regretted what he’d done, spending time every time he took a shower staring at them in the mirror. They itched quite a lot, it was rough when he and his friends would be doing a stream and he’d suddenly start scratching at his arm like a lunatic.
The decision was made. Braden picked up the razor, it was a new one, his older one had gotten too dull which was really a nuisance. He thought back to his childhood, before he’d learned about the blackpill, before he’d discovered that stupid looksmaxxing forum that changed his life. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, as he dragged the blade from his wrist, all the way to the end of his forearm, in a quick motion.
The layers of his skin peeled back, blood beginning to trickle out the insicion he’d just made. It wasn’t deep enough. Biting down on his lip, he multi-swiped, his layer of fat now visible. Braden cursed to himself underneath his breath upon realizing that he had hit a vein, blood quickly pooled in the cut and trickled down his arm, dripping messily over his bed.
Strong feelings of paranoia washed over him when it hit him that a bandaid wouldn’t fix this mess. His heart rate anxiously sped up.
What if somebody came in?
I don’t know how to handle a cut this big.
Braden held his hand over it as best as he could, putting pressure on it, blood staining the palm of his hand and his legs. He then tried to hold the pieces of skin back together, but it didn’t do much at all.
Inside his pocket, his phone began to vibrate, indicating that someone was calling him. Braden wiped his hand on his bed and pulled it out, trembling. It was Cookie.
He stared at the caller ID for a moment as it continued to ring, the cut continuing to make a mess everywhere. He answered.
“Cookie?” Braden’s voice unintentionally sounded all shaky.
“Clav, do you wanna go walk around Miami tonight? Holy Dexter reference. But me and Kay are in the city, he just has some shit to do tonight.”
Braden felt awful saying no, but what was he supposed to do? That fear was evident, because if he didn’t get medical attention he could very well pass out, or worse. He didn’t even want to think about the giant, noticeable scar it would leave.
There was silence for a few moments.
“Clav?”
He couldn’t stay silent forever. Braden loved Cookie, and he trusted him, but he had never opened up about the cutting, and he didn’t want to have to make it his problem.
“Cookie, I kind of fucked up and I don’t know what to do right now.”
“Well, what happened?”
Braden paused again before he finally responded,
“I cut myself. Like… deep. I don’t know what to do, I think I hit a vein.”
“Oh, God, Braden, where are you right now?”
Concern filled his tone, and Braden explained that he was just at his house. Cookie began to insist that he was going to come over and take him to a hospital. Braden didn’t exactly want to go to a hospital, but he didn’t have much of a choice here.
——————————
“Braden, are you okay? I’m here now, just hang on for a sec, I’ll clean you up a little bit.” Cookie was kneeling in front of his sitting boyfriend, in between his legs as he started to unravel some gauze.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this, I’m so cooked.” Braden sighed as Cookie began to wrap up his forearm with the gauze tightly. The blood immediately began to soak through, it wasn’t much of a difference, but he was just trying to help soak up some of the blood before they left.
“I love you, don’t apologize to me, I’m here for you.” Cookie looked up into the other man’s eyes, his gaze full of compassion. He finished bandaging Clav up and then kissed his forearm gently, standing up, towering over him. Braden looked up at Cookie, who placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing his thumb on it, lovingly looking down at his teary-eyed boyfriend. Kissing his forehead, he helped him up to his feet. Braden definitely felt a bit woozy but he could walk.
Braden hated his scars, and he hated the fact that he’d just done this to himself. As if Cookie could read his mind, he said, “I love every part of you, Braden; so much.” As they drove to the hospital, barely hanging onto consciousness, memories of Cookie flashed in his mind, it was peaceful, calmed him down in the midst of this storm.
To say Cookie was relieved as they stitched Braden up would be an understatement, the nurse had informed him that the cut could have done a lot more damage if he hadn’t been brought here in time.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Cookie gently stroked Braden’s hair in the hospital room, the two of them alone in the room as they gazed into each other’s eyes. “Can I just ask… why did you do it?”
Braden didn’t want to cry again, he already felt vulnerable enough tonight. “Um…. It just…. It takes the pain away… y’know?” His voice cracked a bit, he couldn’t stop thinking about his childhood and wondering how he ended up like this; the drugs, the paranoia, the self harm… Nobody would ever really understand him. But there was somebody that even if they didn’t understand, they didn’t judge, and that person was sitting next to him.
“I love you, Demir.” He spoke, smiling a bit.
“I love you too, Braden.”
kinda need him like so bad oh my days like AUGHHHHH
RIP Francis Dolarhyde you would’ve loved looksmaxxing
Have not been keeping up with Nick, but JESUS CHRIST he wants Clav so bad.
“braden you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me” ..
staring down, cookie scoffing into his phone screen, 2am in the fucking morning, to see dearest clavicular once again kissing on another girl in his stream, like he hasn’t been warning him about how clav might just catch herpes any minute now.
the feeling of pure annoyance and irritation flushes his stomach and the phone goes flopping onto his pillow.
“fuck this shit”
cookie groans into his pillow annoyed, mad, irritated quite literally all of the above in the negatives. why can’t he stop whoring around? why can’t he just be fucking normal? he’s letting the fame get to him. fucking psycho.. why can’t he start paying his attention back to me..
cookie grabs his phone back up to his face once again
they were friends and even best at that, until this stupid glory of a reputation got to the rest of him. after all the talks about his past, the peptides they’ve injected into each other, the streams they’ve planned… and that one night. that one stupid night.
did that actually mean nothing to that heartless fuck?
opening up the photos app running his fingers throughout the locked album, he hesitates.
“Cope”
was the title. he genuinely cannot get himself to press it.
“fuck sakes”
he finally scrolls throughout all the pictures in the album, all the stupid ones with the silly snap filters, all the domestic selfies with just them both. And all the explicit ones..of that one night they’ve shared last year. drunk and high, exploring.. and fucking hard.
He keeps scrolling, just a little slower now, thumb trembling like it’s cussing at him to stop. The pictures, Clav’s 6inch veiny cock in the frame with his phone right next to it trying to measure how lengthy he was.
only to be met with cookie’s monstrous eight inchy right on the other side towering over his cock.
One video from the top angle. Cookie’s pounding the shit out of clav, backshots and all. His cock soaking into Clav like it was meant to shape his Ass, like it meant to tame it. Each echo of slaps could be heard throughout the video, even echoed throughout his whole room..
"fuckkk demir im gonna ngh-"
"no, come with me, don’t leave me hanging. don’t come till i tell you to."
"shit i can’t-"
"you can."
That was before the streams blew up. Before the peptides turned Clav into this egotistical untouchable thing who barely texts back anymore.
Cookie’s breath hitches. His free hand is already stroking himself through his shorts, cock thickening fairly fast just from the sight of his dick buried deep into clav. the way it stretched him open, the little string of pre connecting their bodies when Clav inched away desperately in the video, just for cookie to drag him back sinking clav into his cock. He remembers how it felt, hot, thick, tight. Amazing. Clav whispering filthy tunes just faintly loud enough to hear if the room was fully quiet “you’re fucking me so good- shit demir.”
“yea? next time you can ride me if you take it all.”
He shoves his shorts down just enough, wraps his hand around his leaking thick cock, and starts stroking slow at first, matching the rhythm he remembers Clav’s mouth using when he sucked his cock for the first time ever. Teasing. Torturing. Slow. Struggling.
“You fucking asshole,” cookie gasps low lidded eyes stuck to the screen. “You don’t get to just… leave. After that. After us.”
cookie knew clav would live this down. acting like the emotionless bitch he was.. well.. not so much while he was getting fucked, but.
Cookie wouldn’t. He’d never live whatever happened that night down. That’s why he made sure to film, to have some sort of closure that they were definitely more than just some friends.
He angles the phone so the glow lights up his face, stares at the last video of Clav kissing his neck, hand wrapped around his cock stroking it disgustingly slow.
Cookie’s balls tighten.
He’s close, too fast. "fuck braden-" Because it’s been months since anyone has touched him, and the only thing that still gets him off is this digital grave of what they used to be.
Cookie comes with a broken yearning whine, spilling over his knuckles in thick ropes, splattering onto the screen. Warm cum shots land right onto Clav’s face in a photo. He keeps stroking through it, whining, shivering, until his hand cramps and the phone slips.
He lies there panting, cum drying on his stomach, chest heaving uncontrollably. “Still coping” he scoffs to nobody.
_____
The phone rings twice before Clav’s voice is to be heard through the phone.
"yo cookie waddup, i’m in the middle of a stream bro Subathon Seg, not now"
user3846kitkat: “COOOKIIEEEEE”
cheesecake5O: "AYYY ITS COOKIE ONNA PHONEE”
cheetosanddoritos: “cookie my king”
emerrrsyn: “boyfriend’s on the phone”
“That night”
voice loud n clear for the chat to hear. glaring into his tv screen to watch Clav’s face drop. he’s never been so needy for anyone before, fuck he’s fucked a few guys and girls here n there but why the fuck is Clavicular the only one making him go insane after one fuck? was it how tight he was? his pretty boy face? his cute cock throbbing everytime it was being squeezed?
“You remember?"
“what night? the fuck are you on about man. talk later i-”
"The one you keep pretending that didn’t happen” Cookie cuts in.
"The meth we shot up together dude, Then we got sloppy drunk, high out our minds? then i fucked you so-"
*beep*
the line cuts. chat goes feral.
bomboclitmog: "WTF WAS THAT??"
cuntslvtforclav: “SPILL MORE COOKIE 👀”
abcjsokayrjfiya: “am i hearing ts shit right??”
медведь: “WHYD YOU HANG UP GET HIM BACKK”
jaxsomh: "bruh i’m crine😭😭is this real??"
“Alright chat, uh… technical difficulties. Gonna take a quick break. Be right back.”
Clav clicks on Cookies number gripping onto his phone so hard it could genuinely snap in half.
"already missin me?”
"fuck you, what the fuck was that?? don’t ever bring that shit up again.”
“why not? got you more money, no?”
“whatever the fuck happened back then stays between us. it was a mistake. fucken psycho, stop being a bigmouth and pass on messages of us fucking in each other’s holes, like a fucking Nuncius from the midieval times.”
“what’s a Nuncius”
“shut the fuck up”
“damn sorry.. when can you come see me”
“when the fuck did i say i was”
“you still have your NAD here that you need.. gonna expire soon if you don’t put it to use.. cmon braden, n' i missed you..hm?”
“fuck off”
…
"after i grab my shit i’m leaving don’t even talk to me when i get there..”
“knew you missed me”
*beep*
PT 2.???👀👀👀👀